Comments | link_worshiper: Not Dead. Think I'm Getting Better?

link_worshiper

Not Dead. Think I'm Getting Better?

Apr 03, 2013 22:38

Resurfacing with an update. Things might actually be getting better, though at the moment it is now a waiting game and that is beyond frustrating for me. Long story short, I ran into my green-haired darling at one of our favourite hang outs in Union Square. He averted his eyes at first, but I eventually walked right up to him and asked if we could ( Read more... )

Comments 6

lil_1337 April 4 2013, 07:17:19 UTC

You sound like you are getting stronger and more sure of yourself.

The picture is lovely. I really like the emotions you can see in it.

link_worshiper April 4 2013, 13:56:11 UTC

Or, if anything, better at faking it. It's a lot easier to do this on the internet than in real life, you know? A mutual friend of ours actually fiercely admonished me when I told him that I was tempted to just roll back into the safety of the internet, maybe find a new, really active fandom to immerse myself in and then just not have to worry about real people anymore. But I think that if anything good has come out of this whole ordeal is that I'm finally more aware of the shit that goes on in my brain, why, and what I have to do to manage it. Hopefully in time my darling will come to understand that.

Also, thanks. I drew it on a spare produce chalk board from the Columbus Circle store. Little iffy on some of the tones, but I was starting to run out of paint. I have been listening to a lot of Laura Stevenson and the Cans during thsi whole ordeal, not only because her music is calming, but also because it's super emotional and kind of is in the same place I am. So this.

...also my darling introduced me to her and we've seen her ( ... )

sharona1x2 April 4 2013, 08:25:51 UTC

Pretty picture! I'm glad things went so well when you two saw each other. It's good progress. Just don't obsess over it and get upset if this takes longer than you'd like. Baby steps...

link_worshiper April 4 2013, 13:59:29 UTC

Thanks bro! I'm glad you like it. The right half is a little sloppy so I might go back to it, but I'll let it sit for a bit to decide if maybe I'm just OCD. I guess the most important part is getting the feelings out.

Ahahaha, man, it's like you know I have some kind of fixative personality! You are right that I just should focus on the fact that we saw each other and it was good and also a step forward. I guess baby steps are the best way to make sure it gets fixed right this time, but I have a bad habit of letting other external things affect my perception of what is going on. Like other opinions and such, you know? Or stressing out that maybe he lied about texting or gah, see... I am already doing it XD

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link_worshiper April 4 2013, 14:01:04 UTC

Haha, thanks. Someone told me that confidence is attractive, and though I can't say I'm exactly oozing with that, I feel a bit more sure of myself that I can be frank with him and it'll be okay. And I think he feels better that I'm not some scary person who's just going to yell at him for everything he f ucked up on. As Sharon said, baby steps, right?

NO YOU :P

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link_worshiper April 7 2013, 23:17:54 UTC

Thanks buddy. It's now just a big waiting game, and though I think it was definitely a step in a good direction, the not kn owing and the waiting and all that kind of thing is so horrible. I will never look at those stories where Heero or Duo holds out for the other for millions of years the same way ever again. How TERRIBLE to love someone so much D:

Thanks! Glad yo like :)