bad-fic rant

[llamabitchyo]

I have blood pressure issues, so I totally should make a new rule for myself. As soon as a fic has anyone start explaining/thinking about how in gay relationships one of them has to be the woman, I fucking stop reading. Fanfic is not worth getting that annoyed with

Comments

[nopseud]

The last one not only had the "OMG, one of us has to be the woman, I think I should be the man because I don't want you sticking it in me" freak out, it had the "I should be sticking it in you because women are always the ones in the relationship that care about housework and I don't want to do that." (Seriously, that author has issues.) And the response? "Yes, that's why I have a maid, a woman, to take care of that for me."

rom no on, he orld is someho going o have o make do ihou any o he leers , or , because hey've all been used up by ha sory. !!!

I only skimmed the fic. That's what saved me.

Hee!

You know, if you look up at the top of the browser tab, there's a little red button with an X on it that can save you so much pain :-)

Also, last night I dreamed about MPREG!JC, who had been stranded in the UK by the ash cloud after being at Camp Sparkle (!) and was panicking about how he was going to get home to Lance before the alien baby got big enough to show up on an airport scanner.

[llamabitchyo]

But it's like trainwreck syndrome, when the fic is so bad I have to see how big of a wreck it will become?

Oh no! Poor MPREG!JC. The stress won't be good for him or the young! (Though I hope the CampSparklers were nice and had a babyshower for him. Lots of little newt booties and things.)

[nopseud]

Tragically, the dream did not include MPREG!JC actually being at Camp Sparkle. Which would've been awesome. Although I guess we would've had to make difficult decisions like, is listening to a reading of The Lava Lamp Story contra-indicated by pregnancy?

Pen and I did tell him that he could stay with us, but he wanted to get home. I don't know what happened in the end -- my alarm clock went off.

[pensnest]

Well, damn. I could have been very kind to MPREG!JC, I'm sure. Curse you, alarm clock!

[leethet]

The sad reality is that teenaged girls are the producers of a LOT of fiction - now, when the fiction is about teenaged girls, I'm sure they're closer to getting it right. Unfortunately, a lot of their fiction is about grown men, who in quite a few ways are not exactly like teenaged girls.

Mind you, it is possible to write a fic about two ignorant sexist men who get together, and they might have such a conversation. "I get to top, because you like to cook and you care about your clothes, and I'm into cars. Everyone knows that makes me the "man" and you the "woman."" Mind you, I wouldn't want to read about two morons any more than I want to read fic written by one. :-)

So, yeah, word. I don't read much fic anymore.

[sandpanther]

Your masochistic tendencies always awe and amaze me. But thank you for summarizing the horror so I can sit from the safe comfort of my armchair and boggle. :)

[llamabitchyo]

You know how much I miss not being able to read these horrors out loud to you? Your armchair shouldn't be too safe!