The best yet by far. It's less structured and more flowing. I think the more you rhyme the better it flows. This one feels more natural than the rest. I really felt you wrote what you felt without trying to stick to the mold. Relly great work. The repetition really gets the point across. I feel that reloading is a little aukward tho like you just couldnt find another word to rhyme with foreboding. Very powerful language. Really rolls of the toung. Excellent.
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