Closed;}

[lifewithoutrest]

Helen trailed her fingertips along the edge of her desk, feeling the curve of the wood. It had been a long year, longer than most. And she felt more than qualified to make that judgment. She was still surprised at how difficult it had been, returning to the life she'd left

Comments

[w_zimmerman]

There was always work to be done, and Will was as aware of that fact as anyone, but he'd been listless since their return, unable to focus on much of anything for too long. Too many emails and conference calls, too much paperwork to contend with. Not enough working frantically towards tangible, world-saving goals. Not that he missed the idea of the world being in peril, but it was hard to adjust to the new pace of life. He couldn't focus, he couldn't sleep, and he couldn't forget.

More than that, though, he was worried about Magnus, had to be. She watched out for everyone else and that made it his job to watch out for her. She was taking things hard, that was obvious. Which meant that, tonight, paperwork and filing could wait.

He knocked on her office door, leaning in and trying not to look as worried about her as he felt.

"Hey, you got a minute?"

[w_zimmerman]

He was used to her forcing distance between herself and others, even him. It was just Helen Magnus being Helen Magnus, as far as he could tell. Even if it had occurred to him that there might be more to her resistance now, it probably wouldn't have changed his answer much.

Lifting a hand, letting his fingers brush her wrist, he leaned into her touch, telling her gently, "And you don't deserve to have to bear every burden alone."

[lifewithoutrest]

"Some of those burdens I've carried a very long time. You've no idea what you're asking." She'd handled it on her own for so long, she wasn't even certain she remembered how to ask for help. Or how to accept it.

[w_zimmerman]

"I know what I'm asking, and that it's... terrible what you'll tell me if you decide to share your burdens with me. But I've grown up, Magnus, in the past four years. As a direct result of you, your teachings and your example, I'm much more cut out to deal with the things that you've had to deal with for so long. You once asked me to be your emotional compass, and I accepted. I meant it, too. So, let me start being that for you?"

[lifewithoutrest]

"You still have so much to learn." It wasn't an insult, far from it, but a part of her was still reluctant to destroy whatever innocence he had left. His life had been difficult enough. She would hate to see him lose faith in the world.

But he had asked, and she didn't want to deny him this. Not now, after he'd been so sincere, so committed to supporting her.

Finding his hand again, she slid her fingers through his. "Come. Let us discuss Carentan. Perhaps we'll both find a way to sleep tonight."

It wasn't complete acceptance, but it was a start. And it was the best she could give for now.

[w_zimmerman]

He answered her comment about what he still had to learn with a little shrug, telling her, "I remember, my mom used to have this saying. 'Lord, make me wise, just not too wise.'" He didn't want to be shielded, not from this, not from her, but he understood and appreciated what she was trying to protect him from.

Biting his lip, he nodded, fingers twining firmly though hers. "Do you want to stay out here, or go inside? Maybe a drink...?"

[lifewithoutrest]

"Tea?" At this hour, she was certain it wouldn't be difficult to find an unoccupied corner of the Sanctuary, and she could use the distraction it would provide.

[w_zimmerman]

"Tea sounds perfect." He nodded, turning back towards the Sanctuary. There was bound to be an empty lounge on the residential level where they could sit and talk for awhile.

(ooc: heading for bed now. will tag back in the morning)

[lifewithoutrest]

"Thank you, Will. For being here." And she wasn't referring just to this moment, but every other time he had been there, going above and beyond what she had asked of him.

(ooc: Sorry for the delay. I fell asleep last night!)

[w_zimmerman]

He bit his lip at that, nodding and offering her his hand again. "Any time, Magnus. I need you to know that. I"ll always try to have your back, no matter what."

(ooc: that's fine. RL happens... I'll be off more than online tonight myself, probably)

[lifewithoutrest]

She took his hand, smiling as she gave it a light squeeze. "I know, Will. I've always known."

And she did appreciate his devotion, more than she could ever truly say. She only wished there wasn't such a cost to their friendship. Some days, she wished she'd never brought him into her world. As much as she knew it had come to mean to him. It had given him a family and a purpose, and she could never regret that. But she wasn't good for him. She'd lived too long, saw too much. And he was so determined to know her, know the history she carried. A price he was willing to pay, simply so she wouldn't have to do it alone. Though perhaps a part of it was curiosity. Still, she wouldn't wish those burdens on anyone.

"You're so much like him, you know. James. Not just your skills of observation." There was another fleeting smile. "A bit less arrogant, perhaps."

[w_zimmerman]

Will's always been inclined to see his gradual loss of innocence since joining the Sanctuary as generally a good thing, a kind of growing up. He might not always have been able to sleep at night, might have learned some harsh truths about the world he lived in but, on balance, he was wiser and more equipped to handle what the world threw at him. The world would always be a scary place. The only difference between him and most others was that he knew it and could guard himself and his friends against the unthinkable

[lifewithoutrest]

She had known how much the compliment would mean to him, even if he might not yet be willing to believe it. No one could replace James. But in his way, Will filled the same role. Some days, that worried her, but others, like today, she was grateful for it.

"I'd be disappointed if you did," there's a hint of teasing in her tone, and she continues without giving him much time to dwell on those words, "James always did have difficulty denying himself certain diversions."

[w_zimmerman]

"He was definitely a lady's man," Will agreed, coloring a bit and adding, "And... well, you know. A couple times, I swore he was hitting on me. But that was probably just to make me squirm..."

Either that or he'd known what a Sherlock Holmes fanboy Will had always been and had wondered how far that extended. Probably best not to think about that too much when Watson was probably the most stable and healthiest relationship Magnus had ever had.

[lifewithoutrest]

"I've no doubt he was." Knowing James, it wouldn't have surprised her. She wondered if Will had been tempted. He'd known James so briefly, she supposed he might not have even given it much thought. "James appreciated your mind. But I also believe he saw something of himself in you."

She thought, perhaps, he'd felt it appropriate she'd chosen someone with similar skills as her protégé. He'd known he was dying. He also must have known she would need someone when he was gone. Sometimes she was surprised by how much she still missed him, how much it still hurt.

"I hope you weren't offended by his attention." It's slightly possible she was teasing him again.

[w_zimmerman]

"Offended? No, not offended..."

Confused, probably, was a better word. He'd been younger then, less worldly, and with far worse parental abandonment issues than he had these days. Being hit on by an older, wiser mentor-type had actually appealed a bit. Far too much, and in ways that had been a little unnerving for a guy whose interest had always run exclusively towards females.

It was flattering, too, knowing that Magnus had told Watson things that had made the other man want to get to know Will. It always felt nice to be reminded that she held him in relatively high regard.

"It was weird. He obviously cared about you so much, but he was always so flirty, too..."

Probably best not to mention the fact that more than a little of that flirting had been squarely directed at Magnus' ex.