If
Title: If
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Summary: If I could choose to hold your hand, there’ll be no words to say.
A sort of continuation drabble to taemun’s original drabble entitled When I See You From Afar, and named after, as well as partially inspired by this Filipino song.
Yunho believes in letting life take him wherever it wants. He’s a miniscule being in the grand spectrum of life - so really, he doesn’t want to waste time fighting the things that be. Here today and gone tomorrow, there’s no point in being too attached to anything because it can be gone in an instant.
He falls in love quickly and falls out of it just as swiftly, or at least - that’s how things used to go.
When did it start? He really has no clue whatsoever. Perhaps it was two years ago, after he’d broken up with some girl he met at a bar, but what he remembers most distinctly is seeing him the morning after. Just standing out on the street curb, possibly waiting for the bus or possibly waiting for a date, he was there, and for some reason, Yunho was entranced.
His initial reaction is acceptance. After all, there’s nothing wrong with finding a handsome stranger attractive, and lastly, the feelings are sure to go away. There’s nothing to build his attraction upon. He doesn’t know the other’s name, he doesn’t know where he lives, he doesn’t know where he goes to school or if he still even goes to school.
It’ll go away, he’s sure of it.
But the months pass, and the feelings don’t go away. Instead of his thoughts fading off and being replaced in favor of something else, they multiply and become uncontrollable. He fantasizes, thinking of situations where they’re more than just strangers in this big city, and then the next thing he knows, he can’t help but return to that street day after day.
His skateboard brings them closer, the sound of its wheels rolling against the cement of the sidewalk deafened by the anxious beating of his heart. They inch so close to one another that Yunho knows that if he reached his hand out and bridged the millimeters between them, he’d graze against the one he’s longed after for so long. Despite that knowledge, he keeps his arms away, and rolls past - keeping himself as nothing more than a fleeting blur in the timeline of the other’s life.
Will you ever remember me, he wonders, look at me and notice me -
Skateboarding is an escape for him, in more ways than one, and it keeps them apart.
He’s a coward, and as he flees, he acknowledges that, but what words will suffice? How can he explain what he feels for a stranger he’s never spoken to? Surely the other man recognizes him, after all an unruly skater in the midst of a sea of suited up workers and students would be hard to miss - but they still know nothing about one another.
Aside from that, he’s afraid of the other man - maybe, just maybe, if he speaks to his beloved stranger, the beautiful dream he’s built around him will be shattered. Yunho is too carried away in the river of his emotions, and he knows he’s spent far too long slipping past the other.
One day, he feels like the other is watching him. He lifts his head, his eyes moving away from his untied shoelaces, and catches the other looking at him. They hold one another’s gazes, and Yunho’s heart thuds in his chest. There is a busy street between them, but he can’t help but feel like the single moment has brought them closer.
Perhaps this distance is more self-imposed than he thought?
The next day, he’s determined. His skateboard is absent, and he walks, his eyes scanning the streets for that familiar face. He catches the other staring at the ground and makes his way, his feet carrying him through a distance that feels like a thousand miles.
There are only a few meters between them, and he slows down although his heart refuses to follow suit. His footsteps seem to shatter the silence shared between the two of them, and when he finally stops, his heart is beating so hard in his chest that he fears the other man may hear and flee from the intensity of his feelings.
They’re waiting for the street sign to turn green, a signal to cross, and the sign may change at any second. Yunho can feel the pressure, and before he can second guess himself for any longer, he speaks.
“Hey.”
His heart thuds at the rate of a thousand miles a second, and he wonders if perhaps he hadn’t really said the word aloud. Maybe it’s all a fantasy that’s playing out in his mind, or maybe he’s finally gone insane.
The other man turns to face him, and Yunho’s unsure of the kind of expression he’s making at that moment. Deep down he is both happy and afraid, his feelings are hard to handle, and the urge to flee is rising with each second of silence that passes. He wants the street sign to turn green, there’s no way the other will reply to him -
“Hey.”
The signal turns green.
Author’s Note: Firstly, so many, many, many thanks to taemun for letting me “continue” her already wonderful story. This is just a little drabble I had an urge to write after reading her story. I’m quite proud of it, and I hope it does justice to the story it was inspired by. ^^ Thank you for reading & commenting! ♥
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Summary: If I could choose to hold your hand, there’ll be no words to say.
A sort of continuation drabble to taemun’s original drabble entitled When I See You From Afar, and named after, as well as partially inspired by this Filipino song.
Yunho believes in letting life take him wherever it wants. He’s a miniscule being in the grand spectrum of life - so really, he doesn’t want to waste time fighting the things that be. Here today and gone tomorrow, there’s no point in being too attached to anything because it can be gone in an instant.
He falls in love quickly and falls out of it just as swiftly, or at least - that’s how things used to go.
When did it start? He really has no clue whatsoever. Perhaps it was two years ago, after he’d broken up with some girl he met at a bar, but what he remembers most distinctly is seeing him the morning after. Just standing out on the street curb, possibly waiting for the bus or possibly waiting for a date, he was there, and for some reason, Yunho was entranced.
His initial reaction is acceptance. After all, there’s nothing wrong with finding a handsome stranger attractive, and lastly, the feelings are sure to go away. There’s nothing to build his attraction upon. He doesn’t know the other’s name, he doesn’t know where he lives, he doesn’t know where he goes to school or if he still even goes to school.
It’ll go away, he’s sure of it.
But the months pass, and the feelings don’t go away. Instead of his thoughts fading off and being replaced in favor of something else, they multiply and become uncontrollable. He fantasizes, thinking of situations where they’re more than just strangers in this big city, and then the next thing he knows, he can’t help but return to that street day after day.
His skateboard brings them closer, the sound of its wheels rolling against the cement of the sidewalk deafened by the anxious beating of his heart. They inch so close to one another that Yunho knows that if he reached his hand out and bridged the millimeters between them, he’d graze against the one he’s longed after for so long. Despite that knowledge, he keeps his arms away, and rolls past - keeping himself as nothing more than a fleeting blur in the timeline of the other’s life.
Will you ever remember me, he wonders, look at me and notice me -
Skateboarding is an escape for him, in more ways than one, and it keeps them apart.
He’s a coward, and as he flees, he acknowledges that, but what words will suffice? How can he explain what he feels for a stranger he’s never spoken to? Surely the other man recognizes him, after all an unruly skater in the midst of a sea of suited up workers and students would be hard to miss - but they still know nothing about one another.
Aside from that, he’s afraid of the other man - maybe, just maybe, if he speaks to his beloved stranger, the beautiful dream he’s built around him will be shattered. Yunho is too carried away in the river of his emotions, and he knows he’s spent far too long slipping past the other.
One day, he feels like the other is watching him. He lifts his head, his eyes moving away from his untied shoelaces, and catches the other looking at him. They hold one another’s gazes, and Yunho’s heart thuds in his chest. There is a busy street between them, but he can’t help but feel like the single moment has brought them closer.
Perhaps this distance is more self-imposed than he thought?
The next day, he’s determined. His skateboard is absent, and he walks, his eyes scanning the streets for that familiar face. He catches the other staring at the ground and makes his way, his feet carrying him through a distance that feels like a thousand miles.
There are only a few meters between them, and he slows down although his heart refuses to follow suit. His footsteps seem to shatter the silence shared between the two of them, and when he finally stops, his heart is beating so hard in his chest that he fears the other man may hear and flee from the intensity of his feelings.
They’re waiting for the street sign to turn green, a signal to cross, and the sign may change at any second. Yunho can feel the pressure, and before he can second guess himself for any longer, he speaks.
“Hey.”
His heart thuds at the rate of a thousand miles a second, and he wonders if perhaps he hadn’t really said the word aloud. Maybe it’s all a fantasy that’s playing out in his mind, or maybe he’s finally gone insane.
The other man turns to face him, and Yunho’s unsure of the kind of expression he’s making at that moment. Deep down he is both happy and afraid, his feelings are hard to handle, and the urge to flee is rising with each second of silence that passes. He wants the street sign to turn green, there’s no way the other will reply to him -
“Hey.”
The signal turns green.
Author’s Note: Firstly, so many, many, many thanks to taemun for letting me “continue” her already wonderful story. This is just a little drabble I had an urge to write after reading her story. I’m quite proud of it, and I hope it does justice to the story it was inspired by. ^^ Thank you for reading & commenting! ♥