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of the empty. of what she does to bandaid the empty. trivial. fake. wasted days.

she would like to have something real now please.

and she thinks she has reached the point where she can.

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first time ive sat still and conversed with him in days. video games and beer. grateful for each damn second.
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friends that genuinely give a shit, and make an effort to be involved despite age creeping up an all the things that brings with it.

my imperfect and loving family. care and love despite my many faults and fuck ups. and for the most part love me essentially as is.

my siblings, heart and soul, always my hero siblings.

this boy, who is teaching me more ( Read more... )

im at my worst. i have lost all hope. i cant even go to hospital for help.

i cannot be saved.

i have been completely let down by the public mental healthcare system.

where is the incentive to get well. when if you try. no one believes you. no one listens. no one worries for you. no one has room.

how can i be saved?
when there is no one to save me at my worst?