I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that :( Your story reminds me a lot of my boyfriend's--his parents were very much like you describe yours, and he's developed some of the same things it sounds like you have (OCD, for example). *offers hugs*
an old woman came close wanting to pinch my cheeks or something and I slapped her glasses off her face. So I was "bad" for having boundaries in the only way I knew how, is how I hear it now. Kids do that when they're trying to grab something! You were probably just interested in the glasses. I hate how people attribute the worst possible motives to others when they choose to live in mistrust.
I create space, I know how to offer real attention, and I really look for that from others. Sometimes, since being fully present and engaged is my preferred state, I need an intentionally created space of presence and attentiveness in order for me to feel comfortable. Because I never know how much "time" there is, if my stepping into a place of engagement is going to leave me feel left behind or unattended to. I also have a hard time asking others to make space for me and I worry about inconveniencing them and taking up space where I'm not welcome.YES. ME TOO. I like to know the end times for things. If that is helpful to you I will be happy
( ... )
I hadn't thought of that, maybe I just wanted to grab the glasses because I was interested in them or wanted to touch her face or...! And even if I did just want her to go away, I mean, babies have as much right to space as anyone else. I certainly didn't do anything wrong in any case!
Yeah, I think there was always some distraction going on, and I just wanted, deliberate focused attention. I got that sometimes, to some extent, but I was sensitive and I could tell they were pulled elsewhere, you know?
Ending plans for me aren't necessary (though I can make them for you) because I don't like feeling constrained in a box of time, but I like to have a sense that we have *at least* this much time, if that makes sense. :) Ideally I like to just play and not think about time at all.
Comments 4
Reply
Reply
Kids do that when they're trying to grab something! You were probably just interested in the glasses. I hate how people attribute the worst possible motives to others when they choose to live in mistrust.
I create space, I know how to offer real attention, and I really look for that from others. Sometimes, since being fully present and engaged is my preferred state, I need an intentionally created space of presence and attentiveness in order for me to feel comfortable. Because I never know how much "time" there is, if my stepping into a place of engagement is going to leave me feel left behind or unattended to. I also have a hard time asking others to make space for me and I worry about inconveniencing them and taking up space where I'm not welcome.YES. ME TOO. I like to know the end times for things. If that is helpful to you I will be happy ( ... )
Reply
Yeah, I think there was always some distraction going on, and I just wanted, deliberate focused attention. I got that sometimes, to some extent, but I was sensitive and I could tell they were pulled elsewhere, you know?
Ending plans for me aren't necessary (though I can make them for you) because I don't like feeling constrained in a box of time, but I like to have a sense that we have *at least* this much time, if that makes sense. :) Ideally I like to just play and not think about time at all.
Reply
Leave a comment