Queryitis: The Relapse
Ah, spring, when a young writer's fancy turns to thoughts of querying....
(It is, embarrassingly, almost exactly a year since I last did this. I know I said the query might take me as long as the novel, but I thought I was joking.)
So, I have revised the query for the first novel. For those unfamiliar with the process, the purpose of a query is to get an agent interested enough in the story to request some or all of the manuscript. It should introduce the most important characters, hit the highlights of the plot, and convey the genre, tone, and voice of the novel. And it should do it all in about 250 words.
I'd really appreciate some feedback on this, whether you consider yourself "just a reader" or you've been through this game yourself. Is it interesting? Are there any bits that you find confusing? Do the characters sound like people you'd choose to spend several hours of your leisure time with? If you read this on a back cover, would you turn to page 1? In short, oh f-list and others, would you read this book?
Dear [Agent],
Elle Davis used to be a spy -- now she's on the run from her own agency. Along with her fourteen-year-old daughter Haley, Elle's been scrambling to stay one step ahead of her former associates. Her old boss, Eichmeyer, has his eye on Haley for the next generation of Department agents, courtesy of a special, off-the-books training program he's designed himself. But Elle's seen the results of his so-called training before, and there's no way in hell she's letting Eichmeyer get hold of her daughter for it.
It isn't easy staying out of the reach of someone with Eichmeyer's resources -- especially when one of those resources is Elle's husband. James, a fellow agent and Elle's long-time partner in the field and out, is also one of Eichmeyer's most loyal supporters. And even though they've come down on opposite sides in this, he's still the one person Elle trusts most in the world -- and the one person she doesn't dare trust at all.
But Haley wasn't raised by spies for nothing; she has a plan to reunite her family, which starts with turning herself in. Elle has little choice but to follow, even though lulling James' suspicions means crossing a line she never wanted to approach. While struggling to protect Haley in the midst of Eichmeyer's scheme, Elle tries to dig up evidence she can use against him, but she's watched too closely and trusted too little. Elle finally has to embrace her worst nightmare: running Haley as an asset within Eichmeyer's organization. Haley gets in deep, but Eichmeyer knows he has a leak. Elle and Haley must race to get what they need to bring Eichmeyer down before he catches them in the act.
HIGHWAY OF MIRRORS is an espionage novel, complete at 75,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.
(It is, embarrassingly, almost exactly a year since I last did this. I know I said the query might take me as long as the novel, but I thought I was joking.)
So, I have revised the query for the first novel. For those unfamiliar with the process, the purpose of a query is to get an agent interested enough in the story to request some or all of the manuscript. It should introduce the most important characters, hit the highlights of the plot, and convey the genre, tone, and voice of the novel. And it should do it all in about 250 words.
I'd really appreciate some feedback on this, whether you consider yourself "just a reader" or you've been through this game yourself. Is it interesting? Are there any bits that you find confusing? Do the characters sound like people you'd choose to spend several hours of your leisure time with? If you read this on a back cover, would you turn to page 1? In short, oh f-list and others, would you read this book?
Dear [Agent],
Elle Davis used to be a spy -- now she's on the run from her own agency. Along with her fourteen-year-old daughter Haley, Elle's been scrambling to stay one step ahead of her former associates. Her old boss, Eichmeyer, has his eye on Haley for the next generation of Department agents, courtesy of a special, off-the-books training program he's designed himself. But Elle's seen the results of his so-called training before, and there's no way in hell she's letting Eichmeyer get hold of her daughter for it.
It isn't easy staying out of the reach of someone with Eichmeyer's resources -- especially when one of those resources is Elle's husband. James, a fellow agent and Elle's long-time partner in the field and out, is also one of Eichmeyer's most loyal supporters. And even though they've come down on opposite sides in this, he's still the one person Elle trusts most in the world -- and the one person she doesn't dare trust at all.
But Haley wasn't raised by spies for nothing; she has a plan to reunite her family, which starts with turning herself in. Elle has little choice but to follow, even though lulling James' suspicions means crossing a line she never wanted to approach. While struggling to protect Haley in the midst of Eichmeyer's scheme, Elle tries to dig up evidence she can use against him, but she's watched too closely and trusted too little. Elle finally has to embrace her worst nightmare: running Haley as an asset within Eichmeyer's organization. Haley gets in deep, but Eichmeyer knows he has a leak. Elle and Haley must race to get what they need to bring Eichmeyer down before he catches them in the act.
HIGHWAY OF MIRRORS is an espionage novel, complete at 75,000 words. Thank you for your time and consideration.