TAI story attempt
Please to be ignoring - work in progress. My attempt to take two different people's drafts of Chapter 6 of the TAI mystery and work them into a single narrative. Comments welcome, although really we must finish NOW.
CHAPTER SIX
Many, many miles away from their destination of Minneapolis, Sisky and Tony (yes, indeed, Tony had gone looking for Sisky and was once again left behind by the nefarious Guy Ripley) are frantically searching for a way to get from southern Illinois to Minnesota.
"I wish we still had the bus... I hate public transportation," Sisky said as he looked at his watch. It was nearing 11:30PM and if they wanted to catch up to Guy and the rest of their band, they really had to get a move on.
As they walked down the empty streets of Sauget, they saw a brightly-lit car dealership. The sign out front read "Open 24 Hours!" in huge letters and underneath it, in very small print, it said "just for those who are stranded on their way to Minneapolis..."
Tony notices the sign, points it out to Sisky, and in unison they yell "WHOA!" and storm into the building to confront the only person there. His name tag read “Mr. Cash.”
“Why, hello!” Mr. Cash said with a cheesy grin, “How may I help you young fellow tonight? In need of a one-of-a-kind automobile?”
“Hi,” replied Adam. “Yes, we need a car, and quick. We have to get to Minneapolis as soon as we can.”
“Oh! Young sir, I can help you. Yes, yes I can. Follow me!” Mr. Cash said as he skipped out the side door, looking back to make sure that Tony and Adam were following close behind.
“Right this way. Keep up, boys!” Mr. Cash said, over his shoulder, as he hurried across the lot.
“Ahhh, this is the one!” yelled Mr. Cash as he stopped abruptly in front of a tiny white car with a missing bumper, a cracked windshield, and one of the worst paint jobs either of the boys had ever seen. He pulled a single key out of his pocket, and smiling at the boys, waved it in front of Tony’s face. Tony reached out and Mr. Cash dropped the key into his palm.
“There you go!”
“What? You’re just giving the car to us?” asked Sisky with a confused look on his face.
“It’s already been taken care of; don’t worry. Just enjoy your long drive.”
“Taken care of? But how?” asks Tony.
“Oh, a strange fellow came in earlier and told me if I saw two short little buggers, to give them this car and this note.” Mr. Cash pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, straightened it out and handed it to Tony.
Tony read aloud “Catch us if you can! Meet us at the Mall of America at 4 - let’s say Lego Land? Cheerio!”
Tony and Adam looked at each other. “GUY!” they yelled, in unison.
They thanked Mr. Cash and got into the car to start on their drive to Minneapolis.
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
Music: Pleasure Ryland, by Cobra Starship
Dear Diary,
It’s Hallowe’en today, that kooky celebration of terror and treats so beloved of these Americans - little realizing that these traditions, like so many others, originated in the beloved Mother Country of England. Yours truly may have eaten a few too many scrumptious sweets, oh dear. Watching the waistline, you know.
Today, I found myself in the Twin Cities with those demi-gods of Rock, The Academy Is… In vain, I attempted to garner an interview with the wonderful and stunningly attractive William Beckett (delicious!), but he would have none of it, so I decided to devote my energies to devising a little Hallowe’en prank for our dear friend Adam T. Sisks (although I must admit that his relentless stalking of this great band is becoming tiresome - I worry for his mental health).
I journeyed with “the boys” to that haven of the commercial, The Mall of America! Surrounded by a sea of short people in awkward costumes, I set my plan in motion, Earlier, I had imposed myself upon the marvelous musicians that were my companions for long enough to prepare my prank. Everything proceeded with fantastic aplomb - I’m certain it’s because I had my limited edition Hannah Montana pen upon my personage. I set the bait with a message to Mr. Siska, telling him that he could find the objects of his affection (my current compatriots) at the Mall of America. On the appointed day, we made ourselves scarce by hiding in that epitome of emo, that castle of counter-culture, Hot Topic. I found myself distracted by the superabundance of emo pants, desperate for a new pair of those wonderfully-in-fashion items, but I persevered through the temptation and focused upon one Sisky Business. He spied the signs we had so carefully placed in storefronts and over advertisements, and read their fateful message. My plan was brilliant!
- - - - - - - - - -
“Guy? I know this is your master plan and all, but can I get a break from filming? I don’t think anyone wants to watch the guys sleeping.” Jack is tiredly holding his video camera in William’s sleeping face.
“Oh, pish posh, Jack! Our viewers an inside look at the life of one William Beckett.” Jack rolls his eyes as he watches to see what Guy will do next.
Ripley walks over to the hotel dresser and pulls out the top drawer. He retrieves a large black bag from the drawer and, sitting on the edge of the bed that William and Carden are sleeping in (head to foot, of course!), he sifts around in the bag as if he is looking for something. Finally, he stops and pulls a large red costume out of the bag, looks Jack in the eyes and says “Well, this is for you, young fellow!”
Jack looks towards Guy and nearly drops his camera when he realizes what it is. “Whaaa? Are you kidding me? I am not dressing up as a lobster. No. Never. Even if it is Halloween. Not gonna happen, Guy. NO.”
“Oh, sir, you will wear it. I know you don’t want to disappoint the fans, even though you aren’t really a member of the band. If you were William, the fans really WOULD be disappointed if you didn’t wear your costume. But you’re not William, are you?” Guy clears his throat before picking up a small triangle and dinging it right in William’s ear.
“Oh, boys! Wakey, wakey! Come along! We have an exciting day ahead of us!” By the end of this, the 4 members of The Academy Is… are awakened by the strange man jumping between their beds. They sit up and rub the sleep out of their eyes, looking dazedly at Guy, who is now standing in front of them, straightening his suit. “Well, good morning, sunshine! Thank goodness you are all awake now. I have a present for you.”
Guy runs over to the edge of William and Mike’s bed and picks up the black bag, starting to distribute his so-called “presents”.
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley (con’t)
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
Sisky Business will be CONFOUNDED. Flustered. He thinks he’s caught us, but he’ll never reach The Academy Is…!
- - - - - - - - - -
Tony and Sisky arrived at the Mall of America with two hours to spare before the appointed time. “What are we supposed to do now?” Adam asks with a bewildered look on his face, as he looks at the thousands of people around him dressed as various Halloween creatures.
“We are at one of the country’s largest malls, on Halloween, what CAN we do?”
They decided to just wander for a while until it was time to meet Guy at Lego Land. They walked into nearly every one of the approximately 560 stores in the Mall. They rode the “Rock Bottom Plunge” in Nickelodeon Universe, and were about to head to another ride when Sisky’s phone rings, treating them to “Wow I can get sexual, too” by Say Anything.
Sisky flips his phone open. The muffled voice on he other end of the phone says “Why, HELLO Adam T. Siska. I see you are might early for our meeting. I have something for you. Lego land… NOW?” The voice on the other end goes silent.
Sisky replies “I’ll be there” and hangs up the phone, grabbing Tony by the shoulder. “We gotta go meet Guy. NOW. Maybe he has the guys with him. I really hope so. It’s been so long, I’m starting to forget what The Butcher’s beard looks like.”
Tony and Adam run through the mall, looking for Lego Land. After passing the Rainforest Café for the third time, they find Lego Land and run for the entrance. There are bins and bins of lego parts from floor to ceiling. Adam runs around like a small child looking for his mother, but in this case he is looking for his bandmates and a man he would never like to think of as ANYONE’s parent.
Suddenly, Adam bumps into a tall man in a bad suit. The man turns around, towering over Sisky and says “HELLO there, Adam. Fancy seeing you here, young man! Ha ha ha. I know why you’re here - because you followed my clues to a T. Congrats, sir, congrats. But I’m sorry; you are too late. The boys have already gone back to The Cabooze to get ready for tonight’s Halloween Spectacular. You should be heading there also, shouldn’t you?”
“Gone? I was THIS close and now they are gone? Drat, I am always 2 steps behind you, Ripley.” Sisky said, with an evil squint in his eye.
“Oh, come along, don’t be bitter. No point in giving up now! I do have something to lift your spirits.” Guy reaches into the same black bag and pulls out two wads of clothing, one white and one brown, and hands them to Sisky. “Here you go, my friend. And now I need to dash - I have a show to put on!” Guy says as he runs off into the crowd of people before Sisky can reply.
Tony looks at his watch as he walks over to Sisky. “We really better get going if we want to get to The Cabooze before the show starts.”
Sisky nods his head in approval as they run towards the Mall entrance. They hop into their little white car and make their way to the venue.
- - - - - - - - - -
Back at The Cabooze, William and the boys are getting changed into the costumes Guy gave them. William is wearing a very tight Peter Pan costume, complete to the bells on his little shoes. Mike is dressed as Spongebob. The Butcher walks up the stairs to the balcony fully dressed as a billy goat. ChizZ is already there, sitting on a couch, dressed as Dracula.
Guy Ripley comes over to the group while sipping water through a straw, and blurts out “Oh boy! You all look wonderful” Our viewers surely will love this treat we are giving them on All Hallow’s Eve! Oh goody - Jack’s here!” Jack slowly walks up the steps, trying to maneuver in his giant lobster costume. Before he can speak, Sisky and Tony - dressed as a ninja and a pirate - run up the stairs, nearly knocking him over.
“We are here! We have you now, Guy Ripley” Sisky exclaims as he tries to catch his breath, waving his oversize pirate hat in his face to create a cooling breeze.
“Oh, yes - you have caught us!” Guy replies. “Bravo! I’m just trying to get an interview with the boys, that’s all. No hard feelings, Adam?”
Guy reaches out to Sisky, and they shake hands. Sisky jumps in pain. “Guy? Are you wearing one of those shocking things?”
Guy just bends over, laughing at Sisky for falling for once of the oldest tricks in the book. Once he stops laughing, he looks at his watch and begins to count down “FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE!”
As he hits the end of his countdown, the doors of The Cabooze open and swarms of girls run towards the stage. Once the floor is packed with fans, or viewers as Guy Ripley would call them. Jack turns to the guys “Go warm up. Maybe you can actually play the show tonight.”
After Hey Monday and Carolina Liar play, it’s time for We The Kings. “All of The Academy Is… is together at last to play a magical Halloween show? Oh how CUTE!” Travis yells as they finish their set.
Backstage, the band is excited about how good the show is going to be. Jack runs over and says “You’re up! This is insane - you’re finally going to play!”
The band all run to the edge of the stage, instruments in hand, and wait for the lights to dim. Just as the stage goes black, they run onto the stage, get into their places, and launch into “Attention.” The crowd goes wild!
They get all the way through their first song, and the band is pumped. They play their second song, “Seed,” and as soon as they finish, the lights go out again. This time a fog machine is filling the stage with smoke. Sisky is on stage, frantically waving his arms to try to clear the smoke. When he can see again, the rest of the band is gone and all that’s left on stage besides Sisky is a note pinned to William’s microphone. It reads “Better luck next time! Have fun in Milwaukee!”
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley (con’t)
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
The venue is thoroughly subpar, especially considering the caliber of the men that would play there. I had hoped that my earlier plan would keep that sniveling stalker from the show, and The Academy Is would take the stage in all of their Halloween finery, as I “rocked” along with my fellow enthusiasts.
Sadly, the night was marred by Mr. Siska’s persistence, and he had the audacity to take the stage and play bass with the greatest rock band of all time. Thankfully, my quick thinking rescued the boys from any awkward moments after the show, as I whisked them away before Siska could impose his presence upon them.
Their performance was delicious. A highly satisfactory Halloween. I remain certain that I will obtain my perfect interview soon.
Goodnight, Hannah Montana.
Goodnight, Twin Cities.
Goodnight, oh William Beckett. Delicious.
~ Guy Ripley
CHAPTER SIX
Many, many miles away from their destination of Minneapolis, Sisky and Tony (yes, indeed, Tony had gone looking for Sisky and was once again left behind by the nefarious Guy Ripley) are frantically searching for a way to get from southern Illinois to Minnesota.
"I wish we still had the bus... I hate public transportation," Sisky said as he looked at his watch. It was nearing 11:30PM and if they wanted to catch up to Guy and the rest of their band, they really had to get a move on.
As they walked down the empty streets of Sauget, they saw a brightly-lit car dealership. The sign out front read "Open 24 Hours!" in huge letters and underneath it, in very small print, it said "just for those who are stranded on their way to Minneapolis..."
Tony notices the sign, points it out to Sisky, and in unison they yell "WHOA!" and storm into the building to confront the only person there. His name tag read “Mr. Cash.”
“Why, hello!” Mr. Cash said with a cheesy grin, “How may I help you young fellow tonight? In need of a one-of-a-kind automobile?”
“Hi,” replied Adam. “Yes, we need a car, and quick. We have to get to Minneapolis as soon as we can.”
“Oh! Young sir, I can help you. Yes, yes I can. Follow me!” Mr. Cash said as he skipped out the side door, looking back to make sure that Tony and Adam were following close behind.
“Right this way. Keep up, boys!” Mr. Cash said, over his shoulder, as he hurried across the lot.
“Ahhh, this is the one!” yelled Mr. Cash as he stopped abruptly in front of a tiny white car with a missing bumper, a cracked windshield, and one of the worst paint jobs either of the boys had ever seen. He pulled a single key out of his pocket, and smiling at the boys, waved it in front of Tony’s face. Tony reached out and Mr. Cash dropped the key into his palm.
“There you go!”
“What? You’re just giving the car to us?” asked Sisky with a confused look on his face.
“It’s already been taken care of; don’t worry. Just enjoy your long drive.”
“Taken care of? But how?” asks Tony.
“Oh, a strange fellow came in earlier and told me if I saw two short little buggers, to give them this car and this note.” Mr. Cash pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, straightened it out and handed it to Tony.
Tony read aloud “Catch us if you can! Meet us at the Mall of America at 4 - let’s say Lego Land? Cheerio!”
Tony and Adam looked at each other. “GUY!” they yelled, in unison.
They thanked Mr. Cash and got into the car to start on their drive to Minneapolis.
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
Music: Pleasure Ryland, by Cobra Starship
Dear Diary,
It’s Hallowe’en today, that kooky celebration of terror and treats so beloved of these Americans - little realizing that these traditions, like so many others, originated in the beloved Mother Country of England. Yours truly may have eaten a few too many scrumptious sweets, oh dear. Watching the waistline, you know.
Today, I found myself in the Twin Cities with those demi-gods of Rock, The Academy Is… In vain, I attempted to garner an interview with the wonderful and stunningly attractive William Beckett (delicious!), but he would have none of it, so I decided to devote my energies to devising a little Hallowe’en prank for our dear friend Adam T. Sisks (although I must admit that his relentless stalking of this great band is becoming tiresome - I worry for his mental health).
I journeyed with “the boys” to that haven of the commercial, The Mall of America! Surrounded by a sea of short people in awkward costumes, I set my plan in motion, Earlier, I had imposed myself upon the marvelous musicians that were my companions for long enough to prepare my prank. Everything proceeded with fantastic aplomb - I’m certain it’s because I had my limited edition Hannah Montana pen upon my personage. I set the bait with a message to Mr. Siska, telling him that he could find the objects of his affection (my current compatriots) at the Mall of America. On the appointed day, we made ourselves scarce by hiding in that epitome of emo, that castle of counter-culture, Hot Topic. I found myself distracted by the superabundance of emo pants, desperate for a new pair of those wonderfully-in-fashion items, but I persevered through the temptation and focused upon one Sisky Business. He spied the signs we had so carefully placed in storefronts and over advertisements, and read their fateful message. My plan was brilliant!
- - - - - - - - - -
“Guy? I know this is your master plan and all, but can I get a break from filming? I don’t think anyone wants to watch the guys sleeping.” Jack is tiredly holding his video camera in William’s sleeping face.
“Oh, pish posh, Jack! Our viewers an inside look at the life of one William Beckett.” Jack rolls his eyes as he watches to see what Guy will do next.
Ripley walks over to the hotel dresser and pulls out the top drawer. He retrieves a large black bag from the drawer and, sitting on the edge of the bed that William and Carden are sleeping in (head to foot, of course!), he sifts around in the bag as if he is looking for something. Finally, he stops and pulls a large red costume out of the bag, looks Jack in the eyes and says “Well, this is for you, young fellow!”
Jack looks towards Guy and nearly drops his camera when he realizes what it is. “Whaaa? Are you kidding me? I am not dressing up as a lobster. No. Never. Even if it is Halloween. Not gonna happen, Guy. NO.”
“Oh, sir, you will wear it. I know you don’t want to disappoint the fans, even though you aren’t really a member of the band. If you were William, the fans really WOULD be disappointed if you didn’t wear your costume. But you’re not William, are you?” Guy clears his throat before picking up a small triangle and dinging it right in William’s ear.
“Oh, boys! Wakey, wakey! Come along! We have an exciting day ahead of us!” By the end of this, the 4 members of The Academy Is… are awakened by the strange man jumping between their beds. They sit up and rub the sleep out of their eyes, looking dazedly at Guy, who is now standing in front of them, straightening his suit. “Well, good morning, sunshine! Thank goodness you are all awake now. I have a present for you.”
Guy runs over to the edge of William and Mike’s bed and picks up the black bag, starting to distribute his so-called “presents”.
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley (con’t)
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
Sisky Business will be CONFOUNDED. Flustered. He thinks he’s caught us, but he’ll never reach The Academy Is…!
- - - - - - - - - -
Tony and Sisky arrived at the Mall of America with two hours to spare before the appointed time. “What are we supposed to do now?” Adam asks with a bewildered look on his face, as he looks at the thousands of people around him dressed as various Halloween creatures.
“We are at one of the country’s largest malls, on Halloween, what CAN we do?”
They decided to just wander for a while until it was time to meet Guy at Lego Land. They walked into nearly every one of the approximately 560 stores in the Mall. They rode the “Rock Bottom Plunge” in Nickelodeon Universe, and were about to head to another ride when Sisky’s phone rings, treating them to “Wow I can get sexual, too” by Say Anything.
Sisky flips his phone open. The muffled voice on he other end of the phone says “Why, HELLO Adam T. Siska. I see you are might early for our meeting. I have something for you. Lego land… NOW?” The voice on the other end goes silent.
Sisky replies “I’ll be there” and hangs up the phone, grabbing Tony by the shoulder. “We gotta go meet Guy. NOW. Maybe he has the guys with him. I really hope so. It’s been so long, I’m starting to forget what The Butcher’s beard looks like.”
Tony and Adam run through the mall, looking for Lego Land. After passing the Rainforest Café for the third time, they find Lego Land and run for the entrance. There are bins and bins of lego parts from floor to ceiling. Adam runs around like a small child looking for his mother, but in this case he is looking for his bandmates and a man he would never like to think of as ANYONE’s parent.
Suddenly, Adam bumps into a tall man in a bad suit. The man turns around, towering over Sisky and says “HELLO there, Adam. Fancy seeing you here, young man! Ha ha ha. I know why you’re here - because you followed my clues to a T. Congrats, sir, congrats. But I’m sorry; you are too late. The boys have already gone back to The Cabooze to get ready for tonight’s Halloween Spectacular. You should be heading there also, shouldn’t you?”
“Gone? I was THIS close and now they are gone? Drat, I am always 2 steps behind you, Ripley.” Sisky said, with an evil squint in his eye.
“Oh, come along, don’t be bitter. No point in giving up now! I do have something to lift your spirits.” Guy reaches into the same black bag and pulls out two wads of clothing, one white and one brown, and hands them to Sisky. “Here you go, my friend. And now I need to dash - I have a show to put on!” Guy says as he runs off into the crowd of people before Sisky can reply.
Tony looks at his watch as he walks over to Sisky. “We really better get going if we want to get to The Cabooze before the show starts.”
Sisky nods his head in approval as they run towards the Mall entrance. They hop into their little white car and make their way to the venue.
- - - - - - - - - -
Back at The Cabooze, William and the boys are getting changed into the costumes Guy gave them. William is wearing a very tight Peter Pan costume, complete to the bells on his little shoes. Mike is dressed as Spongebob. The Butcher walks up the stairs to the balcony fully dressed as a billy goat. ChizZ is already there, sitting on a couch, dressed as Dracula.
Guy Ripley comes over to the group while sipping water through a straw, and blurts out “Oh boy! You all look wonderful” Our viewers surely will love this treat we are giving them on All Hallow’s Eve! Oh goody - Jack’s here!” Jack slowly walks up the steps, trying to maneuver in his giant lobster costume. Before he can speak, Sisky and Tony - dressed as a ninja and a pirate - run up the stairs, nearly knocking him over.
“We are here! We have you now, Guy Ripley” Sisky exclaims as he tries to catch his breath, waving his oversize pirate hat in his face to create a cooling breeze.
“Oh, yes - you have caught us!” Guy replies. “Bravo! I’m just trying to get an interview with the boys, that’s all. No hard feelings, Adam?”
Guy reaches out to Sisky, and they shake hands. Sisky jumps in pain. “Guy? Are you wearing one of those shocking things?”
Guy just bends over, laughing at Sisky for falling for once of the oldest tricks in the book. Once he stops laughing, he looks at his watch and begins to count down “FIVE… FOUR… THREE… TWO… ONE!”
As he hits the end of his countdown, the doors of The Cabooze open and swarms of girls run towards the stage. Once the floor is packed with fans, or viewers as Guy Ripley would call them. Jack turns to the guys “Go warm up. Maybe you can actually play the show tonight.”
After Hey Monday and Carolina Liar play, it’s time for We The Kings. “All of The Academy Is… is together at last to play a magical Halloween show? Oh how CUTE!” Travis yells as they finish their set.
Backstage, the band is excited about how good the show is going to be. Jack runs over and says “You’re up! This is insane - you’re finally going to play!”
The band all run to the edge of the stage, instruments in hand, and wait for the lights to dim. Just as the stage goes black, they run onto the stage, get into their places, and launch into “Attention.” The crowd goes wild!
They get all the way through their first song, and the band is pumped. They play their second song, “Seed,” and as soon as they finish, the lights go out again. This time a fog machine is filling the stage with smoke. Sisky is on stage, frantically waving his arms to try to clear the smoke. When he can see again, the rest of the band is gone and all that’s left on stage besides Sisky is a note pinned to William’s microphone. It reads “Better luck next time! Have fun in Milwaukee!”
- - - - - - - - - -
Excerpt from The Diary of Guy Ripley (con’t)
Day 35 of This Most Excellent Adventure
The venue is thoroughly subpar, especially considering the caliber of the men that would play there. I had hoped that my earlier plan would keep that sniveling stalker from the show, and The Academy Is would take the stage in all of their Halloween finery, as I “rocked” along with my fellow enthusiasts.
Sadly, the night was marred by Mr. Siska’s persistence, and he had the audacity to take the stage and play bass with the greatest rock band of all time. Thankfully, my quick thinking rescued the boys from any awkward moments after the show, as I whisked them away before Siska could impose his presence upon them.
Their performance was delicious. A highly satisfactory Halloween. I remain certain that I will obtain my perfect interview soon.
Goodnight, Hannah Montana.
Goodnight, Twin Cities.
Goodnight, oh William Beckett. Delicious.
~ Guy Ripley