Comments | lockholm: saying thank you

lockholm

saying thank you

May 17, 2009 00:38

As I cross on crosswalks, I'll often thank the stopped drivers with a wave or a salute. On a number of occasions (in which Bo and I are in the same location, so a finite number :P) this has prompted a discussion about thanking people when they do something that they are supposed to do or even required by law to do. I recognize that drivers are ( Read more... )

Comments 4

The Social Contract robertmapril May 17 2009, 15:34:11 UTC

I don't smile, but I sometimes wave and typically I do try and hurry past them out of courtesy, especially if it looks like the driver is trying to make a right turn. And while it's true that they're required by law to stop, I know from my own experience on the opposite end of the wheel, sitting and waiting for people to cross the street, that a smile is definitely pleasant and taking forever on the crosswalk is maddening.

The difference between sexual behavior and traffic laws is, by and large, people do not fuck in the street. My or someone else's sexual proclivities, when you get right down to it, affect no one but the person I'm involved with. You can run a person over quite literally with a car, but, again by and large, people have only been metaphorically run down by romance.

Re: The Social Contract math_avenger May 18 2009, 03:00:18 UTC

I'm with Matt: Though it's required, it's not always fun to wait for pedestrians, especially when they think the world revolves around them (see undergrads crossing the street near the Michigan Union around lunch time -- ugh!). So a smile or wave lets the driver know that you appreciate the time they're taking to let you pass ( ... )

Re: The Social Contract lockholm May 18 2009, 19:31:09 UTC

Yes, I think you guys are right on the money with the idea that the real key is acknowledging that the other person is there - is a person ( ... )

Re: The Social Contract math_avenger May 19 2009, 00:47:54 UTC

So do I understand that you are exploring the ways in which the status quo is maintained? I definitely agree that there are cultural constructs of "normal" that play a huge role in constraining individual expression. And the little rewards that are given for maintaining that status quo are legion. I feel this is particularly the case for people who are socially awkward (while I'm sure it's probably true for all people, I am most acquainted with this construct in boys/men). There's a huge pressure to be liked, but it is hard for the socially awkward. A way to try to get an "in" is to employ some of the many stock phrases/insults (e.g. "check out that fag", "([a-z]+)-er? I hardly know her") to garner laughs/acceptance. Sadly, I feel that so much of our society isolates people and doesn't let them realize that other people are people, too ( ... )