Don't you realize (6/?)
Title: Don't you realize? (6/?)
Author: littleangelmary
Pairing: Izzie/Addison
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Summary: Sometimes it takes a little longer...
Comments are much appreciated :)
Chapter 6
If someone was going to ask her tomorrow how she had ended up standing in front of Addison’s hotel room, she wasn’t sure she would know the answer. Somehow, while wandering aimlessly around, she had found herself in front of her room. Although, she guessed, it was unlikely the door would open miraculously by itself while she was standing there, doing nothing but staring at it.
She contemplated knocking but honestly, what was she going to say? ‘Hey, Addison, I really had a bad day, can I come in?’ That would go really well considering how she had acted. Something else she had to apologize for, which only led to the question how she could explain it all.
Sighing deeply, she took a step aside and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until she was sitting. She felt ridiculous for being there, and then she didn’t even have the courage to knock and talk to her. Because wasn’t that what she had come for? She didn’t want to go home and see the others.
She almost fell on her side when the door opened, the sudden movement startling her. Looking up, she saw Addison staring down at her, giving her a funny look. Neither spoke and the silence was beginning to bother Izzie. Now probably was a good time to say something, or at least offer some kind of explanation as to why she was sitting in front of Addison’s room. But she couldn’t.
Just when she thought the silence was becoming too much, Addison broke it, “What are you doing here?” Her voice sounded distant and detached. And Izzie couldn’t exactly blame her for not being overly excited to see her.
“I…uh…” Izzie stammered nervously, “I’m…” She stopped again, not knowing how to continue. Why were the seemingly easiest questions the probably hardest to answer? She pressed her hands on the wall and pushed herself upwards, so that she was at least standing now. “I actually don’t know why I’m here,” She admitted quietly.
“Well,” Addison paused for a moment, “Can’t say I’ve heard that reply many times before. Maybe, you should have thought of a reason before coming here.”
“You’re right,” Izzie replied, staring down at the ground. It wasn’t going well, no surprise there, and she really shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. She didn’t know what she had expected, “I’m uhm just gonna go,” She mumbled and turned around to leave.
After the first step into the direction of the elevator, Addison grabbed her elbow and held her back. “Wait, what did you want?” She sighed lightly.
“It’s fine, you don’t want me here, and you’re right.” Izzie answered, looking shyly and uncertain at her.
“Just… get inside,” Addison made a wild gesture with her hand and it wasn’t clear whether it was meant to shoo her away or tell her to walk into her room.
Izzie decided to follow Addison’s words and not her rather confusing gesture and, after giving her a weak but to some extend thankful smile, walked in. Though, being inside the room where things had started, didn’t make her feel much better. Looking around, a bit unnerved and unsettled, she wondered what she should do. Sit on the couch or remain standing?
When Addison closed the door behind her, a semi-loud thud interrupting the silence, she had to admit that it startled her. She turned around and was met by an impatiently looking Addison and she knew she finally should say something of value, at least more than ‘I don’t know why I came here’. Because deep down, she very well knew why.
She took a step forward, offering her a shy smile while slightly scratching head, “I’m sorry.”
Addison raised her eyebrows and looked at her, a puzzled look on her face, “For what exactly?”
“Saying those things and being so mean,” Izzie answered, speaking softly.
“Did you mean it?” Addison’s voice showed some kind of hope and that scared Izzie.
“I don’t know,” She replied and gave her an apologetic smile and then sighed. Things were complicated. She didn’t know whether she had meant it or whether it was only to hurt Addison to make her stay away. Somehow, she preferred the simpler way. And that was to keep Addison at least an arm length away so that she didn’t have to deal with her feelings.
“Why are you here?” Addison’s tone was back to being cold and distant and Izzie couldn’t blame her. The game she seemed to be playing was one step forward, two steps back and Addison wasn’t the only one getting frustrated.
“I don’t know,” Izzie uttered the words with a mix of desperation and helplessness she didn’t know she possessed and while she spoke she could see Addison’s features soften a bit. “I just needed to see you… I…” She let out a frustrated puff of air and, without thinking, closed the remaining gap between them, pressing her lips on Addison’s.
Almost right away, she could feel Addison trying to pull away but, against better knowledge, she grabbed Addison’s shirt to keep her close, refusing to let her go. Addison only struggled for a moment and then gave in, her right hand finding the back of Izzie’s neck to pull her closer. Encouraged by that, Izzie opened her mouth slightly, running her tongue over Addison’s bottom lip, seeking entrance to deepen the kiss.
When Addison complied her wish, a smile appeared on Izzie’s face. Her hands let go of Addison’s shirt, confident that she wasn’t going to run away. Pressing her palms against Addison’s stomach, she pushed her backwards until her back was against the door. Slowly, Izzie let her hands travel down until she reached the rim of shirt and slipped them beneath her shirt, caressing Addison’s skin lightly.
She felt like being in trance, everything came naturally without her actually thinking about it. The next thing she knew, she was slightly pushing on Addison’s shirt, inching it higher and higher. Her mouth never left Addison’s and when she heard her gasp softly, it was like someone had suddenly waken her up.
She abruptly broke the kiss and pulled away, a horrified look on her face, “I’m… sorry, I… I didn’t mean to…,” Izzie stuttered, trying to get a grip of what had just taken place, or rather what she had done.
Addison stared at her with confusion written all over her face. She slowly straightened her shirt and moved away from the door and towards Izzie. Much to her surprise, Izzie backed away. “What…?” She wanted to continue but Izzie’s expression told her all she needed to know.
Without saying another word, Izzie walked by her and opened the door. Before she left, she took another glance over her shoulder and tried to give her a small smile, even though she had no idea what it was supposed to do. There was nothing she could say or do to make this any better.
When she closed the door, she could hear Addison sigh deeply and she could feel her frustration. It very much mirrored her own. She leaned against the door, letting her head fall back against it. Closing her eyes, she wondered what she was going to do now.
To stop being so stupid probably would be a first step into the right direction.
Author: littleangelmary
Pairing: Izzie/Addison
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Summary: Sometimes it takes a little longer...
Comments are much appreciated :)
Chapter 6
If someone was going to ask her tomorrow how she had ended up standing in front of Addison’s hotel room, she wasn’t sure she would know the answer. Somehow, while wandering aimlessly around, she had found herself in front of her room. Although, she guessed, it was unlikely the door would open miraculously by itself while she was standing there, doing nothing but staring at it.
She contemplated knocking but honestly, what was she going to say? ‘Hey, Addison, I really had a bad day, can I come in?’ That would go really well considering how she had acted. Something else she had to apologize for, which only led to the question how she could explain it all.
Sighing deeply, she took a step aside and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until she was sitting. She felt ridiculous for being there, and then she didn’t even have the courage to knock and talk to her. Because wasn’t that what she had come for? She didn’t want to go home and see the others.
She almost fell on her side when the door opened, the sudden movement startling her. Looking up, she saw Addison staring down at her, giving her a funny look. Neither spoke and the silence was beginning to bother Izzie. Now probably was a good time to say something, or at least offer some kind of explanation as to why she was sitting in front of Addison’s room. But she couldn’t.
Just when she thought the silence was becoming too much, Addison broke it, “What are you doing here?” Her voice sounded distant and detached. And Izzie couldn’t exactly blame her for not being overly excited to see her.
“I…uh…” Izzie stammered nervously, “I’m…” She stopped again, not knowing how to continue. Why were the seemingly easiest questions the probably hardest to answer? She pressed her hands on the wall and pushed herself upwards, so that she was at least standing now. “I actually don’t know why I’m here,” She admitted quietly.
“Well,” Addison paused for a moment, “Can’t say I’ve heard that reply many times before. Maybe, you should have thought of a reason before coming here.”
“You’re right,” Izzie replied, staring down at the ground. It wasn’t going well, no surprise there, and she really shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. She didn’t know what she had expected, “I’m uhm just gonna go,” She mumbled and turned around to leave.
After the first step into the direction of the elevator, Addison grabbed her elbow and held her back. “Wait, what did you want?” She sighed lightly.
“It’s fine, you don’t want me here, and you’re right.” Izzie answered, looking shyly and uncertain at her.
“Just… get inside,” Addison made a wild gesture with her hand and it wasn’t clear whether it was meant to shoo her away or tell her to walk into her room.
Izzie decided to follow Addison’s words and not her rather confusing gesture and, after giving her a weak but to some extend thankful smile, walked in. Though, being inside the room where things had started, didn’t make her feel much better. Looking around, a bit unnerved and unsettled, she wondered what she should do. Sit on the couch or remain standing?
When Addison closed the door behind her, a semi-loud thud interrupting the silence, she had to admit that it startled her. She turned around and was met by an impatiently looking Addison and she knew she finally should say something of value, at least more than ‘I don’t know why I came here’. Because deep down, she very well knew why.
She took a step forward, offering her a shy smile while slightly scratching head, “I’m sorry.”
Addison raised her eyebrows and looked at her, a puzzled look on her face, “For what exactly?”
“Saying those things and being so mean,” Izzie answered, speaking softly.
“Did you mean it?” Addison’s voice showed some kind of hope and that scared Izzie.
“I don’t know,” She replied and gave her an apologetic smile and then sighed. Things were complicated. She didn’t know whether she had meant it or whether it was only to hurt Addison to make her stay away. Somehow, she preferred the simpler way. And that was to keep Addison at least an arm length away so that she didn’t have to deal with her feelings.
“Why are you here?” Addison’s tone was back to being cold and distant and Izzie couldn’t blame her. The game she seemed to be playing was one step forward, two steps back and Addison wasn’t the only one getting frustrated.
“I don’t know,” Izzie uttered the words with a mix of desperation and helplessness she didn’t know she possessed and while she spoke she could see Addison’s features soften a bit. “I just needed to see you… I…” She let out a frustrated puff of air and, without thinking, closed the remaining gap between them, pressing her lips on Addison’s.
Almost right away, she could feel Addison trying to pull away but, against better knowledge, she grabbed Addison’s shirt to keep her close, refusing to let her go. Addison only struggled for a moment and then gave in, her right hand finding the back of Izzie’s neck to pull her closer. Encouraged by that, Izzie opened her mouth slightly, running her tongue over Addison’s bottom lip, seeking entrance to deepen the kiss.
When Addison complied her wish, a smile appeared on Izzie’s face. Her hands let go of Addison’s shirt, confident that she wasn’t going to run away. Pressing her palms against Addison’s stomach, she pushed her backwards until her back was against the door. Slowly, Izzie let her hands travel down until she reached the rim of shirt and slipped them beneath her shirt, caressing Addison’s skin lightly.
She felt like being in trance, everything came naturally without her actually thinking about it. The next thing she knew, she was slightly pushing on Addison’s shirt, inching it higher and higher. Her mouth never left Addison’s and when she heard her gasp softly, it was like someone had suddenly waken her up.
She abruptly broke the kiss and pulled away, a horrified look on her face, “I’m… sorry, I… I didn’t mean to…,” Izzie stuttered, trying to get a grip of what had just taken place, or rather what she had done.
Addison stared at her with confusion written all over her face. She slowly straightened her shirt and moved away from the door and towards Izzie. Much to her surprise, Izzie backed away. “What…?” She wanted to continue but Izzie’s expression told her all she needed to know.
Without saying another word, Izzie walked by her and opened the door. Before she left, she took another glance over her shoulder and tried to give her a small smile, even though she had no idea what it was supposed to do. There was nothing she could say or do to make this any better.
When she closed the door, she could hear Addison sigh deeply and she could feel her frustration. It very much mirrored her own. She leaned against the door, letting her head fall back against it. Closing her eyes, she wondered what she was going to do now.
To stop being so stupid probably would be a first step into the right direction.