an old woman came close wanting to pinch my cheeks or something and I slapped her glasses off her face. So I was "bad" for having boundaries in the only way I knew how, is how I hear it now. Kids do that when they're trying to grab something! You were probably just interested in the glasses. I hate how people attribute the worst possible motives to others when they choose to live in mistrust.
I create space, I know how to offer real attention, and I really look for that from others. Sometimes, since being fully present and engaged is my preferred state, I need an intentionally created space of presence and attentiveness in order for me to feel comfortable. Because I never know how much "time" there is, if my stepping into a place of engagement is going to leave me feel left behind or unattended to. I also have a hard time asking others to make space for me and I worry about inconveniencing them and taking up space where I'm not welcome. YES. ME TOO. I like to know the end times for things. If that is helpful to you I will be happy to make ending plans whenever we plan. Also, I never tied my need for deliberate space to the fact that my parents were never really present with me, but that makes sense.
be afraid of strangers, never to talk to one unless they knew our secret word holy shit, I'd totally forgotten that my parents had these code words too... when they went out for a run they'd lock the door and we couldn't see the peephole because we were small so we were told to ask for the password before unlocking it.
I hadn't thought of that, maybe I just wanted to grab the glasses because I was interested in them or wanted to touch her face or...! And even if I did just want her to go away, I mean, babies have as much right to space as anyone else. I certainly didn't do anything wrong in any case!
Yeah, I think there was always some distraction going on, and I just wanted, deliberate focused attention. I got that sometimes, to some extent, but I was sensitive and I could tell they were pulled elsewhere, you know?
Ending plans for me aren't necessary (though I can make them for you) because I don't like feeling constrained in a box of time, but I like to have a sense that we have *at least* this much time, if that makes sense. :) Ideally I like to just play and not think about time at all.
Kids do that when they're trying to grab something! You were probably just interested in the glasses. I hate how people attribute the worst possible motives to others when they choose to live in mistrust.
I create space, I know how to offer real attention, and I really look for that from others. Sometimes, since being fully present and engaged is my preferred state, I need an intentionally created space of presence and attentiveness in order for me to feel comfortable. Because I never know how much "time" there is, if my stepping into a place of engagement is going to leave me feel left behind or unattended to. I also have a hard time asking others to make space for me and I worry about inconveniencing them and taking up space where I'm not welcome.
YES. ME TOO. I like to know the end times for things. If that is helpful to you I will be happy to make ending plans whenever we plan. Also, I never tied my need for deliberate space to the fact that my parents were never really present with me, but that makes sense.
be afraid of strangers, never to talk to one unless they knew our secret word
holy shit, I'd totally forgotten that my parents had these code words too... when they went out for a run they'd lock the door and we couldn't see the peephole because we were small so we were told to ask for the password before unlocking it.
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Yeah, I think there was always some distraction going on, and I just wanted, deliberate focused attention. I got that sometimes, to some extent, but I was sensitive and I could tell they were pulled elsewhere, you know?
Ending plans for me aren't necessary (though I can make them for you) because I don't like feeling constrained in a box of time, but I like to have a sense that we have *at least* this much time, if that makes sense. :) Ideally I like to just play and not think about time at all.
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