Someday [8]
Title: Someday
Beta: ohmahgodsun
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor, Drama
Summary: They were two souls meant to teach each other about how to love, and most importantly, how to live.
Birthday story for freakybiatch ♥
“Wake up.”
Jaejoong’s eyes fluttered open. He jolted back when he saw a dark brown pair staring right back at him. It took him a few seconds to recognize who was beside his bed, and when he recognized the person to be Yunho, he frowned in disapproval.
“What are you doing here?” Jaejoong asked, with a slight scowl on his face.
Yunho tilted his head, “You told me that you’d call if you weren’t busy, but you never called me…so I took it upon myself to find you instead. Junsu called me and said you weren’t busy.”
Jaejoong bit his lip and cursed at Junsu mentally. He didn’t know what to tell Yunho so he stared at him blankly. He hadn’t gone back to school after his confrontation with his mother and his letter of withdrawal was already finished and waiting to be sent to his university’s admissions office.
“Is something wrong?”
Yunho’s question jerked him back into the situation at hand and he opened his mouth to say something. But nothing came to mind. He could see the worry etched onto Yunho’s handsome features, and Jaejoong felt his guilt rise back up and eat at him for worrying Yunho once again.
“…Nothing, I’m just tired,” Jaejoong replied with a slight smile as he settled back down onto bed and held his pillow close to his body, “I’m sorry I didn’t call.”
Yunho studied Jaejoong for a few seconds before he let go of the issue and crawled into bed with Jaejoong. They barely fit in the small single person bed, but Jaejoong didn’t complain and inched closer to Yunho. As soon as they were a tangled mess of limbs, Jaejoong kissed Yunho.
“I’m free today.” he murmured softly as his finger trailed the slight growth of hair on Yunho’s jawline, “We can go out.”
“I won’t be a burden?” Yunho asked lightly as he carded his hand slowly through Jaejoong’s hair, “You won’t mind appearing in public with shabby old me?”
Jaejoong laughed and buried his face into Yunho’s chest, “What the hell are you talking about? You know I never mind going out with you in public.”
“So, we can have our date today then?”
“Yeah, why not?” Jaejoong smiled up at Yunho, forgetting his problems as soon as he saw Yunho return the smile, “Where do you want to go? We still have to celebrate you getting signed!”
“Oh right. About that, I have something to tell you as well, but that can wait. Hmm…” Yunho’s hand left Jaejoong’s hair and settled at the other man’s waist, “Well, I can think of one way we can celebrate -“
Jaejoong took hold of Yunho’s hand and pulled it away from his waist. He intertwined their fingers and shook his head in amusement, “We can’t do it here. Junsu’s around, isn’t he? He’s busy studying…and the walls are thin
Yunho chuckled, “Fine then.”
“Maybe later though.”
The taller man laughed and kissed Jaejoong’s nose, “Alright. How about…we have some breakfast first at that café nearby and then we figure out what we’re going to do for the rest of the day?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jaejoong said with a smile, “I’ll just go clean up first, okay? I…I just realized that I have morning breath and you’re barely five centimeters away from me.”
Yunho chuckled, “But bunny, it’s sexy -“
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and disentangled himself from Yunho gracelessly. He reached into his closet to get some clothes and when he turned around, Yunho was lying down on his bed with his arms stretched out.
“I see you’ve made yourself at home,” Jaejoong said fondly. “You can sleep while you wait for me.”
“I don’t like sleeping alone. Come join me…naked preferably but -“
Jaejoong shook his head and tossed a shirt he’d picked up off the floor at Yunho’s face as he walked out of his room and shut the door quietly behind him. He made his way to the bathroom, but on his way, he met Junsu in the corridor.
“Are you mad at me?” Junsu asked.
“No…I’m not,” Jaejoong said honestly. He averted his eyes and stared down at the floor to avoid Junsu’s gaze, “I know I should…but -“
“You know I hate meddling…but Jaejoong…he needs to know. You need him, okay? It’s not good for you to keep something like this from him.”
Jaejoong sighed, “I know…I’ll tell him today. I don’t know what he’s going to say, or what I’m going to do after…I haven’t even talked to my mom since…God, I really don’t know what to do -“
“Which is why you need as much help and support as you can get,” Junsu urged as he reached forward to hug Jaejoong, “You know I’m here for you every step of the way.” He stepped away and looked at Jaejoong, “You’re not troubling anyone Jaejoong…okay?”
While he didn’t exactly feel what Junsu was trying to get him to feel, Jaejoong knew that he couldn’t keep hiding his problems for much longer. He knew that Yunho had a suspicion that something was wrong, but the feeling of guilt that he was bothering Yunho outweighed his need to confide in someone for support.
“Jaejoong, you don’t have to hide anything anymore,” Junsu pressed calmly, being sure not too sound too overbearing, “You’re freer now than you’ve been in years. Yunho can and will help you. You let me in, so you need to let him in as well.”
He looked down and sighed. The seconds passed by and Jaejoong grudgingly accepted the fact that he couldn’t be dishonest any longer. It wasn’t right of him to keep pretending to be okay in front of the man he loved.
Yunho deserved his honesty.
Jaejoong raised his eyes and met Junsu’s comforting gaze. He took a deep breath and replied, “I’ll tell him today.”
Once again, Junsu enveloped him into a tight embrace, and Jaejoong felt more relieved than he had in days. He hugged Junsu back and felt the other man’s comforting aura wash over him.
It was time for him to be brave.
o-o-o
As soon as Jaejoong opened the door, he caught sight of Yunho lying down on his bed and flipping through a photobook of his. Yunho turned his head and Jaejoong stood still, waiting for the former to say something.
“This is really good,” Yunho spoke as he sat up and pointed to a particular picture of a ballerina on stage, “Have you tried pursuing photography? How come I’ve never seen you take any pictures -“
Jaejoong bit his lip, “I had to study, so I dropped it…” he opened his drawer and then pulled out his camera. He set it on his desk and stared at it for a few seconds before he picked it up and turned around to face Yunho.
Before Yunho could say anything, Jaejoong snapped a quick picture of him and smiled brightly. He tilted his head to the side and his smile grew wider, “Maybe it’s time for me to pick it up again?”
Yunho laughed and got up off the bed to approach Jaejoong. He took hold of the camera in the other man’s hands and pulled it away, “You can’t just take pictures of me now. I’m a celebrity.”
Jaejoong laughed and snatched his camera back, “I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that - wannabe.”
Yunho’s mouth fell open, “What? Me? A wannabe -“
Before he could do anything, Jaejoong took another picture of his shocked face and smiled brightly. He kissed Yunho lightly on the lips and placed the strap of his camera around his neck before he reached forward and took hold of the other man’s hand.
“Come on, it might rain. I don’t want the weather to spoil our date.”
Yunho pouted, “I don’t think I want to go on a date with you anymore.”
Jaejoong laughed and took another picture of Yunho.
“Hey! Stop that!”
“You’ll have to catch me first,” Jaejoong taunted with a flirtatious wink before he bolted from the room, Yunho right at his heels.
o-o-o
“I’m not a child,” Yunho insisted as Jaejoong shoved him in the direction of the swing set. He dragged his feet on his way there and just as he was about halfway, he turned around and set his hands on his hips, “I don’t think this is dignified.”
Jaejoong laughed loudly and raised his camera, “Come on! When you’re famous, you’ll have to do ridiculous photo shoots -“
“You’re not even paying me!” Yunho shouted back as he began to make his way back to Jaejoong, “You didn’t even pay for breakfast!” He jogged back to Jaejoong and before the latter could attempt to run away, he crushed their bodies together.
“Let go!”
“You’ve been taking pictures of me and scenery the whole day,” Yunho said as he dragged Jaejoong to the swing, “It’s time that you and I try to take a picture together, and we’re going to take it on that swing.”
Yunho swung Jaejoong around and began to pull him in the direction of the swing set despite his protests. “Bunny, you’ve lost a lot of weight,” he commented as he continued to pull Jaejoong, “Maybe we should have breakfast again?”
“You’re just fat,” Jaejoong whined as he tried to wrench himself out of Yunho’s vice-like grip which only elicited further laughter from his persistent boyfriend, “Let go! Everyone’s looking at us!”
The musician stopped moving, and he laughed. Jaejoong turned his head to look up at Yunho before he swatted his boyfriend’s cheek irritably, “Why are you laughing? I’m right! Everyone is looking at us -“
“Jaejoong, almost everyone here in the park is under the age of ten. I don’t think any of them care about what we’re doing. Maybe their moms might care if we start making out and corrupting their children, but we’re not doing that, so -“
“You’re groping me!”
Yunho squeezed Jaejoong’s ass before he replied teasingly, “But they can’t see that.”
o-o-o
After taking a few more pictures, Jaejoong and Yunho were finally seated on a bench. Yunho was splayed on the bench with his head resting on Jaejoong’s lap, and he was staring up at the sky while Jaejoong played idly with his hair.
They were content and enjoying the silence, but Jaejoong knew he would have to say something soon. He felt Yunho’s eyes focus on his face, and it was that moment that he knew that it was time for him to speak.
“I…have something to say,” Jaejoong began slowly, and he knew that Yunho wasn’t surprised that he had something to confess. He let out a sigh and ran his hand through the softness that was Yunho’s hair before he continued.
“I…I’m going to drop out of school.”
Yunho sat up sharply and he nearly knocked his head against Jaejoong’s. He turned around on the bench and looked at Jaejoong in concern. He reached out and tilted Jaejoong’s chin to face him, “What happened?”
Jaejoong tilted his face away and stared at the ground, “I…it’s just…” he shook his head and sighed, “I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of doing something that I don’t have any passion for. I shouted at my mother…we fought and I just ran away. I wanted to tell you first, but I…”
“But what Jaejoong?” Yunho asked softly as he moved closer and forced Jaejoong to look at him, “Why couldn’t you -“
He stared into Yunho’s eyes, and before Jaejoong knew what he was doing, he’d gotten up out of his seat and started walking away. He heard Yunho shout for him to stop, but all he could think about was getting away. There was no way he could confess what he felt - that would only make things more complicated for them.
He just couldn’t do it.
“Fuck! Jaejoong!”
The park was a blur as Yunho jerked Jaejoong back by the wrist and the latter slammed into Yunho’s body. Yunho immediately held Jaejoong firmly in place, but Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to look at him.
“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong whispered.
“Stop running,” Yunho replied as he shook Jaejoong lightly, “Stop running from me. I…I love you, so just don’t -“
“I…I’m sorry,” Jaejoong stuttered, “I just…I don’t,” his eyes clenched shut, and he held onto Yunho tightly, “I always make everything so much harder for you. I always tell you about my problems, and you always have to deal with the weight of them. I am so ashamed that -“
Yunho held Jaejoong fiercely and forced him to look at him, “You shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Okay?” he made Jaejoong hold his gaze, “I love you, so I’m here for you. Whether it is during good times or bad times, I will be here for you.”
“Yunho -“
“Stop.”
He did not bother to go against Yunho’s simple demand, and Jaejoong fell silent. After a few seconds, Yunho leaned forward and kissed him softly. He did not respond to the kiss, but as soon as Yunho pulled away, he opened his eyes.
“You said you love me, right?”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho unsurely, “I -“
“So…” Yunho cupped Jaejoong’s cheek gently, “You need to trust me when times are hard. You need to trust that I’ll be there for you and you can’t ever think that you’re a burden to me…because you’re not. I’ll stay Jaejoong. I’ll stay for you because you’re a person worth staying with and there will never be a time that I won’t believe that. I love you.”
Jaejoong could feel the tears begin to stream down his cheeks. Yunho smiled at him with a look that was not of pity, but one filled with so much love and understanding that it sent Jaejoong reeling. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Yunho was even real and his and perfect and just so wonderful that he couldn’t breathe as he sobbed harder, too overcome with how much he felt.
Wordlessly, Yunho pulled him into his arms and Jaejoong cried harder - but it wasn’t because he was sad anymore.
He was crying tears of happiness.
o-o-o
They didn’t go home after his small breakdown. After Jaejoong had stopped crying, Yunho had bought ice cream for the two of them at a convenience store and they settled for staying at a nearby park to watch a football match that was going on.
Jaejoong ate his ice cream silently and listened to Yunho ramble about everything and anything. He shut his eyes for a bit, simply content to listen to Yunho speak. If there was one thing that he was sure of - whether Yunho was speaking or singing, his voice was perfect.
“Am I that boring?”
“No! I was just…” Jaejoong trailed off, “I’m -“
Yunho clasped a hand over Jaejoong’s mouth and shook his head, “You don’t have to apologize. Okay? Stop apologizing for mistakes that you haven’t even made.”
Silence fell between them and Yunho eventually moved his hand away. They settled back to eating their ice cream and after a few minutes had passed, Jaejoong finally decided to speak.
“My mom and I got into a fight…” Jaejoong started slowly, “I told her that I didn’t want to keep going anymore. I quit. She hasn’t called me since…and I haven’t called her either. I don’t know what to do.”
Yunho sighed and pulled Jaejoong closer, “You have to talk to her…it’s not good to just let things end like that. I can’t even think what you should say to her, but…do you have any idea of what you want to do instead?”
“…I don’t know,” Jaejoong said softly as he looked away to the setting sun. He let out a small sigh and held Yunho’s hand tightly, “I’m not used to…I’m not used to this. I’m so used for someone else thinking for me that I don’t know what to do now.”
“Why don’t you take up photography? You obviously seem to like it, and -“
Jaejoong shook his head, “I don’t think I’m that good at it.” He looked at Yunho and frowned, “Why?”
“Well I think you’re good at it,” Yunho said with an encouraging smile, “I think you’re good at it, and I don’t care if you’re just going to take a thousand pictures of me looking stupid, but I’ll support you -“
Jaejoong laughed, “Don’t be like that.”
“I’ll retire from my rock star career and -“
“You’re not even famous yet,” Jaejoong teased, “If you retire now, you’re just going to end up working at some gas station -“
“Hey, I worked at a gas station once and let me tell you, I was very popular with all the truck drivers -“
Jaejoong’s phone began to ring and he smiled apologetically at Yunho before he reached into his pocket to get his phone. After seeing that the caller was Junsu, he answered it quickly, “Hello?”
“Jaejoong, your mom is in the hospital.”
o-o-o
He didn’t know what to think when they rushed to the hospital and he didn’t know what to do either. All Jaejoong knew was that he had to see his mother. Before he could enter, the doctor explained what had happened to his mother - she was stressed and hadn’t been eating properly which resulted in her fainting at a meeting.
Throughout the entire explanation, Yunho held his hand tightly. Jaejoong didn’t know how to process the information, but he thanked the doctor anyway. When he saw Junsu, he gave him a quick hug before he pulled Yunho inside the room that the nurses had told him was his mother’s.
He made his way inside, but his mother didn’t even bother to look at him.
She was looking at Yunho.
“Mother -“
Yeonhee turned in her bed and looked out the window. She kept her eyes away from Yunho and refused to look at him, “Get him out of here.”
“Mother -“
“I won’t speak to you while he’s here.”
Jaejoong looked at Yunho helplessly and the latter merely nodded his head in understanding before he quietly slipped out of the room. After Yunho had gone, Jaejoong turned around and looked at his mother.
“That was my boyfriend.”
Yeonhee’s lips formed a thin line and she clasped her hands together tightly. She looked up at the television before she finally turned her eyes to Jaejoong. Before she could say anything, he spoke first.
“I love him and…despite what you think, that’s not going to change,” he said, trying to sound confident in front of her, “If you have nothing good to say to me about him and if you try to persuade me to leave him, I will leave right now -“
“How can you speak to me like this?” Yeonhee questioned, her voice shaking and filled with emotion, “I took care of you! I know what’s best for you! I love you!”
Jaejoong shook his head sadly, “All those years we spent…lying to each other weren’t healthy. All the years of hiding what I truly felt, and all the years you spent dictating my life…” he swallowed hard and looked at his mother, “It’s not love mother.”
He smiled sadly at her and bowed his head, “…I’ll be back in a few hours. I know I’m just bringing you more stress.”
As soon as Jaejoong exited the room, he let out a deep sigh and ran his hands through his hair. Junsu greeted him immediately and Jaejoong hugged his roommate tightly before pulling away.
“I’m sorry, I know you have to study -“
Junsu shook his head, “It’s okay, trust me.”
“But -“
“Jaejoong, I’ll be fine,” Junsu insisted before he glanced down the corridor. He turned his eyes back to Jaejoong, “Yunho said he’d get you something to eat. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“I’m tired,” Jaejoong muttered with an uneasy smile. He ran a hand through his hair again and sighed, “You should go home though. I’ll stay here. I want you to go home, okay? You need to study.”
“Jaejoong -“
“No, go home. Okay?”
Junsu frowned, “Fine, but you better come home later okay? You can’t stay here overnight. It won’t be good for you.”
Jaejoong nodded, “Okay, I promise.”
They went down the elevator together and Jaejoong hugged Junsu again tightly before they parted. Jaejoong made his way to the cafeteria and he noticed Changmin was sitting with Yunho at one of the tables. He walked a bit faster and Changmin straightened up slightly when he saw Jaejoong.
“I…I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Jaejoong said with an anxious smile as he sat down next Yunho, “Why are you here? We just got here -“
“Changmin’s sister works here,” Yunho explained with a small smile, “He’s here to visit her because it’s her birthday, so he dropped off her gift since she has the unfortunate duty of working today,” he looked at Jaejoong, “Will we be staying the night here, or will we -“
Jaejoong shook his head, “I think…I think we should go home first,” he said slowly as he turned his eyes away from Changmin, “I don’t think it’s good if I try to talk to my mother right now…”
Yunho stood up and placed his hand on the small of Jaejoong’s back, “Alright then. We can go to my place, it’s closer.” He looked at Changmin, “I’ll talk to you later…alright? I’ll call you.”
Changmin nodded, “Bye guys.”
They walked to Yunho’s apartment in silence, but after they’d walked a few blocks, Jaejoong turned to Yunho with a sad smile, “I’m -“
“It’s not your fault,” Yunho replied, “It’s okay. Alright? I can’t honestly say I wanted her to like me anyway. I don’t approve of the way she’s…” he stopped speaking and looked at Jaejoong, “Don’t worry about it.”
He turned and hugged Jaejoong tightly. Jaejoong didn’t have the heart to cry, so he simply rested against Yunho and accepted as much comfort as the other could give him. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, but right now, he knew that Yunho made everything better.
o-o-o
Jaejoong woke up in the middle of the night, tangled in Yunho’s bed sheets and unusually alone. He blinked his eyes groggily before he stepped out of bed carefully to look for Yunho. Light peeked through the door that was left ajar, but just as Jaejoong was about to open it, he heard Yunho speaking to someone.
He opened the door slowly, making sure that it would not creak but opening it wide enough so that he could hear the conversation.
“What do you mean you don’t want to go?”
Jaejoong frowned - why did Changmin sound so upset? He wanted to step out, but he had a feeling that his presence would not help with anything.
“…Jaejoong, he needs me, okay?”
“What? Have you even thought about yourself Yunho? I know you love him, but we’ve all been dreaming about this opportunity for years now! This label wants us Yunho, and if it means starting off in Japan, is that really so bad? Can’t you remember all those times we were rejected -”
Yunho sighed loudly, “I...I don’t think I can just leave Jaejoong. He needs me, and I can’t just…I can’t just go to Japan and leave him behind.”
“It’s not going to look good for us if we reject their help! It’s either we go to Japan, or we get dropped Yunho. You can’t be like this! Did you even talk to him about it? How -“
“I want to, but things are really difficult right now and I don’t want to pressure him. I don’t want it be like I’m blackmailing him to come with me -“
Jaejoong jerked back from the door and fell to the ground. His fall made a loud noise, and he quickly stood up, but just as he was about to get to bed, the door opened and Yunho stepped inside.
“Jaejoong? What happened -“
He turned around quickly and Jaejoong didn’t know what to say. He licked his lips and looked down at the ground before he turned his eyes back to Yunho.
“I’m sorry, I just fell. I…I needed to know where you were.”
A look of worry crossed Yunho’s face, and he shook his head before he walked forward and took Jaejoong into his arms. He held Jaejoong tightly and embraced him.
“Don’t worry Jaejoong. I’ll always be here, I promise.”
Jaejoong buried his face into Yunho’s shoulder - although those words were once words of comfort, now they felt like a stab to the heart. The all too familiar feeling of guilt rose to his throat, but he didn’t dare to speak about what he had just heard.
He didn’t know how he to tell Yunho to leave him behind.
< >
Author’s Note: ANGST MONSTER. DDD: …the next chapter’s angsty & drama-filled too. OTL Then the chapter after that is the end! : O Hopefully I can update something sometime this week~ :) Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥
Beta: ohmahgodsun
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Humor, Drama
Summary: They were two souls meant to teach each other about how to love, and most importantly, how to live.
Birthday story for freakybiatch ♥
“Wake up.”
Jaejoong’s eyes fluttered open. He jolted back when he saw a dark brown pair staring right back at him. It took him a few seconds to recognize who was beside his bed, and when he recognized the person to be Yunho, he frowned in disapproval.
“What are you doing here?” Jaejoong asked, with a slight scowl on his face.
Yunho tilted his head, “You told me that you’d call if you weren’t busy, but you never called me…so I took it upon myself to find you instead. Junsu called me and said you weren’t busy.”
Jaejoong bit his lip and cursed at Junsu mentally. He didn’t know what to tell Yunho so he stared at him blankly. He hadn’t gone back to school after his confrontation with his mother and his letter of withdrawal was already finished and waiting to be sent to his university’s admissions office.
“Is something wrong?”
Yunho’s question jerked him back into the situation at hand and he opened his mouth to say something. But nothing came to mind. He could see the worry etched onto Yunho’s handsome features, and Jaejoong felt his guilt rise back up and eat at him for worrying Yunho once again.
“…Nothing, I’m just tired,” Jaejoong replied with a slight smile as he settled back down onto bed and held his pillow close to his body, “I’m sorry I didn’t call.”
Yunho studied Jaejoong for a few seconds before he let go of the issue and crawled into bed with Jaejoong. They barely fit in the small single person bed, but Jaejoong didn’t complain and inched closer to Yunho. As soon as they were a tangled mess of limbs, Jaejoong kissed Yunho.
“I’m free today.” he murmured softly as his finger trailed the slight growth of hair on Yunho’s jawline, “We can go out.”
“I won’t be a burden?” Yunho asked lightly as he carded his hand slowly through Jaejoong’s hair, “You won’t mind appearing in public with shabby old me?”
Jaejoong laughed and buried his face into Yunho’s chest, “What the hell are you talking about? You know I never mind going out with you in public.”
“So, we can have our date today then?”
“Yeah, why not?” Jaejoong smiled up at Yunho, forgetting his problems as soon as he saw Yunho return the smile, “Where do you want to go? We still have to celebrate you getting signed!”
“Oh right. About that, I have something to tell you as well, but that can wait. Hmm…” Yunho’s hand left Jaejoong’s hair and settled at the other man’s waist, “Well, I can think of one way we can celebrate -“
Jaejoong took hold of Yunho’s hand and pulled it away from his waist. He intertwined their fingers and shook his head in amusement, “We can’t do it here. Junsu’s around, isn’t he? He’s busy studying…and the walls are thin
Yunho chuckled, “Fine then.”
“Maybe later though.”
The taller man laughed and kissed Jaejoong’s nose, “Alright. How about…we have some breakfast first at that café nearby and then we figure out what we’re going to do for the rest of the day?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jaejoong said with a smile, “I’ll just go clean up first, okay? I…I just realized that I have morning breath and you’re barely five centimeters away from me.”
Yunho chuckled, “But bunny, it’s sexy -“
Jaejoong rolled his eyes and disentangled himself from Yunho gracelessly. He reached into his closet to get some clothes and when he turned around, Yunho was lying down on his bed with his arms stretched out.
“I see you’ve made yourself at home,” Jaejoong said fondly. “You can sleep while you wait for me.”
“I don’t like sleeping alone. Come join me…naked preferably but -“
Jaejoong shook his head and tossed a shirt he’d picked up off the floor at Yunho’s face as he walked out of his room and shut the door quietly behind him. He made his way to the bathroom, but on his way, he met Junsu in the corridor.
“Are you mad at me?” Junsu asked.
“No…I’m not,” Jaejoong said honestly. He averted his eyes and stared down at the floor to avoid Junsu’s gaze, “I know I should…but -“
“You know I hate meddling…but Jaejoong…he needs to know. You need him, okay? It’s not good for you to keep something like this from him.”
Jaejoong sighed, “I know…I’ll tell him today. I don’t know what he’s going to say, or what I’m going to do after…I haven’t even talked to my mom since…God, I really don’t know what to do -“
“Which is why you need as much help and support as you can get,” Junsu urged as he reached forward to hug Jaejoong, “You know I’m here for you every step of the way.” He stepped away and looked at Jaejoong, “You’re not troubling anyone Jaejoong…okay?”
While he didn’t exactly feel what Junsu was trying to get him to feel, Jaejoong knew that he couldn’t keep hiding his problems for much longer. He knew that Yunho had a suspicion that something was wrong, but the feeling of guilt that he was bothering Yunho outweighed his need to confide in someone for support.
“Jaejoong, you don’t have to hide anything anymore,” Junsu pressed calmly, being sure not too sound too overbearing, “You’re freer now than you’ve been in years. Yunho can and will help you. You let me in, so you need to let him in as well.”
He looked down and sighed. The seconds passed by and Jaejoong grudgingly accepted the fact that he couldn’t be dishonest any longer. It wasn’t right of him to keep pretending to be okay in front of the man he loved.
Yunho deserved his honesty.
Jaejoong raised his eyes and met Junsu’s comforting gaze. He took a deep breath and replied, “I’ll tell him today.”
Once again, Junsu enveloped him into a tight embrace, and Jaejoong felt more relieved than he had in days. He hugged Junsu back and felt the other man’s comforting aura wash over him.
It was time for him to be brave.
o-o-o
As soon as Jaejoong opened the door, he caught sight of Yunho lying down on his bed and flipping through a photobook of his. Yunho turned his head and Jaejoong stood still, waiting for the former to say something.
“This is really good,” Yunho spoke as he sat up and pointed to a particular picture of a ballerina on stage, “Have you tried pursuing photography? How come I’ve never seen you take any pictures -“
Jaejoong bit his lip, “I had to study, so I dropped it…” he opened his drawer and then pulled out his camera. He set it on his desk and stared at it for a few seconds before he picked it up and turned around to face Yunho.
Before Yunho could say anything, Jaejoong snapped a quick picture of him and smiled brightly. He tilted his head to the side and his smile grew wider, “Maybe it’s time for me to pick it up again?”
Yunho laughed and got up off the bed to approach Jaejoong. He took hold of the camera in the other man’s hands and pulled it away, “You can’t just take pictures of me now. I’m a celebrity.”
Jaejoong laughed and snatched his camera back, “I think we’ll have to agree to disagree on that - wannabe.”
Yunho’s mouth fell open, “What? Me? A wannabe -“
Before he could do anything, Jaejoong took another picture of his shocked face and smiled brightly. He kissed Yunho lightly on the lips and placed the strap of his camera around his neck before he reached forward and took hold of the other man’s hand.
“Come on, it might rain. I don’t want the weather to spoil our date.”
Yunho pouted, “I don’t think I want to go on a date with you anymore.”
Jaejoong laughed and took another picture of Yunho.
“Hey! Stop that!”
“You’ll have to catch me first,” Jaejoong taunted with a flirtatious wink before he bolted from the room, Yunho right at his heels.
o-o-o
“I’m not a child,” Yunho insisted as Jaejoong shoved him in the direction of the swing set. He dragged his feet on his way there and just as he was about halfway, he turned around and set his hands on his hips, “I don’t think this is dignified.”
Jaejoong laughed loudly and raised his camera, “Come on! When you’re famous, you’ll have to do ridiculous photo shoots -“
“You’re not even paying me!” Yunho shouted back as he began to make his way back to Jaejoong, “You didn’t even pay for breakfast!” He jogged back to Jaejoong and before the latter could attempt to run away, he crushed their bodies together.
“Let go!”
“You’ve been taking pictures of me and scenery the whole day,” Yunho said as he dragged Jaejoong to the swing, “It’s time that you and I try to take a picture together, and we’re going to take it on that swing.”
Yunho swung Jaejoong around and began to pull him in the direction of the swing set despite his protests. “Bunny, you’ve lost a lot of weight,” he commented as he continued to pull Jaejoong, “Maybe we should have breakfast again?”
“You’re just fat,” Jaejoong whined as he tried to wrench himself out of Yunho’s vice-like grip which only elicited further laughter from his persistent boyfriend, “Let go! Everyone’s looking at us!”
The musician stopped moving, and he laughed. Jaejoong turned his head to look up at Yunho before he swatted his boyfriend’s cheek irritably, “Why are you laughing? I’m right! Everyone is looking at us -“
“Jaejoong, almost everyone here in the park is under the age of ten. I don’t think any of them care about what we’re doing. Maybe their moms might care if we start making out and corrupting their children, but we’re not doing that, so -“
“You’re groping me!”
Yunho squeezed Jaejoong’s ass before he replied teasingly, “But they can’t see that.”
o-o-o
After taking a few more pictures, Jaejoong and Yunho were finally seated on a bench. Yunho was splayed on the bench with his head resting on Jaejoong’s lap, and he was staring up at the sky while Jaejoong played idly with his hair.
They were content and enjoying the silence, but Jaejoong knew he would have to say something soon. He felt Yunho’s eyes focus on his face, and it was that moment that he knew that it was time for him to speak.
“I…have something to say,” Jaejoong began slowly, and he knew that Yunho wasn’t surprised that he had something to confess. He let out a sigh and ran his hand through the softness that was Yunho’s hair before he continued.
“I…I’m going to drop out of school.”
Yunho sat up sharply and he nearly knocked his head against Jaejoong’s. He turned around on the bench and looked at Jaejoong in concern. He reached out and tilted Jaejoong’s chin to face him, “What happened?”
Jaejoong tilted his face away and stared at the ground, “I…it’s just…” he shook his head and sighed, “I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of doing something that I don’t have any passion for. I shouted at my mother…we fought and I just ran away. I wanted to tell you first, but I…”
“But what Jaejoong?” Yunho asked softly as he moved closer and forced Jaejoong to look at him, “Why couldn’t you -“
He stared into Yunho’s eyes, and before Jaejoong knew what he was doing, he’d gotten up out of his seat and started walking away. He heard Yunho shout for him to stop, but all he could think about was getting away. There was no way he could confess what he felt - that would only make things more complicated for them.
He just couldn’t do it.
“Fuck! Jaejoong!”
The park was a blur as Yunho jerked Jaejoong back by the wrist and the latter slammed into Yunho’s body. Yunho immediately held Jaejoong firmly in place, but Jaejoong couldn’t bring himself to look at him.
“I’m sorry,” Jaejoong whispered.
“Stop running,” Yunho replied as he shook Jaejoong lightly, “Stop running from me. I…I love you, so just don’t -“
“I…I’m sorry,” Jaejoong stuttered, “I just…I don’t,” his eyes clenched shut, and he held onto Yunho tightly, “I always make everything so much harder for you. I always tell you about my problems, and you always have to deal with the weight of them. I am so ashamed that -“
Yunho held Jaejoong fiercely and forced him to look at him, “You shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Okay?” he made Jaejoong hold his gaze, “I love you, so I’m here for you. Whether it is during good times or bad times, I will be here for you.”
“Yunho -“
“Stop.”
He did not bother to go against Yunho’s simple demand, and Jaejoong fell silent. After a few seconds, Yunho leaned forward and kissed him softly. He did not respond to the kiss, but as soon as Yunho pulled away, he opened his eyes.
“You said you love me, right?”
Jaejoong looked up at Yunho unsurely, “I -“
“So…” Yunho cupped Jaejoong’s cheek gently, “You need to trust me when times are hard. You need to trust that I’ll be there for you and you can’t ever think that you’re a burden to me…because you’re not. I’ll stay Jaejoong. I’ll stay for you because you’re a person worth staying with and there will never be a time that I won’t believe that. I love you.”
Jaejoong could feel the tears begin to stream down his cheeks. Yunho smiled at him with a look that was not of pity, but one filled with so much love and understanding that it sent Jaejoong reeling. He couldn’t even begin to comprehend how Yunho was even real and his and perfect and just so wonderful that he couldn’t breathe as he sobbed harder, too overcome with how much he felt.
Wordlessly, Yunho pulled him into his arms and Jaejoong cried harder - but it wasn’t because he was sad anymore.
He was crying tears of happiness.
o-o-o
They didn’t go home after his small breakdown. After Jaejoong had stopped crying, Yunho had bought ice cream for the two of them at a convenience store and they settled for staying at a nearby park to watch a football match that was going on.
Jaejoong ate his ice cream silently and listened to Yunho ramble about everything and anything. He shut his eyes for a bit, simply content to listen to Yunho speak. If there was one thing that he was sure of - whether Yunho was speaking or singing, his voice was perfect.
“Am I that boring?”
“No! I was just…” Jaejoong trailed off, “I’m -“
Yunho clasped a hand over Jaejoong’s mouth and shook his head, “You don’t have to apologize. Okay? Stop apologizing for mistakes that you haven’t even made.”
Silence fell between them and Yunho eventually moved his hand away. They settled back to eating their ice cream and after a few minutes had passed, Jaejoong finally decided to speak.
“My mom and I got into a fight…” Jaejoong started slowly, “I told her that I didn’t want to keep going anymore. I quit. She hasn’t called me since…and I haven’t called her either. I don’t know what to do.”
Yunho sighed and pulled Jaejoong closer, “You have to talk to her…it’s not good to just let things end like that. I can’t even think what you should say to her, but…do you have any idea of what you want to do instead?”
“…I don’t know,” Jaejoong said softly as he looked away to the setting sun. He let out a small sigh and held Yunho’s hand tightly, “I’m not used to…I’m not used to this. I’m so used for someone else thinking for me that I don’t know what to do now.”
“Why don’t you take up photography? You obviously seem to like it, and -“
Jaejoong shook his head, “I don’t think I’m that good at it.” He looked at Yunho and frowned, “Why?”
“Well I think you’re good at it,” Yunho said with an encouraging smile, “I think you’re good at it, and I don’t care if you’re just going to take a thousand pictures of me looking stupid, but I’ll support you -“
Jaejoong laughed, “Don’t be like that.”
“I’ll retire from my rock star career and -“
“You’re not even famous yet,” Jaejoong teased, “If you retire now, you’re just going to end up working at some gas station -“
“Hey, I worked at a gas station once and let me tell you, I was very popular with all the truck drivers -“
Jaejoong’s phone began to ring and he smiled apologetically at Yunho before he reached into his pocket to get his phone. After seeing that the caller was Junsu, he answered it quickly, “Hello?”
“Jaejoong, your mom is in the hospital.”
o-o-o
He didn’t know what to think when they rushed to the hospital and he didn’t know what to do either. All Jaejoong knew was that he had to see his mother. Before he could enter, the doctor explained what had happened to his mother - she was stressed and hadn’t been eating properly which resulted in her fainting at a meeting.
Throughout the entire explanation, Yunho held his hand tightly. Jaejoong didn’t know how to process the information, but he thanked the doctor anyway. When he saw Junsu, he gave him a quick hug before he pulled Yunho inside the room that the nurses had told him was his mother’s.
He made his way inside, but his mother didn’t even bother to look at him.
She was looking at Yunho.
“Mother -“
Yeonhee turned in her bed and looked out the window. She kept her eyes away from Yunho and refused to look at him, “Get him out of here.”
“Mother -“
“I won’t speak to you while he’s here.”
Jaejoong looked at Yunho helplessly and the latter merely nodded his head in understanding before he quietly slipped out of the room. After Yunho had gone, Jaejoong turned around and looked at his mother.
“That was my boyfriend.”
Yeonhee’s lips formed a thin line and she clasped her hands together tightly. She looked up at the television before she finally turned her eyes to Jaejoong. Before she could say anything, he spoke first.
“I love him and…despite what you think, that’s not going to change,” he said, trying to sound confident in front of her, “If you have nothing good to say to me about him and if you try to persuade me to leave him, I will leave right now -“
“How can you speak to me like this?” Yeonhee questioned, her voice shaking and filled with emotion, “I took care of you! I know what’s best for you! I love you!”
Jaejoong shook his head sadly, “All those years we spent…lying to each other weren’t healthy. All the years of hiding what I truly felt, and all the years you spent dictating my life…” he swallowed hard and looked at his mother, “It’s not love mother.”
He smiled sadly at her and bowed his head, “…I’ll be back in a few hours. I know I’m just bringing you more stress.”
As soon as Jaejoong exited the room, he let out a deep sigh and ran his hands through his hair. Junsu greeted him immediately and Jaejoong hugged his roommate tightly before pulling away.
“I’m sorry, I know you have to study -“
Junsu shook his head, “It’s okay, trust me.”
“But -“
“Jaejoong, I’ll be fine,” Junsu insisted before he glanced down the corridor. He turned his eyes back to Jaejoong, “Yunho said he’d get you something to eat. How are you feeling? Are you okay?”
“I’m tired,” Jaejoong muttered with an uneasy smile. He ran a hand through his hair again and sighed, “You should go home though. I’ll stay here. I want you to go home, okay? You need to study.”
“Jaejoong -“
“No, go home. Okay?”
Junsu frowned, “Fine, but you better come home later okay? You can’t stay here overnight. It won’t be good for you.”
Jaejoong nodded, “Okay, I promise.”
They went down the elevator together and Jaejoong hugged Junsu again tightly before they parted. Jaejoong made his way to the cafeteria and he noticed Changmin was sitting with Yunho at one of the tables. He walked a bit faster and Changmin straightened up slightly when he saw Jaejoong.
“I…I didn’t think I’d see you here,” Jaejoong said with an anxious smile as he sat down next Yunho, “Why are you here? We just got here -“
“Changmin’s sister works here,” Yunho explained with a small smile, “He’s here to visit her because it’s her birthday, so he dropped off her gift since she has the unfortunate duty of working today,” he looked at Jaejoong, “Will we be staying the night here, or will we -“
Jaejoong shook his head, “I think…I think we should go home first,” he said slowly as he turned his eyes away from Changmin, “I don’t think it’s good if I try to talk to my mother right now…”
Yunho stood up and placed his hand on the small of Jaejoong’s back, “Alright then. We can go to my place, it’s closer.” He looked at Changmin, “I’ll talk to you later…alright? I’ll call you.”
Changmin nodded, “Bye guys.”
They walked to Yunho’s apartment in silence, but after they’d walked a few blocks, Jaejoong turned to Yunho with a sad smile, “I’m -“
“It’s not your fault,” Yunho replied, “It’s okay. Alright? I can’t honestly say I wanted her to like me anyway. I don’t approve of the way she’s…” he stopped speaking and looked at Jaejoong, “Don’t worry about it.”
He turned and hugged Jaejoong tightly. Jaejoong didn’t have the heart to cry, so he simply rested against Yunho and accepted as much comfort as the other could give him. He didn’t know what would happen tomorrow, but right now, he knew that Yunho made everything better.
o-o-o
Jaejoong woke up in the middle of the night, tangled in Yunho’s bed sheets and unusually alone. He blinked his eyes groggily before he stepped out of bed carefully to look for Yunho. Light peeked through the door that was left ajar, but just as Jaejoong was about to open it, he heard Yunho speaking to someone.
He opened the door slowly, making sure that it would not creak but opening it wide enough so that he could hear the conversation.
“What do you mean you don’t want to go?”
Jaejoong frowned - why did Changmin sound so upset? He wanted to step out, but he had a feeling that his presence would not help with anything.
“…Jaejoong, he needs me, okay?”
“What? Have you even thought about yourself Yunho? I know you love him, but we’ve all been dreaming about this opportunity for years now! This label wants us Yunho, and if it means starting off in Japan, is that really so bad? Can’t you remember all those times we were rejected -”
Yunho sighed loudly, “I...I don’t think I can just leave Jaejoong. He needs me, and I can’t just…I can’t just go to Japan and leave him behind.”
“It’s not going to look good for us if we reject their help! It’s either we go to Japan, or we get dropped Yunho. You can’t be like this! Did you even talk to him about it? How -“
“I want to, but things are really difficult right now and I don’t want to pressure him. I don’t want it be like I’m blackmailing him to come with me -“
Jaejoong jerked back from the door and fell to the ground. His fall made a loud noise, and he quickly stood up, but just as he was about to get to bed, the door opened and Yunho stepped inside.
“Jaejoong? What happened -“
He turned around quickly and Jaejoong didn’t know what to say. He licked his lips and looked down at the ground before he turned his eyes back to Yunho.
“I’m sorry, I just fell. I…I needed to know where you were.”
A look of worry crossed Yunho’s face, and he shook his head before he walked forward and took Jaejoong into his arms. He held Jaejoong tightly and embraced him.
“Don’t worry Jaejoong. I’ll always be here, I promise.”
Jaejoong buried his face into Yunho’s shoulder - although those words were once words of comfort, now they felt like a stab to the heart. The all too familiar feeling of guilt rose to his throat, but he didn’t dare to speak about what he had just heard.
He didn’t know how he to tell Yunho to leave him behind.
< >
Author’s Note: ANGST MONSTER. DDD: …the next chapter’s angsty & drama-filled too. OTL Then the chapter after that is the end! : O Hopefully I can update something sometime this week~ :) Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥