Part Two
[ How I'm feeling|
Sleepy D:<]
[ What I'm listening to| Burn it down- LP
Title: Don't Hesitate & Go (2/4)
Pairings: Reita/Ruki,Reita/Miyavi
Warnings: Crack pairing? :D
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Reita gave Ruki another critical once over and shook his head as he took another long drink from the bottle and wondered at how one person could drive him bat-shit crazy half of the time, but always on his toes in the most exhilarating of ways the rest of the time, waiting for that next high....that next bit of delusional hope.
Reita groaned and pushed away the light feeling of something brushing up against his nose and cheek. When the feeling came back again, he cracked one eye open and was not at all surprised to see Ruki's face inches from him, a finger playfully brushing against the side of his nose as he observed Reita with a raised eyebrow.
"What are you doing?" He muttered, his voice coming out dry and hoarse so that he had to clear his throat and repeat the question so that Ruki would be able to understand his muttering. He brushed away Ruki's finger and scowled as Ruki chuckled and moved away.
"You drank the rest of that bottle and the other bottle by yourself? You're such an alcoholic." Ruki turned on his heel and disappeared from Reita's immediate viewpoint but he could hear him moving things around in the bathroom. He groaned and stretched and finally opened his eyes completely to see if what Ruki had said was in fact the truth...and lo and behold, two empty bottles stood side by side on the bedside table. He hadn't even remembered opening the second bottle, but the evidence was there. Driven to drinking was never a good sign, especially when Reita had never been much of a drinker to begin with.
"Saki came by a few minutes ago to tell us they want us out front in thirty," Ruki called from the bathroom and Reita sighed heavily. The clock on the wall read noon. Management had let them sleep over for some odd reason that morning, but that was something rare, and something they would never get away with for very long. They were already pushing it, but Reita could have laid stretched out in the chair the entire day with how bad he was feeling at the moment. The after effects of a few bottles of wine had never been kind to his body and he was definitely feeling the worst of it now.
"Hey I have a few aspirins in my bag if you want them," Ruki offered, as he peeked his head out from the bathroom, toothbrush hanging precariously from the side of his mouth. There seemed to be a drum-solo going in Reita's head so he merely nodded to Ruki's offer and held his head in his hands as he leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes. He couldn't understand for the life of him why he had decided to down two bottles of wine. He'd merely signed himself up for a day of misery he was sure.
"Here you go." Reita opened his eyes to find Ruki bending down with his hand outstretched towards him, two aspirins lying gloriously in his palm. To Reita, those aspirins looked like gold.
"Thanks," He muttered as he tilted his head back and took the aspirins and then washed them down with a bottle of soda Ruki offered him.
"I found the vending machines down the hall." Ruki stood back up, hands on hips as he surveyed Reita with a wide grin. He seemed extremely pleased about finding the vending machines, or maybe he was just taking satisfaction from seeing Reita miserable. Either way, he earned a disgruntled humph, that Reita hoped would pass as an acknowledgment to Ruki's offhanded comment.
"I bought enough bon bons and cola to last us a lifetime." Ruki chuckled, and sure enough, he slid one of the packaged bon bons from his pants pocket and unwrapped it before popping it into his mouth. Reita couldn't help but crack a small smile as Ruki grinned down at him, his cheeks puffed out slightly from the bon bon. Not for the first time, he wished that Ruki's sillier side could be caught more often in public....or just caught more often in general.
Ruki was made from a mess of contradictions and confusing wires that Reita had never had an idea how to work or figure out, but he knew one thing for sure.....He had always been the only one to see the more raw,sultry side of Ruki and the humorous side where he did ridiculous things intentionally just to get a laugh. Even if Reita was stuck in some hellish limbo between fighting his desire for Ruki and the need for more when Ruki didn't seem interested in more than sex, he felt honored in a way to be able to see the good, the bad, and the ugly in Ruki. The public saw the image that Ruki wanted them to see, and in Reita's opinion it couldn't have been more false or toned down if it had wanted to be.
"I'm glad you find diabetes amusing," Reita threw out sarcastically, but held up his hand anyway so that Ruki could give him the bon bon from his other pocket. He was suddenly starving and if sugar packed vending machine snacks was all he could get at the moment, he was gladly going to scarf them down. It wasn't as if the band were the epitome of health anyway with their long, stressful working hours, the endless touring, the junk food that was sometimes the only thing they could grab in the middle of a hectic schedule.
"I can't get my hair right and I'm not putting makeup on today." Ruki reached back to the nightstand behind him and slipped on the pair of sunglasses he'd tossed there last night somewhere in the middle of seducing Reita. It was almost mandatory for Ruki to wear glasses that swallowed half of his face when he didn't have time to get someone to make his face up or he was too lazy to do it himself. It was the same for his hair. Like a well oiled machine, Reita reached for the hat on the nightstand and held it out for Ruki as he continued to chew into the bon bon he had no regret whatsoever of devouring. Ruki smiled at him as he took the hat and put it on.
"At least we're staying out of the public eye for most of the day. We're leaving here for Osaka and then rehearsal," Ruki stated as he tilted the hat on his head and then straightened it before tilting it again to the other side. Ruki had always been annoyingly anal retentive....about everything in his life, the complete opposite of what Reita stood for. Reita was going to get up, throw on a simple outfit, brush his hair a couple of times, and then he'd be out the door. He tried to keep things as simple as they could possibly be in a life where ninety percent of the time he was meat for the media and the entire population of Japan, and the other ten percent of his time was spent in a frustrated dance with Ruki. Simple was hard to find, but Reita had to keep searching if he wanted to remain sane.
"Good. I feel like shit," Reita groaned and let his head fall back onto the back of the chair.
"You look like shit." Ruki laughed wickedly and Reita lifted his head to throw a hard glare his way, but Ruki wasn't deterred, was never deterred by Reita's pitiful attempts at pushing him away. Ruki bent down and brushed a few forgotten crumbs from the bon bon Reita had stuffed into his mouth from the front of his shirt. "And you eat like a starved jackal," Ruki added after a moment of thoughtful silence.
"You're wonderful to my self esteem. Do you know that?" Reita muttered, but in spite of himself, he couldn't help but smile just the slightest bit when Ruki rose a challenging eyebrow and grinned down at him conspiratorially. Damn him.
"You were full of self esteem last night," Ruki seemed the need to remind him haughtily and then he was gone, grabbing up his shoulder bag and heading towards the door. "I'll meet you out front. Better hurry, you know how they are when we're late," Ruki called out over his shoulder and then Reita heard the door slam shut. It was only then that he pulled together as much energy as he possibly could to stand and make his way to his suitcase. Today was going to be long and tedius and he was already wishing it was over.
As expected, he was one of the last ones to make it outside. Everyone else had already gathered on the buses lined up out front and a few people stood smoking or talking outside of them while their equipment was loaded up. Uruha arrived a few minutes after Reita, saving him from their manager's wrath and the annoyance of the staff. He could always count on Uruha to arouse management's anger before anyone else had a chance to. Uruha was nearly a professional at it.
"Nice of you to join us." Their manager impatiently tapped at the face of his watch but swiftly turned away from Reita and honed his attention on Uruha who stood lighting up a cigarette and throwing uncaring looks their manager's way. Uruha's appearance today was worn and tired, which spoke volumes to Reita. He'd probably had just about as long a night as Reita had had. With Aoi on a jealous rampage from the previous day, he couldn't have had a fun time. As always, nothing much ever escaped Reita's notice.
Uruha tched and gave Reita a 'go to hell' look when he merely smiled and backed away as their manager made a beeline for the guitarist. Reita could only ignore Uruha's murderous glare and leave him to his fate though as he jumped onto the bus and threw his bag into one of the over head compartments in the aisle. Uruha would forgive him later on as he always did. He just didn't think he could take any more lectures on punctuality and professionalism management was so fond of beating into their heads. Reita's tolerance level today was short, made shorter by Ruki's volatile little performance last night.
"What's with the scarf? Are you expecting snow in July?" Aoi laughed as he leaned over the seat in front of Ruki and gestured toward the black scarf Ruki had wound tightly around his neck as if he were literally trying to strangle himself to death. Reita eyed Ruki's ridiculous attire as he passed him and took the seat directly behind him.
"What does it matter to you?" Ruki retorted irritably and brushed away Aoi's hand as he tugged on the scarf playfully. "What I do with my scarves are none of your business."
"Someone's in a bad mood today. And really....I have no desire to know what you do with your scarves, Ruki." Aoi chuckled and seemed to wait for another reaction from the vocalist but Ruki had already turned away from him and sat staring out of the window, chin resting on his hand. Reita knew that rejection stance. It meant to go the hell away until Ruki deemed it worthy to acknowledge your presence again. But Aoi had never been very good at taking hints.
Aoi leaned farther over the edge of the seat and shot Reita a questioning gaze. Reita shrugged, knowing it was best not to get in the middle of anything, especially anything that went against Ruki. Reita was the one that would have to hear about it later on when everyone else went their separate ways to a world of peace and quiet. Reita wished not for the first time that he knew something of that world...
"Move, Aoi," Uruha growled, a suddenly menacing, towering figure next to them. He tugged on Aoi's shirt sleeve roughly until Aoi was forced to sit down in the seat properly and then he was roughly shoved against the window to make room for Uruha.
"Where the hell did you come from?" Aoi asked, obviously affronted at Uruha's bossy attitude. Reita shook his head and tched low under his breath. Well maybe peace and quiet wasn't what everyone experienced when they were in private. Aoi sat rubbing the shoulder Uruha had pushed against the window and glaring at Uruha.
"Shut up. I told you I wasn't talking to you today," Uruha muttered harshly and sat staring straight ahead with his arms crossed over his chest petulantly. Either Uruha had just been thoroughly scolded for his lateness or he and Aoi had had a falling out last night over the previous days event, though it was probably a mixture of both.
"Then why are you talking to me now? And why are you even sitting with me to begin with?" Aoi asked, his glare suddenly melting away to be replaced by that teasing, arrogant grin that usually had Uruha seeing red. Well he was definitely seeing red now and Reita almost wanted to raise a timid hand and tell Aoi that it was probably best to shut up and just nod to whatever Uruha wanted to yell at him about. Any man knew this much. It was what he usually did when Ruki was seething about something.
It was always best to just be quiet and listen and offer advice when asked, but never...never tease or yell back unless you wanted to be strangled. Reita had broken that little rule last night, but only because he'd been stressed and at his breaking point and sometimes....things got to be too much to suppress.....Aoi just seemed to enjoy getting on Uruha's nerves at times, and those were the moments Reita wished he really were invisible. He was always pulled into the middle of things if he were anywhere close to an argument.
"I know you can't stand to be without me for very long." Aoi leaned over and tried to hug Uruha towards him playfully, but was shoved back again with an icy glare.
"You're the reason I was late this morning. Do you know what he did?" Uruha suddenly turned in his seat and pinned Ruki and Reita both with a questioning gaze, waiting for them to ask him what had happened so he could go into a long rant about how much of an idiot Aoi was without ever really admitting that they'd fucked each other and the whole argument was probably some jealous lover's spat. Reita inwardly rolled his eyes at the ridiculousness of it all and decided that he was definitely in no mood to hear a rerun of last week's events.
"Bathroom break," He announced loudly and slipped into the aisle and made his way farther back towards the latrine at the end of the bus. He really didn't need to use it of course, and before he was even able to reach it, he stumbled as he tripped over something laying in the aisle and barely had time to catch himself from falling face first to the floor.
"What-" He began as he looked back and stopped short of cursing whoever had tripped him when he found himself face to face with Miyavi once again. The other man was grinning up at him, his leg still lying haphazardly across the aisle, his foot resting on the seat directly across from him.
"Might want to watch where you're going," Miyavi informed him with a little wink and then he leaned back against the window, his whole demeanor lazy and mellow. He shouldn't have been surprised to see Miyavi on the bus. There was a scattering of different bands on all the buses but this was the first time he had seen Miyavi choose to ride on the same one as Reita's band. He was usually off with the others or on his own somewhere. It just seemed a bit odd that Reita was suddenly running into Miyavi everywhere he turned when before, Miyavi had barely even given him the time of day.
It was a spur of the moment decision that Reita glanced at the open seat across the aisle from Miyavi and decided to take it. It was better than sitting next to a fighting Uruha and Aoi, and Ruki never wanted to sit next to him after the sort of night they had had last night. It was another of those unspoken rules Reita was used to obeying like an obedient pet, though he despised it more than Ruki would ever know...mainly because Ruki shrugged off his irritations and there was never any room for argument. He settled back into the seat and glanced over at Miyavi who still had his leg lying haphazardly in the aisle and was staring back at him with a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.
"Decided to come sit back here in the reject seats?" Miyavi asked, chuckling softly. Reita shrugged and then looked back to where Uruha and Aoi were still bickering back and forth and Ruki was leaned over the seat laughing at them, enjoying the show obviously.
"I don't like to get in the middle of things," Reita muttered. Actually, he didn't like being anywhere near all the drama that was a constant thing in the band. He had enough of his own drama to deal with when it came to what he was doing with Ruki....
"You don't seem like the type that gets into anything at all," Miyavi commented. Reita wasn't sure how to take that comment or what to say in return so he just shrugged again and looked out the window as the bus pulled away from the hotel and headed out onto the highway.
"What I meant was, you just don't seem like a confrontational person. You like to keep to yourself." Reita turned back to see Miyavi still looking at him with that conspiratorial grin on his face.
"Well you don't seem that way at all, so why are you back here with the rejects?" Reita suddenly blurted out and then felt his face color at how harsh his words sounded to both Miyavi and himself. "I mean...." He trailed off, not knowing what he had meant in the first place. He just didn't understand why Miyavi of all people was in the back of a bus talking to him when they'd barely spoken two words to one another before last night.
"You're different," Miyavi laughed. "You don't do so much of this-" Here Miyavi used his hand to mimic someone who talked a lot. "People say I talk too much, I laugh too loudly, I'm annoying...." Here Miyavi's gaze traveled over to where the rest of the band was still making a lot of noise with the exception of Kai who was sitting with their manager, headphones stuck in his ears, and wearing an expression that let Reita know that he was irritated. "Sometimes I guess, it's nice to be around someone a little quiet." Reita inwardly cringed at Miyavi's seemingly harmless words.
"Quiet, meek, pushover. That's me," Reita muttered. It always hit a bitter cord inside him when someone insisted on calling him quiet or shy. He wasn't really either of those things. He just didn't have much to say around people who talked so much besides Ruki. It was impossible for anyone to get in a word with talkative people sometimes. He wouldn't even call himself shy really. How shy could he be when he ran around on stage in front of thousands of people for a living? But pushover.....that was the one thing that always rang true. Miyavi gave him a curious look and then glanced over to Ruki once again just as Reita's gaze was pulled in that direction as it always was.
"I know Ruki doesn't like me that much," Miyavi commented offhandedly, but was grinning as he said it. Miyavi's smiling seemed to be contagious as Reita felt a smile of his own tug at the corners of his mouth despite himself.
"What makes you think that?" Reita was sure anyone who knew Ruki, knew he wanted to throttle Miyavi every time the other man was within ten feet of him. He noticed Ruki's sunglasses were always in reaching distance when Miyavi was known to be around and Reita was sure it was as much to hide how much Ruki rolled his eyes in Miyavi's presence as it was to hide his unmade face. Reita couldn't help but chuckle to himself at the familiar mental image that brought on.
"I think if he could glare daggers, I'd be mutilated by now. I like him though, even if he doesn't like me. He's fun to tease." Miyavi chuckled. "Don't you agree?"'
"I wouldn't know," Reita mumbled. He could think of a few ways he had teased Ruki, but it definitely wasn't outside of the bedroom and was nowhere near Miyavi's train of thought. He had done it years ago when there had been nothing between them but the closest of friendships. He remembered a time when he could ruffle Ruki's hair and joke about the vocalist's height and have Ruki glare at him and tease right back. But once they had begun this frenzied and insane dance with one another in the bedroom, things had gotten....too complicated, and even stiff sometimes. Reita craved the touches of silliness Ruki afforded him when they were alone. It seemed more intimate almost than sharing their bodies.
"Oh?" Was all Miyavi said, and there was a hint of disbelief in his voice, as if he knew Reita was lying to him. And then things fell silent between them once more. Reita sat back into the seat and leaned his head against the bus window.
"I'm so damn bored around here," Miyavi broke the silence between them again a moment later as he pressed feet against the seat in front of him and fumbled with the music player and headphones in his hand. Reita watched him curiously, sensing that underlying restlessness and hyperactivity Miyavi was known for on stage. In any other situation that constant energy would have made Reita nervous but at the moment he welcomed it. It was relief from the sometimes oppressiveness he felt around Ruki after they had spent the night together. Perhaps it was his own fault, holding that torch burning behind his back when he should have snuffed it out long ago. It only made things a spiderweb of complications, something Ruki had wanted to avoid when they'd started their little secret affair. As always, it all fell to Reita.
"Is that why you decided to ride with us? Thought we'd give you a little entertainment?" Reita asked, sitting up in the seat and draping an arm over the back of it as he honed his attention on the restless man across the aisle.
"Well your band is known for it's drama and yes, I'm being thoroughly entertained already." Miyavi laughed under his breath, his eyes still glued to the music player in his hand. "But I don't know, I needed a change. It gets stuffy on my own bus and I've already been around to everyone else. I thought I'd try hanging out with the loners for once if they'd have me." Miyavi glanced over at Reita and gave him another of those unreadable winks. Reita still couldn't tell if he was teasing or being cheeky or just being an asshole with that sort of wink.
"That's us," Reita acknowledged honestly. He did have to admit that when it came to mingling, the band as a whole wasn't very good at it. Aoi had a close friend in every band in a hundred mile radius it seemed, and Uruha was social when alcohol was involved, Kai even mingled with everyone when he felt like it, but when it came to he and Ruki, they tended to stand back with their own band and staff. If they were invited out they would go out of politeness, but that was one thing he and Ruki had in common; they weren't typical social butterflies. Ruki was just too busy, and too annoyed by people in general, and Reita....well he was everything anyone had ever labeled him as, what Miyavi had so graciously called him out as....a loner. His best friend had always been Uruha, and the rest of the guys were all he needed most times.
"You think if I invited you all out drinking tonight, you'd go? Or would you all deny me?" Miyavi asked, arching a questioning eyebrow in Reita's direction before turning back to his music player and missing the clueless shrug Reita gave him. Who knew when it came to all of them. Uruha would come most definitely even if it was just to make love to a few bottles of alcohol before bed, and Aoi and Kai might come if they didn't have engagements elsewhere, and Reita could see himself agreeing to go out of boredom, but Ruki was a complete mystery there. He'd probably make up some excuse to avoid Miyavi, but then again, he could just as easily decide to come along to spite Miyavi in some sort of warped revenge that Miyavi would probably just laugh at.
"Are you asking us out drinking tonight then?" Reita asked, wondering at this sudden change in Miyavi's attitude towards them. He had always gotten the impression that Miyavi was secretly mocking them behind their backs or just found the other bands in the company much more interesting. Or maybe that was just Reita's insecurities speaking for him, the shadow that stood in corners and waited to be acknowledged in a group of people.
"That would be my intentions," Miyavi teased, tossing his music player back into the bag sitting beside him on the seat and then leaning over it so that he was closer to the edge of the aisle as if he wanted to confide in Reita a secret. It made Reita lean over even more, unconsciously.
"Alcohol brings out the truth you know." Miyavi chuckled and Reita raised an eyebrow at the subtle challenge he somehow found in Miyavi's words.
"That's not always a good thing, especially around here," Reita muttered and as if on cue, Uruha came storming down the aisle, an expression of fury plastered to his face that made Reita shrink back in his corner of the seat. He hoped for a split moment that he would somehow be invisible to Uruha, but it was rare he ever had any sort of luck and as predicted, Uruha threw himself into the seat next to him with a lurch of the bus.
"I'm tired of idiots," Uruha sighed in exasperation, arms crossed over his chest. He looked to Reita as if he expected Reita to jump to his defense but one look over the seat at Aoi looking forlornly at them told him it'd be best to stay neutral as always. Ruki had pulled a hat over his face and seemed to be preoccupied with sleep, though he was sure the vocalist had had a better time at that last night than Reita had curled up in a chair. Reita shrugged and desperately hoped Uruha wouldn't push him to take sides.
"What's got your panties in a knot?" Miyavi asked, chin resting in the palm of his hand as if he found Uruha the most amusing creature he'd ever seen. If he had come here to be entertained he would not be disappointed, that much was for sure. Miyavi blew a bubble from the bubblegum he'd been chewing and then popped it as he waited for Uruha to tell him a story.
"Some people are just infuriating. Tell me something, since we don't know each other well. Do I come off as a whore to you?" Uruha asked, using his usual bluntness, but from what little Reita had learned about Miyavi over the span of their tour together, he was more afraid of Miyavi answering with his own usual bluntness. Two blunt people never equaled a good situation. Reita ducked his head and refused to acknowledge Uruha or the answer he knew was coming. Reita didn't know what was worse, the fact that Miyavi had to stop and think about the question or that he laughed at Uruha, but either way, Reita prepared himself for an outburst.
"From what I've seen, I think you're good at seducing an audience, but as for a whore?" Miyavi shrugged. "I wouldn't call you that at all. I've been called worse and I just smile and hug whoever insulted me. The only thing we both are for sure is attention whores, all entertainers are." Miyavi leaned back in the seat and grinned as Uruha's infuriated expression melted into something Reita could have called admiration.
"I don't know why Ruki hates you, you're a lot more tolerable than half the people on this bus." Uruha chuckled and Reita couldn't help but nudge him in the side at the careless honesty he was known for. But Reita was surprised at Uruha's pleasant reaction to say the least.
"What?" Uruha growled, moving away from Reita with a frown before turning his attention back to Miyavi and forgetting Reita's existence once more. "I'd hug the idiot that insulted me, but then that would just be a boost to his enormous ego. I don't need to inflate him anymore. And he wonders why I get along with other people better than him." Uruha rolled his eyes, and Reita mirrored him as he gazed out the window once more. His hearing tuned out naturally as it did when Uruha started in on something he'd rather not listen to. He couldn't feel bad because Uruha did the same to everyone around him on a daily basis. Uruha and Miyavi's conversation became a soft buzzing background noise as he leaned his head against the window and slowly drifted off to sleep.
He was woken by the lurching stop of the bus and Uruha shaking his arm sometime later. He looked up to find Uruha standing over him and the others filing out into the aisle to leave the bus. Miyavi was already jumping off the bus and trailing Ruki into the building, already a sign of havoc to come. Reita sat up and blinked in the bright sunlight filtering in through the window.
"Are you coming drinking with us later tonight?" Uruha pulled down his bag from the overhead compartment and waited for Reita to stretch and wake up fully. Miyavi must have worked his magic on Uruha and gave him the tempting offer of alcohol.
"Yeah, if everyone else is coming," He muttered, not relishing the idea of spending an evening alone with Miyavi and a drunk Uruha. If Uruha was blunt and rude sober, he was blunt and rude and....he hated to say it, but a whore while under the influence of alcohol. Miyavi just didn't know Uruha like Reita knew him. This was why he sympathized with Aoi more than his best friend.
"We'll drag Ruki by his perfect hair if we have to and Aoi will come because....." Uruha trailed off uncertainly and Reita grinned, suddenly feeling vindictive and cranky after last night and barely any sleep.
"Because he'll need to be on his best behavior," Reita finished with a laugh. He wanted to add more to that knowing statement but had a feeling he'd get clocked on the side of his head for it, and he didn't feel like nursing a black eye today. Aoi would be extremely meek and accommodating tonight, Reita could put money on that. He'd better be if he wanted to be let into Uruha's bed later on. It almost reminded Reita of his own situation, except when Ruki didn't want him, there was no amount of ass kissing that could sway him otherwise.
That thought stuck in his head as he followed Uruha into the building and then took his seat next to Ruki in the studio. Ruki glanced at him momentarily and then looked away and Reita had the sudden urge to reach for him. He hated how aloof around him Ruki could be at times in public, especially after sleeping with him the previous night. And then the dance would start again after a few days. Ruki would touch his arm, maybe even hang onto it, grab his thigh playfully, pull him into a corner and kiss him, get him hard, and then leave him wanting. Ruki would tease him for days before pinning him down to some bed or the floor and fuck the living daylights out him, and then the snub and the cycle would start all over again.
He watched Ruki, knowing full well that he was staring in full view of everyone else in the room, but they were all preoccupied and Ruki was too bent on ignoring him to care. Even Ruki in profile was perfect in Reita's eyes; perfect, beautiful, and completely ruthless when he wanted to be. He wasn't even sure if Ruki knew how much he tore Reita to shreds on a daily basis. It was something Reita wasn't keen on letting anyone know, Ruki especially. When their manager walked in, he finally allowed himself to look away, and to stop the thoughts circling in his head. He began to look forward to a night of drowning himself in alcohol and numbness.
******
"Pour me another one!" Uruha's voice rang out through the crowded bar as he held his cup high over his head and waved it around. He was already plastered and it was only......Reita checked the watch on his wrist...nine o'clock at night. Reita slid down in his seat and shook his head while laughing at Uruha.
"Well I could if you'd put the damn cup down. I can't pour it over your head, unless that's what you want me to do," Aoi chuckled. Uruha gave him a disgruntled look but none the less lowered his glass so Aoi could pour him another round of some indistinguishable alcohol in a dark bottle. Reita realized he didn't know what he'd been drinking for the past hour, but that was fine. He was sure Kai beside him didn't know either and so they were sharing a corner together, blissfully ignorant.
"Hey, pour me another one too." Miyavi set his glass down hard onto the table in front of him and Aoi grinned and leaned over to pour him another shot as well, most of which ended up all over the table. He was quite sure that no one at that table needed anything more. Even Ruki had been drinking his fair share and was even leaning against him on his other side while Kai spilled more alcohol on Reita's leg than what was going into his mouth. He jumped at the feeling of a hand on his upper thigh and looked down to find Ruki looking up at him as he rested his head against Reita's shoulder. Reita knew that look well. Ruki's eyes were heavy with lust and alcohol and Reita was sure if he did try to bring Ruki back to his hotel room, he'd pass out before their clothes were off.
"You're drunk," He whispered and Ruki cracked a small smile at that. Reita loved that smile, had been known to make a fool of himself in front of Ruki just to see it. He wanted to pull Ruki away now and just push him down into the sheets naked and just have him smile up at him and moan into his ear. He'd get off that way without even a touch to his body.
"I know I am. So are you," Ruki whispered back, his breath hot against his cheek, the scent of heady alcohol strong in his nose. Ruki pulled on the ridiculous scarf still wound around his neck and looked up at Reita imploringly. "I want you to do what you did to me last night. I don't think I've ever come that much...." Ruki's fingers dug into Reita's thigh and Reita hissed low under his breath at the pain Ruki inflicted and at his words...He was already hard before Ruki's fingers inched closer and then ghosted over his lap. He pressed his hips back into the seat as Ruki cupped him through his jeans. Kai was thankfully working on pouring everyone the last of the alcohol as Reita covered Ruki's hand with his own but didn't push it away.
"We don't even have to go back to the hotel," Ruki murmured next to Reita's ear and a shiver crept down his spine. "Just take me to the bathroom, take me outside.....anything, just fuck me." Reita's eyes slipped closed as Ruki's hand began caressing him. He wasn't sure if he would have cared if anyone had looked over to them sitting in the corner against one another with Ruki's hand firmly in his lap under the table. All he was able to feel was the dizzying effect of the alcohol and the pleasure Ruki's hand elicited. He wanted that hand inside of his pants and he didn't care how they managed it, but he needed Ruki against him.
"Or do you want me to just get you off right here?" Ruki whispered, one finger flicking playfully at the button to his pants. "I could do it and no one would ever notice. Just be quiet. I know you can do that." Ruki grinned and pressed that same finger to his lips to indicate silence. Reita let his head fall back against the seat and he swallowed hard. He would have let Ruki do anything at that moment. He knew it was half the alcohol's fault and half his own pitiful desire for Ruki in any form he could get him. Gone were his frustrations of last night, his irritation, and in it's place was only an appetite he wasn't sure he would ever satiate. He kept his eyes closed as Ruki unbuttoned his pants and his hand dipped inside. Kai had crawled over a few laps and was stumbling away from the table and Reita silently mouthed a thank you to the good luck he was suddenly afforded.
He was almost in a trance, fueled by alcohol and desire with Ruki's hand in his pants. The world spun behind his closed lids and every sensation he could possibly feel centered in his lap. He held back a groan as Ruki stroked him slowly, teasingly. He bit down hard into his lip as he tried to control himself and when he chanced a glance at Ruki he found him watching him with a smirk, his eyes dark. There was always a certain look in Ruki's eyes when he wanted Reita badly and it always got Reita off so quickly, almost too quickly. He wanted to come all over Ruki's hand and if only he could grab the back of his head and pull him in for a kiss. He wanted to bite something other than his bottom lip. He wanted Ruki against his lips, the taste of him on his tongue...
"Aoi!" Uruha screeched and Reita's head shot up from the back of the seat to see what the matter was, his heart racing. For a moment he'd been lost in a haze where only Ruki and the sensation in his lap existed, and he'd forgotten that they were at a table full of people. Ruki withdrew his hand slowly and sat back, arms crossed over his chest, that smirk still ghosting his lips. Reita calmed his breathing and tried to discreetly button his pants back up. He cursed in his mind at their sudden interruption as he looked over at Aoi who'd somehow thrown Uruha over his shoulder in some demonstration of strength and Uruha was laughing and slapping at his back. Reita scowled and reached for the half glass of alcohol Kai had poured him from the now empty bottle and threw it back.
The liquid hit the back of his throat and burned all the way down. That was exactly what he needed right now. He wanted to be drunk with his pants around his ankles and Ruki against the wall. It seemed Aoi was going for something similar as he spanked Uruha on the ass and then sat him down on the table. Uruha's hands flew out to steady himself and he sent the rest of the drinks on the table scattering. Obviously their discretion was non-existent with the excuse of everyone being shit faced. If only Reita had remembered to bring his phone, he'd have captured this moment for later blackmail use.
For some reason, his gaze was pulled back across the table to where Miyavi was sitting and he was surprised to find the other man looking over at him, that indistinguishable smile on his face. Reita glanced away quickly, his face heating. He couldn't help but wonder if Miyavi had seen Ruki against him, whispering into his ear, his hand moving suggestively in Reita's lap...
"I'm ready to get out of here, Aoi," Uruha declared loudly. Uruha always got loud and demanding with alcohol in his system and Reita knew he'd be hearing him the rest of the night seeing as how Uruha's room was next door to his own. Reita sighed heavily and turned back to Ruki who was lighting up a cigarette. Ruki leaned back against the seat and took a long drag as he looked Reita up and down. Sometimes Reita wished he could hear Ruki's thoughts. It would make things so much easier and maybe he wouldn't feel like a blind man running into walls when he was around the other man. Ruki had always been so hard to read, even stumbling and drunk and horny. He could turn in a second.
"Want to get out of here?"Reita asked, hoping Ruki hadn't suddenly changed his mind or had that little episode only been a tease to drive him crazy until Ruki decided to open his door to him again? He could never tell. Ruki shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette, his eyes still heavy with too much sex. The table was beginning to empty of people. Aoi and Uruha had already disappeared somewhere and Kai was still missing in action.
"I'm ready to puke," Was all Ruki muttered before he dropped his cigarette into the ashtray in the middle of the table and then awkwardly stood and stumbled out of the booth. Reita watched him go, his jaw clenched. He held himself back from going after Ruki and released the balled fist he'd been holding against his thigh for the past five minutes. He knew rejection when he saw it thanks to Ruki's schooling.
"Hey," A familiar voice called and he looked up to find Miyavi leaning against the table. "I don't want to leave you, but Aoi's having a hard time keeping Uruha in his clothes back there and Kai's vomiting on the side of the car. I'm pretty sure that means it's time to get out of here." Miyavi laughed but Reita only shrugged and hauled himself out of the booth, feeling too sober from moments ago.
"You got another of those?" He gestured towards the empty bottle lying on it's side. Miyavi shrugged and gave him a curious look.
"The joys of mini bars in hotel rooms," Miyavi chuckled and led the way outside to the waiting van where the rest of the band was piled inside. Reita followed, a curious, excitement teeming in the pit of his stomach. It felt like anticipation, but anticipation for what?
"We don't have a mini bar in our room," Reita grumbled. It would have been heavenly to have access to a slew of mind-numbing tonics in his room while Ruki snubbed him. At least it would make things a little easier. It wouldn't matter where he slept tonight, he just knew he'd be sleeping alone.
"No, you have the fun jacuzzi." Miyavi laughed at the frown Reita threw him. He hated the way Miyavi seemed to know more about certain situations than he should have, and he was walking too straight and steady after all those drinks he'd downed earlier while the rest of them fell over one another.
Reita settled into the backseat between Kai who had already passed out against the far window and Aoi and Uruha who were almost in one another's laps. Obviously Uruha had found it in his heart to forgive Aoi. Miyavi took the seat in front of Reita next to Ruki, but like Kai, Ruki was leaned against the window, blissfully unconscious, so there was no chance of any cat fight breaking out. Reita smiled to himself as he watched Ruki sleeping and then shifted his gaze to Miyavi, where it stayed for the remainder of the ride.
Go to Part Three
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I was trying to get this out quickly! I hope you feel better Ren, and maybe this helps a bit?? lol o_________o How is it going so far guys? :oo