well as far as im concerned love is only pain. it sucks so much because no matter how much you try to make things right and try to be happy it never works. Once again there's always that feeling of your heart completely being riped out but thats partially my fault. once again i let myself go and trust somebody: and as usual... i got hurt. It's not ( Read more... )

ok so after christmas i left for Florida for a week and that was probably the best time i've ever had in my life! it was sooo much fun just to have a week for myself with only my family and my girl g to keep me sane. there were no guys to worry bout or any real problems. well then i get back and everything goes into a downward spiral -- and fast! ( Read more... )

ok so recently life has come to complete shit.... as soon as everything comes together, it all falls apart... so basically things have turned to shit. I've started tlakin to danny again and now i've just been thinkin bout how i duno if i really am that happy w/matt cus hes kinda been turnin into an asshole lately, and i dont know what to think ( Read more... )

ok so its official... now that im done bugging me mom for a few days or oooh maybe even a week its official!!!!!!1 i'm a damn redhead. we died my hair tonight and got done at about 9:08 PM and now i just have to finish waiting out the 1/2 hour so that i can go take a shower and see how horribly i fucked up this one. So please just pray with me that ( Read more... )

im kinda freaked out because everything is still going so well with matt and it seems like i still love him more than ever. He's the best bf i've ever had and i love him more than life itself and id do anything for him. It 's so great because i feel so special and loved and for once in my fuckin life i feel like im needed! its so wierd and i dont ( Read more... )

well anyways... everything's going perfect w/matt but there's a problem... everything's goin right. Like it honestly terrifies me because i'm so used to having things messed up for me and since it's goin right i dont know what to thinkand it scares me. I'm like scared TO DEATH that i'mguna fuck this up because he's like the perfect guy for me and i ( Read more... )

ok so as far as homeocming is concerned, omfg it ruled! so Matt did go with me and he bought me a pink rose and chocolate... i wanted to jsut cry bc thats the sweetest thing that anyody has ever done for me. HE's like THE perfect boyfriend. Then throughout the night he was perfect... he danced with me like ALL night and it was just great bc i love ( Read more... )

ok so homecoming is coming up in like less than 2 weeks. (sept. 9th) and im sooo confused. like i really wana take matt cua i have the bigest crush on him. but because im such a retard and i fuck everything up, i doub t i will. i have this bad feeling like this is too good to be true and that someting bad is goin to happen. so im really cautious ( Read more... )

Ok so today had beena kick ass day cept for comin home and realizin that my room got fuckin painted GREEN! but other thank that its been a good day cus 1) i havent heard from spenser since like 5ish and that means hes not stalkin me as much 2)matt decided to tell me that he likes me so since about the end of 7th period i've been in like one of the ( Read more... )

ok its freakin official! i need a boyfriend! i mean i know that guys arent everything but i mean come n... have u ever had the feeling that a guy gives u when u're together: how he makes you rly happy and makes you feel important and loved? well damnit i want that back! and see here's the thing about it and the most ironic thig... go figure i cant ( Read more... )