Many Things

[lizzie_marie_23]

I'm scared of life. I don't know what to do next and I'm stuck at a crossroads and there's a big wonderful world out there full to bursting with possibilities and I'm terrified by it because I just know I'm going to do something stupid every single moment.

But I don't want to die. I really don't. There's just so many things I want to do that I haven

Comments

[samueljames]

It's totally normal to stress and worry. I spent ten years doing a job I hated before I finally made the decision to quit. What I really want is to be a librarian which is why I'm now doing my degree at age 32.

You can't see all the what ifs of each decision but my logic is you only get the one chance at life so you need to do whatever is right for you. Sometimes making a decision seems impossible but hopefully you'll get some sign/guidance to help you.

I'm not particularly religious but I believe in angels and that is very important to me. I believe them to be a big help. When I look at my old notebooks I used to pray for a way out of my job and debts. I went from owing 12,000 to having 20,000 saved. I couldn't see a way through it back then but there is a huge relief when you make a decision.

Writing is also a big help, even if it's stuff you don't post you can work out your issues on your characters.

Hope you'll turn a corner soon because I hate to think of you wanting to die.

Take Care
Audrey

[lizzie_marie_23]

Thank you so much for this. The really scary part of it is that there's no one decision that needs to be made. It's more like the entire direction my life is going lately, and I don't even know what I want instead.

Thank you for the angels. It's really helpful to know that someone cares and knows about this stuff.

Writing has definitely been a big help. But sometimes I worry that I've been living too long in a fairy-tale world, and eventually I'm going to have to wake up and see the way it really is.

I don't really want to die. That was my 3AM voice whispering to me. It's better once the sun comes up. It always is

Thank you so much for your support,
Liz

[samueljames]

Doreen Virtue's angel books and cards are great. Without sounding patronising it's hard to know what you want to do for your life when you're still a teenager. I had no clue what I wanted even though everyone expects you to know what you want.

With regard to writing/fandom I do feel I'm too invested in fictional characters but yet I wouldn't be without it for anything.

I'm glad it was just the 3AM voice because you had me worried there.

Audrey

[flyingmachine]

That's been my inner monologue too, so I know how you feel. I'm graduating soon with a degree that doesn't really speak to my interests anymore, and I'm terrified about what's next-- about figuring out what's next for me. But I guess all we can really do is keep looking, keep moving forward, and keep trying. Through failures and hopefully successes, it's life. Gritty, messy, confusing life.

[caramelsilver]

Oh honey! I'm so sorry.

And what's really scary is that I could just as easily written this post. I wanna cheer you up! What can I do? Anything!

*Lots of hugs and love*

[lizzie_marie_23]

I'm not really sure what I need/want anymore. It's just great to know that I have such wonderful friends who care about me and my crazy messed up life.

Do you have any picspams about Karl Urban? That would make me happy!

[soonest_mended]

Well, I'm only 24 and therefore hardly a Grand Jedi Master, but I gotta tell you

[soonest_mended]

Long comment is loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Sorry. XD

[lizzie_marie_23]

Thank you for your long comment. I feel really relieved that I'm not the only one who's confused about where I'm going. I'm so happy for you that everything turned out all right. Ooh, I have a passion for cooking too. Thanks again for caring.

[zempasuchil]

honey <333333 Feeling depressed and directionless really sucks and it's hard to think of a reason for going from day to day. What carried me through senior year was a blind ambition to get into and go to the University of Chicago; after that I've kind of just floated along. I, too, am afraid of doing something stupid every single moment. But you have to believe in yourself, in how you got this far so you can keep doing things right, you really can. Don't put too much pressure on yourself about this "half-living" business. I stressed the fuck out about creative stagnation and being jobless during some past summers and it didn't do anything. Some days you really are allowed to not want to do anything; a minimum is a good thing to set, like schoolwork, and anything beyond that involvement isn't necessary. You're going to be fine. Allow yourself to relax about this. Everything is easier when you give yourself permission to relax.