New Drabble: a special kind of double

[liebesfic]

Title: a special kind of double
Author: liebedance
Character(s): Petunia (Evans) Dursley, Lily (Evans) Potter
Rating: G
Word Count: 300ish
Warnings: Liberal use of parallel structure
Summary: Petunia catches a glimpse of Lily in a small muggle market
Author's Notes: Written for a prompt given to me by museme87.

Comments

[museme87]

You own second person POV, love. Just saying. I loved the use of parallel structure here, especially, and how Petunia both hates and loves Lily all in this one moment. Very true to canon, if I do say so myself.

What is even better about this, though, is the fact that I can really see your style developing. We've known each other for about a year now, dear, and have been exchanging fics for just about that long. You've come such a long way in really honing your skills and developing your voice. It's really brilliant, and I'm going to pester you to continue writing.

[anywhere_but_nj]

AWWWWW. You made me feel very bad for Petunia here. Aw, sister love. :(

a special kind of double

[mccopaul]

Interesting, I've never seen a story with Pentunia as the subject. Kind of a bittersweet story. It's not very easy making Pentunia a sympathetic character. I would suppose this is why there aren't many stories about her. I like it when authors try the more difficult characters, they have the pontential to be more interesting.

[bluealoe]

This is so bittersweet. I like the suggestion that Petunia still loves her sister, still thinks about the way things used to be. But the distance is just too great to bridge. They've chosen their paths...but the what-ifs remain.

Life is strange sometimes. Not in the way that your sister is a witch
I love how this is so matter-of-fact, she doesn't even question that Lily is a witch anymore.

Not even in the way that sometimes - just sometimes - you wish you, too, had her power.
*nods* That gets to the root of the issue; Lily is special, and she isn't.

No, life is strange in completely unexpected and utterly normal way
This is just perfect.

I'm not generally a fan of second-person, but it works well in this story. Good job, Leah. :)

[outlineofwinter]

So you rocked the second person here.

Also, as mentioned above, the parallel structure worked very nicely. The lack of names really contributed the feel of things, because it very much gives this story a feel that there are only the sisters and that everyone else are sort of bit players in the moment captured. The emotion here was very clear and well written. You're a fantastic writer, seriously.