thoughts ( Read more... )

I had a dream tonight - first dream of the new year and new decade, that there was such sincerity.

when it started, I was singing - revolving weightlessly with arms outstretched, surrounded by a mosaic, thousands of pieces of glass in shades of blue, green, and purple - like floating inside an eggshell.  no words, I can't remember the melody, just ( Read more... )

so the christmas party I just got back from helped me realize what I’ve been feeling around the typical clean-cut 20 something straight white evangelical male set.

it doesn’t feel like they have to work at all in social situations.

I felt like an idiot through half this christmas party, with my foot in my mouth, stuttering, not looking people in the ( Read more... )

so I think (know) that most of the time when I'm blogging it's more or less a mating call.  it actually did work once, sort of, (sean called my livejournal posts circa march 2007 "intoxicating" and proceeded to hit on me) - meh.  I'm lonely.  I'll deal ( Read more... )

happy tuesday!  just noting more random and fairly constant twitching under the left eye for most of the day.  no discernable relationship to stress or energy level.

I'm going to start journaling potential neurological fuckups ( Read more... )

I really want to be a dad.

several observations ( Read more... )

there is an American Horticultural Therapy Association!  the combination of permaculture and social work may not be so hard afterall =D  even with my strong leaning towards mental health counseling rather than community organizing.  w00t.

so, I hooked up with two guys just now.  however, one (a man with a medical degree who has graduated from three universities) freaked out and asked if he could just watch.  he joined in eventually but then asked us if we didn't feel horrible.  he said it just was so wrong.  we told him no, we don't feel horrible or guilty.  (incidentally the guy ( Read more... )