Super Junior - { bandfic - Because Everyone Wants a Mini Super Junior Member in their Pockets - 1/3}
title: Super Junior - { bandfic - Because Everyone Wants a Mini Super Junior Member in their Pockets - 1/3}
rating: PG-13
words: 3,067
summary: You are now the proud owner of an EETEUK! In order to expect the top performance from your mini EETEUK unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s leader to his full potential! The EETEUK unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
notes: admit it, we all want mini SuJu in our pockets :DD inspired by Lord of the Rings manuals and this fic i read alonggg time ago.
1/3
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an EETEUK! In order to expect the top performance from your mini EETEUK unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s leader to his full potential! The EETEUK unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All EETEUK units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard EETEUK unit will be wearing black or white skinny jeans, a tshirt, most likely from Commo de Garcons, and white winged sneakers. EETEUK should also come with his iphone 3gs.
Operating
The EETEUK unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
The EETEUK unit possesses many talents and can be used in many capacities at home, or anywhere really.
Leader - The all knowledgeable leader of a 13 ( +2 ) member boyband. Possesses extensive knowledge on how to take care of this group of 3 year olds, making sure everyone goes through their puberty sessions or whatever and that their careers only go until infinity and beyond.
MC - Announcer flakes out on you? Need an experienced talker? EETEUK is the man! The man has some major exposure and experience to MCing on stage, whether it be music shows or the variety shows. Whether it be little boys who can dance accurately to your own song or anything else, EETEUK is one of the people that can make the show worth more watching through his words and actions!
Compatibility with other Units
You will find that the EETEUK unit is pretty compatible with all the Super Junior units.
If the EETEUK unit has prolonged exposure to a KANGIN unit, they will automatically slip into MARRIED COUPLE mode. This obviously does not jeopardize their compatibility, however it will probably cause anything from happiness to n with useousness to the other SUPER JUNIOR Units.
Depending on the mode most SUPER JUNIOR units are set in, the EETEUK model most likely will slip into 5 YEAR OLD MOOD. This often leads to hilarious actions caught on video, which are most likely turned into gifs to be spread around on Tumblr and Facebook alike.
When the HEECHUL unit is in 83 LINER mode, EETEUK most likely will switch into that mode too, leading to nosebleeds and faintings of fangirls world wide with their dorkiness and sexual teases, most likely while performing Bonamana onstage.
The EETEUK unit is not compatible units HEECHUL and KYUHYUN when they are switched to EVIL or TAKE OVER THE WORLD modes. Prolonged exposure to these will cause Eeteuk to go into WTF WHAT I HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS mode and may cause damage to the EETEUK units internal wiring. SME.LLC will not be responsible should you choose to ignore this warning.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The EETEUK unit should not be exposed to the driver’s seat of a car, rooms with other wall colors that are not white, HEECHUL/KYUHYUN units as mentioned above and KANGIN units when it is switched into ALCOHOLIC MODE.
Cleaning
EETEUK units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: I haven’t seen EETEUK in days and I can’t find my car! Should I be worried?
A: Seeing as EETEUK isn’t exactly the luckiest person in the world to be near cars, yes. You should probably check up and down your street and look for signs such as dented fire hydrants or scratches on various cars and maybe a few run down pets/people alike. If you are extremely worried however, you might want to call your nearest hospital’s Emergency Room and check up there.
Q: My EETEUK unit has been taking to drinking alcohol lately :[ What should I do??
A: In this case, it would seem that your EETEUK was unintentionally and accidently installed with the KANGIN units Internal wiring. To correct this malfunction, you can either, a) send him to the nearest rehab clinic, b) call up the management with the code #WRONG and follow further instructions, or c) put your EETEUK unit near a KANGIN unit, maybe when the KANGIN unit is in DRUNK mode. That should sober him up a little.
Q: All my EETEUK unit is doing is talking about music and other things I don’t care about! I want him to talk about me! Only me!
A: In case you didn’t read anything above, the EETEUK unit works in the Show Biz industry ( see MC ) and therefore is prone to talk about these things as it is his job and his main interests. EETEUK units dislike vain girls and like people that can understand him.
Final Note
Given the nature of the EETEUK model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 40 years.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an HEECHUL! In order to expect the top performance from your mini HEECHUL unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use this Super Junior member to his full potential! The HEECHUL unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All HEECHUL units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard HEECHUL unit will be wearing skinny jeans or regular blue jeans, a hoodie, most likely Faddy Robot or Colonize, and sneakers. If this tire does not appeal to you, feel free to change him into the Lady HeeHee outfit that is included. The HEECHUL unit also comes with either an iphone 4, or a laptop for internet access as he camwhores quite a lot and his own line of hair products from shampoo to conditioner.
Operating
The HEECHUL unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
The HEECHUL unit possesses many talents and can be used in many capacities at home, or anywhere really.
Drinking Partner - Had a rough day? Need a friend to talk to? Admittedly, HEECHUL isn’t the one most people would talk to but pickers can’t be choosey. Most likely he’ll sit there and drink and listen but you’ll later find out that HEECHUL was only pretending to be listening. But then again, you got all that shit off your chest, shouldn’t you be pleased even if Heechul was sipping soju and fixing his hair in the mirror at the same time. At least he was attempting to listen.
DJ - The HEECHUL unit is also an experienced DJ. Seriously, he should go into Psychology or social services or something, talking to people all the time. Actually if he cared to listen to all your problems. If you ever feel like calling in a song, be prepared to see HEECHUL acting like a hyper monkey onset, usually doing various dances. Funnily enough its his own dance that he messes up the most.
Compatibility with other Units
You will find that the HEECHUL unit is mostly compatible with the HANKYUNG, KIBUM or SIWON units.
Regardless of the modes between BEST FRIENDS mode, MARRIED COUPLE mode, RAPING mode, or JUST PLAIN SLUTTY mode, the HEECHUL model is incredibly compatible with HANKYUNG and you can occasionally find them in the corner of your bathroom having incredibly hot sex or sitting in your liquor cabinet, chatting away.
When the HANKYUNG model is not around however or even when he is, the HEECHUL unit occasionally goes into RAPING and JUST PLAIN SLUTTY MODES, and hangs around the SIWON model quite a lot.
When the HANKYUNG or SIWON models are both not around, HEECHUL hangs around the KIBUM model, when the KIBUM model’s mode isn’t set to BRB ACTING.
The general Heechul model is generally set to JUST PLAIN SLUTTY model but if you do not like this, just switch it up to DORKY and tape it there. You should have no problems after that…we hope.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The HEECHUL unit should be exposed to a computer/phone/internet at most times, much like the KYUHYUN model as they are known to surf the net more so than most of the others. Do not expose the HEECHUL to the EETEUK unit when the EETEUK unit is in MOTHER HEN MODE, annoying people and things ( you will know what they are) , girl’s who flash their tummies, girl’s who are ( rare ) more beautiful than the HEECHUL unit himself and fan letters which are sent to him because they will most likely ( occasionally, and by occasionally we mean on air ) be ripped up.
Cleaning
HEECHUL units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: My HEECHUL unit is almost always wearing a scowl or a frown. How do I fix this?
A: Your HEECHUL unit was probably set in PMS mode; even if you switch it to DORKY or any of the other modes, he will most likely be scowling or frowning. But don’t worry, when Heechul wants to smile and be happy , he will, damnit. Maybe he’s just upset at you for giving him a scar near his eye when you took him out of his packaging.
Q: This thing is continuously spewing about his sex life and how he look’s better than me and half the fangirl’s in the world.
A: Three words; Suck it up. No pun intended. The HEECHUL model was naturally born with a face like this and it is only natural that he gets some.
Q: I can’t seem to reach my HEECHUL model by calling or texting. What should I do now?
A: Most likely you have done something to piss HEECHUL off. Most of the time he isn’t that unreasonable, except he is, because he’s HEECHUL. Because this model is particularly unique its mannerisms, it’s quite possible that he just decided on a whim that he deleted your number the very first time you ignored his text to bring cat nip home. Its just the way he works; if he wants to talk to you he will but don’t expect to get his number again.
Final Note
Given the nature of the HEECHUL model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 80 years because HEECHUL is awesome.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an HANKYUNG! In order to expect the top performance from your mini HANKYUNG unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s Chinaman to his full potential! The HANKYUNG unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All HANKYUNg units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard HANKYUNG unit will be wearing any one of the variations of the sleek suits from Sorry Sorry promotions. He may also come with a Lipstain colonzie tshirt, black rimmed glasses, jeans, Dr. Dre’s beats and some huge tongued sneakers- feel free to change him into that. The Hankyung unit should also come with a frying pan of some sort to make Beijing Fried Rice and Dumplings.
Operating
The HANKYUNG unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit. You do not have to speak Chinese…but it is preferred.
Uses
Translator - traveling to China, or Singapore or Taiwan or Hong kong or any other place with a big Chinese population? Bring along Hankyung for a translator and a tour guide :DD
Culture Show - Need something else to attract people other than this face and gorgeously hot body? Call up Hankyung to before native dances from China? A bigger crowd pleaser would be popping, robotic dances or any dances for that matter, especially in black leather or something sleeveless.
Compatibility with other Units
The HANKYUNG unit is most compatible with units HEECHUL, SIWON, and as of late, HENRY and ZHOU Mi.
The typical HANKYUNG unit is set to LAIDBACK but when in contact with the HEECHUL unit, he will go into MARRIED COUPLE mode. He is probably one of the only units immune when the HEECHUL unit goes into RAPING, ABUSE or INSANE modes.
When in China, HANKYUNG’s mode changes into BROHOES when SIWON feels like he is being exempted from the HEECHUL units wrath . The Hankyung model gets along quite well with the SIWON model.
When exposed to the ZHOU MI unit, the HANKYUNG model changes into COMPETITVE . He tends to do that when Zhou Mi expresses that his legs are longer and that he is better in Chinese than his gege.
HANKYUNG’s mode also changes to PIMP and DADDY when he realizes how cute Henry’s cheeks are and how not cute when he realizes Henry has been stealing his underwear.
Other Warnings/Precautions
Do not expose your HANKYUNG unit to extreme working conditions, lawyers, an extensive amount of too much Korean, junk food, Henry when he steals undies, milk shake places, China (according to Heechul).
Cleaning
HANKYUNG units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water, but occasionally may be allowed to be cleaned with HEECHUL because HEECHUL is a good little boy because he brings phones and cameras in to take pictures while they clean.
FAQ
Q: I have no idea what my HANKYUNG unit is saying??!
A: Simple, if its not Korean, its Chinese. …Or it could be a mix of both. But isn’t that accent just gorgeous?
Q: Um, instead of the frying pan, my HANKYUNG unit came with a HEECHUL unit.
A: We give you our upmost apologies; that seems to happen a lot with our HANKYUNG units, we will speak to our suppliers. If you are truly concerned, please call up our hot line to exchange. But why would you? Who in their right mind who exchange HEECHUL for a frying pan? You sick person, to tear apart a loving couple.
Q: I’m very annoyed by that SOLO mode on my Hankyung model. Every time I switch it to SJ15 , it switches back.
A: While it may seem like a company error, we can assure you it is not. Every model is examined to make sure the modes are permanent unless you change it yourselves. If you want to look at a moping, sick , sad HANKYUNG unit every day , all we have to say is that the HANKYUNG model can also automatically switch into LAWSUIT model. However if you insist, you can switch it to SJ15 and tape it to ensure its permanence, but beware the day the HEECHUL model and the SUN LE model comes hacking down your door with a mask and an ax.
Final Note
Given the nature of the HANKYUNG model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 50 years.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an YESUNG! In order to expect the top performance from your mini YESUNG unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s turtle master to his full potential! The YESUNG unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All YESUNG units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard YESUNG unit will be wearing a polo shirt, jeans and adidas sneakers. YESUNG units also come with their choice of each of YESUNG’s tortoises.^^
Operating
The YESUNG unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
Does your philitrum itch? Is it feeling cold? Ask Yesung to come and touch and for free of charge, any time of the time. Boy does that sound perverted. Oh well.
Zoo keeper - need someone to babysit your turtles? Admittedly it will bore his out of his brains why would you get three after the first one gets bored? They must entertain a man somehow.
Compatibility with other Units
The YESUNG unit is pretty compatible with most units, mostly with the KYUHYUN, RYEOWOOK, and SIWON units.
When in contact with KYUHYUN and RYEOWOOK, he will obviously be COMPETITIVE with but they all match along pretty well.
Unsurprisingly as they used to room together, YESUNG and RYEOWOOK are frequently LOVEY DOVEY even when YESUNG is being a WEIRDO.
On the occasion that RYEOWOOK is in China or Taiwan and SIWON is filming for some CF in Korea, the two will be CHEATING.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The YESUNG unit should not be exposed to boredom, cigarettes, pesticides that damage turtle/tortoise eggs, sore throats, places where there are no Clouds, and programs where they edit out all his talking parts.
Cleaning
YESUNG units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: My Yesung unit is constantly self pitying himself and whining about how he doesn’t get enough attention.
A: Step 1: Buy a video camera and a tripod. Step 2: Set up camera and tripod. Step 3: Turn it on and let the man talk as much as he wants, edit, record and done :DD
Q: It’s been 5 years and he still wears his glasses upside down.
A: Maybe you could ask him very nicely to put his glasses on the right way like normal people. Or you could you just switch his mode to NORMAL but then it wouldn’t be very fun now, would it? Nothing is more fun then waking up in the middle of the night to find a YESUNG unit perched on your philitrum.
Final Note
Given the nature of the YESUNG model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 40 years.
rating: PG-13
words: 3,067
summary: You are now the proud owner of an EETEUK! In order to expect the top performance from your mini EETEUK unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s leader to his full potential! The EETEUK unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
notes: admit it, we all want mini SuJu in our pockets :DD inspired by Lord of the Rings manuals and this fic i read alonggg time ago.
1/3
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an EETEUK! In order to expect the top performance from your mini EETEUK unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s leader to his full potential! The EETEUK unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All EETEUK units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard EETEUK unit will be wearing black or white skinny jeans, a tshirt, most likely from Commo de Garcons, and white winged sneakers. EETEUK should also come with his iphone 3gs.
Operating
The EETEUK unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
The EETEUK unit possesses many talents and can be used in many capacities at home, or anywhere really.
Leader - The all knowledgeable leader of a 13 ( +2 ) member boyband. Possesses extensive knowledge on how to take care of this group of 3 year olds, making sure everyone goes through their puberty sessions or whatever and that their careers only go until infinity and beyond.
MC - Announcer flakes out on you? Need an experienced talker? EETEUK is the man! The man has some major exposure and experience to MCing on stage, whether it be music shows or the variety shows. Whether it be little boys who can dance accurately to your own song or anything else, EETEUK is one of the people that can make the show worth more watching through his words and actions!
Compatibility with other Units
You will find that the EETEUK unit is pretty compatible with all the Super Junior units.
If the EETEUK unit has prolonged exposure to a KANGIN unit, they will automatically slip into MARRIED COUPLE mode. This obviously does not jeopardize their compatibility, however it will probably cause anything from happiness to n with useousness to the other SUPER JUNIOR Units.
Depending on the mode most SUPER JUNIOR units are set in, the EETEUK model most likely will slip into 5 YEAR OLD MOOD. This often leads to hilarious actions caught on video, which are most likely turned into gifs to be spread around on Tumblr and Facebook alike.
When the HEECHUL unit is in 83 LINER mode, EETEUK most likely will switch into that mode too, leading to nosebleeds and faintings of fangirls world wide with their dorkiness and sexual teases, most likely while performing Bonamana onstage.
The EETEUK unit is not compatible units HEECHUL and KYUHYUN when they are switched to EVIL or TAKE OVER THE WORLD modes. Prolonged exposure to these will cause Eeteuk to go into WTF WHAT I HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS mode and may cause damage to the EETEUK units internal wiring. SME.LLC will not be responsible should you choose to ignore this warning.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The EETEUK unit should not be exposed to the driver’s seat of a car, rooms with other wall colors that are not white, HEECHUL/KYUHYUN units as mentioned above and KANGIN units when it is switched into ALCOHOLIC MODE.
Cleaning
EETEUK units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: I haven’t seen EETEUK in days and I can’t find my car! Should I be worried?
A: Seeing as EETEUK isn’t exactly the luckiest person in the world to be near cars, yes. You should probably check up and down your street and look for signs such as dented fire hydrants or scratches on various cars and maybe a few run down pets/people alike. If you are extremely worried however, you might want to call your nearest hospital’s Emergency Room and check up there.
Q: My EETEUK unit has been taking to drinking alcohol lately :[ What should I do??
A: In this case, it would seem that your EETEUK was unintentionally and accidently installed with the KANGIN units Internal wiring. To correct this malfunction, you can either, a) send him to the nearest rehab clinic, b) call up the management with the code #WRONG and follow further instructions, or c) put your EETEUK unit near a KANGIN unit, maybe when the KANGIN unit is in DRUNK mode. That should sober him up a little.
Q: All my EETEUK unit is doing is talking about music and other things I don’t care about! I want him to talk about me! Only me!
A: In case you didn’t read anything above, the EETEUK unit works in the Show Biz industry ( see MC ) and therefore is prone to talk about these things as it is his job and his main interests. EETEUK units dislike vain girls and like people that can understand him.
Final Note
Given the nature of the EETEUK model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 40 years.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an HEECHUL! In order to expect the top performance from your mini HEECHUL unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use this Super Junior member to his full potential! The HEECHUL unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All HEECHUL units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard HEECHUL unit will be wearing skinny jeans or regular blue jeans, a hoodie, most likely Faddy Robot or Colonize, and sneakers. If this tire does not appeal to you, feel free to change him into the Lady HeeHee outfit that is included. The HEECHUL unit also comes with either an iphone 4, or a laptop for internet access as he camwhores quite a lot and his own line of hair products from shampoo to conditioner.
Operating
The HEECHUL unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
The HEECHUL unit possesses many talents and can be used in many capacities at home, or anywhere really.
Drinking Partner - Had a rough day? Need a friend to talk to? Admittedly, HEECHUL isn’t the one most people would talk to but pickers can’t be choosey. Most likely he’ll sit there and drink and listen but you’ll later find out that HEECHUL was only pretending to be listening. But then again, you got all that shit off your chest, shouldn’t you be pleased even if Heechul was sipping soju and fixing his hair in the mirror at the same time. At least he was attempting to listen.
DJ - The HEECHUL unit is also an experienced DJ. Seriously, he should go into Psychology or social services or something, talking to people all the time. Actually if he cared to listen to all your problems. If you ever feel like calling in a song, be prepared to see HEECHUL acting like a hyper monkey onset, usually doing various dances. Funnily enough its his own dance that he messes up the most.
Compatibility with other Units
You will find that the HEECHUL unit is mostly compatible with the HANKYUNG, KIBUM or SIWON units.
Regardless of the modes between BEST FRIENDS mode, MARRIED COUPLE mode, RAPING mode, or JUST PLAIN SLUTTY mode, the HEECHUL model is incredibly compatible with HANKYUNG and you can occasionally find them in the corner of your bathroom having incredibly hot sex or sitting in your liquor cabinet, chatting away.
When the HANKYUNG model is not around however or even when he is, the HEECHUL unit occasionally goes into RAPING and JUST PLAIN SLUTTY MODES, and hangs around the SIWON model quite a lot.
When the HANKYUNG or SIWON models are both not around, HEECHUL hangs around the KIBUM model, when the KIBUM model’s mode isn’t set to BRB ACTING.
The general Heechul model is generally set to JUST PLAIN SLUTTY model but if you do not like this, just switch it up to DORKY and tape it there. You should have no problems after that…we hope.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The HEECHUL unit should be exposed to a computer/phone/internet at most times, much like the KYUHYUN model as they are known to surf the net more so than most of the others. Do not expose the HEECHUL to the EETEUK unit when the EETEUK unit is in MOTHER HEN MODE, annoying people and things ( you will know what they are) , girl’s who flash their tummies, girl’s who are ( rare ) more beautiful than the HEECHUL unit himself and fan letters which are sent to him because they will most likely ( occasionally, and by occasionally we mean on air ) be ripped up.
Cleaning
HEECHUL units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: My HEECHUL unit is almost always wearing a scowl or a frown. How do I fix this?
A: Your HEECHUL unit was probably set in PMS mode; even if you switch it to DORKY or any of the other modes, he will most likely be scowling or frowning. But don’t worry, when Heechul wants to smile and be happy , he will, damnit. Maybe he’s just upset at you for giving him a scar near his eye when you took him out of his packaging.
Q: This thing is continuously spewing about his sex life and how he look’s better than me and half the fangirl’s in the world.
A: Three words; Suck it up. No pun intended. The HEECHUL model was naturally born with a face like this and it is only natural that he gets some.
Q: I can’t seem to reach my HEECHUL model by calling or texting. What should I do now?
A: Most likely you have done something to piss HEECHUL off. Most of the time he isn’t that unreasonable, except he is, because he’s HEECHUL. Because this model is particularly unique its mannerisms, it’s quite possible that he just decided on a whim that he deleted your number the very first time you ignored his text to bring cat nip home. Its just the way he works; if he wants to talk to you he will but don’t expect to get his number again.
Final Note
Given the nature of the HEECHUL model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 80 years because HEECHUL is awesome.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an HANKYUNG! In order to expect the top performance from your mini HANKYUNG unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s Chinaman to his full potential! The HANKYUNG unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All HANKYUNg units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard HANKYUNG unit will be wearing any one of the variations of the sleek suits from Sorry Sorry promotions. He may also come with a Lipstain colonzie tshirt, black rimmed glasses, jeans, Dr. Dre’s beats and some huge tongued sneakers- feel free to change him into that. The Hankyung unit should also come with a frying pan of some sort to make Beijing Fried Rice and Dumplings.
Operating
The HANKYUNG unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit. You do not have to speak Chinese…but it is preferred.
Uses
Translator - traveling to China, or Singapore or Taiwan or Hong kong or any other place with a big Chinese population? Bring along Hankyung for a translator and a tour guide :DD
Culture Show - Need something else to attract people other than this face and gorgeously hot body? Call up Hankyung to before native dances from China? A bigger crowd pleaser would be popping, robotic dances or any dances for that matter, especially in black leather or something sleeveless.
Compatibility with other Units
The HANKYUNG unit is most compatible with units HEECHUL, SIWON, and as of late, HENRY and ZHOU Mi.
The typical HANKYUNG unit is set to LAIDBACK but when in contact with the HEECHUL unit, he will go into MARRIED COUPLE mode. He is probably one of the only units immune when the HEECHUL unit goes into RAPING, ABUSE or INSANE modes.
When in China, HANKYUNG’s mode changes into BROHOES when SIWON feels like he is being exempted from the HEECHUL units wrath . The Hankyung model gets along quite well with the SIWON model.
When exposed to the ZHOU MI unit, the HANKYUNG model changes into COMPETITVE . He tends to do that when Zhou Mi expresses that his legs are longer and that he is better in Chinese than his gege.
HANKYUNG’s mode also changes to PIMP and DADDY when he realizes how cute Henry’s cheeks are and how not cute when he realizes Henry has been stealing his underwear.
Other Warnings/Precautions
Do not expose your HANKYUNG unit to extreme working conditions, lawyers, an extensive amount of too much Korean, junk food, Henry when he steals undies, milk shake places, China (according to Heechul).
Cleaning
HANKYUNG units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water, but occasionally may be allowed to be cleaned with HEECHUL because HEECHUL is a good little boy because he brings phones and cameras in to take pictures while they clean.
FAQ
Q: I have no idea what my HANKYUNG unit is saying??!
A: Simple, if its not Korean, its Chinese. …Or it could be a mix of both. But isn’t that accent just gorgeous?
Q: Um, instead of the frying pan, my HANKYUNG unit came with a HEECHUL unit.
A: We give you our upmost apologies; that seems to happen a lot with our HANKYUNG units, we will speak to our suppliers. If you are truly concerned, please call up our hot line to exchange. But why would you? Who in their right mind who exchange HEECHUL for a frying pan? You sick person, to tear apart a loving couple.
Q: I’m very annoyed by that SOLO mode on my Hankyung model. Every time I switch it to SJ15 , it switches back.
A: While it may seem like a company error, we can assure you it is not. Every model is examined to make sure the modes are permanent unless you change it yourselves. If you want to look at a moping, sick , sad HANKYUNG unit every day , all we have to say is that the HANKYUNG model can also automatically switch into LAWSUIT model. However if you insist, you can switch it to SJ15 and tape it to ensure its permanence, but beware the day the HEECHUL model and the SUN LE model comes hacking down your door with a mask and an ax.
Final Note
Given the nature of the HANKYUNG model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 50 years.
-Congratulations!-
You are now the proud owner of an YESUNG! In order to expect the top performance from your mini YESUNG unit, please read the following rules on how to proceed. The details in this manual will allow you to use Super Junior’s turtle master to his full potential! The YESUNG unit should arrive fully assembled with all accessories.
Accessories
All YESUNG units should be shipped out in bubble wrapped packages or plastic cases within cardboard boxes, or a wooden crate. This should reflect what you selected when ordering. The standard YESUNG unit will be wearing a polo shirt, jeans and adidas sneakers. YESUNG units also come with their choice of each of YESUNG’s tortoises.^^
Operating
The YESUNG unit has been designed to be user friendly (aka, for dummies and fanatical…fangirls ). Controls are voice activated and also a switch located on the back of the unit.
Uses
Does your philitrum itch? Is it feeling cold? Ask Yesung to come and touch and for free of charge, any time of the time. Boy does that sound perverted. Oh well.
Zoo keeper - need someone to babysit your turtles? Admittedly it will bore his out of his brains why would you get three after the first one gets bored? They must entertain a man somehow.
Compatibility with other Units
The YESUNG unit is pretty compatible with most units, mostly with the KYUHYUN, RYEOWOOK, and SIWON units.
When in contact with KYUHYUN and RYEOWOOK, he will obviously be COMPETITIVE with but they all match along pretty well.
Unsurprisingly as they used to room together, YESUNG and RYEOWOOK are frequently LOVEY DOVEY even when YESUNG is being a WEIRDO.
On the occasion that RYEOWOOK is in China or Taiwan and SIWON is filming for some CF in Korea, the two will be CHEATING.
Other Warnings/Precautions
The YESUNG unit should not be exposed to boredom, cigarettes, pesticides that damage turtle/tortoise eggs, sore throats, places where there are no Clouds, and programs where they edit out all his talking parts.
Cleaning
YESUNG units should be cleaned weekly with warm soap and water.
FAQ
Q: My Yesung unit is constantly self pitying himself and whining about how he doesn’t get enough attention.
A: Step 1: Buy a video camera and a tripod. Step 2: Set up camera and tripod. Step 3: Turn it on and let the man talk as much as he wants, edit, record and done :DD
Q: It’s been 5 years and he still wears his glasses upside down.
A: Maybe you could ask him very nicely to put his glasses on the right way like normal people. Or you could you just switch his mode to NORMAL but then it wouldn’t be very fun now, would it? Nothing is more fun then waking up in the middle of the night to find a YESUNG unit perched on your philitrum.
Final Note
Given the nature of the YESUNG model, he does not come with a lifetime guarantee sadly, with proper maintenance, this model should last you around 40 years.