Glee fanfic: Let It Be (4) - Complete
Media: Fanfic
Title: Let It Be
Part: 4 of 4 (Complete)
Word Count: 3051
Author: lola_mejor
Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee, nor would I ever pretend to. Nor do I own the song featured in this chapter, obviously.
Spoilers: “Funeral”
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, Finn, Warblers
Rating: PG
Category: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Summary: Blaine tries to be there for Kurt during a tough time. (Told from Blaine’s perspective)
Author’s note: Well here we are finally... some clarity for poor Blaine. Story now complete.
---
Links to Part 1... Part 2... Part 3...
And now... Part 4:
---
“I’m really glad to see you though...”
Kurt’s last comment to Blaine before they went into the kitchen to join the family for dinner was the only thing that allowed Blaine to maintain his decorum during the meal.
The words floated around his head like a soothing mantra as he listened to Carole try to encourage Finn to eat; she was clucking disapprovingly at her son, who insisted he wasn’t hungry and it had *nothing* to do with the fact that Quinn and he had broken up; or with the fact that Rachel seemed to be quite interested in that Jesse St James kid.
Blaine watched Kurt carefully during the meal. He seemed tired - not in a sleepy way, but as if he was drained emotionally. That was probably fair enough, seeing as they’d had the memorial service that afternoon. Blaine wondered whether he should ask how it went, but then remembered technically he didn’t know it had happened. Burt came to the rescue on that front.
“I hear you boys did a wonderful job this afternoon,” Burt was speaking to both Finn and Kurt but, like Blaine, seemed to have his eyes on Kurt only. “You know Carole and I are very proud of you both for showing such compassion and for another person - especially one who hasn’t been too nice to you in the past.”
“Uh... yeah... thanks Dad,” Kurt was avoiding looking up from his plate as he moved some salad around with his fork.
“How did your audition go yesterday?” Burt continued, addressing only Kurt this time. He wasn’t giving up that easily.
Blaine’s head shot up. He didn’t even know Kurt had had an audition for something. Kurt glanced up to look at him quickly, a flash of guilt moving through them as Kurt mouthed “sorry” before responding to his father.
“Oh I don’t know...” Kurt’s voice seemed more steady now that he was speaking about himself. “I was good but I think Rachel will get the part for Nationals anyway.”
“That Jesse kid’s influence on the decision?” Burt’s voice grew tighter. “If there’s anything funny going on I can come and talk to that Mr Schuester - you deserve the big parts just as much as her.”
“No, no Dad it’s not like that,” Kurt waved a hand lazily in the air, batting away Burt’s concern. He sighed into his almost-empty plate and moved the last remaining bit of salad from one side to the other again. “Well, we won’t find out who got it until Monday anyway - there’s nothing I can do for now so I’m just not going to worry about it.”
Blaine watched the exchange carefully, surprised at Kurt’s nonchalance towards the audition. He was sure Kurt cared more about getting that solo than he let on, but the day’s events seemed to have drained him so much he didn’t have the energy to care about it right then and there.
Kurt glanced at Blaine again uncertainly, and Blaine noticed Kurt’s eyes flit down at Blaine’s empty plate, an eyebrow raised asking the silent question. Blaine nodded and felt his heartrate increase in anticipation and fear at the promise of finally getting some time alone with Kurt.
“May we be excused, Dad?” Kurt asked, trying to sound blasé about it. “We’ll clear the table first.”
Burt looked like he wanted to object to Blaine and Kurt spending alone time on family night rather than joining the rest of them in the living room, but the mood of the evening seemed to dissuade him.
“Sure Kurt, Blaine.” he nodded at them.
“Thank you for a wonderful dinner as always Ms Hudson,” Blaine smiled at Carole as he collected plates from around the table a little more noisily and hastily than would usually be the case, and handed them to Kurt who stood at the ready at the dishwasher to load them in.
If Carole responded to Blaine, he wasn’t still there to hear it as he and Kurt finished their task and moved briskly out of the kitchen.
---
Kurt had almost run to his room and Blaine had to keep a quick pace as he followed. As he got to the door of Kurt’s room he saw Kurt sitting on the end of his bed, looking tense, his focus fixed on the wall in front of him. Blaine hesitated at the door for a minute before softly shutting it behind him. Usually they left the door a little bit open as per Burt’s instructions, but tonight was different; and Blaine was pretty sure the reason they were asked to keep the door open wouldn’t apply tonight. He stood in front of the now-closed door for a couple of minutes, just watching Kurt, who was breathing evenly, hands scrunching his bedcovers tightly.
Eventually, Kurt’s head turned slowly to look at Blaine. At that moment all other thoughts went out of Blaine’s mind and he swooped in, climbing onto Kurt’s bed and balancing on his knees to be able to envelope Kurt in the biggest hug he could muster. He didn’t say anything, and instead just held Kurt tightly.
At first, Kurt didn’t react or move, his arms remaining at his side with hands scrunched in the bed covers. Blaine wasn’t about to give up, however, and just kept holding Kurt, one hand rubbing slightly at Kurt’s back. Slowly, Kurt’s muscles began to relax and he sank into Blaine’s hug. Eventually, Blaine felt Kurt’s hands reach slowly around his waist, holding him at first loosely, and then just as fiercely as Blaine was holding Kurt. It was then that Kurt’s breathing started to become laboured, his body shaking as the emotion only hinted at when they had last seen each other started coming out.
“It’s ok, Kurt,” Blaine whispered softly into his ear. “I’m here... for whatever you need, I’m here.” As much as Blaine wanted to ask for some kind of explanation and talk it out, he forced himself to indicate the exact opposite. “We don’t even have to talk about it... we can just be together for a while.”
Blaine heard a sob escape from Kurt into his chest at the last comment before Kurt started pulling back, his face red and puffy, eyes watering but full of gratitude.
“Can we do just that?” Kurt’s voice was louder than a whisper, but barely more than a squeak. “I just want to lie down with you holding me.”
Blaine nodded, smiling, and placed a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips before shifting with him up onto the bed and lying down, enveloping Kurt in his arms as they both lay on their side.
“Of course, Kurt,” he nuzzled into Kurt’s neck. “I’d like nothing more than to just be with you right now.”
Kurt reached out in front of him and pressed ‘play’ on his docked iPhone, and then re-folded his arm against his chest as Blaine held him, squeezing tightly.
Blaine immediately recognised the opening notes of the Beatles’ song Let It Be, and he kissed Kurt softly behind his ear but didn’t say a word as they both listened to the song.
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Blaine could feel Kurt’s shaky breath against his arms, and tried his best to remain strong and supportive in his hold on Kurt, while at the same time appreciating the pain being portrayed in the song.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Blaine realised he’d never listened to the lyrics of the song properly, and was starting to understand why Kurt was latching onto this particular song. His empathy for Ms Sylvester following her sister’s death came from Kurt knowing great pain himself - sharing in her pain. Blaine started to feel his own breath becoming shaky, as a lone tear dropped from Kurt’s cheek onto his hand.
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
The song came to an end, and it was obviously the only track that Kurt had had queued up as a relative silence fell over the room. The only noise was the minimal buzzing of Kurt’s bedside lamp, and the sound of their breathing.
“Did you know the ‘mother Mary’ in that song refers to Paul McCartney’s mother?” Kurt’s soft voice filled the room like silk. “She died of cancer when he was a kid and he used to dream of her when he was sad or stressed out; and it used to help him get through it.”
Blaine didn’t know what to say - he simply had no words. He was glad Kurt couldn’t see his face at that point because the colour had drained out of it with the sheer sadness of what Kurt had said.
“I used to wish I could dream about my mom like that,” Kurt said more softly, “that my subconscious could conjure up her image and her spirit to tell me what to do - like she’d never gone...” he stopped speaking for a while and Blaine placed a couple of soft kissing on his neck and shoulder, not knowing what else to do.
“But she is gone... and I’ve learnt not to pretend otherwise.” Kurt said the words with heartbreaking finality.
“Is that why you were so affected by what happened this week?” Blaine figured he already knew the answer, but needed a way to get Kurt to talk about what had happened. Moreover (and probably selfishly) he wanted to understand why it had led to Kurt shutting him out. “Because Ms Sylvester has lost the person that she most looked to?”
He felt Kurt nod in agreement and hugged his arms around him more tightly, waiting patiently for Kurt to say more.
“It’s impossibly hard, Blaine...” Kurt began but cut himself off for another minute before continuing. “I know no-one’s life is perfect but when you have such a big part of your life taken away, if there’s no-one there with you to help you face that then...” his voice had all but disappeared into a squeak and he paused again.
“But you have people with you... your Dad... me...” Blaine began but was cut-off immediately.
“I didn’t mean me - I meant Ms Sylvester.” Kurt said quickly, “You didn’t see her at school that day... she was so lost and I...” his breath hitched again, “I knew *exactly* how she felt.”
Blaine wanted to say something, but was afraid of saying the wrong thing again. Kurt spoke again before he could anyway.
“I knew how she felt,” Kurt continued, “but I also knew that she *didn’t* have someone in her life like I have my Dad... or you.” Blaine felt his heart flutter a little at the thought that Kurt did consider him a valuable source of support, but continued listening.
“So I decided to do everything I could to help; not to be that person for her to fall back on - because I can’t fill that role for her - but to do everything I could to help her remember Jean, and also say goodbye.”
Kurt seemed to have found his voice again and was now speaking more easily as he began recounting his activities from the week.
“I persuaded Finn to help and we approached Ms Sylvester, offering to help her. She said we could help pack up her sister’s room, and also allowed us to plan the memorial service.”
Blaine hugged Kurt a little tighter, impressed that his compassion extended to help a person who spent a lot of her time trying to destroy the Glee Club.
“She was hurting so much she wanted to throw all of her sister’s stuff out,” Kurt shook his head a little against the pillow, “but I knew she’d want some of that stuff eventually so we managed to save a lot of it - especially her sister’s ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ DVD, the original book ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’, and other paraphernalia. Ms Sylvester said it had been Jean’s favourite thing so we designed the memorial service with that theme - and the Glee Club sang ‘Pure Imagination’ from the movie.”
“That must have been beautiful, Kurt,” Blaine said softly into his neck. “What you have done for her is so wonderful.”
They lay there for another couple of minutes, not saying anything, just breathing in unison - but Blaine’s mind was still whirring with uncertainty: the uncertainty of why Kurt hadn’t been able to tell him any of this beforehand; the uncertainty of why Kurt hadn’t even told him about the memorial service - or his audition for that matter.
“There’s just one thing I don’t really understand,” Blaine stopped as soon has he had said the words, his heart suddenly racing. The last thing he wanted to do was accuse Kurt of not being considerate.
“What?” Kurt’s voice didn’t seem to be accusing, but Blaine already felt guilty for raising it. Kurt shuffled and turned so that he was facing Blaine, still within the hold of Blaine’s embrace, their faces only inches apart.
“Why...” Blaine swallowed as he looked into Kurt’s eyes, realising this was harder now that he could see the emotional exhaustion in Kurt’s expression. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before now? I knew you were hurting but I couldn’t do anything - I felt so powerless, Kurt.”
Blaine felt tears prickling at his eyes and blinked them way with frustration - he was not the person in pain here; he should be able to hold it together.
Kurt’s eyes widened slightly with surprise and realisation. “Oh Blaine I’m sorry I knew I was shutting you out but I didn’t realise how much...” he was looking for the right words, “I mean, I tried in my messages to reassure you that it wasn’t about you, but I couldn’t...” he trailed off.
“What couldn’t you do?” Blaine asked softly, not angry or hurt, just unsure.
“I couldn’t let myself lean on you, or on anyone,” Kurt finally answered, his eyes looking down to avoid Blaine’s for a minute, before he looked back up. “I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I was trying so hard to be strong in helping Ms Sylvester - while at the same time feeling so much of her pain myself - that I... I needed to be able to just concentrate on that without allowing myself to be swallowed by my own just to function.”
The buzzing of Kurt’s lamp and sound of the two boys breathing took over the room again, although now they could hear the dull sound of the television downstairs and some particularly intense emo music emanating from Finn’s room down the hall. Blaine didn’t quite know how to react to what Kurt had said. As much as he had wanted, yearned, to be able to be there for Kurt, if being separate from Kurt was what had allowed him to help Ms Sylvester as he had... then Blaine could see how it was the right thing for Kurt to do in the circumstances - even if it had hurt him to not be there; or know what was going on.
“You have to know I’ve wanted nothing but to be held by you, to be held by you like you’re holding me right now, since the moment I found out what happened.” Kurt seemed to be pleading with Blaine, perhaps uncertain at the silence that had filled the room. “I... I just wanted it all to go away and for you to hold me and tell me that you were here and that everything was ok, but then I wouldn’t have been able to be strong - I wouldn’t have been able to be strong for Ms Sylvester.”
Blaine pulled one of his arms back from around Kurt and brushed his fingers against Kurt’s cheek. “I understand,” he said, letting his hand come to a rest on Kurt’s cheek. And he really did understand, finally. No matter how much it had driven him insane, and no matter how much he would have liked to be a support to Kurt in his time of need, Blaine understood that sometimes people just needed to face something on their own - as long as they know that they have that person to lean on waiting for them. And Kurt definitely had him.
“And I’m so proud of you for everything,” Blaine continued, “and so touched that you would share your memories of your mom with me,” he referred back to the Beatles song they had listened to.
“Just do me a favour?” Blaine raised an eyebrow looking at Kurt before continuing. “Next time you need to face something on your own, tell me what’s going on so I don’t have to call Finn and interrogate him?”
Kurt gasped in slight shock before giggling at Blaine’s admission. He leaned in to kiss Blaine slowly; a warm, wet kiss with their saliva being joined by both their tears. When Kurt pulled away again, he was truly smiling - with his mouth and his eyes - for the first time that day.
“It’s a deal,” Kurt said, before releasing a contented sigh and resting his head back on the pillow, pulling himself closer to Blaine and closing his eyes, just happy to be with him. “Thank you, my prince,” he said sleepily, and without a hint of irony, into Blaine’s chest.
Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt’s forehead before leaning over him and pressing ‘play’ on the docked iPhone. He started humming along as the Beatles’ song began to play again, and they both sang along together softly to the lyrics; and they let it be.
Fin.
---
Author’s Note: And there we are. This is just a possible storyline that in my head could fit in with what we saw on the show. I hope it comes across that way - I know I kinda ignored the Nationals storyline but hopefully it doesn't jar too much. Thanks for reading.
Title: Let It Be
Part: 4 of 4 (Complete)
Word Count: 3051
Author: lola_mejor
Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee, nor would I ever pretend to. Nor do I own the song featured in this chapter, obviously.
Spoilers: “Funeral”
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, Finn, Warblers
Rating: PG
Category: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Summary: Blaine tries to be there for Kurt during a tough time. (Told from Blaine’s perspective)
Author’s note: Well here we are finally... some clarity for poor Blaine. Story now complete.
---
Links to Part 1... Part 2... Part 3...
And now... Part 4:
---
“I’m really glad to see you though...”
Kurt’s last comment to Blaine before they went into the kitchen to join the family for dinner was the only thing that allowed Blaine to maintain his decorum during the meal.
The words floated around his head like a soothing mantra as he listened to Carole try to encourage Finn to eat; she was clucking disapprovingly at her son, who insisted he wasn’t hungry and it had *nothing* to do with the fact that Quinn and he had broken up; or with the fact that Rachel seemed to be quite interested in that Jesse St James kid.
Blaine watched Kurt carefully during the meal. He seemed tired - not in a sleepy way, but as if he was drained emotionally. That was probably fair enough, seeing as they’d had the memorial service that afternoon. Blaine wondered whether he should ask how it went, but then remembered technically he didn’t know it had happened. Burt came to the rescue on that front.
“I hear you boys did a wonderful job this afternoon,” Burt was speaking to both Finn and Kurt but, like Blaine, seemed to have his eyes on Kurt only. “You know Carole and I are very proud of you both for showing such compassion and for another person - especially one who hasn’t been too nice to you in the past.”
“Uh... yeah... thanks Dad,” Kurt was avoiding looking up from his plate as he moved some salad around with his fork.
“How did your audition go yesterday?” Burt continued, addressing only Kurt this time. He wasn’t giving up that easily.
Blaine’s head shot up. He didn’t even know Kurt had had an audition for something. Kurt glanced up to look at him quickly, a flash of guilt moving through them as Kurt mouthed “sorry” before responding to his father.
“Oh I don’t know...” Kurt’s voice seemed more steady now that he was speaking about himself. “I was good but I think Rachel will get the part for Nationals anyway.”
“That Jesse kid’s influence on the decision?” Burt’s voice grew tighter. “If there’s anything funny going on I can come and talk to that Mr Schuester - you deserve the big parts just as much as her.”
“No, no Dad it’s not like that,” Kurt waved a hand lazily in the air, batting away Burt’s concern. He sighed into his almost-empty plate and moved the last remaining bit of salad from one side to the other again. “Well, we won’t find out who got it until Monday anyway - there’s nothing I can do for now so I’m just not going to worry about it.”
Blaine watched the exchange carefully, surprised at Kurt’s nonchalance towards the audition. He was sure Kurt cared more about getting that solo than he let on, but the day’s events seemed to have drained him so much he didn’t have the energy to care about it right then and there.
Kurt glanced at Blaine again uncertainly, and Blaine noticed Kurt’s eyes flit down at Blaine’s empty plate, an eyebrow raised asking the silent question. Blaine nodded and felt his heartrate increase in anticipation and fear at the promise of finally getting some time alone with Kurt.
“May we be excused, Dad?” Kurt asked, trying to sound blasé about it. “We’ll clear the table first.”
Burt looked like he wanted to object to Blaine and Kurt spending alone time on family night rather than joining the rest of them in the living room, but the mood of the evening seemed to dissuade him.
“Sure Kurt, Blaine.” he nodded at them.
“Thank you for a wonderful dinner as always Ms Hudson,” Blaine smiled at Carole as he collected plates from around the table a little more noisily and hastily than would usually be the case, and handed them to Kurt who stood at the ready at the dishwasher to load them in.
If Carole responded to Blaine, he wasn’t still there to hear it as he and Kurt finished their task and moved briskly out of the kitchen.
---
Kurt had almost run to his room and Blaine had to keep a quick pace as he followed. As he got to the door of Kurt’s room he saw Kurt sitting on the end of his bed, looking tense, his focus fixed on the wall in front of him. Blaine hesitated at the door for a minute before softly shutting it behind him. Usually they left the door a little bit open as per Burt’s instructions, but tonight was different; and Blaine was pretty sure the reason they were asked to keep the door open wouldn’t apply tonight. He stood in front of the now-closed door for a couple of minutes, just watching Kurt, who was breathing evenly, hands scrunching his bedcovers tightly.
Eventually, Kurt’s head turned slowly to look at Blaine. At that moment all other thoughts went out of Blaine’s mind and he swooped in, climbing onto Kurt’s bed and balancing on his knees to be able to envelope Kurt in the biggest hug he could muster. He didn’t say anything, and instead just held Kurt tightly.
At first, Kurt didn’t react or move, his arms remaining at his side with hands scrunched in the bed covers. Blaine wasn’t about to give up, however, and just kept holding Kurt, one hand rubbing slightly at Kurt’s back. Slowly, Kurt’s muscles began to relax and he sank into Blaine’s hug. Eventually, Blaine felt Kurt’s hands reach slowly around his waist, holding him at first loosely, and then just as fiercely as Blaine was holding Kurt. It was then that Kurt’s breathing started to become laboured, his body shaking as the emotion only hinted at when they had last seen each other started coming out.
“It’s ok, Kurt,” Blaine whispered softly into his ear. “I’m here... for whatever you need, I’m here.” As much as Blaine wanted to ask for some kind of explanation and talk it out, he forced himself to indicate the exact opposite. “We don’t even have to talk about it... we can just be together for a while.”
Blaine heard a sob escape from Kurt into his chest at the last comment before Kurt started pulling back, his face red and puffy, eyes watering but full of gratitude.
“Can we do just that?” Kurt’s voice was louder than a whisper, but barely more than a squeak. “I just want to lie down with you holding me.”
Blaine nodded, smiling, and placed a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips before shifting with him up onto the bed and lying down, enveloping Kurt in his arms as they both lay on their side.
“Of course, Kurt,” he nuzzled into Kurt’s neck. “I’d like nothing more than to just be with you right now.”
Kurt reached out in front of him and pressed ‘play’ on his docked iPhone, and then re-folded his arm against his chest as Blaine held him, squeezing tightly.
Blaine immediately recognised the opening notes of the Beatles’ song Let It Be, and he kissed Kurt softly behind his ear but didn’t say a word as they both listened to the song.
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Blaine could feel Kurt’s shaky breath against his arms, and tried his best to remain strong and supportive in his hold on Kurt, while at the same time appreciating the pain being portrayed in the song.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Blaine realised he’d never listened to the lyrics of the song properly, and was starting to understand why Kurt was latching onto this particular song. His empathy for Ms Sylvester following her sister’s death came from Kurt knowing great pain himself - sharing in her pain. Blaine started to feel his own breath becoming shaky, as a lone tear dropped from Kurt’s cheek onto his hand.
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
The song came to an end, and it was obviously the only track that Kurt had had queued up as a relative silence fell over the room. The only noise was the minimal buzzing of Kurt’s bedside lamp, and the sound of their breathing.
“Did you know the ‘mother Mary’ in that song refers to Paul McCartney’s mother?” Kurt’s soft voice filled the room like silk. “She died of cancer when he was a kid and he used to dream of her when he was sad or stressed out; and it used to help him get through it.”
Blaine didn’t know what to say - he simply had no words. He was glad Kurt couldn’t see his face at that point because the colour had drained out of it with the sheer sadness of what Kurt had said.
“I used to wish I could dream about my mom like that,” Kurt said more softly, “that my subconscious could conjure up her image and her spirit to tell me what to do - like she’d never gone...” he stopped speaking for a while and Blaine placed a couple of soft kissing on his neck and shoulder, not knowing what else to do.
“But she is gone... and I’ve learnt not to pretend otherwise.” Kurt said the words with heartbreaking finality.
“Is that why you were so affected by what happened this week?” Blaine figured he already knew the answer, but needed a way to get Kurt to talk about what had happened. Moreover (and probably selfishly) he wanted to understand why it had led to Kurt shutting him out. “Because Ms Sylvester has lost the person that she most looked to?”
He felt Kurt nod in agreement and hugged his arms around him more tightly, waiting patiently for Kurt to say more.
“It’s impossibly hard, Blaine...” Kurt began but cut himself off for another minute before continuing. “I know no-one’s life is perfect but when you have such a big part of your life taken away, if there’s no-one there with you to help you face that then...” his voice had all but disappeared into a squeak and he paused again.
“But you have people with you... your Dad... me...” Blaine began but was cut-off immediately.
“I didn’t mean me - I meant Ms Sylvester.” Kurt said quickly, “You didn’t see her at school that day... she was so lost and I...” his breath hitched again, “I knew *exactly* how she felt.”
Blaine wanted to say something, but was afraid of saying the wrong thing again. Kurt spoke again before he could anyway.
“I knew how she felt,” Kurt continued, “but I also knew that she *didn’t* have someone in her life like I have my Dad... or you.” Blaine felt his heart flutter a little at the thought that Kurt did consider him a valuable source of support, but continued listening.
“So I decided to do everything I could to help; not to be that person for her to fall back on - because I can’t fill that role for her - but to do everything I could to help her remember Jean, and also say goodbye.”
Kurt seemed to have found his voice again and was now speaking more easily as he began recounting his activities from the week.
“I persuaded Finn to help and we approached Ms Sylvester, offering to help her. She said we could help pack up her sister’s room, and also allowed us to plan the memorial service.”
Blaine hugged Kurt a little tighter, impressed that his compassion extended to help a person who spent a lot of her time trying to destroy the Glee Club.
“She was hurting so much she wanted to throw all of her sister’s stuff out,” Kurt shook his head a little against the pillow, “but I knew she’d want some of that stuff eventually so we managed to save a lot of it - especially her sister’s ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ DVD, the original book ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’, and other paraphernalia. Ms Sylvester said it had been Jean’s favourite thing so we designed the memorial service with that theme - and the Glee Club sang ‘Pure Imagination’ from the movie.”
“That must have been beautiful, Kurt,” Blaine said softly into his neck. “What you have done for her is so wonderful.”
They lay there for another couple of minutes, not saying anything, just breathing in unison - but Blaine’s mind was still whirring with uncertainty: the uncertainty of why Kurt hadn’t been able to tell him any of this beforehand; the uncertainty of why Kurt hadn’t even told him about the memorial service - or his audition for that matter.
“There’s just one thing I don’t really understand,” Blaine stopped as soon has he had said the words, his heart suddenly racing. The last thing he wanted to do was accuse Kurt of not being considerate.
“What?” Kurt’s voice didn’t seem to be accusing, but Blaine already felt guilty for raising it. Kurt shuffled and turned so that he was facing Blaine, still within the hold of Blaine’s embrace, their faces only inches apart.
“Why...” Blaine swallowed as he looked into Kurt’s eyes, realising this was harder now that he could see the emotional exhaustion in Kurt’s expression. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before now? I knew you were hurting but I couldn’t do anything - I felt so powerless, Kurt.”
Blaine felt tears prickling at his eyes and blinked them way with frustration - he was not the person in pain here; he should be able to hold it together.
Kurt’s eyes widened slightly with surprise and realisation. “Oh Blaine I’m sorry I knew I was shutting you out but I didn’t realise how much...” he was looking for the right words, “I mean, I tried in my messages to reassure you that it wasn’t about you, but I couldn’t...” he trailed off.
“What couldn’t you do?” Blaine asked softly, not angry or hurt, just unsure.
“I couldn’t let myself lean on you, or on anyone,” Kurt finally answered, his eyes looking down to avoid Blaine’s for a minute, before he looked back up. “I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I was trying so hard to be strong in helping Ms Sylvester - while at the same time feeling so much of her pain myself - that I... I needed to be able to just concentrate on that without allowing myself to be swallowed by my own just to function.”
The buzzing of Kurt’s lamp and sound of the two boys breathing took over the room again, although now they could hear the dull sound of the television downstairs and some particularly intense emo music emanating from Finn’s room down the hall. Blaine didn’t quite know how to react to what Kurt had said. As much as he had wanted, yearned, to be able to be there for Kurt, if being separate from Kurt was what had allowed him to help Ms Sylvester as he had... then Blaine could see how it was the right thing for Kurt to do in the circumstances - even if it had hurt him to not be there; or know what was going on.
“You have to know I’ve wanted nothing but to be held by you, to be held by you like you’re holding me right now, since the moment I found out what happened.” Kurt seemed to be pleading with Blaine, perhaps uncertain at the silence that had filled the room. “I... I just wanted it all to go away and for you to hold me and tell me that you were here and that everything was ok, but then I wouldn’t have been able to be strong - I wouldn’t have been able to be strong for Ms Sylvester.”
Blaine pulled one of his arms back from around Kurt and brushed his fingers against Kurt’s cheek. “I understand,” he said, letting his hand come to a rest on Kurt’s cheek. And he really did understand, finally. No matter how much it had driven him insane, and no matter how much he would have liked to be a support to Kurt in his time of need, Blaine understood that sometimes people just needed to face something on their own - as long as they know that they have that person to lean on waiting for them. And Kurt definitely had him.
“And I’m so proud of you for everything,” Blaine continued, “and so touched that you would share your memories of your mom with me,” he referred back to the Beatles song they had listened to.
“Just do me a favour?” Blaine raised an eyebrow looking at Kurt before continuing. “Next time you need to face something on your own, tell me what’s going on so I don’t have to call Finn and interrogate him?”
Kurt gasped in slight shock before giggling at Blaine’s admission. He leaned in to kiss Blaine slowly; a warm, wet kiss with their saliva being joined by both their tears. When Kurt pulled away again, he was truly smiling - with his mouth and his eyes - for the first time that day.
“It’s a deal,” Kurt said, before releasing a contented sigh and resting his head back on the pillow, pulling himself closer to Blaine and closing his eyes, just happy to be with him. “Thank you, my prince,” he said sleepily, and without a hint of irony, into Blaine’s chest.
Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt’s forehead before leaning over him and pressing ‘play’ on the docked iPhone. He started humming along as the Beatles’ song began to play again, and they both sang along together softly to the lyrics; and they let it be.
Fin.
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Author’s Note: And there we are. This is just a possible storyline that in my head could fit in with what we saw on the show. I hope it comes across that way - I know I kinda ignored the Nationals storyline but hopefully it doesn't jar too much. Thanks for reading.