I wish my parents had divorced when I was little, as growing up with parents who hate each other's guts but never had the courage to do anything about it (and use you as as excuse for staying together when they want to blackmail you emotionally) is as bad (or worse) than having to cope with divorce.
I can definitely believe that. I'm really glad my parents are divorced at this point, even though it makes for some awkward maneuvering. I actually suspect I would have less emotional scarring if they'd divorced earlier on.
Exactly. It's like what Robin Williams says at the end of Mrs. Doubtfire - sometimes it's better to have divorced parents that can be civil to each other than having parents who are still together but make each other miserable.
Yeah. Also for me it helped me understand where a lot of my issues were coming from instead of having the illusion of this healthy happy nuclear family and feeling like "why am I not totally fine?".
My Dad came through in the end, but he did abandon me before... and to top that, when my Mum was going through a rough time she sent me to her parents for two years (or to be precise, a year, took me back for a year, sent me back for another year), for my own good. Now that's abandonment issues stuff -_-'
And my Dad came back to being a loving if irresponsible Dad just to die some time later which sucks out loud...
Joss doesn't like fathers, too... ;)
♥
BTW: I'm facing a dilemma - homework or new Bones... ;)
That really is huge. Although I think my siblings might have been better off being sent to my grandparents when my parents split up and my mom was completely unhinged for a few years.
My dad has sort of come back, but not in a way that I can trust or rely on.
My experience with my parents' divorce was pretty strange, because after a few years of being bounced back and forth between the two I settled permanently with my dad. And yes, he drove me crazy and he's done things that I hate, but at the end of the day I have a WAY better opinion of dads in general than most children of divorce do. Hell, if anything, I resent my mom.
I know that does happen sometimes. Both my current man and my high school boyfriend were raised by their fathers after divorce and the mothers were the unreliable ones.
I'm in the less usual position of having been 18 when my parents split so I wasn't part of a custody fiasco. My father screwed me over really hard anyway so he gets to be the villian, but I definitely have issues with my mom as well.
Yeah, I'd imagine it really sucks to have your parents split up when you're older. I'm glad mine split when they did (I was...four, I think? Four or five, because it was after my sister was born) rather than trying to hang on.
I'm really bitter towards my mom because she cheated on my dad, which I didn't find out until I was in my teens. I always assumed I'd feel differently if I grew up with her, but Courtney lived with her until she was 18 and she has major issues with her too.
The other really awful thing about your parents divorcing when you are in college is that they don't have to consider/take care of you and all the sudden the support you'd counted on disappears as well as you having to deal with the emotional fallout of messy divorce.
My dad was the one who cheated and left, but my mom was also seriously insane for a few years during the breakup and did a lot of damage herself.
My experience with my parents' divorce left me feeling confused, upset and uncertain about the situation because it happened when I was still young, and it wasn't until later when I realized what had actually happened. But in regards of my father he was pretty much the deadbeat dad type. He was there physically, he just wasn't an active participant for taking care of either me or my sister. He seemed to have trouble parenting and always made promises he couldn't keep, letting both of us down every time he did so. Even today he has trouble communicating with either of us or have the common sense of knowing what to do in certain situations involving his own daughters
( ... )
I'm beginning to suspect that stuff like this is a root of a lot of our difficulty in trusting... especially trusting men.
I, for a long time, pretty actively picked guys I knew I couldn't trust. Somehow that was less threatening than not knowing whether they were going to come through for me or not.
I never thought I was holding back at the time but I really was. I was scared to tell the guys I was involved with how I felt or ask for what I wanted. And if I found a guy who seemed too interested in me I would freak out and ditch him.
Now, I have a really hard time believing that my boyfriend is really not going to leave, reject, or otherwise hurt me... even though he has given me no reason to doubt his sincerity. I'm getting better at talking about it though (mostly thanks to a few years of hard work in therapy).
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*wipes tear*
That was a hilarious conversation.
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But that's my sister... breaking hearts and all.
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Back when there was that script for dislikes one of mine was: fathers (non-fictional).
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And my Dad came back to being a loving if irresponsible Dad just to die some time later which sucks out loud...
Joss doesn't like fathers, too... ;)
♥
BTW: I'm facing a dilemma - homework or new Bones... ;)
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My dad has sort of come back, but not in a way that I can trust or rely on.
At least he doesn't like real fathers.
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I'm in the less usual position of having been 18 when my parents split so I wasn't part of a custody fiasco. My father screwed me over really hard anyway so he gets to be the villian, but I definitely have issues with my mom as well.
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I'm really bitter towards my mom because she cheated on my dad, which I didn't find out until I was in my teens. I always assumed I'd feel differently if I grew up with her, but Courtney lived with her until she was 18 and she has major issues with her too.
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My dad was the one who cheated and left, but my mom was also seriously insane for a few years during the breakup and did a lot of damage herself.
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always made promises he couldn't keep
I'm beginning to suspect that stuff like this is a root of a lot of our difficulty in trusting... especially trusting men.
I, for a long time, pretty actively picked guys I knew I couldn't trust. Somehow that was less threatening than not knowing whether they were going to come through for me or not.
I never thought I was holding back at the time but I really was. I was scared to tell the guys I was involved with how I felt or ask for what I wanted. And if I found a guy who seemed too interested in me I would freak out and ditch him.
Now, I have a really hard time believing that my boyfriend is really not going to leave, reject, or otherwise hurt me... even though he has given me no reason to doubt his sincerity. I'm getting better at talking about it though (mostly thanks to a few years of hard work in therapy).
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