FIC for xnymphadorax: "A Man's Greatest Treasure"
Title: A Man's Greatest Treasure
Author: torino10154
Recipient: xnymphadorax
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~9,000
Warnings: Intercourse (both aged seventeen), fellatio, masturbation, fluff, severe lack of canon compliance.
Summary: Rather than follow his mother's footsteps into Slytherin House, Severus chooses a different path hoping it means he will be able to remain friends with Lily Evans.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR.
Author's Notes: xnymphadorax asked for "AU, fluff, what-if's, a world in which Sev had made different choices." I do so hope you enjoy this. Thank you to my betas J, V, S, and P for their feedback, support, and SPAG. Any mistakes that remain are my own. Title comes from Deathly Hallows.
A Man's Greatest Treasure
~*~
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
How blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
-Rumi, 1207-1273
~*~
1971
As the Hogwarts Express neared its destination, several of the older students came through the compartment, reminding everyone to put on their robes and be ready to disembark in an orderly fashion as soon as the train stopped. As the prefects - as Severus was sure these older students were - opened the door, he saw the passageway quickly filling with students eager to leave the train. Lily grinned widely at her traveling companion as she stood.
"This is so exciting, Severus! I can hardly stand it," she said as she pulled her robes on. Severus had put his on practically the moment they boarded the train, his threadbare Muggle attire embarrassing him as usual. At least once their home clothes were hidden under their robes, everyone could begin on level ground.
"I hope we are sorted into the same house," he said as he pulled his trunk down from the overhead rack.
She pulled the green ribbon with the ornate cream colored lace overlay from her hair - it matched the trim on her skirt perfectly, just as her mother intended, Severus suspected - and took his hand in hers. She began wrapping their clasped hands together with the ribbon.
"What on earth are you doing?" Severus whispered to her. He felt uncomfortable; it was unusual enough that his best friend was a girl but to been seen by passers-by with a ribbon wrapped around their clasped hands would be mortifying.
"We'll promise right now to be the best of friends, Severus. No matter how we are sorted."
"This is absurd," Severus protested.
"I swear," Lily said firmly, her eyes widening and the emerald irises sparkling with mischief.
He glared at her, causing her to giggle. "That doesn't work on me anymore."
"I'm not certain it ever did," he mumbled. She laughed loudly.
"Come on, Severus, repeat after me. I swear-"
"I swear," he muttered under his breath.
"To remain your best friend," she continued, her bright green eyes looking straight into his black ones.
"To remain your best friend." His voice broke and he cleared his throat.
"Forever," she finished quietly.
"Forever," he whispered.
They stood and looked at each other silently for a moment before Lily exclaimed, "Brilliant!" She unwound the ribbon and reaching into her robes, retrieved a small leather satchel. She set it down on the seat and opened the bag. Inside were sewing supplies: thread, several needles, and a small pair of scissors. She cut the ribbon in half and handed one half to Severus. "Now we can each keep a piece."
"What am I going to do with a girl's hair ribbon, Lily?" Severus asked, furrowing his brow.
"Dunno. But don't lose it or I'll be cross," she said sternly but her eyes were dancing.
He put the ribbon in the pocket of his robes. When he got to his new dorm, he intended to put it in his trunk along with the Slytherin green gloves his mum had knitted for him.
~*~
Severus looked over at Lily as she took the Sorting Hat from her head and sat down at the Gryffindor table, where she was greeted warmly. He'd told her on the train that he was going to be a Slytherin, just like his mother. But he knew deep down inside that he would lose her if he went into the house of the snake. They had been the enemies of Gryffindor since the days of the founders.
Severus looked from the Sorting Hat to Lily once, twice, maybe a thousand times as Professor McGonagall made her way from Evans through the better part of the alphabet. Finally, in her crisp Scottish brogue, the stern Deputy Headmistress called, "Severus Snape."
Walking slowly, Severus finally closed the distance and sat stiffly on the stool before the hat was placed on his head. He knew he was meant to be a Slytherin; he knew it and yet...
The hat spoke almost the instant it fell over his eyes. "You would do well in Slytherin, just like your ancestors before you." But... Severus thought of Lily.
"Ah, I see you are loyal." What would his mother say if he wasn't sorted into Slytherin?
"And brave."
"But I think, yes, you can do great things if I put you in-"
"RAVENCLAW!"
Lifting the hat from his head, he made his way over to sit with the other Ravenclaws and caught the beaming smile on Lily's face as she applauded him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard, "I'm Richard Davies. Welcome to Ravenclaw, Snape." He sat down and the other boys greeted him kindly.
At the end of the feast, the Prefects lined up all the first years. It was chaotic and crowded but Severus searched the room, hoping to see Lily before they went up to their dorms.
Just when he had given up hope, he heard her voice behind him laughing, "Thought you were a natural born Slytherin, Severus."
"Quiet, Lily," he shushed her, looking around to see if anyone had overheard. "Imagine what this lot would say if they heard you." He paused for a moment before continuing quietly. "Besides, I want to be my own man."
And not follow in either of his parents’ footsteps. Whose were worse he couldn't say: his mother who was a witch who hardly ever did any magic or his father who didn't believe anyone should. Severus would be a fine wizard indeed, make a name for himself somehow.
"I wonder if we'll have any classes together?" she said smiling.
He hoped they would but didn't express it in so many words. "We'll find out tomorrow morning," he replied stoically.
"See you later!" She turned, her red hair streaming behind her, and disappeared into the crowd. He watched the space where she might have been until Davies stepped into his view.
"Alright there, Snape?" he asked with a smile. "Let's go get you settled with your dorm mates."
Taking a final look around, he followed the other Ravenclaws out of the Great Hall.
*******
1972
"I look ridiculous," Severus complained. "I despise waving a wand around like a Muggle film actor about to shout 'Abracadabra'. If they had any idea how close they were to casting the killing curse I suspect they'd keep their mouths shut."
Lily laughed. "Severus, this is how Professor Flitwick instructed us. For this spell the flourish is part of the motion. Watch me," she said and then turned away from him. She lifted her wand then brought it down swiftly, twisting her wrist just so. He mimicked her movement but the spell faltered.
"Charms is an awful class anyway," Severus said as he tucked his wand back into his robes. "I much prefer the precision of Potions. All this flailing around is pretentious."
"Well then, I will excel in Charms, you in Defense, and we will both become experts in Potions," she replied seriously. "Just let me show you how to do this one." She took his hand and placed it over hers.
"You bring your arm down to here." She stopped then began rotating her wrist to the right. "Now continue through." At the touch of her hand Severus felt somewhat light-headed and his skin was tingling. Was it her magic channeling through to him? He'd never heard of that before. But he had his hand over hers while she held her wand. He dropped her hand. The feeling remained. He wasn't sure what to make of it.
Pulling his wand back out from his pocket, he mimicked her movements several more times before he perfected the spell.
"Well done, Sev!" Lily said and gave him a quick hug. "I knew you could do it."
~*~
Staring morosely into the fire, Severus wondered whether he should have gone home for Christmas after all. There were very few students left at Hogwarts, especially of the younger ones like him, as most parents wanted their children home for the holidays. His mother had asked him whether he wanted to come home but he thought he'd prefer to be alone.
His first year he had gone home for the holidays; he hated to admit it, but he had been slightly homesick. Being back there again, however, certainly cured him of that. His father's brother visited and proceeded to remind him that decent young men didn't have long hair. At the time, his only reached his shoulders. It was a bit longer now - a fairly harmless expression of the defiant streak that the Snapes brought out in him. He smirked as he imagined what his uncle would have said had he seen him wearing robes!
He pulled the green ribbon from his pocket and idly played with it. He'd never managed to put it into his trunk. Instead it became a sort of talisman. His fingers wandered over the smooth side when he was pensive and rubbed roughly over the lace side when he was agitated. He always carried it in the pocket of his robes.
Sentimental rubbish, he said to himself and yet couldn't bear to leave it behind.
Now, as he sat on the floor, listening to the fire crackling, he wished he'd gone home for Christmas hols because then he might have been able to go over to Lily's house, maybe on Boxing Day or on New Year's Eve. Surely she would have pulled a cracker with him, put on the silly hat, and laughed at whatever inane joke was found inside.
Severus didn't really want to enjoy his Christmas dinner but as always the food was divine, so much better than at home - he'd never even had goose for Christmas before - and it was amusing to see the professors let their hair down a little. Well, not McGonagall of course. He was certain she'd be able to drink an entire bottle of single malt whisky without anyone noticing a change in her behaviour.
As he rose to leave, the Headmaster said, "Severus, I believe I have something that belongs to you." He held out a square box, wrapped in red and gold paper.
"Sir?" Severus asked as he took the parcel from Professor Dumbledore.
"One of your friends asked me to deliver this to you. Happy Christmas," the man said, his blue eyes smiling behind his half-moon spectacles.
Severus smiled in spite of himself. "Thank you, Sir. Happy Christmas." He nearly ran back to his dormitory to open it.
He picked at the wrapping paper. There was no note on the outside but he was sure it was from Lily; who else would get him a gift? His suspicion was confirmed when he took the lid off the box and inside he found two oranges and a bar of chocolate. The note simply said, "Happy Christmas, Severus. Your friend, Lily."
He'd never had a happier one.
*******
1973
Severus sat nervously at the dinner table. He really should have refused, but Mrs Evans actually seemed as if she wanted him to come to dinner. That was unfathomable as far as he was concerned.
He found one of his father's not quite worn-out shirts. His cinched-up navy blue trousers didn't suit the brown shoes he wore but that could not be helped. He'd never been able to figure out why his mother couldn't transfigure his clothing to fit better. He'd tried to do it himself and ruined a perfectly serviceable pair of trousers in the attempt. When another pair was set for the rubbish bin, he'd try again.
Lily was sitting next to him grinning from ear to ear while Petunia glared at both of them from across the table. It always surprised him that Lily would defend her sister no matter how much or how often she was hurt by her. Severus knew from Lily that Petunia had been told that if someone scowled, their face might freeze that way, and he itched to pull out his wand and make it come true. He lowered his eyes and snickered to himself. Lily reached over and pinched his arm, then began to giggle, her body shaking with suppressed laughter.
Finally, Mr Evans entered the room and sat down at the head of the table. Once he was sitting, each of them placed their napkin on their lap and Mrs Evans came in carrying a steaming shepherd's pie.
"It smells delicious, Mum," Lily said.
"You do like shepherd's pie, don't you, Severus?" Mr Evans said happily as his wife heaped a large portion onto his plate.
"Yes, Sir," Severus answered curtly as he was still unnerved by the Evans's kindness and hospitality. Dinners at his home were nothing like this. They occasionally ate like this but only when his father received a bonus at work, which happened less and less often these days. Usually Severus threw together whatever was in the fridge.
He lifted his fork to begin eating, when he realized no one else had started yet. Lily looked at Severus and shook her head, so he set his fork down and waited until everyone had been served. He usually served his parents and his father always began eating immediately.
Severus felt extremely uncomfortable as a guest, unaware of the social niceties. He looked up and saw Petunia giving him a wide smirk and looked forward to hexing her at his earliest convenience.
His thoughts were interrupted by Mr Evans saying, "Tuck in." He then finally dug into his food, cleaning his plate rather quickly, before anyone else in fact.
"Would you care for more, Severus?" Mrs Evans asked, although there was very little left in the casserole.
"I-" Severus started.
"Of course he would, Mum," Lily finished for him and Mrs Evans put the last scoopfuls onto his plate.
Petunia stood and followed her mother into the kitchen saying she would help with pudding. Severus ate quietly, while Lily engaged her father with stories of dinners in the Great Hall.
"We don't have much money either, Mum." They all heard Petunia's voice coming from the kitchen. "Why should we feed him, too?"
Severus blushed furiously, horrified that the Evanses pitied him, and that was why they had invited him to dinner. Mr Evans’s brow furrowed but he remained quiet. Severus supposed he didn't want to cause a scene. Best to pretend nothing had happened.
"Tuney, go to your room this instant," Mrs Evans replied sternly. "We never speak of our guests that way." The sound of heavy footfalls echoed through the room as the older girl climbed the staircase.
"Ah, pudding." Mr Evans smiled as his wife entered the room.
"I'm sorry, Sev," Lily mouthed, giving his hand a quick squeeze.
The blush returned to his cheeks. "It's OK," he mumbled. And when he looked at her again, she smiled, and he knew that it was.
*******
1974
"Don't you just love this song?" Lily said as she placed the needle down onto the Waterloo single once more.
He snorted. "Not nearly as much as you do, Lily." He opened the book he'd been reading as he sprawled on the floor of her sitting room. The title read Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen, a red and green demon decorating the cover.
"Are you reading that book again?" she asked exasperatedly. "I've told you a thousand times I have no idea why my aunt and uncle bought it for me. It's sort of creepy actually."
"The only things in it that are true were clearly accidentally included. My mum knows all about making amulets. She says it's rubbish," Severus complained.
"Why do you keep picking it up then?"
"Maybe I'm hoping to convince you to use it for kindling," Severus said, quirking his lips.
She snatched the book from his hands and smacked the top of his head with it. "Stop being a git and dance with me."
"I do not dance. Ever," he ground out, crossing his arms in front of himself.
"Then you will just have to watch me." She stuck out her tongue at him and turned up the volume on the music. She began turning around the room, her long red hair falling halfway down her back. As she sang along with the music and danced, her cheeks took on a rosy hue and the freckles across the bridge of her nose were lost in the coloring. She moved so smoothly - beautiful turns with graceful steps in between, lost in the song completely. Severus was unable to look away.
When the music ended, she flopped down on the couch, breathless. "Want me to play it again?"
"I think seven times in a row was more than adequate," Severus snorted. When he looked at her, he could see the strap of her bra as the collar of her blouse gaped slightly. He looked away, overcome with a feeling, a strange one, in the pit of his stomach. He didn't have time to consider it further as he then heard the grandfather clock chime five times. "Besides, I need to get home and start supper," he said standing.
"I still don't understand why you have to cook supper, Sev," Lily said, concern in her voice.
"Don't worry about it. It's something I have to do. Besides, why do you think I'm so good at Potions?" he replied, trying to lighten the mood. He walked to the front door and took his jacket from the coat rack.
"I'll call you?" Lily asked as she opened the door to let him out.
"Alright," Severus said but as he stepped onto the short walk, he couldn't help but think he'd rather stay at the Evans's, even with Petunia there, than head back home.
~*~
"Severus?" a soft voice asked through the receiver.
"Yeah, it's me. I can't talk long." His mum still hardly understood the telephone and his father worried about the cost, whom he was speaking with, and why for so long. It was just best to keep conversations short and to the point.
"Come with me to the cinema? I want to see the new James Bond film more than anything."
"I'm not allowed." That wasn't quite accurate but he wasn't going to tell her what his father would say about him wasting his hard-earned pounds or what his mum would say about how he kept forgetting he was a wizard, going about town like a Muggle. That they were both hypocrites need not be mentioned. He'd made that mistake and wasn't about to do it again. His body still smarted a bit at the memory of the leather belt.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Mum wants me to weed our poor excuse for a garden. Says it's good for me to see just how important magic is by not being able to use it or some other shit." He couldn't hide his disgusted tone. The sooner he came of age and moved away, the happier he'd be.
"I'll come and help you then," Lily offered happily.
"No! Absolutely not," he nearly shouted.
"Why don't you ever let me come over to your house, Severus? I'm not afraid of your father, you know," she replied quietly, as if the man in question might hear her somehow.
"Doesn't matter. Listen, I need to go. Maybe another time." As he said it, he knew it wouldn't happen. He couldn't afford to take her to the cinema and he would never allow her to pay. She'd offered once and he could hear his father's words about the kind of man that would let a woman pay. And the kind of woman that would.
"Bye, Sev." He held the phone, listening for the 'click' on her end. He went outside to their tiny garden and began ripping out the dandelions as if they were the source of all that was wrong with his life.
Someday he'd take her there to see any movie she wanted. He'd pay with his own money and buy her as many Revels as she could eat.
*******
1975
As they revised for year end exams, Lily turned to Severus. "For the Wit-Sharpening Potion, do we stir clockwise first?"
"You should know that, Lily. Maybe I should brew some for you," Severus admonished, snickering.
"Shut it, you. Besides, I was ill that week," she said, picking up her quill and writing the instruction on her notes.
"It must be teatime by now." She looked up from her books toward the warm orange light coming in through the window of the library. "Oh, look, Severus. The sun's setting. Isn't it lovely? This is my favorite time of the day. The sky sparkling red and gold-"
"How very Gryffindor of you to admire the sky when it's resplendent with your house colors," Severus intoned, not lifting his head from his notes.
"I also like it when it's deepest blue, in the darkest part of the night," she said absently as she gathered her parchment and quills. Once she had put away all her supplies she stood and put her hand out to Severus who was still sitting at the desk. "Get up," she said smiling as she took his hand.
He stood and held her hand, neither of them moving for a long moment. Her delicate hand felt warm in his cool fingers. The blood was rushing away from his brain and pooling elsewhere and his face began to burn with the knowledge of it.
He took his hand from hers and, looking away, said quickly, "I have an essay for Ancient Runes."
"Want me to help you?" she said hopefully, apparently unaware of the reason he needed, desperately, to distance himself from her.
"No, I'm nearly finished. Maybe I'll see you later," he replied before rushing out to find the nearest loo. He went into a stall and pressed the heel of his palm against his hard prick, sucking in deep breaths. He refused to wank to thoughts of his best friend, even as he realized he was beginning to see her as much more than a friend. She would surely be appalled if she knew he was thinking of her that way. They were friends, nothing more, and he intended to keep her friendship.
His prick mocked him, however, throbbing in his pants. He squeezed his eyes shut but knew he couldn't stop now. He reached inside his robes and grasped his erection. With barely a single stroke, red hair and green eyes playing across the backs of his eyelids, he was coming all over his hand.
He cast Scourgify on his robes and the come-spattered stall before washing his hands vigorously, the cool water calming his racing heart. He looked into the mirror and nearly convinced himself that he hadn't just wanked to images of Lily.
~*~
Any pretense he'd invented soon vanished as, more often than not, his dreams focused on his friend. And what dreams they were - her smooth, pale skin; her green almond-shaped eyes, looking at him hooded with desire; her fiery red hair hanging down from her position above him, tickling his neck, before she leaned down and kissed him. Nearly every night he woke with sticky pants. Sometimes his hand had even wormed its way inside his pajama bottoms while he slept.
His dorm mates seemed to be having similar problems, however, as Bradley was always making excuses about the house-elves stripping his bed and Carmichael snuck off to the bath every morning before he thought anyone was awake.
The misconception about Ravenclaws was that they never got into mischief. They did but they were smart enough not to get caught. So when Edgecombe suggested they meet up with some girls on the Astronomy Tower, the boys took three days organizing a plan complete with lookouts. Severus wasn't interested in whomever they might meet up there but he offered to keep watch.
They managed to get past Filch and his beastly cat. When the boys finally reached the Astronomy Tower, Severus watched the door - they left poor Chambers at the bottom of the stairs, in case anyone came along - so at least he could get an earful, as it was rather dark and he didn't think he'd see much at all. The other three boys paired off with the girls who were waiting there when they arrived. How they had managed to escape detection, he wasn't sure.
Edgecombe was all over one of them immediately - he didn't even know if the girls were in his house, come to think of it.
Someone slipped out of the shadows and approached him. "Hey, Severus, " the girl whispered as she ran her fingers over his robe sleeve. Was that Parkinson's girl? The one with the turned-up nose? Not that he was interested in her but now even less so.
"You want me telling Parkinson what you were up to tonight?" Severus asked coldly.
"We're through. You go right ahead - let's give him something to think about," she replied and reached her hand towards his groin.
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, his knuckles white, his fingers digging into her skin. "Do not touch me."
"Ow, let go!" she cried. He released her hand and she began rubbing her wrist. "Jeez, just say you aren't interested."
"I am not, nor will I ever be, interested in what you are offering," he hissed.
"Your loss, Snape." She turned and walked over to where Bradley was snogging somebody and slid in between them.
He suffered through the next twenty minutes of auditory hell - wet kisses, slurps, and moans. At the high-pitched "Watch your teeth!" Severus actually began to wonder whether girls were worth the trouble.
The next morning, as his dorm mates discussed their adventures in stage whispers, Severus caught sight of Lily talking with Frobisher, their heads together and Lily's brow furrowed. She looked up at him and frowned before finishing her breakfast. They had Defense together before lunch; maybe then she would explain what that was all about.
However, she didn't wait that long. When he stood to go to Charms, she was suddenly right behind him.
"Severus, can I talk to you?" Lily asked, her face the picture of concern and something he couldn't place. Especially on her face.
"I'm headed to Charms now. Can it wait until lunch?" he asked her as they walked out of the Great Hall.
"I only need a moment," she replied and as they walked towards the moving staircases, she suddenly turned them into a dark alcove just off the Entrance Hall.
"What's going on, Lily?" he asked, a bit agitated with her now.
"Do you know what they are saying about you?" she asked looking up at him. "That you and Phyllis Ca-"
"Who?" He didn't recognize that name at all.
"Phyllis Caldwell. You know, Aubrey Parkinson's girlfriend. Ring any bells?" Her eyes bored into his.
"Yeah. So who is saying what?" He was getting a bit nervous actually.
"Everyone is saying she, she-" Lily crinkled her nose, the look of distaste evident, "she blew you last night on the Astronomy Tower."
Severus was speechless. That was so far from true he was just shocked. "Lily, that's a lie," he spluttered.
"I don't care what you do but surely you can do better than her." She left him standing alone, now late for class. He wondered who Lily thought he ought to be with, knowing that she couldn't be thinking of the same girl he was. He didn’t want her to think that he wanted her that way. That would spoil their friendship. He was certain of it.
*******
1976
Severus had already put his trunk on the overhead rack and sat down by the window with his Advanced Potion Making text. Now that OWLs were finished he could focus on what really interested him - he was working on a spell so he would be able to talk to someone without anyone else listening. He was very close to figuring it out; he might even be able to perfect it before they got back to King's Cross. He'd love to be able to have a conversation about magic without his dad overhearing and telling him he ought to just get a job at the mill, like his old man.
Over my dead body, he thought to himself when suddenly Lily burst into the compartment. She slid the door closed harshly and tossed her trunk up over her head onto the rack. She threw herself down in the seat across from him and stared out the window without saying a word.
"All right there, Lily?" Severus asked tentatively. She wiped her hands across her cheeks, then wiped them on her robes, sniffing loudly.
"Boys," she said bitterly. "They are all beasts." She was quiet for a few more minutes, still looking out the window as the train began to pull away from the station. He looked back down at his potions book but watched her through the hair that hung down and hid his face. His mother would surely cut it a little when he got back home, just to keep his father from insisting he shave it completely.
A few minutes later he noticed her body shaking with silent sobs. He groaned internally as he had never been good with tea and sympathy, but she was obviously very upset. He knew she'd been dating Aidan Kirke, a Gryffindor naturally. All year he had secretly hoped the boy would do something so spectacularly stupid he'd be expelled from Hogwarts.
And then she'd be available.
He shook his head slightly to clear that thought. Setting his book down, he stood and sat down next to her, still unsure what to say to comfort her. She wiped her eyes with a tissue she must have conjured. When she finally met his gaze, her eyes seemed to glow nearly fluorescent green against the bloodshot whites and puffy red rims.
"I don't know why I bother with boys at all. They are horrible, every last one." Severus frowned, trying to decide whether he was included in her diatribe or whether she didn't consider him a boy, in the proper sense of the word.
She continued unaware of his mental dialog. "Aidan broke up with me. On the last day of term!" She was breathing heavily as if to calm herself.
"I thought he cared for me. But he just wanted -" she paused and blushed. "He only wanted one thing." She looked up at Severus again and he knew what she meant, what Kirke had done, what they had done. He clenched his jaw tightly, jealousy boiling inside him. He wanted to find this boy and hex him within an inch of his life for using her. For taking what was his...
She patted his hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she put her feet up on the arm of the seat and stared out the window again.
She lay back against his body. "I'm so glad I have you, Severus."
He watched the countryside change from lush green Scotland to industrial England. She must have fallen asleep. He dared not move, her body warming him to his soul. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, any errand, to the ends of the earth and back. And so much the better if he could get revenge on Kirke.
Her auburn hair shone in the sunlight streaming in through the window and before he knew it, he'd lifted his free hand and stroked her hair with feather light touches. She smelled like sunshine and green grass on the first day of summer. Even though he knew it was probably the worst idea he'd ever had, he couldn't resist leaning down and chastely kissing the top of her head. His lips, so close to her, uttered words before his brain could stop them. "I would never treat you so."
Her breathing hitched.
No, no. Merlin, please, no.
"Sev?" She sat up slowly.
He tried to prevent the blush from spreading across his cheeks. He tried to keep his heart from beating so loudly, for surely she could hear it - it was nearly deafening him. He tried to school his features, wear his mask of indifference but it was no use. She held his clammy hand in hers and looked into his eyes, into his very soul. He was laid bare, naked before her scrutiny.
She knew. He thought he might die as her eyes searched his own. When he could bear it no longer, his eyes fell shut, his only protection from her disapproval.
An eternity passed or maybe it was only a moment, he never knew. What happened next was the stuff of his dreams, for he felt her warm soft lips upon his own. His heart leapt into his throat. He was frozen. He had only ever imagined this moment but never believing it possible, had no idea how to proceed.
It was a soft, gentle kiss. She brought her free hand to his face, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. As she broke the kiss, he opened his eyes and she said, "I didn't know, Sev."
She smiled, her face flushed, her eyes still puffy but clear and laid her head back down on his shoulder, his hand tight in hers as if it was the most right thing in the world.
*******
1977
Severus wanted to ask Lily on a proper dinner-date, a movie, hopefully something else afterward. They'd been dancing around for weeks, never quite going that far. He thought she wanted to but he was hesitant to put himself on the line without being completely convinced of his success.
This morning he'd bathed, washed his hair, and shaved what little facial hair his seventeen-year-old face could support. Rummaging through the back of his father's closet after the man had left for work he found a white button-down shirt with thin blue stripes. The sleeves were a little too short and it smelled overwhelmingly like starch but it was otherwise clean and pressed. Surely she'd never notice the scorch mark on the tail. His brown corduroy trousers were wearing thin at the knees and the waist was loose on his wiry frame but the length was right. The brown belt he wore to hold them up didn't match his black shoes except for the scuffs on the toes where the color had worn clean away.
Pulling his hair back into a ponytail he couldn't decide if it made his nose look bigger or smaller. He opted to tie it back, the hair framing his face not long enough to reach the tie, figuring Lily knew full well what his nose looked like so it didn't make any difference which way he wore it. But it was summertime and although it was often said that England was always damp and cold, it seemed the sun shone more brightly this summer than in any other.
Once he crossed the road and walked past the playground there was a small patch of wildflowers. He neatly sliced a handful of them with a subtle Sectumsempra, his wand uncomfortably hidden up his sleeve, with the intention of giving them to Mrs Evans when he arrived.
After knocking on the door, he was surprised when Lily answered, although she was expecting him. Her face was warm and welcoming, her eyes brightening as she took in the sight of him and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear.
"Where's your mum? I brought her these flowers," Severus said as he thrust the so-called bouquet into Lily's field of vision.
She pulled him inside and kissed his cheek after she shut the door. "Mum and Dad went to lunch with Petunia and her soon-to-be fiancé."
"Fiancé?" Severus said, incredulous. "She's only been dating that oaf for six months." He followed her into the kitchen.
"It's to be an engagement of at least a year." Lily found a vase in the cupboard and placed the flowers in it before filling it with water. "Hopefully longer."
"Let's go up to my room. Mum got me a new record," Lily said brightly as she clasped his hand, twining their fingers. Severus hoped it wasn't Rod Stewart of whom he had had more than enough, thank you very much.
They climbed the stair in silence and Severus realized he felt more at home at the Evanses than he had ever felt with his parents. Family photos lined the walls along the stairwell: Petunia's first Christmas, Lily's christening, and someone who Lily said was one of her cousins, getting married.
As he entered Lily's bedroom, he noticed a picture frame hanging crookedly on the wall. Reaching out to straighten it, his hand pulled back abruptly when Lily began laughing.
"Every single time you come into my room, you adjust that frame. Just accept it - it doesn't want to hang straight." She flopped down on her bed, the quilt the same sky blue with white flowers that she'd had for as long as he could remember. As he sat, he fingered a small hole developing at the edge.
He kicked off his shoes and smirked. "Maybe it just needs me around to take care of it." He laid his head back onto her pillow. They often sought sanctuary, mostly from Petunia, in her room when he came over, but Mr Evans insisted they keep the door open for propriety's sake. It added a certain thrill, Severus had to admit, when Lily had given him a blowjob a month before.
"Nobody's home, Sev," Lily said, smiling mischievously as she rolled onto her side and traced her fingers over the buttons of his shirt. "They won't be home for hours." Her full soft lips met his thin ones, her kisses never failing to intoxicate him. She licked across his lips, her tongue pressing against them, searching for admittance.
He slid a hand around her waist and pulled her flush to him as he parted his lips and she thrust her tongue inside. He trailed his free hand up and down her back, the pale yellow blouse concealing little - her white lace bra was visible through the thin fabric.
He kissed down her neck as she pulled her hair away from his path, the aroma of her shampoo competing with her natural scent - a heady combination he couldn't resist.
Lily grasped his hand and slowly pressed it under the fabric of her shirt, the warm bare skin so soft under his rougher hands. Without thought, his hand immediately went to her lace-covered breast, squeezing gently before pulling the fabric down to expose her nipple to his searching fingers. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse and he kissed across her collarbone to her shoulder.
Sitting up slightly, Severus reached both hands behind her back, Lily arching it enough that he could unclasp her bra. He'd tried to do that one handed before, like they did in all the films, but Lily had laughed and said boys couldn't ever manage one-handed. He really didn't want to think about how many might have tried before him. Lily sat up quickly and did some sort of Muggle magic that made it disappear through her shirt sleeve before tossing it aside.
His dark eyes met her green ones, which sparkled with desire. He never could accept she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He always suspected she'd grow tired of him and his stubborn nature. But the way she was looking at him now, as he lowered his head to her breast, eyes locked, sighing as he kissed the soft firm flesh was more significant than any words she might utter.
Lily reached behind his head and freed his hair from the leather tie. "I love to run my hands through your hair," she said as she arched her nipple into his mouth, carding her fingers through the black strands. She rocked her body into his and brushed his tented trousers with her lower leg.
"Stop, Lily," he said when she rubbed her knee against his still covered length. "I won't be able to stop."
"So don't," she said giggling a little as she moved her hand to the button of her white flares, undoing it deliberately.
"We can't," Severus said softly, his mind warring with his raging erection. "What if they come home?" He swallowed hard as she reached for the button of his trousers and then pulled down the zip.
"They won't," she assured.
"But, I wanted..." Severus bit his tongue.
"What did you want? A blowjob?" Lily said with a giggle as her fingers reached inside his pants and wrapped around his prick.
"Yes, I mean, no, I mean -" Severus found himself at a loss for words as she slowly stroked his cock, giving a gentle squeeze now and then. She took his hand and moved it to her own waistband.
"You want me, don't you? You want this," she said confidently as she slipped his hand inside her knickers and pushed it down until his fingers were tangling in the soft auburn hair there.
Severus closed his eyes. "I wanted it to be different; a proper date. Something special."
"This is special, Severus." She kissed him intensely as if to convey just how much she wanted this, wanted him. Then she confirmed his thoughts, with a whispered, "I'm with you." He knew then he couldn't say no.
Taking the initiative, he pressed his fingers against the little nub that always made Lily sigh. She grasped his wrist and pressed it lower, guiding his hand. He slid a finger inside her.
"You're so wet, Lily," he murmured as he nibbled her earlobe, moving his finger in time with his thrusts into her hand. Imagining himself deep inside her for the first time - his first time - he knew he was tempting fate as his control was negligible. "Stop or I'm going to come," he panted.
"We can't have that now, can we?" she replied cheekily. "Not yet anyway." She pulled her hand from his pants and he wondered why on earth he had asked her to stop. He then sat up and rolled her over, flat onto her back. Kneeling between her knees, he kissed her eyes, her nose, and her cheeks before placing his hands on her hips.
"Lift up," he said as he began to pull her flares off. Digging her feet into the bed, she lifted her hips, easing his work. Trousers hanging open, he lay over her, the layers of clothes doing nothing to stop the transfer of heat. He ground his erection against her pink cotton knickers, his hands in her hair, peppering kisses over her flushed face.
Taking her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing her lightly freckled cheeks, he asked earnestly, "Are you sure, Lily?" He searched her eyes for any sign that she'd want him to stop.
She bucked up against him in reply, pulling a groan from him. "I'm very sure." She licked her lips then wormed her hand in between their bodies and grasped his prick through his pants.
"I want you in me."
Suddenly, he was moving fast and furious: he lifted himself off her and pulled his trousers down to his knees, his pants following immediately after. He began to unbutton his shirt but Lily pushed his hands away.
"Just leave it," she said as she grasped his bare arse and pulled him to her. "Fuck me, Severus."
He nearly came.
At his groan, she shifted her hips against him and they both reached for her knickers, Lily tossing them on the floor with a smile. Severus sat back on his heels and took a long look as she lay down on the bed. Her thick red hair fanned out over the pillow, her shirt was half open-her breasts peeking out from between the buttons, her splayed thighs and bent knees drew his eyes to her entrance.
His prick throbbed reminding him just why he was there. Lily reached her arms out to pull him down to her. He braced one hand next to her head and with the other, guided his prick. He thrust forward but missed, his prick sliding up through her damp hair, so he pulled back to try again. Lily keened at the sensation but he was intent on getting it right this time. Now he wanted to press inside her, Severus bit his lip as the head met her wet inside for the first time. He began to sweat, suddenly nervous that he would hurt her or come the second he entered her or that she wouldn't enjoy it or...
"Stop thinking so much, Sev." Lily lifted her hips, pulling him inside. "Just feel."
"Oh, gods," he said through his teeth. The feeling was amazing, better than he ever imagined - so smooth, like silk, so warm and tight, the wet heat enveloping him completely. "Don't move," he pleaded, eyes shut tight, trying to keep himself from coming. He felt her hands grip his biceps, grounding him by giving him something else to focus on.
"You feel so good inside me." And then she did something, he didn't know what exactly, but she squeezed his cock and he felt his balls tighten. Damn. Thrusting three times in quick succession, he groaned as his orgasm hit, exploding inside her. Severus collapsed, overwhelmed and more than a little embarrassed to have finished so quickly.
He panted against her shoulder. Then she squeezed him again and he nearly screamed, as he slowly pulled his hypersensitive, spent, and yet somehow still half-hard prick from her. Lily slid her hands under his shirt and rubbed them over his sweat-slicked back, soothing and relaxing him. So much so he felt he might fall asleep at any moment.
"That was brilliant," she whispered as she kissed the shell of his ear.
He lifted his head at looked at her beautiful flushed face. "But it was so fast. What about..." he trailed off. He really wasn't sure whether she was satisfied and didn't have a clue how to ask.
"Shhh." She lifted a finger to his lips, silencing any reply. "This time was for you."
As he drifted off in silence, he realized she'd never put on any music.
*******
1978
"Bloody cold tonight." Severus pulled his house scarf more tightly around his neck.
"Are you or are you not a wizard, Sev?" Lily asked with a wink, squeezing his hand tightly in her gloved one. She cast a warming charm over both of them as they wandered the grounds, well past curfew.
He thought for sure she would stop behind the greenhouses, where they had slipped away more than once in the last few months. They had christened Filch's broom cupboard, the Potions classroom, and the niche behind the suit of armour which stood just outside the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. The first time he threw all his dorm mates out, so she could sneak in, he got more than a few pats on the back the next day.
Lily led him down a patch of grass behind the castle where students rarely ventured after they arrived at Hogwarts, near where Hagrid kept the boats that the first years rode over in, every September. Severus couldn't believe that in a few short months he and Lily would finish school and ride the boats back over before boarding the Hogwarts Express one last time.
"A bit cold for a swim, isn't it, Lily?" he said a bit puzzled as to what she had in mind, dragging him down to the water on such a bitter cold night.
She pulled him close to her, her head nestled against his chest. He wrapped his long arms around her back and shoulders and rested his chin on the top of her head. She slid her hands inside his cloak, pressing her entire body flush with his. Slowly her hand drifted to his waist band and he bit the inside of his cheek when it brushed against his rising erection. She fingered his prick through his trousers until he was fully hard. He began to kiss her face and neck, reveling in the soft, warm skin.
"Let's get in the boat, Severus," she whispered as she squeezed him purposefully.
"Merlin," he breathed and shuddered slightly. She released his prick and moved away, taking her warmth with her. He looked at the boat and decided they probably wouldn't fall in the frigid water of the lake. He put one foot into the boat and it rocked slightly. He reached his arm out to take her hand and she stepped into the boat. Then he climbed in after her.
When they were eleven, in these boats for the first time, four students fit comfortably. Now, at age eighteen, between their height and weight it was a tight fit for the two of them. He remembered how they had ducked through the wall of ivy that led to the dark tunnel which brought them to the shore under the castle.
He sat down on one of the benches and she sat down in his lap. He pulled out his wand and recalled Hagrid's bellowed, "Forward!" and the boat began to pull away from the shore, drifting slowly towards the dark tunnel.
He wrapped both his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. She turned her head, kissing him on the cheek, her lips warm on his cold flesh. She pressed herself flush against him and wiggled in his lap, his approval obvious from the hardening length she could no doubt feel even through her cloak.
Once the little boat was nearly to the ivy wall, Lily said, "Stop here." Severus stopped the boat and she reached into her pocket, drawing out a dozen fairy lights. She threw them into the air and cast Petrificus. The lights bobbed gently, brightening the dark tunnel with their sparkling light.
Lily climbed out of Severus's lap only to turn around to face him. As she lifted her robes to her waist, he groaned - she wasn't wearing any knickers. She reached for his robes and slipped her hand inside, into his pants, her soft hand wrapping around his prick.
With her other hand she pushed the center of his chest. "Lie back," she said, a gleam in her eye. He looked behind him before leaning back to rest his elbows on the other row of seats. She tugged at his pants and he lifted his hips just enough for her to pull them down to his thighs. She pulled his prick gently, stroking up and down, and leaned forward to kiss him.
Severus never tired of her kisses - her mouth was warm and sweet, her tongue rough against his own. She nipped at his stubbled jaw and chin, trailed kisses down his neck, sucked on his earlobes until he could hardly stand the sensation, a shiver going down his spine. All the while, her hand never faltered from the perfect rhythm.
She slid down his body and knelt between his legs, a broad swipe across the head of his cock the only warning he received before her mouth enveloped him completely. His head fell back, his eyes closed as she worked him expertly with both her hands - one wrapped around his length, the other gently rolling his balls - as well as her mouth.
He reached forward with one hand to run it through her hair, gently pressing himself deeper, speeding the pace she'd set; the warmth and suction incredible. When he gasped, she pulled off him with a loud 'pop', breaking the near-silence. The only other sound was the water lapping at the sides of the boat.
She stood and straddled his lap, one hand guiding him into her slick, tight heat. She was always so aroused, fairly dripping, by the time he entered her and that alone had made him come prematurely the first few times they were together. That she wanted him that much filled him with joy fit to bursting.
He looked at her fair skin, glowing in the fairy light. She had her head thrown back and held his shoulders to brace herself as she lifted herself up and lowered onto him again and again.
Severus knew she was getting close when she began to sigh, exhaling sharply. He felt his prick squeezed in her tight channel. He sat up and grasped her hips, thrusting upward as she pressed down. She gasped and clenched around him, her silky walls pulling his essence from him. He cried her name as he flooded her insides. She rolled her hips forward, grinding her pelvis against him, keening her pleasure.
"Oh, Severus," she panted and fell forward against him, wrapping her arms around his body. He kissed her forehead as he slipped out of her, still quivering from his orgasm. He lay flat on his back and pressed her head to his chest, breathing together as they watched the dancing lights.
~*~
"Are you unpacked already, Severus?" Lily asked as she slowly removed everything from her school trunk.
"I'm leaving it all in there. I don't need it anymore," he replied with finality as he sat down on her bed.
"When do you have to report to St. Mungo's?" she asked as she hung a green blouse in her wardrobe.
"August the fifteenth is the first day for first year interns." His skill at inventing spells and modifying potions had convinced Flitwick he ought to apply to St. Mungo's healer program. He also managed to get Professor Slughorn to write him a recommendation without going broke at Honeyduke's. "What about you?"
"You know the Ministry; my schedule will probably arrive in triplicate two days before I'm meant to start." She slowed her movements and pulled a book out of her trunk. "I forgot this was in here." Opening the book she pulled out the green ribbon, pressed flat, and from the look of it, hardly touched.
Severus reached into his trouser pocket and rubbed his thumb and forefinger over the fraying fabric. He had worried it into a mass of thread, hardly resembling the original.
"Do you still have your half?" Lily asked as she held her piece in her hand. He pulled his hand from his pocket revealing the ratty fabric, each end split and frayed. "God, Sev, did you carry it around with you every day?"
Every day.
Author: torino10154
Recipient: xnymphadorax
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~9,000
Warnings: Intercourse (both aged seventeen), fellatio, masturbation, fluff, severe lack of canon compliance.
Summary: Rather than follow his mother's footsteps into Slytherin House, Severus chooses a different path hoping it means he will be able to remain friends with Lily Evans.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR.
Author's Notes: xnymphadorax asked for "AU, fluff, what-if's, a world in which Sev had made different choices." I do so hope you enjoy this. Thank you to my betas J, V, S, and P for their feedback, support, and SPAG. Any mistakes that remain are my own. Title comes from Deathly Hallows.
A Man's Greatest Treasure
~*~
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
How blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.
-Rumi, 1207-1273
~*~
1971
As the Hogwarts Express neared its destination, several of the older students came through the compartment, reminding everyone to put on their robes and be ready to disembark in an orderly fashion as soon as the train stopped. As the prefects - as Severus was sure these older students were - opened the door, he saw the passageway quickly filling with students eager to leave the train. Lily grinned widely at her traveling companion as she stood.
"This is so exciting, Severus! I can hardly stand it," she said as she pulled her robes on. Severus had put his on practically the moment they boarded the train, his threadbare Muggle attire embarrassing him as usual. At least once their home clothes were hidden under their robes, everyone could begin on level ground.
"I hope we are sorted into the same house," he said as he pulled his trunk down from the overhead rack.
She pulled the green ribbon with the ornate cream colored lace overlay from her hair - it matched the trim on her skirt perfectly, just as her mother intended, Severus suspected - and took his hand in hers. She began wrapping their clasped hands together with the ribbon.
"What on earth are you doing?" Severus whispered to her. He felt uncomfortable; it was unusual enough that his best friend was a girl but to been seen by passers-by with a ribbon wrapped around their clasped hands would be mortifying.
"We'll promise right now to be the best of friends, Severus. No matter how we are sorted."
"This is absurd," Severus protested.
"I swear," Lily said firmly, her eyes widening and the emerald irises sparkling with mischief.
He glared at her, causing her to giggle. "That doesn't work on me anymore."
"I'm not certain it ever did," he mumbled. She laughed loudly.
"Come on, Severus, repeat after me. I swear-"
"I swear," he muttered under his breath.
"To remain your best friend," she continued, her bright green eyes looking straight into his black ones.
"To remain your best friend." His voice broke and he cleared his throat.
"Forever," she finished quietly.
"Forever," he whispered.
They stood and looked at each other silently for a moment before Lily exclaimed, "Brilliant!" She unwound the ribbon and reaching into her robes, retrieved a small leather satchel. She set it down on the seat and opened the bag. Inside were sewing supplies: thread, several needles, and a small pair of scissors. She cut the ribbon in half and handed one half to Severus. "Now we can each keep a piece."
"What am I going to do with a girl's hair ribbon, Lily?" Severus asked, furrowing his brow.
"Dunno. But don't lose it or I'll be cross," she said sternly but her eyes were dancing.
He put the ribbon in the pocket of his robes. When he got to his new dorm, he intended to put it in his trunk along with the Slytherin green gloves his mum had knitted for him.
~*~
Severus looked over at Lily as she took the Sorting Hat from her head and sat down at the Gryffindor table, where she was greeted warmly. He'd told her on the train that he was going to be a Slytherin, just like his mother. But he knew deep down inside that he would lose her if he went into the house of the snake. They had been the enemies of Gryffindor since the days of the founders.
Severus looked from the Sorting Hat to Lily once, twice, maybe a thousand times as Professor McGonagall made her way from Evans through the better part of the alphabet. Finally, in her crisp Scottish brogue, the stern Deputy Headmistress called, "Severus Snape."
Walking slowly, Severus finally closed the distance and sat stiffly on the stool before the hat was placed on his head. He knew he was meant to be a Slytherin; he knew it and yet...
The hat spoke almost the instant it fell over his eyes. "You would do well in Slytherin, just like your ancestors before you." But... Severus thought of Lily.
"Ah, I see you are loyal." What would his mother say if he wasn't sorted into Slytherin?
"And brave."
"But I think, yes, you can do great things if I put you in-"
"RAVENCLAW!"
Lifting the hat from his head, he made his way over to sit with the other Ravenclaws and caught the beaming smile on Lily's face as she applauded him. He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard, "I'm Richard Davies. Welcome to Ravenclaw, Snape." He sat down and the other boys greeted him kindly.
At the end of the feast, the Prefects lined up all the first years. It was chaotic and crowded but Severus searched the room, hoping to see Lily before they went up to their dorms.
Just when he had given up hope, he heard her voice behind him laughing, "Thought you were a natural born Slytherin, Severus."
"Quiet, Lily," he shushed her, looking around to see if anyone had overheard. "Imagine what this lot would say if they heard you." He paused for a moment before continuing quietly. "Besides, I want to be my own man."
And not follow in either of his parents’ footsteps. Whose were worse he couldn't say: his mother who was a witch who hardly ever did any magic or his father who didn't believe anyone should. Severus would be a fine wizard indeed, make a name for himself somehow.
"I wonder if we'll have any classes together?" she said smiling.
He hoped they would but didn't express it in so many words. "We'll find out tomorrow morning," he replied stoically.
"See you later!" She turned, her red hair streaming behind her, and disappeared into the crowd. He watched the space where she might have been until Davies stepped into his view.
"Alright there, Snape?" he asked with a smile. "Let's go get you settled with your dorm mates."
Taking a final look around, he followed the other Ravenclaws out of the Great Hall.
*******
1972
"I look ridiculous," Severus complained. "I despise waving a wand around like a Muggle film actor about to shout 'Abracadabra'. If they had any idea how close they were to casting the killing curse I suspect they'd keep their mouths shut."
Lily laughed. "Severus, this is how Professor Flitwick instructed us. For this spell the flourish is part of the motion. Watch me," she said and then turned away from him. She lifted her wand then brought it down swiftly, twisting her wrist just so. He mimicked her movement but the spell faltered.
"Charms is an awful class anyway," Severus said as he tucked his wand back into his robes. "I much prefer the precision of Potions. All this flailing around is pretentious."
"Well then, I will excel in Charms, you in Defense, and we will both become experts in Potions," she replied seriously. "Just let me show you how to do this one." She took his hand and placed it over hers.
"You bring your arm down to here." She stopped then began rotating her wrist to the right. "Now continue through." At the touch of her hand Severus felt somewhat light-headed and his skin was tingling. Was it her magic channeling through to him? He'd never heard of that before. But he had his hand over hers while she held her wand. He dropped her hand. The feeling remained. He wasn't sure what to make of it.
Pulling his wand back out from his pocket, he mimicked her movements several more times before he perfected the spell.
"Well done, Sev!" Lily said and gave him a quick hug. "I knew you could do it."
~*~
Staring morosely into the fire, Severus wondered whether he should have gone home for Christmas after all. There were very few students left at Hogwarts, especially of the younger ones like him, as most parents wanted their children home for the holidays. His mother had asked him whether he wanted to come home but he thought he'd prefer to be alone.
His first year he had gone home for the holidays; he hated to admit it, but he had been slightly homesick. Being back there again, however, certainly cured him of that. His father's brother visited and proceeded to remind him that decent young men didn't have long hair. At the time, his only reached his shoulders. It was a bit longer now - a fairly harmless expression of the defiant streak that the Snapes brought out in him. He smirked as he imagined what his uncle would have said had he seen him wearing robes!
He pulled the green ribbon from his pocket and idly played with it. He'd never managed to put it into his trunk. Instead it became a sort of talisman. His fingers wandered over the smooth side when he was pensive and rubbed roughly over the lace side when he was agitated. He always carried it in the pocket of his robes.
Sentimental rubbish, he said to himself and yet couldn't bear to leave it behind.
Now, as he sat on the floor, listening to the fire crackling, he wished he'd gone home for Christmas hols because then he might have been able to go over to Lily's house, maybe on Boxing Day or on New Year's Eve. Surely she would have pulled a cracker with him, put on the silly hat, and laughed at whatever inane joke was found inside.
Severus didn't really want to enjoy his Christmas dinner but as always the food was divine, so much better than at home - he'd never even had goose for Christmas before - and it was amusing to see the professors let their hair down a little. Well, not McGonagall of course. He was certain she'd be able to drink an entire bottle of single malt whisky without anyone noticing a change in her behaviour.
As he rose to leave, the Headmaster said, "Severus, I believe I have something that belongs to you." He held out a square box, wrapped in red and gold paper.
"Sir?" Severus asked as he took the parcel from Professor Dumbledore.
"One of your friends asked me to deliver this to you. Happy Christmas," the man said, his blue eyes smiling behind his half-moon spectacles.
Severus smiled in spite of himself. "Thank you, Sir. Happy Christmas." He nearly ran back to his dormitory to open it.
He picked at the wrapping paper. There was no note on the outside but he was sure it was from Lily; who else would get him a gift? His suspicion was confirmed when he took the lid off the box and inside he found two oranges and a bar of chocolate. The note simply said, "Happy Christmas, Severus. Your friend, Lily."
He'd never had a happier one.
*******
1973
Severus sat nervously at the dinner table. He really should have refused, but Mrs Evans actually seemed as if she wanted him to come to dinner. That was unfathomable as far as he was concerned.
He found one of his father's not quite worn-out shirts. His cinched-up navy blue trousers didn't suit the brown shoes he wore but that could not be helped. He'd never been able to figure out why his mother couldn't transfigure his clothing to fit better. He'd tried to do it himself and ruined a perfectly serviceable pair of trousers in the attempt. When another pair was set for the rubbish bin, he'd try again.
Lily was sitting next to him grinning from ear to ear while Petunia glared at both of them from across the table. It always surprised him that Lily would defend her sister no matter how much or how often she was hurt by her. Severus knew from Lily that Petunia had been told that if someone scowled, their face might freeze that way, and he itched to pull out his wand and make it come true. He lowered his eyes and snickered to himself. Lily reached over and pinched his arm, then began to giggle, her body shaking with suppressed laughter.
Finally, Mr Evans entered the room and sat down at the head of the table. Once he was sitting, each of them placed their napkin on their lap and Mrs Evans came in carrying a steaming shepherd's pie.
"It smells delicious, Mum," Lily said.
"You do like shepherd's pie, don't you, Severus?" Mr Evans said happily as his wife heaped a large portion onto his plate.
"Yes, Sir," Severus answered curtly as he was still unnerved by the Evans's kindness and hospitality. Dinners at his home were nothing like this. They occasionally ate like this but only when his father received a bonus at work, which happened less and less often these days. Usually Severus threw together whatever was in the fridge.
He lifted his fork to begin eating, when he realized no one else had started yet. Lily looked at Severus and shook her head, so he set his fork down and waited until everyone had been served. He usually served his parents and his father always began eating immediately.
Severus felt extremely uncomfortable as a guest, unaware of the social niceties. He looked up and saw Petunia giving him a wide smirk and looked forward to hexing her at his earliest convenience.
His thoughts were interrupted by Mr Evans saying, "Tuck in." He then finally dug into his food, cleaning his plate rather quickly, before anyone else in fact.
"Would you care for more, Severus?" Mrs Evans asked, although there was very little left in the casserole.
"I-" Severus started.
"Of course he would, Mum," Lily finished for him and Mrs Evans put the last scoopfuls onto his plate.
Petunia stood and followed her mother into the kitchen saying she would help with pudding. Severus ate quietly, while Lily engaged her father with stories of dinners in the Great Hall.
"We don't have much money either, Mum." They all heard Petunia's voice coming from the kitchen. "Why should we feed him, too?"
Severus blushed furiously, horrified that the Evanses pitied him, and that was why they had invited him to dinner. Mr Evans’s brow furrowed but he remained quiet. Severus supposed he didn't want to cause a scene. Best to pretend nothing had happened.
"Tuney, go to your room this instant," Mrs Evans replied sternly. "We never speak of our guests that way." The sound of heavy footfalls echoed through the room as the older girl climbed the staircase.
"Ah, pudding." Mr Evans smiled as his wife entered the room.
"I'm sorry, Sev," Lily mouthed, giving his hand a quick squeeze.
The blush returned to his cheeks. "It's OK," he mumbled. And when he looked at her again, she smiled, and he knew that it was.
*******
1974
"Don't you just love this song?" Lily said as she placed the needle down onto the Waterloo single once more.
He snorted. "Not nearly as much as you do, Lily." He opened the book he'd been reading as he sprawled on the floor of her sitting room. The title read Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen, a red and green demon decorating the cover.
"Are you reading that book again?" she asked exasperatedly. "I've told you a thousand times I have no idea why my aunt and uncle bought it for me. It's sort of creepy actually."
"The only things in it that are true were clearly accidentally included. My mum knows all about making amulets. She says it's rubbish," Severus complained.
"Why do you keep picking it up then?"
"Maybe I'm hoping to convince you to use it for kindling," Severus said, quirking his lips.
She snatched the book from his hands and smacked the top of his head with it. "Stop being a git and dance with me."
"I do not dance. Ever," he ground out, crossing his arms in front of himself.
"Then you will just have to watch me." She stuck out her tongue at him and turned up the volume on the music. She began turning around the room, her long red hair falling halfway down her back. As she sang along with the music and danced, her cheeks took on a rosy hue and the freckles across the bridge of her nose were lost in the coloring. She moved so smoothly - beautiful turns with graceful steps in between, lost in the song completely. Severus was unable to look away.
When the music ended, she flopped down on the couch, breathless. "Want me to play it again?"
"I think seven times in a row was more than adequate," Severus snorted. When he looked at her, he could see the strap of her bra as the collar of her blouse gaped slightly. He looked away, overcome with a feeling, a strange one, in the pit of his stomach. He didn't have time to consider it further as he then heard the grandfather clock chime five times. "Besides, I need to get home and start supper," he said standing.
"I still don't understand why you have to cook supper, Sev," Lily said, concern in her voice.
"Don't worry about it. It's something I have to do. Besides, why do you think I'm so good at Potions?" he replied, trying to lighten the mood. He walked to the front door and took his jacket from the coat rack.
"I'll call you?" Lily asked as she opened the door to let him out.
"Alright," Severus said but as he stepped onto the short walk, he couldn't help but think he'd rather stay at the Evans's, even with Petunia there, than head back home.
~*~
"Severus?" a soft voice asked through the receiver.
"Yeah, it's me. I can't talk long." His mum still hardly understood the telephone and his father worried about the cost, whom he was speaking with, and why for so long. It was just best to keep conversations short and to the point.
"Come with me to the cinema? I want to see the new James Bond film more than anything."
"I'm not allowed." That wasn't quite accurate but he wasn't going to tell her what his father would say about him wasting his hard-earned pounds or what his mum would say about how he kept forgetting he was a wizard, going about town like a Muggle. That they were both hypocrites need not be mentioned. He'd made that mistake and wasn't about to do it again. His body still smarted a bit at the memory of the leather belt.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Mum wants me to weed our poor excuse for a garden. Says it's good for me to see just how important magic is by not being able to use it or some other shit." He couldn't hide his disgusted tone. The sooner he came of age and moved away, the happier he'd be.
"I'll come and help you then," Lily offered happily.
"No! Absolutely not," he nearly shouted.
"Why don't you ever let me come over to your house, Severus? I'm not afraid of your father, you know," she replied quietly, as if the man in question might hear her somehow.
"Doesn't matter. Listen, I need to go. Maybe another time." As he said it, he knew it wouldn't happen. He couldn't afford to take her to the cinema and he would never allow her to pay. She'd offered once and he could hear his father's words about the kind of man that would let a woman pay. And the kind of woman that would.
"Bye, Sev." He held the phone, listening for the 'click' on her end. He went outside to their tiny garden and began ripping out the dandelions as if they were the source of all that was wrong with his life.
Someday he'd take her there to see any movie she wanted. He'd pay with his own money and buy her as many Revels as she could eat.
*******
1975
As they revised for year end exams, Lily turned to Severus. "For the Wit-Sharpening Potion, do we stir clockwise first?"
"You should know that, Lily. Maybe I should brew some for you," Severus admonished, snickering.
"Shut it, you. Besides, I was ill that week," she said, picking up her quill and writing the instruction on her notes.
"It must be teatime by now." She looked up from her books toward the warm orange light coming in through the window of the library. "Oh, look, Severus. The sun's setting. Isn't it lovely? This is my favorite time of the day. The sky sparkling red and gold-"
"How very Gryffindor of you to admire the sky when it's resplendent with your house colors," Severus intoned, not lifting his head from his notes.
"I also like it when it's deepest blue, in the darkest part of the night," she said absently as she gathered her parchment and quills. Once she had put away all her supplies she stood and put her hand out to Severus who was still sitting at the desk. "Get up," she said smiling as she took his hand.
He stood and held her hand, neither of them moving for a long moment. Her delicate hand felt warm in his cool fingers. The blood was rushing away from his brain and pooling elsewhere and his face began to burn with the knowledge of it.
He took his hand from hers and, looking away, said quickly, "I have an essay for Ancient Runes."
"Want me to help you?" she said hopefully, apparently unaware of the reason he needed, desperately, to distance himself from her.
"No, I'm nearly finished. Maybe I'll see you later," he replied before rushing out to find the nearest loo. He went into a stall and pressed the heel of his palm against his hard prick, sucking in deep breaths. He refused to wank to thoughts of his best friend, even as he realized he was beginning to see her as much more than a friend. She would surely be appalled if she knew he was thinking of her that way. They were friends, nothing more, and he intended to keep her friendship.
His prick mocked him, however, throbbing in his pants. He squeezed his eyes shut but knew he couldn't stop now. He reached inside his robes and grasped his erection. With barely a single stroke, red hair and green eyes playing across the backs of his eyelids, he was coming all over his hand.
He cast Scourgify on his robes and the come-spattered stall before washing his hands vigorously, the cool water calming his racing heart. He looked into the mirror and nearly convinced himself that he hadn't just wanked to images of Lily.
~*~
Any pretense he'd invented soon vanished as, more often than not, his dreams focused on his friend. And what dreams they were - her smooth, pale skin; her green almond-shaped eyes, looking at him hooded with desire; her fiery red hair hanging down from her position above him, tickling his neck, before she leaned down and kissed him. Nearly every night he woke with sticky pants. Sometimes his hand had even wormed its way inside his pajama bottoms while he slept.
His dorm mates seemed to be having similar problems, however, as Bradley was always making excuses about the house-elves stripping his bed and Carmichael snuck off to the bath every morning before he thought anyone was awake.
The misconception about Ravenclaws was that they never got into mischief. They did but they were smart enough not to get caught. So when Edgecombe suggested they meet up with some girls on the Astronomy Tower, the boys took three days organizing a plan complete with lookouts. Severus wasn't interested in whomever they might meet up there but he offered to keep watch.
They managed to get past Filch and his beastly cat. When the boys finally reached the Astronomy Tower, Severus watched the door - they left poor Chambers at the bottom of the stairs, in case anyone came along - so at least he could get an earful, as it was rather dark and he didn't think he'd see much at all. The other three boys paired off with the girls who were waiting there when they arrived. How they had managed to escape detection, he wasn't sure.
Edgecombe was all over one of them immediately - he didn't even know if the girls were in his house, come to think of it.
Someone slipped out of the shadows and approached him. "Hey, Severus, " the girl whispered as she ran her fingers over his robe sleeve. Was that Parkinson's girl? The one with the turned-up nose? Not that he was interested in her but now even less so.
"You want me telling Parkinson what you were up to tonight?" Severus asked coldly.
"We're through. You go right ahead - let's give him something to think about," she replied and reached her hand towards his groin.
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, his knuckles white, his fingers digging into her skin. "Do not touch me."
"Ow, let go!" she cried. He released her hand and she began rubbing her wrist. "Jeez, just say you aren't interested."
"I am not, nor will I ever be, interested in what you are offering," he hissed.
"Your loss, Snape." She turned and walked over to where Bradley was snogging somebody and slid in between them.
He suffered through the next twenty minutes of auditory hell - wet kisses, slurps, and moans. At the high-pitched "Watch your teeth!" Severus actually began to wonder whether girls were worth the trouble.
The next morning, as his dorm mates discussed their adventures in stage whispers, Severus caught sight of Lily talking with Frobisher, their heads together and Lily's brow furrowed. She looked up at him and frowned before finishing her breakfast. They had Defense together before lunch; maybe then she would explain what that was all about.
However, she didn't wait that long. When he stood to go to Charms, she was suddenly right behind him.
"Severus, can I talk to you?" Lily asked, her face the picture of concern and something he couldn't place. Especially on her face.
"I'm headed to Charms now. Can it wait until lunch?" he asked her as they walked out of the Great Hall.
"I only need a moment," she replied and as they walked towards the moving staircases, she suddenly turned them into a dark alcove just off the Entrance Hall.
"What's going on, Lily?" he asked, a bit agitated with her now.
"Do you know what they are saying about you?" she asked looking up at him. "That you and Phyllis Ca-"
"Who?" He didn't recognize that name at all.
"Phyllis Caldwell. You know, Aubrey Parkinson's girlfriend. Ring any bells?" Her eyes bored into his.
"Yeah. So who is saying what?" He was getting a bit nervous actually.
"Everyone is saying she, she-" Lily crinkled her nose, the look of distaste evident, "she blew you last night on the Astronomy Tower."
Severus was speechless. That was so far from true he was just shocked. "Lily, that's a lie," he spluttered.
"I don't care what you do but surely you can do better than her." She left him standing alone, now late for class. He wondered who Lily thought he ought to be with, knowing that she couldn't be thinking of the same girl he was. He didn’t want her to think that he wanted her that way. That would spoil their friendship. He was certain of it.
*******
1976
Severus had already put his trunk on the overhead rack and sat down by the window with his Advanced Potion Making text. Now that OWLs were finished he could focus on what really interested him - he was working on a spell so he would be able to talk to someone without anyone else listening. He was very close to figuring it out; he might even be able to perfect it before they got back to King's Cross. He'd love to be able to have a conversation about magic without his dad overhearing and telling him he ought to just get a job at the mill, like his old man.
Over my dead body, he thought to himself when suddenly Lily burst into the compartment. She slid the door closed harshly and tossed her trunk up over her head onto the rack. She threw herself down in the seat across from him and stared out the window without saying a word.
"All right there, Lily?" Severus asked tentatively. She wiped her hands across her cheeks, then wiped them on her robes, sniffing loudly.
"Boys," she said bitterly. "They are all beasts." She was quiet for a few more minutes, still looking out the window as the train began to pull away from the station. He looked back down at his potions book but watched her through the hair that hung down and hid his face. His mother would surely cut it a little when he got back home, just to keep his father from insisting he shave it completely.
A few minutes later he noticed her body shaking with silent sobs. He groaned internally as he had never been good with tea and sympathy, but she was obviously very upset. He knew she'd been dating Aidan Kirke, a Gryffindor naturally. All year he had secretly hoped the boy would do something so spectacularly stupid he'd be expelled from Hogwarts.
And then she'd be available.
He shook his head slightly to clear that thought. Setting his book down, he stood and sat down next to her, still unsure what to say to comfort her. She wiped her eyes with a tissue she must have conjured. When she finally met his gaze, her eyes seemed to glow nearly fluorescent green against the bloodshot whites and puffy red rims.
"I don't know why I bother with boys at all. They are horrible, every last one." Severus frowned, trying to decide whether he was included in her diatribe or whether she didn't consider him a boy, in the proper sense of the word.
She continued unaware of his mental dialog. "Aidan broke up with me. On the last day of term!" She was breathing heavily as if to calm herself.
"I thought he cared for me. But he just wanted -" she paused and blushed. "He only wanted one thing." She looked up at Severus again and he knew what she meant, what Kirke had done, what they had done. He clenched his jaw tightly, jealousy boiling inside him. He wanted to find this boy and hex him within an inch of his life for using her. For taking what was his...
She patted his hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as she put her feet up on the arm of the seat and stared out the window again.
She lay back against his body. "I'm so glad I have you, Severus."
He watched the countryside change from lush green Scotland to industrial England. She must have fallen asleep. He dared not move, her body warming him to his soul. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, any errand, to the ends of the earth and back. And so much the better if he could get revenge on Kirke.
Her auburn hair shone in the sunlight streaming in through the window and before he knew it, he'd lifted his free hand and stroked her hair with feather light touches. She smelled like sunshine and green grass on the first day of summer. Even though he knew it was probably the worst idea he'd ever had, he couldn't resist leaning down and chastely kissing the top of her head. His lips, so close to her, uttered words before his brain could stop them. "I would never treat you so."
Her breathing hitched.
No, no. Merlin, please, no.
"Sev?" She sat up slowly.
He tried to prevent the blush from spreading across his cheeks. He tried to keep his heart from beating so loudly, for surely she could hear it - it was nearly deafening him. He tried to school his features, wear his mask of indifference but it was no use. She held his clammy hand in hers and looked into his eyes, into his very soul. He was laid bare, naked before her scrutiny.
She knew. He thought he might die as her eyes searched his own. When he could bear it no longer, his eyes fell shut, his only protection from her disapproval.
An eternity passed or maybe it was only a moment, he never knew. What happened next was the stuff of his dreams, for he felt her warm soft lips upon his own. His heart leapt into his throat. He was frozen. He had only ever imagined this moment but never believing it possible, had no idea how to proceed.
It was a soft, gentle kiss. She brought her free hand to his face, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. As she broke the kiss, he opened his eyes and she said, "I didn't know, Sev."
She smiled, her face flushed, her eyes still puffy but clear and laid her head back down on his shoulder, his hand tight in hers as if it was the most right thing in the world.
*******
1977
Severus wanted to ask Lily on a proper dinner-date, a movie, hopefully something else afterward. They'd been dancing around for weeks, never quite going that far. He thought she wanted to but he was hesitant to put himself on the line without being completely convinced of his success.
This morning he'd bathed, washed his hair, and shaved what little facial hair his seventeen-year-old face could support. Rummaging through the back of his father's closet after the man had left for work he found a white button-down shirt with thin blue stripes. The sleeves were a little too short and it smelled overwhelmingly like starch but it was otherwise clean and pressed. Surely she'd never notice the scorch mark on the tail. His brown corduroy trousers were wearing thin at the knees and the waist was loose on his wiry frame but the length was right. The brown belt he wore to hold them up didn't match his black shoes except for the scuffs on the toes where the color had worn clean away.
Pulling his hair back into a ponytail he couldn't decide if it made his nose look bigger or smaller. He opted to tie it back, the hair framing his face not long enough to reach the tie, figuring Lily knew full well what his nose looked like so it didn't make any difference which way he wore it. But it was summertime and although it was often said that England was always damp and cold, it seemed the sun shone more brightly this summer than in any other.
Once he crossed the road and walked past the playground there was a small patch of wildflowers. He neatly sliced a handful of them with a subtle Sectumsempra, his wand uncomfortably hidden up his sleeve, with the intention of giving them to Mrs Evans when he arrived.
After knocking on the door, he was surprised when Lily answered, although she was expecting him. Her face was warm and welcoming, her eyes brightening as she took in the sight of him and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear.
"Where's your mum? I brought her these flowers," Severus said as he thrust the so-called bouquet into Lily's field of vision.
She pulled him inside and kissed his cheek after she shut the door. "Mum and Dad went to lunch with Petunia and her soon-to-be fiancé."
"Fiancé?" Severus said, incredulous. "She's only been dating that oaf for six months." He followed her into the kitchen.
"It's to be an engagement of at least a year." Lily found a vase in the cupboard and placed the flowers in it before filling it with water. "Hopefully longer."
"Let's go up to my room. Mum got me a new record," Lily said brightly as she clasped his hand, twining their fingers. Severus hoped it wasn't Rod Stewart of whom he had had more than enough, thank you very much.
They climbed the stair in silence and Severus realized he felt more at home at the Evanses than he had ever felt with his parents. Family photos lined the walls along the stairwell: Petunia's first Christmas, Lily's christening, and someone who Lily said was one of her cousins, getting married.
As he entered Lily's bedroom, he noticed a picture frame hanging crookedly on the wall. Reaching out to straighten it, his hand pulled back abruptly when Lily began laughing.
"Every single time you come into my room, you adjust that frame. Just accept it - it doesn't want to hang straight." She flopped down on her bed, the quilt the same sky blue with white flowers that she'd had for as long as he could remember. As he sat, he fingered a small hole developing at the edge.
He kicked off his shoes and smirked. "Maybe it just needs me around to take care of it." He laid his head back onto her pillow. They often sought sanctuary, mostly from Petunia, in her room when he came over, but Mr Evans insisted they keep the door open for propriety's sake. It added a certain thrill, Severus had to admit, when Lily had given him a blowjob a month before.
"Nobody's home, Sev," Lily said, smiling mischievously as she rolled onto her side and traced her fingers over the buttons of his shirt. "They won't be home for hours." Her full soft lips met his thin ones, her kisses never failing to intoxicate him. She licked across his lips, her tongue pressing against them, searching for admittance.
He slid a hand around her waist and pulled her flush to him as he parted his lips and she thrust her tongue inside. He trailed his free hand up and down her back, the pale yellow blouse concealing little - her white lace bra was visible through the thin fabric.
He kissed down her neck as she pulled her hair away from his path, the aroma of her shampoo competing with her natural scent - a heady combination he couldn't resist.
Lily grasped his hand and slowly pressed it under the fabric of her shirt, the warm bare skin so soft under his rougher hands. Without thought, his hand immediately went to her lace-covered breast, squeezing gently before pulling the fabric down to expose her nipple to his searching fingers. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse and he kissed across her collarbone to her shoulder.
Sitting up slightly, Severus reached both hands behind her back, Lily arching it enough that he could unclasp her bra. He'd tried to do that one handed before, like they did in all the films, but Lily had laughed and said boys couldn't ever manage one-handed. He really didn't want to think about how many might have tried before him. Lily sat up quickly and did some sort of Muggle magic that made it disappear through her shirt sleeve before tossing it aside.
His dark eyes met her green ones, which sparkled with desire. He never could accept she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He always suspected she'd grow tired of him and his stubborn nature. But the way she was looking at him now, as he lowered his head to her breast, eyes locked, sighing as he kissed the soft firm flesh was more significant than any words she might utter.
Lily reached behind his head and freed his hair from the leather tie. "I love to run my hands through your hair," she said as she arched her nipple into his mouth, carding her fingers through the black strands. She rocked her body into his and brushed his tented trousers with her lower leg.
"Stop, Lily," he said when she rubbed her knee against his still covered length. "I won't be able to stop."
"So don't," she said giggling a little as she moved her hand to the button of her white flares, undoing it deliberately.
"We can't," Severus said softly, his mind warring with his raging erection. "What if they come home?" He swallowed hard as she reached for the button of his trousers and then pulled down the zip.
"They won't," she assured.
"But, I wanted..." Severus bit his tongue.
"What did you want? A blowjob?" Lily said with a giggle as her fingers reached inside his pants and wrapped around his prick.
"Yes, I mean, no, I mean -" Severus found himself at a loss for words as she slowly stroked his cock, giving a gentle squeeze now and then. She took his hand and moved it to her own waistband.
"You want me, don't you? You want this," she said confidently as she slipped his hand inside her knickers and pushed it down until his fingers were tangling in the soft auburn hair there.
Severus closed his eyes. "I wanted it to be different; a proper date. Something special."
"This is special, Severus." She kissed him intensely as if to convey just how much she wanted this, wanted him. Then she confirmed his thoughts, with a whispered, "I'm with you." He knew then he couldn't say no.
Taking the initiative, he pressed his fingers against the little nub that always made Lily sigh. She grasped his wrist and pressed it lower, guiding his hand. He slid a finger inside her.
"You're so wet, Lily," he murmured as he nibbled her earlobe, moving his finger in time with his thrusts into her hand. Imagining himself deep inside her for the first time - his first time - he knew he was tempting fate as his control was negligible. "Stop or I'm going to come," he panted.
"We can't have that now, can we?" she replied cheekily. "Not yet anyway." She pulled her hand from his pants and he wondered why on earth he had asked her to stop. He then sat up and rolled her over, flat onto her back. Kneeling between her knees, he kissed her eyes, her nose, and her cheeks before placing his hands on her hips.
"Lift up," he said as he began to pull her flares off. Digging her feet into the bed, she lifted her hips, easing his work. Trousers hanging open, he lay over her, the layers of clothes doing nothing to stop the transfer of heat. He ground his erection against her pink cotton knickers, his hands in her hair, peppering kisses over her flushed face.
Taking her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing her lightly freckled cheeks, he asked earnestly, "Are you sure, Lily?" He searched her eyes for any sign that she'd want him to stop.
She bucked up against him in reply, pulling a groan from him. "I'm very sure." She licked her lips then wormed her hand in between their bodies and grasped his prick through his pants.
"I want you in me."
Suddenly, he was moving fast and furious: he lifted himself off her and pulled his trousers down to his knees, his pants following immediately after. He began to unbutton his shirt but Lily pushed his hands away.
"Just leave it," she said as she grasped his bare arse and pulled him to her. "Fuck me, Severus."
He nearly came.
At his groan, she shifted her hips against him and they both reached for her knickers, Lily tossing them on the floor with a smile. Severus sat back on his heels and took a long look as she lay down on the bed. Her thick red hair fanned out over the pillow, her shirt was half open-her breasts peeking out from between the buttons, her splayed thighs and bent knees drew his eyes to her entrance.
His prick throbbed reminding him just why he was there. Lily reached her arms out to pull him down to her. He braced one hand next to her head and with the other, guided his prick. He thrust forward but missed, his prick sliding up through her damp hair, so he pulled back to try again. Lily keened at the sensation but he was intent on getting it right this time. Now he wanted to press inside her, Severus bit his lip as the head met her wet inside for the first time. He began to sweat, suddenly nervous that he would hurt her or come the second he entered her or that she wouldn't enjoy it or...
"Stop thinking so much, Sev." Lily lifted her hips, pulling him inside. "Just feel."
"Oh, gods," he said through his teeth. The feeling was amazing, better than he ever imagined - so smooth, like silk, so warm and tight, the wet heat enveloping him completely. "Don't move," he pleaded, eyes shut tight, trying to keep himself from coming. He felt her hands grip his biceps, grounding him by giving him something else to focus on.
"You feel so good inside me." And then she did something, he didn't know what exactly, but she squeezed his cock and he felt his balls tighten. Damn. Thrusting three times in quick succession, he groaned as his orgasm hit, exploding inside her. Severus collapsed, overwhelmed and more than a little embarrassed to have finished so quickly.
He panted against her shoulder. Then she squeezed him again and he nearly screamed, as he slowly pulled his hypersensitive, spent, and yet somehow still half-hard prick from her. Lily slid her hands under his shirt and rubbed them over his sweat-slicked back, soothing and relaxing him. So much so he felt he might fall asleep at any moment.
"That was brilliant," she whispered as she kissed the shell of his ear.
He lifted his head at looked at her beautiful flushed face. "But it was so fast. What about..." he trailed off. He really wasn't sure whether she was satisfied and didn't have a clue how to ask.
"Shhh." She lifted a finger to his lips, silencing any reply. "This time was for you."
As he drifted off in silence, he realized she'd never put on any music.
*******
1978
"Bloody cold tonight." Severus pulled his house scarf more tightly around his neck.
"Are you or are you not a wizard, Sev?" Lily asked with a wink, squeezing his hand tightly in her gloved one. She cast a warming charm over both of them as they wandered the grounds, well past curfew.
He thought for sure she would stop behind the greenhouses, where they had slipped away more than once in the last few months. They had christened Filch's broom cupboard, the Potions classroom, and the niche behind the suit of armour which stood just outside the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. The first time he threw all his dorm mates out, so she could sneak in, he got more than a few pats on the back the next day.
Lily led him down a patch of grass behind the castle where students rarely ventured after they arrived at Hogwarts, near where Hagrid kept the boats that the first years rode over in, every September. Severus couldn't believe that in a few short months he and Lily would finish school and ride the boats back over before boarding the Hogwarts Express one last time.
"A bit cold for a swim, isn't it, Lily?" he said a bit puzzled as to what she had in mind, dragging him down to the water on such a bitter cold night.
She pulled him close to her, her head nestled against his chest. He wrapped his long arms around her back and shoulders and rested his chin on the top of her head. She slid her hands inside his cloak, pressing her entire body flush with his. Slowly her hand drifted to his waist band and he bit the inside of his cheek when it brushed against his rising erection. She fingered his prick through his trousers until he was fully hard. He began to kiss her face and neck, reveling in the soft, warm skin.
"Let's get in the boat, Severus," she whispered as she squeezed him purposefully.
"Merlin," he breathed and shuddered slightly. She released his prick and moved away, taking her warmth with her. He looked at the boat and decided they probably wouldn't fall in the frigid water of the lake. He put one foot into the boat and it rocked slightly. He reached his arm out to take her hand and she stepped into the boat. Then he climbed in after her.
When they were eleven, in these boats for the first time, four students fit comfortably. Now, at age eighteen, between their height and weight it was a tight fit for the two of them. He remembered how they had ducked through the wall of ivy that led to the dark tunnel which brought them to the shore under the castle.
He sat down on one of the benches and she sat down in his lap. He pulled out his wand and recalled Hagrid's bellowed, "Forward!" and the boat began to pull away from the shore, drifting slowly towards the dark tunnel.
He wrapped both his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. She turned her head, kissing him on the cheek, her lips warm on his cold flesh. She pressed herself flush against him and wiggled in his lap, his approval obvious from the hardening length she could no doubt feel even through her cloak.
Once the little boat was nearly to the ivy wall, Lily said, "Stop here." Severus stopped the boat and she reached into her pocket, drawing out a dozen fairy lights. She threw them into the air and cast Petrificus. The lights bobbed gently, brightening the dark tunnel with their sparkling light.
Lily climbed out of Severus's lap only to turn around to face him. As she lifted her robes to her waist, he groaned - she wasn't wearing any knickers. She reached for his robes and slipped her hand inside, into his pants, her soft hand wrapping around his prick.
With her other hand she pushed the center of his chest. "Lie back," she said, a gleam in her eye. He looked behind him before leaning back to rest his elbows on the other row of seats. She tugged at his pants and he lifted his hips just enough for her to pull them down to his thighs. She pulled his prick gently, stroking up and down, and leaned forward to kiss him.
Severus never tired of her kisses - her mouth was warm and sweet, her tongue rough against his own. She nipped at his stubbled jaw and chin, trailed kisses down his neck, sucked on his earlobes until he could hardly stand the sensation, a shiver going down his spine. All the while, her hand never faltered from the perfect rhythm.
She slid down his body and knelt between his legs, a broad swipe across the head of his cock the only warning he received before her mouth enveloped him completely. His head fell back, his eyes closed as she worked him expertly with both her hands - one wrapped around his length, the other gently rolling his balls - as well as her mouth.
He reached forward with one hand to run it through her hair, gently pressing himself deeper, speeding the pace she'd set; the warmth and suction incredible. When he gasped, she pulled off him with a loud 'pop', breaking the near-silence. The only other sound was the water lapping at the sides of the boat.
She stood and straddled his lap, one hand guiding him into her slick, tight heat. She was always so aroused, fairly dripping, by the time he entered her and that alone had made him come prematurely the first few times they were together. That she wanted him that much filled him with joy fit to bursting.
He looked at her fair skin, glowing in the fairy light. She had her head thrown back and held his shoulders to brace herself as she lifted herself up and lowered onto him again and again.
Severus knew she was getting close when she began to sigh, exhaling sharply. He felt his prick squeezed in her tight channel. He sat up and grasped her hips, thrusting upward as she pressed down. She gasped and clenched around him, her silky walls pulling his essence from him. He cried her name as he flooded her insides. She rolled her hips forward, grinding her pelvis against him, keening her pleasure.
"Oh, Severus," she panted and fell forward against him, wrapping her arms around his body. He kissed her forehead as he slipped out of her, still quivering from his orgasm. He lay flat on his back and pressed her head to his chest, breathing together as they watched the dancing lights.
~*~
"Are you unpacked already, Severus?" Lily asked as she slowly removed everything from her school trunk.
"I'm leaving it all in there. I don't need it anymore," he replied with finality as he sat down on her bed.
"When do you have to report to St. Mungo's?" she asked as she hung a green blouse in her wardrobe.
"August the fifteenth is the first day for first year interns." His skill at inventing spells and modifying potions had convinced Flitwick he ought to apply to St. Mungo's healer program. He also managed to get Professor Slughorn to write him a recommendation without going broke at Honeyduke's. "What about you?"
"You know the Ministry; my schedule will probably arrive in triplicate two days before I'm meant to start." She slowed her movements and pulled a book out of her trunk. "I forgot this was in here." Opening the book she pulled out the green ribbon, pressed flat, and from the look of it, hardly touched.
Severus reached into his trouser pocket and rubbed his thumb and forefinger over the fraying fabric. He had worried it into a mass of thread, hardly resembling the original.
"Do you still have your half?" Lily asked as she held her piece in her hand. He pulled his hand from his pocket revealing the ratty fabric, each end split and frayed. "God, Sev, did you carry it around with you every day?"
Every day.