Distance [2/?]
Title: Distance
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Yunho had assumed that one day he’d be able to bridge the gap between their worlds, but one day, he realized that perhaps that day would never come.
He couldn’t understand why the word lingered on his lips long after Yunho had left, or why he couldn’t bring himself to say it when Yunho had been so close, staring at him with those heartbroken eyes of his.
Stay. Every single fiber of his being ached at the loss of the one thing that had brought him so much happiness and so much joy - no matter how different they’d been in the beginning, he’d always felt like Yunho completed him.
From every single rambling thought to each calculated movement, Yunho had brought about a sense of consistency and undeniable strength into his life.
Jaejoong slumped further and let his face fall helplessly into his hands - what had he brought into Yunho’s life? What had he brought aside from artistic and beautiful chaos? Had he contributed anything other than his deceptive charm and ravenous hunger for love?
He felt so lost, so alone, and he had no idea what to do next. As he stared at the ebony and ivory keys splayed out in front of him, he wondered where he would find the passion and vigor to start anew.
“No cigarettes today?”
Jaejoong jerked upright and glanced at the door, unsurprisingly, his guest was none other than Yoochun. He forced a smile and shrugged, “I ran out. I didn’t feel like braving the cold to get more boxes.”
“Good, I don’t want you getting lung cancer before you’re thirty.” Yoochun replied, although the joke hardly had any life to it. Jaejoong could feel the penetrating gaze of the other, the judging scope that tried to assess him for any new damage that may have occurred since the last visit.
Yoochun moved across the office, carelessly stepping on tossed aside compositions and empty cigarette boxes, and sat down on the piano stool. “Your concert is tomorrow, you do realize that right?”
“It hasn’t left my mind - I know it is.” Jaejoong splayed his fingers about the keys, as if he were about to start playing the piano at any moment. “Despite...” he held back and closed his eyes, “I’ll perform.”
“I’ve been waiting the entire week, and...” Yoochun glanced at Jaejoong, “I can’t let you go out there - have you looked at yourself Jaejoong? You look like a mess, the moment people see you, they’ll think you’re on a verge of a mental breakdown. You need time, and I can give you that -“
“It’s tomorrow Yoochun, you can’t give me time, and even if you could, I don’t want it.” Jaejoong replied, his eyes remaining shut. “Music...it’s the last thing I have left, and I can’t just cancel a performance suddenly, and you know that. I’ll perform tomorrow night, and after that...”
“And after that?”
“I’ll decide what to do - how I’ll cope.” Jaejoong replied, his eyes finally opening. He turned his head and met Yoochun’s worried gaze, “Years ago, I lived a life without Yunho, I’ll somehow find my way back to that.”
“Jaejoong -“
“There’s nothing left to talk about.”
o-o-o
He woke up to a throbbing pain in his head, and an empty bed.
Jaejoong turned and reached out, his hand grasping for the pillow he hadn’t touched ever since Yunho’s departure. He gripped it tightly and brought it to his chest before he shut his eyes tightly and hugged it close.
It still smelled like him.
Everything was wrong. He wasn’t used to having a performance without Yunho’s terribly prepared breakfast that he would eat anyway, the reassuring kisses Yunho would leave against his skin throughout the day -
There was nothing else to describe his life at the moment aside from the idea that nothing was right.
He’d so carefully built his fragile world on the rock that was Yunho, and now Yunho was gone.
Gone, and quite possibly never coming back.
The thought sent a shiver up his spine and made his heart clench even more painfully in his chest. Jaejoong left his bed or what used to be their bed, and made his way to his studio in a rush.
He pushed the door open and frantically rushed to the cabinet where he kept everything. He ignored the ringing of his phone, the loud beating of his heart, the noises of Paris slowly coming to life - he could only think of one thing.
Jaejoong pulled out the composition he’d been working on and never finished - a music piece, a fragment of his soul put into notes. The work of music that he had thought he would have all the time in the world to finish.
In pencil lead, written in Yunho’s neat and tiny scrawl at the top of composition, was one of the many questions he’d never answered.
Is this going to be for me?
Jaejoong gripped the papers tightly and felt the tears begin to slowly roll down his cheeks as he sobbed quietly in the chaos of his new life.
Yes Yunho, it’s for you.
o-o-o
Jaejoong stared at his reflection and tried to calm his shaking hands. He glanced helplessly at the dressing room door and just prayed that someone would come inside and help him - Yunho had always been the one to do his ties before.
His prayers were answered, and Junsu came into the room with his usual exuberant smile on his youthful face.
“Do you need help with that?” he asked, slowly crossing the room. He didn’t bother to wait for Jaejoong’s reply, and he quickly knotted the satin tie with nimble fingers as he hummed one of Jaejoong’s compositions.
“I look terrible.”
“Everyone has their off days,” Junsu replied lightly as he let go of the burgundy fabric and began to brush dust off Jaejoong’s tie, “Yours just happens to be a week. I’m sure you’ll have better days soon.”
Jaejoong kept his mouth shut. He was fairly sure Junsu did not know about what had happened between him and Yunho. He hadn’t said a word, and he’d sworn Yoochun to complete secrecy.
“Usually Yunho does this for you.” Junsu commented as he admired his knot and how good Jaejoong looked. He lifted his eyes off Jaejoong’s clothes and looked up at the other man, “Speaking of Yunho, where is he?”
Jaejoong’s throat dried.
He licked his lips anxiously and turned away, “Seoul.”
“Oh really? I didn’t think that it was in him to miss one of your performances. I’m so used to him -“
The door opened and Yoochun poked his head in, “Jaejoong, it’s time.”
Jaejoong let out a relieved sigh and walked away from Junsu quickly, eager to get away from the other man and his questions. He only had one love now and that was music which was what he repeated in his head as he followed Yoochun and for a brief moment, he thought he successfully convinced himself that music was his only love.
If only he could get his heart to feel the same way.
o-o-o
Jaejoong left the piano stool and slowly walked forward until he reached an appropriate distance from the end of the stage. He stopped and met the eyes of the people in the front row - everyone from rich patrons to people from the record label company, to Yoochun.
His eyes froze at the sight of the empty seat next to Yoochun.
It hit him hard, and he took a shaky step back. He could feel his calm facade crumbling to pieces, and he didn’t know how could salvage a proper bow. His heart felt like it was being twisted painfully, and his vision was blurry.
Jaejoong blinked, once, twice, trying to regain his cool, but he could hardly think straight. It was a combination of heartbreak, exhaustion, pressure, and it all hit him in one swift blow.
Yet he remained standing on stage, his face an unrivalled combination of musical genius and sculpted perfection - the perfect artist in both physical and creative form.
It didn’t look at all like he was broken and shattered on the inside as he fought hard to suppress the overwhelming emotion that was threatening to overflow and ruin his carefully maintained sense of composure.
He fulfilled his duties even after the concert.
He allowed Yoochun to introduce him to countless faces with names he would most likely not remember, he listened to people rave on and on about his music - and at the end of the night, he went home and went to bed.
Alone.
o-o-o
Jaejoong opened the door to his studio, and he was surprised to see Yunho sitting in front of the piano. He watched from the doorway as his boyfriend furrowed his brows and glared at the music sheet in front of him.
“What are you doing?”
Yunho turned his head in surprise, “Oh, I just wanted to...” he glanced at the music sheet before he ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment, “I wanted to learn something on the piano - for you.”
Jaejoong took a step closer, and Yunho immediately stood up. “No! Close your eyes. If you can figure out the song when I play it, then I’ll know I learned it well.”
“Yunho, you really don’t have to -“
“Jaejoong, please?”
He gave in, Yunho’s pleading tone was irresistible. Jaejoong closed the door first before he leaned against it and closed his eyes. He listened as Yunho shifted on the piano seat and accidentally knocked against the piano keys.
“I didn’t mean to do that.” Yunho muttered, “I’m just nervous. It’s not every day that one plays for a world renowned pianist with thousands of fans -“
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Shut up, I’m about to start.”
Yunho exhaled, and Jaejoong waited. He didn’t have to wait long - in a few seconds, the other man began to play. From the first few notes, albeit there being a few mistakenly pressed keys, Jaejoong knew what the song was.
“Moon River.”
He opened his eyes, and Yunho was looking at him. “So, I don’t suck?”
Jaejoong crossed the space between them and sat down in front of the piano. He began to play the piece before he glanced at Yunho, who was staring at Jaejoong’s hands as he played the piano.
Yunho lifted his eyes up and smiled, “It sounds much better when you play it.”
“Only because -“ Jaejoong blinked in surprise as Yunho interrupted him with a kiss. His boyfriend quickly nipped at his bottom lip, asking for entrance to his mouth which he willingly complied to.
Yunho pulled away and he left the piano seat before he took hold of Jaejoong’s arm and began to lead him out of the studio. Jaejoong followed, nearly stumbling on a stack of books on the floor.
“Where are we going?”
“As much as I love your piano playing, I prefer hearing you moan my name.”
“Yunho!” Jaejoong shouted, a blush spreading across his cheeks as his boyfriend pressed him up against the bedroom door and began to bite at sensitive spots on his neck. “Don’t -“
“I love you.” Yunho murmured, pausing his actions to press his forehead against Jaejoong’s, their noses pressed against each other’s. He stared into Jaejoong’s eyes, “I love you, so much.”
No matter how many times Jaejoong had heard those words, the words always sent his heart aflutter.
“I love you too.”
o-o-o
He’d woken up the next day with the determination to move on.
Instead, minutes later, he found himself surrounded by memories of Yunho which brought about the unbearable constriction in his chest. He’d opened his closet with the simple goal of finding a shirt, and instead he saw one of Yunho’s old university sweaters.
Jaejoong crumpled down onto the floor, the sweater clutched tightly in his hands as he began to cry, his tears drenching the fabric. He gripped it so tightly that it pained his hands, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.
He couldn’t let go. His heart couldn’t go back to the old days - it couldn’t return to the days in which Yunho was absent and not even a part of his life. Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to return to the schedule in which he lived only for himself and music.
He was going in circles, and there was no way he would be able to forget Yunho.
Jaejoong found himself crying even harder, sobbing louder and harder than he had ever since Yunho had left. He tried to push out negative thoughts, but there was a pervading thought that refused to leave his mind.
While he was busy clinging to his memories, Yunho had probably already moved on.
The idea of that broke his heart even further, and he couldn’t find the strength in his legs to stand up. He was too busy, being broken and crumpled on the floor, lacking in all will to get up and move on. His heart wouldn’t let him forget.
His phone began to ring, and Jaejoong stood on shaky legs. He made his way to the dresser slowly and answered, trying his best to hide the fact that he’d been sobbing just seconds earlier.
“What -“
“Yunho called.”
Jaejoong dropped the phone, the words resounding in his ears. It brought new joy to his pained heart and lightly relieved the constricting tightness of his chest. He quickly bent down and stammered, “What did he say?”
“Jaejoong, don’t do anything stupid -“
“I’m not.” Jaejoong replied as he balanced his phone and began to pack things into a bag. He threw whichever he got his hands on - not caring about looking fashionable, presentable or anything, he just needed the essentials.
He’d never been impulsive, a trait he and Yunho shared, but it was like a new side of himself was coming out at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t been forgotten and that in the chaotic aftermath of their breakup there was still something there.
Perhaps, there was still hope for them both.
Jaejoong didn’t bother to hear the rest of Yoochun’s lengthy backstory, what mattered most was that Yunho had called.
He didn’t care if that was a stupid and small insignificant string of hope to hold onto, but it was all he had. If for months Yunho had worried that he’d never cared enough about the two of them that he hadn’t loved him at all, Jaejoong would prove him wrong.
“Yoochun, I’m going home.”
“Home? Where have you been? I thought you went straight -“
“I’m going to look for him.”
Jaejoong walked past his studio and caught sight of something as he passed by the open door. He rushed inside and fumbled through the mess. He retrieved the papers, stuck them inside and envelope and made his way out of his apartment, almost forgetting to lock the door in his rush.
Holding the envelope close to his chest, he hailed a taxi.
No place was home without Yunho.
< >
Author’s Note: I’ve used up a lot of my energy on angst, and I think, just maybe I’ve gotten past all the sadness. I wanted to get this out as soon as possible, anything to help me move on from the angst phase I’ve been going through. I’ve finally managed to end this on an optimistic point, but I can’t guarantee that Yunho & Jaejoong shall be meeting up in the next chapter. There are still other issues to be worked out, and a few of them involve other people. I hope this lived up to expectations, especially since there was quite a long wait. I broke my creative block with this stories due to two things, first, I started playing the piano again in my free time and the song Even If I Try to Go Crazy by Alex of Clazziquai. If you look at the English lyrics, it goes really well with this chapter in terms of meaning (in fact, some of the lines in the story are similar to lyrics from the song, so a disclaimer on that I suppose, just in case) and it helped me so much in finding the inspiration to write this story again. I do hope that you guys leave a comment telling me about how you feel about this. There are more flashbacks to follow, one of them being as to how Yunho & Jaejoong met. I might make the next chapter entirely composed of flashbacks. I’m not sure yet. Anyway, about my other stories, I shall be working on the next chapter of A Learning Process and the sequel to Suppress because I’ve been dying to write for the two of them. I have so many ideas for both, and I just need the time to sit down and write them! I’m so busy lately, so replies to comments will be late. Anyway, happy birthday to lovely Kwon Ji Yong and an early happy anniversary to the group that is my great love of KPOP, Big Bang. As usual guys, thank you for reading, and I’d love to hear what you guys think of the chapter! ♥
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Summary: Yunho had assumed that one day he’d be able to bridge the gap between their worlds, but one day, he realized that perhaps that day would never come.
He couldn’t understand why the word lingered on his lips long after Yunho had left, or why he couldn’t bring himself to say it when Yunho had been so close, staring at him with those heartbroken eyes of his.
Stay. Every single fiber of his being ached at the loss of the one thing that had brought him so much happiness and so much joy - no matter how different they’d been in the beginning, he’d always felt like Yunho completed him.
From every single rambling thought to each calculated movement, Yunho had brought about a sense of consistency and undeniable strength into his life.
Jaejoong slumped further and let his face fall helplessly into his hands - what had he brought into Yunho’s life? What had he brought aside from artistic and beautiful chaos? Had he contributed anything other than his deceptive charm and ravenous hunger for love?
He felt so lost, so alone, and he had no idea what to do next. As he stared at the ebony and ivory keys splayed out in front of him, he wondered where he would find the passion and vigor to start anew.
“No cigarettes today?”
Jaejoong jerked upright and glanced at the door, unsurprisingly, his guest was none other than Yoochun. He forced a smile and shrugged, “I ran out. I didn’t feel like braving the cold to get more boxes.”
“Good, I don’t want you getting lung cancer before you’re thirty.” Yoochun replied, although the joke hardly had any life to it. Jaejoong could feel the penetrating gaze of the other, the judging scope that tried to assess him for any new damage that may have occurred since the last visit.
Yoochun moved across the office, carelessly stepping on tossed aside compositions and empty cigarette boxes, and sat down on the piano stool. “Your concert is tomorrow, you do realize that right?”
“It hasn’t left my mind - I know it is.” Jaejoong splayed his fingers about the keys, as if he were about to start playing the piano at any moment. “Despite...” he held back and closed his eyes, “I’ll perform.”
“I’ve been waiting the entire week, and...” Yoochun glanced at Jaejoong, “I can’t let you go out there - have you looked at yourself Jaejoong? You look like a mess, the moment people see you, they’ll think you’re on a verge of a mental breakdown. You need time, and I can give you that -“
“It’s tomorrow Yoochun, you can’t give me time, and even if you could, I don’t want it.” Jaejoong replied, his eyes remaining shut. “Music...it’s the last thing I have left, and I can’t just cancel a performance suddenly, and you know that. I’ll perform tomorrow night, and after that...”
“And after that?”
“I’ll decide what to do - how I’ll cope.” Jaejoong replied, his eyes finally opening. He turned his head and met Yoochun’s worried gaze, “Years ago, I lived a life without Yunho, I’ll somehow find my way back to that.”
“Jaejoong -“
“There’s nothing left to talk about.”
o-o-o
He woke up to a throbbing pain in his head, and an empty bed.
Jaejoong turned and reached out, his hand grasping for the pillow he hadn’t touched ever since Yunho’s departure. He gripped it tightly and brought it to his chest before he shut his eyes tightly and hugged it close.
It still smelled like him.
Everything was wrong. He wasn’t used to having a performance without Yunho’s terribly prepared breakfast that he would eat anyway, the reassuring kisses Yunho would leave against his skin throughout the day -
There was nothing else to describe his life at the moment aside from the idea that nothing was right.
He’d so carefully built his fragile world on the rock that was Yunho, and now Yunho was gone.
Gone, and quite possibly never coming back.
The thought sent a shiver up his spine and made his heart clench even more painfully in his chest. Jaejoong left his bed or what used to be their bed, and made his way to his studio in a rush.
He pushed the door open and frantically rushed to the cabinet where he kept everything. He ignored the ringing of his phone, the loud beating of his heart, the noises of Paris slowly coming to life - he could only think of one thing.
Jaejoong pulled out the composition he’d been working on and never finished - a music piece, a fragment of his soul put into notes. The work of music that he had thought he would have all the time in the world to finish.
In pencil lead, written in Yunho’s neat and tiny scrawl at the top of composition, was one of the many questions he’d never answered.
Is this going to be for me?
Jaejoong gripped the papers tightly and felt the tears begin to slowly roll down his cheeks as he sobbed quietly in the chaos of his new life.
Yes Yunho, it’s for you.
o-o-o
Jaejoong stared at his reflection and tried to calm his shaking hands. He glanced helplessly at the dressing room door and just prayed that someone would come inside and help him - Yunho had always been the one to do his ties before.
His prayers were answered, and Junsu came into the room with his usual exuberant smile on his youthful face.
“Do you need help with that?” he asked, slowly crossing the room. He didn’t bother to wait for Jaejoong’s reply, and he quickly knotted the satin tie with nimble fingers as he hummed one of Jaejoong’s compositions.
“I look terrible.”
“Everyone has their off days,” Junsu replied lightly as he let go of the burgundy fabric and began to brush dust off Jaejoong’s tie, “Yours just happens to be a week. I’m sure you’ll have better days soon.”
Jaejoong kept his mouth shut. He was fairly sure Junsu did not know about what had happened between him and Yunho. He hadn’t said a word, and he’d sworn Yoochun to complete secrecy.
“Usually Yunho does this for you.” Junsu commented as he admired his knot and how good Jaejoong looked. He lifted his eyes off Jaejoong’s clothes and looked up at the other man, “Speaking of Yunho, where is he?”
Jaejoong’s throat dried.
He licked his lips anxiously and turned away, “Seoul.”
“Oh really? I didn’t think that it was in him to miss one of your performances. I’m so used to him -“
The door opened and Yoochun poked his head in, “Jaejoong, it’s time.”
Jaejoong let out a relieved sigh and walked away from Junsu quickly, eager to get away from the other man and his questions. He only had one love now and that was music which was what he repeated in his head as he followed Yoochun and for a brief moment, he thought he successfully convinced himself that music was his only love.
If only he could get his heart to feel the same way.
o-o-o
Jaejoong left the piano stool and slowly walked forward until he reached an appropriate distance from the end of the stage. He stopped and met the eyes of the people in the front row - everyone from rich patrons to people from the record label company, to Yoochun.
His eyes froze at the sight of the empty seat next to Yoochun.
It hit him hard, and he took a shaky step back. He could feel his calm facade crumbling to pieces, and he didn’t know how could salvage a proper bow. His heart felt like it was being twisted painfully, and his vision was blurry.
Jaejoong blinked, once, twice, trying to regain his cool, but he could hardly think straight. It was a combination of heartbreak, exhaustion, pressure, and it all hit him in one swift blow.
Yet he remained standing on stage, his face an unrivalled combination of musical genius and sculpted perfection - the perfect artist in both physical and creative form.
It didn’t look at all like he was broken and shattered on the inside as he fought hard to suppress the overwhelming emotion that was threatening to overflow and ruin his carefully maintained sense of composure.
He fulfilled his duties even after the concert.
He allowed Yoochun to introduce him to countless faces with names he would most likely not remember, he listened to people rave on and on about his music - and at the end of the night, he went home and went to bed.
Alone.
o-o-o
Jaejoong opened the door to his studio, and he was surprised to see Yunho sitting in front of the piano. He watched from the doorway as his boyfriend furrowed his brows and glared at the music sheet in front of him.
“What are you doing?”
Yunho turned his head in surprise, “Oh, I just wanted to...” he glanced at the music sheet before he ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment, “I wanted to learn something on the piano - for you.”
Jaejoong took a step closer, and Yunho immediately stood up. “No! Close your eyes. If you can figure out the song when I play it, then I’ll know I learned it well.”
“Yunho, you really don’t have to -“
“Jaejoong, please?”
He gave in, Yunho’s pleading tone was irresistible. Jaejoong closed the door first before he leaned against it and closed his eyes. He listened as Yunho shifted on the piano seat and accidentally knocked against the piano keys.
“I didn’t mean to do that.” Yunho muttered, “I’m just nervous. It’s not every day that one plays for a world renowned pianist with thousands of fans -“
“You’re exaggerating.”
“Shut up, I’m about to start.”
Yunho exhaled, and Jaejoong waited. He didn’t have to wait long - in a few seconds, the other man began to play. From the first few notes, albeit there being a few mistakenly pressed keys, Jaejoong knew what the song was.
“Moon River.”
He opened his eyes, and Yunho was looking at him. “So, I don’t suck?”
Jaejoong crossed the space between them and sat down in front of the piano. He began to play the piece before he glanced at Yunho, who was staring at Jaejoong’s hands as he played the piano.
Yunho lifted his eyes up and smiled, “It sounds much better when you play it.”
“Only because -“ Jaejoong blinked in surprise as Yunho interrupted him with a kiss. His boyfriend quickly nipped at his bottom lip, asking for entrance to his mouth which he willingly complied to.
Yunho pulled away and he left the piano seat before he took hold of Jaejoong’s arm and began to lead him out of the studio. Jaejoong followed, nearly stumbling on a stack of books on the floor.
“Where are we going?”
“As much as I love your piano playing, I prefer hearing you moan my name.”
“Yunho!” Jaejoong shouted, a blush spreading across his cheeks as his boyfriend pressed him up against the bedroom door and began to bite at sensitive spots on his neck. “Don’t -“
“I love you.” Yunho murmured, pausing his actions to press his forehead against Jaejoong’s, their noses pressed against each other’s. He stared into Jaejoong’s eyes, “I love you, so much.”
No matter how many times Jaejoong had heard those words, the words always sent his heart aflutter.
“I love you too.”
o-o-o
He’d woken up the next day with the determination to move on.
Instead, minutes later, he found himself surrounded by memories of Yunho which brought about the unbearable constriction in his chest. He’d opened his closet with the simple goal of finding a shirt, and instead he saw one of Yunho’s old university sweaters.
Jaejoong crumpled down onto the floor, the sweater clutched tightly in his hands as he began to cry, his tears drenching the fabric. He gripped it so tightly that it pained his hands, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it go.
He couldn’t let go. His heart couldn’t go back to the old days - it couldn’t return to the days in which Yunho was absent and not even a part of his life. Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to return to the schedule in which he lived only for himself and music.
He was going in circles, and there was no way he would be able to forget Yunho.
Jaejoong found himself crying even harder, sobbing louder and harder than he had ever since Yunho had left. He tried to push out negative thoughts, but there was a pervading thought that refused to leave his mind.
While he was busy clinging to his memories, Yunho had probably already moved on.
The idea of that broke his heart even further, and he couldn’t find the strength in his legs to stand up. He was too busy, being broken and crumpled on the floor, lacking in all will to get up and move on. His heart wouldn’t let him forget.
His phone began to ring, and Jaejoong stood on shaky legs. He made his way to the dresser slowly and answered, trying his best to hide the fact that he’d been sobbing just seconds earlier.
“What -“
“Yunho called.”
Jaejoong dropped the phone, the words resounding in his ears. It brought new joy to his pained heart and lightly relieved the constricting tightness of his chest. He quickly bent down and stammered, “What did he say?”
“Jaejoong, don’t do anything stupid -“
“I’m not.” Jaejoong replied as he balanced his phone and began to pack things into a bag. He threw whichever he got his hands on - not caring about looking fashionable, presentable or anything, he just needed the essentials.
He’d never been impulsive, a trait he and Yunho shared, but it was like a new side of himself was coming out at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t been forgotten and that in the chaotic aftermath of their breakup there was still something there.
Perhaps, there was still hope for them both.
Jaejoong didn’t bother to hear the rest of Yoochun’s lengthy backstory, what mattered most was that Yunho had called.
He didn’t care if that was a stupid and small insignificant string of hope to hold onto, but it was all he had. If for months Yunho had worried that he’d never cared enough about the two of them that he hadn’t loved him at all, Jaejoong would prove him wrong.
“Yoochun, I’m going home.”
“Home? Where have you been? I thought you went straight -“
“I’m going to look for him.”
Jaejoong walked past his studio and caught sight of something as he passed by the open door. He rushed inside and fumbled through the mess. He retrieved the papers, stuck them inside and envelope and made his way out of his apartment, almost forgetting to lock the door in his rush.
Holding the envelope close to his chest, he hailed a taxi.
No place was home without Yunho.
< >
Author’s Note: I’ve used up a lot of my energy on angst, and I think, just maybe I’ve gotten past all the sadness. I wanted to get this out as soon as possible, anything to help me move on from the angst phase I’ve been going through. I’ve finally managed to end this on an optimistic point, but I can’t guarantee that Yunho & Jaejoong shall be meeting up in the next chapter. There are still other issues to be worked out, and a few of them involve other people. I hope this lived up to expectations, especially since there was quite a long wait. I broke my creative block with this stories due to two things, first, I started playing the piano again in my free time and the song Even If I Try to Go Crazy by Alex of Clazziquai. If you look at the English lyrics, it goes really well with this chapter in terms of meaning (in fact, some of the lines in the story are similar to lyrics from the song, so a disclaimer on that I suppose, just in case) and it helped me so much in finding the inspiration to write this story again. I do hope that you guys leave a comment telling me about how you feel about this. There are more flashbacks to follow, one of them being as to how Yunho & Jaejoong met. I might make the next chapter entirely composed of flashbacks. I’m not sure yet. Anyway, about my other stories, I shall be working on the next chapter of A Learning Process and the sequel to Suppress because I’ve been dying to write for the two of them. I have so many ideas for both, and I just need the time to sit down and write them! I’m so busy lately, so replies to comments will be late. Anyway, happy birthday to lovely Kwon Ji Yong and an early happy anniversary to the group that is my great love of KPOP, Big Bang. As usual guys, thank you for reading, and I’d love to hear what you guys think of the chapter! ♥