The Rose Legacy - Chapter 1.1
.
It's true! I made a legacy, just like everyone else, lol. This isn't a very story heavy legacy, it's more of a commentary style legacy. Kainetheslayer, over at S2WG has made a very nice set of legacy rules, something akin to the old legacy rules. So I'm trying them out and seeing how they work :) So I hope you guys enjoy!
Everyone meet Mia Rose. She's a neurotic kleptomaniac who loves the outdoors, is a natural cook and has a real green thumb. She loves pancakes, Indie music, and the colour green and she is the founder of this lovely legacy.
Like I said I'm using Kaine's legacy rules (found here) and I'm playing with a few handicaps. First is the Green Thumb handicap, this means Mia and her heirs have to max out the gardening skill before they become elders and there always has to be 20 plants or trees on the lot. I'm also playing with the Service Lover handicap, so only NPC's can be married in/used as sperm donors. Lastly I'm paying with the Matriarchy handicap. So only girls can be heirs, and I'm carrying on the TS2 part of that handicap that says that no one can be married in. So Mia here is going to be a single mom.
Mia: "I'm sorry, did you say mom? I never agreed to kids."
Shhhh dear, just...shhh.
I bought her a nice plot of land and set her up with a cute little cabin on the cliffs outside of town.
She didn't have much money left over after building it, and I wanted to buy her the good appliances from the start. Makes things easier.
With a home on the way and no money left in the bank I sent Mia into town to search out a viable baby daddy.
Mia: "Seriously, I'm telling you, the clowns are out to get us. They may look innocent with their big shoes and their colourful hair, but it's a ruse! A trap I tell you! They are out to get us all."
Random Townie: "Okay lady, whatever you say."
It wasn't going so well. But it doesn't matter, he's not an NPC anyway.
She did however manage to find some people who were of a like mind and joined a protest against clowns at City Hall.
Since she had no money I had her pilfer some apples from the trees in the park, it was handy for food and would give her a good start on the epic garden she needed.
Stealing apples by day, and park benches by night. Her kleptomania is going to help raise her funds enough to build her a decent house. It may leave the town a little sparse on furnishings though.
Mia: "I'm hungry! I'm hungry and it's dark and the clowns are out there and I need a job!!!!"
She likes to freak out a lot. I don't even know what she's freaking out about. It's all gibberish to me.
But I decided it would be a good idea to get her a job. Her lifetime wish is to become a Master Thief, so she took off for the "abandoned" warehouse that was home to the Criminal career.
Mia: "I wonder if they'll have food in there."
They didn't. So, after getting a job as...something...she went home and made some of her favorite food. Pancakes! Unfortunately she didn't have any chairs, so she had to sit on the toilet.
She lives a pretty quiet life. She finished her pancakes and then read up on her cooking skill for a little bit before finally retiring for the night.
Mia: "Ugh, I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I should go in to work. Maybe I should just stay home. Or better yet, hang out at the beach."
Nice try missy, get your butt out to the carpool.
Mia: "This looks sketchy. You know he's a criminal right? What if he robs me?"
You're a criminal, or at least, want to be. You've probably stolen more than he has. Just get in the car.
Mia: "He's bald. He's obviously a clown."
Driver: 'Excuse me miss? I'm just the driver."
Mia: "Whatever you say clowny."
So I was hanging out around town and when I checked back on Mia this guy is hanging around her work.
Policeman: "I'm taking Mia in. She's not going to cause any more trouble for the good citizens of Sunset Valley."
Trouble? What trouble? This doesn't have anything to do with her nighttime activities does it?
Mia: "You know, he has a nice butt. Hey, mister, want to be my baby daddy?"
Police Officer: "Ma'am, just come with me."
Mia: "Fine, but there better not be any clowns in here."
Well, what were you arrested for? Did they tell you? Were there clowns? What happened?!
Mia: "*shrug* I stole some apples and was caught. And no, there weren't any clowns. It was no big deal."
*blink* Apples?
Well Mia was in jail I followed a cop home so she could pilfer his genetic material.
Mia: "So like, I'm supposed to babies and some other wacked out shit and I don't know if that's your thing but you're pretty cute."
Hank: "Uh...what?"
Mia: "Nothing, look, do you have a girlfriend?
Hank: "Yea, she's sitting right there. She's the one who invited you in."
Mia: "Hmmm, okay, well, wanna come over?
Hank: "...Sure! Honey I'm going out."
His girlfriend didn't even blink. Sims are so trusting.
Mia: "So, how serious is it with what's-her-face?"
Hank: "Oh you know, we're hanging out. Having fun, the usual."
Trait discovered: Committment issues.
Score for us!
Mia: "O rly? *shifty eyes* Wanna make-out?"
It seems that Hank has some real committment issues. Or Mia is just totally irressistable.
Really irressistable. Oh yea, and Hank is apparently a great kisser.
The next morning was a little...awkward.
Mia: "Hank? Could you pass the salt?"
Hank: "You already made me cheat on my girlfriend, what more do you want from me?!"
Uh, make that really awkward.
Things were super weird and Hank took off without a good-bye, but Mia just brushed it off and went outside to get started on maxing out her gardening skill until her carpool came.
That afternoon after work Mia stumbled out of the abandoned warehouse and proceeded to throw up on the ground. Neat! Also, look! Her puke is green! Wheeeeee.
Mia: "This isn't *blarg*cough* funny! *spew*"
It's a little funny. Plus, generation two is on the way!
After her intense 30 minutes of vomitting she headed home, with a quick pit stop at her neighbours house. Her neighbour who just happens to be Mrs. Crumplebottom.
Mia: "Hey, mind if I come in and steal some shit from you?"
Crumplebottom: "Excuse me?"
Mia: "Haha! Just kidding! Funny joke right? Heh, heh, heh."
Mia: "Hee, hee, hee! That old hag totally bought my line about that being a joke. It wasn't! I'm so stealing these cabinets."
[Insert old meme about bottomless sims pockets here]
That night as she got home and ready for bed she "popped" into pregnancy. With a lovely camo shirt.
Since she was pregnant she now had time off work, with no promotions, no money, and a real crappy daily income, I sent her out to scavenge for collectables during her pregnancy. She often ended her day at the park with some fishing.
Mia: "What is this garbage? Three hours of fishing and all I catch is this little minnow?"
I think it's cute. And five dollars is five dollars, okay little miss picky?
Mia: "Whatever. I'm hungry!"
She's always hungry, but hey, free picnic!
Mia: "Om nom nom, burgers."
I figured at this point that Hank would be home, and it would be wise to let him know he was going to be a dad, since Mia was getting pretty big, and I don't really know how long pregnancy lasts. Although, with the way sims gossip, he probably already knows.
Mia: "I can't believe I'm doing this. What if he's mad?"
Then you run like hell. I don't really know.
Mia: "Okay look, don't freak out, but I have something I need to tell you."
Hank: "...okay..."
Mia: "I'm pregnant."
Lucky for Mia Hank didn't mind. He was actually ecstatic about the baby. He even made Mia promise she would call him as soon as she had the baby.
Hank: "Wow, there's actually a whole person in there? How does it fit?"
Mia: "Hank, it's a baby, they're notoriously small."
Of course, they had to end their visit with a good ol' make out session. In the bedroom Hank shares with his girlfriend.
Shame on both of you!
Since she was still low on funds, Mia stopped by the Crumplebottom home before heading to her house, and she even stayed to visit about.
Crumplebottom: "You know Mia, it's the strangest thing. Things have been going missing from my house. The other day two cabinets and a house plant went missing."
Mia: "Yea, that's super weird. You know, you just can't trust some sims. I bet it was clowns."
Crumplebottom: "Yea, you're probably right."
Sometimes, Mia amazes me, but I definitely think it's time she leaves now. Before Crumplebottom gets suspicious.
She had only been home for a few hours when she felt contractions rip through her abdomen.
Mia: "HOLY CRAP THIS HURTS WAY MORE THAN I WAS EXPECTING!"
My goodness it takes forever for babies to be born. But finally, in a spray of sparkles that is a sims staple, Mia gave birth to her little boy.
Everyone meet Cohen Rose. He's a virtuoso with a good heart and a creepy smile.
Mia surprised me by taking to motherhood with zeal. As soon as Cohen started crying, she was there with a bottle, or a snuggle or a diaper change, even though it often meant her lack of sleep.
True to her word, she invited Hank over so he could come and meet his son. He even showed up in his off duty clothes, but I don't know what that means. Probably that he's off-duty.
Cohen: Dammit big man, change my damn diaper! Don't throw me up in the air! I will puke on you, I promise.
Hank: "Awww, he's making baby sounds! That's so cute.
Hank was a...well meaning dad. Not a very bright one, but well meaning to be sure.
Hank decided to stay the night and so they both changed into their pyjamas and once again consummated their forbidden love.
Also known as making with the sexy-times.
Which did not result in the best morning for Mia.
Mia: "Oh damn I think I'm dying!"
Hank: "That's nice honey, can you keep it down?"
Ah, what a charmer.
In case you didn't guess, Mia was pregnant. And since this is a matriarchy, I decided to melon her into a daughter.
Mia: "Yes melon, I will eat you. I will do as you ask. What's that? Kill everyone? Yes melon."
The melon's will is indomitable.
Her garden was coming along nicely and it looked like Mia was going to max her gardening skill well before her elder years. Of course, her motives weren't doing so hot. Mia spent many hours gardening with Ball of Stink following her around.
That was mostly due to Cohen. He was a wuss. Always needing attention and food. Sheesh, who does he think he is? A baby?
Any time that wasn't spent with Cohen or her garden was spent at Crumplebottom's house. She had yet to catch on to the correlation between her missing items and Mia's presence which made her a perfect friend for klepto Mia.
Of course, Crumplebottom wasn't so keen on Mia working out using her stereo for excercise.
Crumplebottom: "You know Mia, that isn't very appropriate behaviour. If you're just going to abuse my hospitality, I may have to ask you to leave."
Mia: "And one and two and three and four and breathe, breathe, breathe and one and two and three and four."
Apparently, Mia is hugely concerned about Agnes Crumplebottom.
The next morning it was time for Cohen's birthday.
Mia: "Wait, so I put him down on the cold, hard ground to grow up?"
Yea, I don't get it either.
Cohen didn't seem to mind. After an epic break dance move he exploded in a bunch of sparkles and that left a toddler in it's wake.
A very cute toddler at that.
Cohen: "Om nom nom Mister Teddy. Youz taste good."
Cohen: "I'm sorry Mister Teddy. Youz a good teddy."
Cohen: "I'z luffs you Mister teddy."
Yea, it's toddler spam. What of it? You wanna pick a fight? I will throw down bitch. I will. throw. down.
Cohen's neediness had sibsided any. If anything, he now had a limited vocabulary with which to throw tantrums.
But he's just so cute it's hard to stay mad at him. Also, he's inherited his mom's wicked awesome eye colour.
Best. Pooping face. EVER!
With Cohen being a toddler the mad skilling race began. Mia got straight to work teaching Cohen to talk and walk and poop on his own.
She also decided that since Hank had missed his son's birth, he might want to be around for his daughter's, so she invited him to spend the night when she thought she was getting close to giving birth.
And they didn't have long to wait. They had just climbed into bed when Mia felt the familiar pains in her abdomen that signaled birth.
Hank: "Oh my goodnes! Oh! My! Goodness!! What do I do? What. do. I do?!?!?!!? Miiaaaa! Heeeelp me!"
Mia: "Help you? You're not the one in labour!"
This birth wasn't going as smoothly as Cohen's and Mia felt it would be best to go to the hospita. Which is where this dopey faced fuck comes in. He was hired to watch Cohen while his parents were at the hospital.
Not that Cohen cared. He had toy people to masticate.
So, with Cohen properly supervised Mia and Hank took off for the hospital.
Hank: "So, how you doing? You good? You're okay?"
Mia: Just ignore him, just ignore him, you can't kill him if you don't look at him. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
Mia made it to the hospital in time and everything went fine with her delivery and at home Cohen was still happily chewing up his doll house. Really, they did not need a babysitter. What a waste of $75.
So Mia came home, tired and sleepy but happy to have had a baby girl to carry on the legacy.
So everyone meet Wynn. She's an artisitic virtuoso.
Wynn's baby-hood went fast - aka I didn't take many pictures of it. And Hank spent more time over at the house playing with the kids, Wynn had really worked her way in to his heart.
And it just so happened that he was there for Wynn's birthday, and was perhaps a little too enthusiastice for a baby's birhtday, but whatever. All the power to him.
Wynn grew up well. She may even rival her brother for cuteness. Although those terrible bangs have to go. Same with the coveralls.
Much better. Now she looks like the little princess she's bound to be treated like.
She also seems to have be following in her big brother's footsteps of chewing to shit every toy she gets.
Wynn: "Om nom nom, blocks taste yummy!"
Hank stuck around for a bit to spend some time with Wynn. Although, Wynn doesn't seem interested in having him.
Hank: "They yellow block goes in this hole honey."
Wynn: Who the fuck are you?
Okay you caught me. This is totally just frivolous spam, but I think she is adorable.
Cohen was thrilled that he now had a friend to play with. Not that the two really, interacted, all that much. Mostly they just chewed on toys and stared into space.
With the addition of Wynn to the household, the house decided it would be a perfect time to rebel. I think that it was really just indicative of Wynn's destructive streak. During her child-hood and teen years (and most likely through her adult years) she broke every damn thing she touched. She doesn't even have to touch it! She just has to look at it the right way and it bursts into flames. Figuratively of course...most of the time...
She was however kind enough to not break anything for Cohen's birthday.
Cohen: "That looks scary Momma. I don't want to go near it."
Mia: "Man up Cohen and just blow out the candles."
She's a good mom, really...most of the time.
And that's where we're going to leave this update. Stay tuned to see how Cohen 'splodes, among other things. Hope you guys enjoyed my rambly beginning to my legacy. So yea, awesome. Good bye!
It's true! I made a legacy, just like everyone else, lol. This isn't a very story heavy legacy, it's more of a commentary style legacy. Kainetheslayer, over at S2WG has made a very nice set of legacy rules, something akin to the old legacy rules. So I'm trying them out and seeing how they work :) So I hope you guys enjoy!
Everyone meet Mia Rose. She's a neurotic kleptomaniac who loves the outdoors, is a natural cook and has a real green thumb. She loves pancakes, Indie music, and the colour green and she is the founder of this lovely legacy.
Like I said I'm using Kaine's legacy rules (found here) and I'm playing with a few handicaps. First is the Green Thumb handicap, this means Mia and her heirs have to max out the gardening skill before they become elders and there always has to be 20 plants or trees on the lot. I'm also playing with the Service Lover handicap, so only NPC's can be married in/used as sperm donors. Lastly I'm paying with the Matriarchy handicap. So only girls can be heirs, and I'm carrying on the TS2 part of that handicap that says that no one can be married in. So Mia here is going to be a single mom.
Mia: "I'm sorry, did you say mom? I never agreed to kids."
Shhhh dear, just...shhh.
I bought her a nice plot of land and set her up with a cute little cabin on the cliffs outside of town.
She didn't have much money left over after building it, and I wanted to buy her the good appliances from the start. Makes things easier.
With a home on the way and no money left in the bank I sent Mia into town to search out a viable baby daddy.
Mia: "Seriously, I'm telling you, the clowns are out to get us. They may look innocent with their big shoes and their colourful hair, but it's a ruse! A trap I tell you! They are out to get us all."
Random Townie: "Okay lady, whatever you say."
It wasn't going so well. But it doesn't matter, he's not an NPC anyway.
She did however manage to find some people who were of a like mind and joined a protest against clowns at City Hall.
Since she had no money I had her pilfer some apples from the trees in the park, it was handy for food and would give her a good start on the epic garden she needed.
Stealing apples by day, and park benches by night. Her kleptomania is going to help raise her funds enough to build her a decent house. It may leave the town a little sparse on furnishings though.
Mia: "I'm hungry! I'm hungry and it's dark and the clowns are out there and I need a job!!!!"
She likes to freak out a lot. I don't even know what she's freaking out about. It's all gibberish to me.
But I decided it would be a good idea to get her a job. Her lifetime wish is to become a Master Thief, so she took off for the "abandoned" warehouse that was home to the Criminal career.
Mia: "I wonder if they'll have food in there."
They didn't. So, after getting a job as...something...she went home and made some of her favorite food. Pancakes! Unfortunately she didn't have any chairs, so she had to sit on the toilet.
She lives a pretty quiet life. She finished her pancakes and then read up on her cooking skill for a little bit before finally retiring for the night.
Mia: "Ugh, I don't feel so good. I'm not sure I should go in to work. Maybe I should just stay home. Or better yet, hang out at the beach."
Nice try missy, get your butt out to the carpool.
Mia: "This looks sketchy. You know he's a criminal right? What if he robs me?"
You're a criminal, or at least, want to be. You've probably stolen more than he has. Just get in the car.
Mia: "He's bald. He's obviously a clown."
Driver: 'Excuse me miss? I'm just the driver."
Mia: "Whatever you say clowny."
So I was hanging out around town and when I checked back on Mia this guy is hanging around her work.
Policeman: "I'm taking Mia in. She's not going to cause any more trouble for the good citizens of Sunset Valley."
Trouble? What trouble? This doesn't have anything to do with her nighttime activities does it?
Mia: "You know, he has a nice butt. Hey, mister, want to be my baby daddy?"
Police Officer: "Ma'am, just come with me."
Mia: "Fine, but there better not be any clowns in here."
Well, what were you arrested for? Did they tell you? Were there clowns? What happened?!
Mia: "*shrug* I stole some apples and was caught. And no, there weren't any clowns. It was no big deal."
*blink* Apples?
Well Mia was in jail I followed a cop home so she could pilfer his genetic material.
Mia: "So like, I'm supposed to babies and some other wacked out shit and I don't know if that's your thing but you're pretty cute."
Hank: "Uh...what?"
Mia: "Nothing, look, do you have a girlfriend?
Hank: "Yea, she's sitting right there. She's the one who invited you in."
Mia: "Hmmm, okay, well, wanna come over?
Hank: "...Sure! Honey I'm going out."
His girlfriend didn't even blink. Sims are so trusting.
Mia: "So, how serious is it with what's-her-face?"
Hank: "Oh you know, we're hanging out. Having fun, the usual."
Trait discovered: Committment issues.
Score for us!
Mia: "O rly? *shifty eyes* Wanna make-out?"
It seems that Hank has some real committment issues. Or Mia is just totally irressistable.
Really irressistable. Oh yea, and Hank is apparently a great kisser.
The next morning was a little...awkward.
Mia: "Hank? Could you pass the salt?"
Hank: "You already made me cheat on my girlfriend, what more do you want from me?!"
Uh, make that really awkward.
Things were super weird and Hank took off without a good-bye, but Mia just brushed it off and went outside to get started on maxing out her gardening skill until her carpool came.
That afternoon after work Mia stumbled out of the abandoned warehouse and proceeded to throw up on the ground. Neat! Also, look! Her puke is green! Wheeeeee.
Mia: "This isn't *blarg*cough* funny! *spew*"
It's a little funny. Plus, generation two is on the way!
After her intense 30 minutes of vomitting she headed home, with a quick pit stop at her neighbours house. Her neighbour who just happens to be Mrs. Crumplebottom.
Mia: "Hey, mind if I come in and steal some shit from you?"
Crumplebottom: "Excuse me?"
Mia: "Haha! Just kidding! Funny joke right? Heh, heh, heh."
Mia: "Hee, hee, hee! That old hag totally bought my line about that being a joke. It wasn't! I'm so stealing these cabinets."
[Insert old meme about bottomless sims pockets here]
That night as she got home and ready for bed she "popped" into pregnancy. With a lovely camo shirt.
Since she was pregnant she now had time off work, with no promotions, no money, and a real crappy daily income, I sent her out to scavenge for collectables during her pregnancy. She often ended her day at the park with some fishing.
Mia: "What is this garbage? Three hours of fishing and all I catch is this little minnow?"
I think it's cute. And five dollars is five dollars, okay little miss picky?
Mia: "Whatever. I'm hungry!"
She's always hungry, but hey, free picnic!
Mia: "Om nom nom, burgers."
I figured at this point that Hank would be home, and it would be wise to let him know he was going to be a dad, since Mia was getting pretty big, and I don't really know how long pregnancy lasts. Although, with the way sims gossip, he probably already knows.
Mia: "I can't believe I'm doing this. What if he's mad?"
Then you run like hell. I don't really know.
Mia: "Okay look, don't freak out, but I have something I need to tell you."
Hank: "...okay..."
Mia: "I'm pregnant."
Lucky for Mia Hank didn't mind. He was actually ecstatic about the baby. He even made Mia promise she would call him as soon as she had the baby.
Hank: "Wow, there's actually a whole person in there? How does it fit?"
Mia: "Hank, it's a baby, they're notoriously small."
Of course, they had to end their visit with a good ol' make out session. In the bedroom Hank shares with his girlfriend.
Shame on both of you!
Since she was still low on funds, Mia stopped by the Crumplebottom home before heading to her house, and she even stayed to visit about.
Crumplebottom: "You know Mia, it's the strangest thing. Things have been going missing from my house. The other day two cabinets and a house plant went missing."
Mia: "Yea, that's super weird. You know, you just can't trust some sims. I bet it was clowns."
Crumplebottom: "Yea, you're probably right."
Sometimes, Mia amazes me, but I definitely think it's time she leaves now. Before Crumplebottom gets suspicious.
She had only been home for a few hours when she felt contractions rip through her abdomen.
Mia: "HOLY CRAP THIS HURTS WAY MORE THAN I WAS EXPECTING!"
My goodness it takes forever for babies to be born. But finally, in a spray of sparkles that is a sims staple, Mia gave birth to her little boy.
Everyone meet Cohen Rose. He's a virtuoso with a good heart and a creepy smile.
Mia surprised me by taking to motherhood with zeal. As soon as Cohen started crying, she was there with a bottle, or a snuggle or a diaper change, even though it often meant her lack of sleep.
True to her word, she invited Hank over so he could come and meet his son. He even showed up in his off duty clothes, but I don't know what that means. Probably that he's off-duty.
Cohen: Dammit big man, change my damn diaper! Don't throw me up in the air! I will puke on you, I promise.
Hank: "Awww, he's making baby sounds! That's so cute.
Hank was a...well meaning dad. Not a very bright one, but well meaning to be sure.
Hank decided to stay the night and so they both changed into their pyjamas and once again consummated their forbidden love.
Also known as making with the sexy-times.
Which did not result in the best morning for Mia.
Mia: "Oh damn I think I'm dying!"
Hank: "That's nice honey, can you keep it down?"
Ah, what a charmer.
In case you didn't guess, Mia was pregnant. And since this is a matriarchy, I decided to melon her into a daughter.
Mia: "Yes melon, I will eat you. I will do as you ask. What's that? Kill everyone? Yes melon."
The melon's will is indomitable.
Her garden was coming along nicely and it looked like Mia was going to max her gardening skill well before her elder years. Of course, her motives weren't doing so hot. Mia spent many hours gardening with Ball of Stink following her around.
That was mostly due to Cohen. He was a wuss. Always needing attention and food. Sheesh, who does he think he is? A baby?
Any time that wasn't spent with Cohen or her garden was spent at Crumplebottom's house. She had yet to catch on to the correlation between her missing items and Mia's presence which made her a perfect friend for klepto Mia.
Of course, Crumplebottom wasn't so keen on Mia working out using her stereo for excercise.
Crumplebottom: "You know Mia, that isn't very appropriate behaviour. If you're just going to abuse my hospitality, I may have to ask you to leave."
Mia: "And one and two and three and four and breathe, breathe, breathe and one and two and three and four."
Apparently, Mia is hugely concerned about Agnes Crumplebottom.
The next morning it was time for Cohen's birthday.
Mia: "Wait, so I put him down on the cold, hard ground to grow up?"
Yea, I don't get it either.
Cohen didn't seem to mind. After an epic break dance move he exploded in a bunch of sparkles and that left a toddler in it's wake.
A very cute toddler at that.
Cohen: "Om nom nom Mister Teddy. Youz taste good."
Cohen: "I'm sorry Mister Teddy. Youz a good teddy."
Cohen: "I'z luffs you Mister teddy."
Yea, it's toddler spam. What of it? You wanna pick a fight? I will throw down bitch. I will. throw. down.
Cohen's neediness had sibsided any. If anything, he now had a limited vocabulary with which to throw tantrums.
But he's just so cute it's hard to stay mad at him. Also, he's inherited his mom's wicked awesome eye colour.
Best. Pooping face. EVER!
With Cohen being a toddler the mad skilling race began. Mia got straight to work teaching Cohen to talk and walk and poop on his own.
She also decided that since Hank had missed his son's birth, he might want to be around for his daughter's, so she invited him to spend the night when she thought she was getting close to giving birth.
And they didn't have long to wait. They had just climbed into bed when Mia felt the familiar pains in her abdomen that signaled birth.
Hank: "Oh my goodnes! Oh! My! Goodness!! What do I do? What. do. I do?!?!?!!? Miiaaaa! Heeeelp me!"
Mia: "Help you? You're not the one in labour!"
This birth wasn't going as smoothly as Cohen's and Mia felt it would be best to go to the hospita. Which is where this dopey faced fuck comes in. He was hired to watch Cohen while his parents were at the hospital.
Not that Cohen cared. He had toy people to masticate.
So, with Cohen properly supervised Mia and Hank took off for the hospital.
Hank: "So, how you doing? You good? You're okay?"
Mia: Just ignore him, just ignore him, you can't kill him if you don't look at him. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
Mia made it to the hospital in time and everything went fine with her delivery and at home Cohen was still happily chewing up his doll house. Really, they did not need a babysitter. What a waste of $75.
So Mia came home, tired and sleepy but happy to have had a baby girl to carry on the legacy.
So everyone meet Wynn. She's an artisitic virtuoso.
Wynn's baby-hood went fast - aka I didn't take many pictures of it. And Hank spent more time over at the house playing with the kids, Wynn had really worked her way in to his heart.
And it just so happened that he was there for Wynn's birthday, and was perhaps a little too enthusiastice for a baby's birhtday, but whatever. All the power to him.
Wynn grew up well. She may even rival her brother for cuteness. Although those terrible bangs have to go. Same with the coveralls.
Much better. Now she looks like the little princess she's bound to be treated like.
She also seems to have be following in her big brother's footsteps of chewing to shit every toy she gets.
Wynn: "Om nom nom, blocks taste yummy!"
Hank stuck around for a bit to spend some time with Wynn. Although, Wynn doesn't seem interested in having him.
Hank: "They yellow block goes in this hole honey."
Wynn: Who the fuck are you?
Okay you caught me. This is totally just frivolous spam, but I think she is adorable.
Cohen was thrilled that he now had a friend to play with. Not that the two really, interacted, all that much. Mostly they just chewed on toys and stared into space.
With the addition of Wynn to the household, the house decided it would be a perfect time to rebel. I think that it was really just indicative of Wynn's destructive streak. During her child-hood and teen years (and most likely through her adult years) she broke every damn thing she touched. She doesn't even have to touch it! She just has to look at it the right way and it bursts into flames. Figuratively of course...most of the time...
She was however kind enough to not break anything for Cohen's birthday.
Cohen: "That looks scary Momma. I don't want to go near it."
Mia: "Man up Cohen and just blow out the candles."
She's a good mom, really...most of the time.
And that's where we're going to leave this update. Stay tuned to see how Cohen 'splodes, among other things. Hope you guys enjoyed my rambly beginning to my legacy. So yea, awesome. Good bye!