Okay...so now I have thoughts.

[linden_jay]

A lot of thoughts. And because I don't like cryptic, even when I think everyone knows what I'm talking about, I'm referring to the posts made by thenyxie, and the resulting, well. Everything, really, that's come from it. Because it's not just wank anymore. There's been wank, and more wank, and People Not Getting It. There's been people sharing their

Comments

[bkm5191]

I give in with a lot of people.

How they can demand that they be seen as being 'right' and wont back down when they are utterly utterly wrong and actively harmful.

Then they make me fucking furious. All apology for rape is wrong. All of it.

[linden_jay]

An apology should mean sorry, not be an excuse. And in either case, it's completely inapplicable in this conversation, you know?

Somewhere, I made a comment where I said that she needs to just. Stop. Talking. The words won't disappear if you don't use them right this second. Just stop talking and listen for awhile. Try and hear. I don't think there's much chance she's gonna hear that though. So.

[marag]

::hugs:: I've never been much of a convention-goer (Hi, social anxiety, how are you? How ya been?) but I've met a ton of local fans and some fans in places I've been visiting and in general they're awesome.

Okay, one guy went totally off the rails later and did the whole sock puppet thing...but seriously, fandom is what got me through my pregnancies and my postpartum depression. People in RL were mostly useless and in a number of cases downright *harmful* to my sanity when I needed help most, but the folks here on LJ were the best and told me both what I wanted to hear and also what I needed to hear. (That is, I know LJ will kick my ass if I need to be told to do something!)

I've only been following this saga remotely but I think overall I came out feeling better about fandom. Fandom is a safe place, damn it. And we're going to keep it that way.

[linden_jay]

I totally hear you with the way in which we can support each other here online, and how powerful and life saving that can be. When I was dealing with depression, no one in my RL save my husband got it, and all the brunt of dealing with it/me was on him in a lot of ways, because the RL people were all with the bootstrap pulling up. Yeah. That's helpful, 'cause that's how it works. /sarcasm.

My online friends? They supported me. They gave a damn. They did the thing you said--the what I wanted to hear, and what I needed to hear. They listened. And there's so much power there. And I think we're all seeing that now--how much power there is just from having someone say hi. I believe you. And I'm listening.

[marag]

::nods a lot:: Oh yes...

RL people's response to my fears about a second pregnancy: Just do it, it'll be fine.

Their response when it (shocker!) turned out not to be fine at all: Bootstrap pulling up bullshit.

Their response when I nearly died in surgery: Oh, but it's over now, so what's the big deal?

LJ's response was to let me rant, hug me, reassure me in a non-condescending fashion, tell me they were proud of me...

I know which one I prefer.

[linden_jay]

I don't even know what's wrong with people sometimes, dude. I have signed a metaphorical vow, written in metaphorical blood, that I will not say any of the dumb fucking things people said to me when I was pregnant. And I wasn't even dealing with the obstacles that you were, you poor bastard. NOT cool at all. I read through your posts from that time after you'd friended me, because our wee ones are nearly almost the same time, and you are incredibly brave. And there were a lot of people I wanted to kick in the kneecaps after reading it.

But yeah--twin pregnancy in particular, having twins in particular, oh my god people say dumb things. Without LJ/Fandom to rant to? I might have killed someone.

[dalehead]

*hugs*

As usual I am not sure I have a clue what much of this is about but I do send you *hugs and more hugs* and love too.

[linden_jay]

Hugs and love? Are good. And awesome. And so are you.

[kristinholt]

I love you. I want to reread this when I come back from my second shift, but I love you muchly.

[linden_jay]

I love you too. Bunches. And yeah, um, I got a bit wordy. I do that sometimes. Hi. You know that about me.

[kristinholt]

Of course. But I didn't have the brainspace to devote to this either.

There's a lot of people in this that have gotten hurt. And that have hurt others. Lots of scabs being picked off here. And...

**hands flapping**

People, stop with the not making of SENSE, damn it to hell!

[ethrosdemon]

I hope to see you this or next year!

[linden_jay]

I hope so too! Because over and above the always having wanted to go, there are some seriously awesometastic people that I want to meet, now more than ever.

(How far in advance do you pick the location for the next year, btw?)