5th footnote [text] the Christmas conspiracy

[likesfootnotes]

How festive and cheerful you all are about the tidings of Christmas, but each and every one of you are remiss about certain key points regarding the season and the tyrant that orchestrates it. 1 I feel it's only responsible to clear up a few details about this mistaken holiday before you are too carried away by the apparent 'peace on Earth and

Comments

[thenotmagician]

Say what?

[Zeke is confused. BARTI WHAT ARE YOU EVEN-]

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

[Bartimaeus is educating you!]

Never heard that version, hm? I'm not surprised. It's always popular at the holiday parties.

[audio]

[thenotmagician]

That's quite a version, I'll give ya that. Though we never celebrated whatever Christmas is back home.

[audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Did you have some other depravity masked as festivities?

[Audio]

[faun_tumnus]

[Tumnus cannot even... Barti what are... asdgl;aeh;glhadf;gjkafh]

WHAT?! Father Christmas is not a tyrant!

[Audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Says who?

[Five thousand years old and the winner of the Most Mature Response contest.]

[Audio]

[faun_tumnus]

I've met the man personally and I can assure you that this information is not correct!

[SO THERE!]

[Audio]

[likesfootnotes]

But have you ever worked for him? Seen where it all comes from?

It's very ignorant to meet someone once and then insist you know his entire character.

[AND THERE!]

[Audio]

[bffpoltergeist]

[Liz can't say much to this... she's too busy being doubled over with laughter. Have a helpless case of giggles, Barti.]

[Audio]

[likesfootnotes]

Finding the plight of a thousand enslaved children amusing? (I know I do. The only thing better would be magicians in chains, but Santa never grants MY wishes.)

[Audio]

[bffpoltergeist]

[Liz actually snorts she's laughing so hard.]

God.. oh, god... they're elves. He doesn't, like.. [Breathe, Liz, breathe...] Depraved human being? Oh, God... whew... [Another round of helpless giggles, because now she has the image of shackled elves along an assembly line.]

[Audio]

[likesfootnotes]

You're laughing to keep from crying, I see.

Audio

[icnfly]

That's...an interesting version of it.

*Wot.*

Audio

[likesfootnotes]

The truth generally is, though it shocks most into silence, then denial. Where on the scale will you be falling today?

Audio

[icnfly]

I guess you'd see it as denial, since I'm pretty sure the only 'santas' are parents and guys in red suits at department stores. In my world, at least.

Audio

[likesfootnotes]

Lucky world that you come from. Devoid of holidays in general?

text

[thii2ii22tupiid]

ii get iit, ii really 2hould have before, but ii gue22 ii wa2 bliind for a biit.
everythiing you wriite ii2 fiictiion.
two bad you can't wriite iit very well.

text

[likesfootnotes]

You completely miss the point, but I've come to expect that from the untrollish mage that you are. This is a serious piece of non-fiction meant to warn the world about the very real dangers and corruptions of this time of year.

text

[thii2ii22tupiid]

ii don't know, ii read over all the thiing2 you po2t and all ii can 2ee ii2 "B2 B2 B2 B2."

text | I had the dumbest moment of "what am B2???" earlier... lololol

[likesfootnotes]

Since you believe whole-heartedly in this folly, you must have a mountain of proof to refute me. 1

1 - I expect you have a molehill, or the very sort of sinkhole that exists where there is nothing to support the ground you stand on.