I just needed to write so I wrote what I was thinking about...
I AM NOT GOING TO CRY! I AM NOT GOING TO CRY! I AM NOT GOING TO CRY!
I say that to myself over and over again, like a mantra that can somehow save me. I want to believe that if I tell myself enough times I might start to actually believe it. I have to. And it does help, eventually. It
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