Honesty

[laylika]

When I talk about honesty I am not talking about always telling the truth. I am talking about showing who you are to others and not changing how you act to fit in with the expectations of different groups of people. I'm aware that most people do this to a small extent- more polite to their parents, more playful with friends- and I have nothing

Comments

[chifley]

I have zero recollection of saying that, which is pretty lame of me but kind of par for the course. I'm also not sure that such a brand of honesty is actually a good thing, even if it is a habit of mine. I'm trying to articulate my thoughts here and it is difficult because I hate self-evaluation, but I agree when you say "I do not believe it is always justified to tell someone something they may not want to hear in the name of honesty." There are things that people don't want to hear but can deal with hearing, there are things that people don't want to hear but should hear, and there are things that people don't want to hear that they shouldn't hear. I guess I go about making these judgement calls about what other people can deal with hearing or should hear, which you must also be making - except I probably have a much lower threshold for something people can deal with hearing. Or maybe I just care less about making people deal with negativity. I mean, for all you say you respect my 'honesty' I can't actually see how my actions

[laylika]

It's true that you get a few people avoiding you because of the things you decide to say, but to be fair I'm not sure you'd get along with those people anyway. As a result of my method I have a lot of acquaintances and people I do not actually like who will come up and talk to me (I feel awkward saying that as I obviously do not want my friends or people who I would like to know better misinterpret that). I feel that anyone who decides to start a conversation with you is probably a friend and as a result people that do usually go up a few points in my eyes in a place like magic. You don't 'suffer fools', I guess

[moctran]

In terms of the pretending, you're not alone in that, I do it as well. Most of the time I wonder afterwards why I just said what I said. Yes, i can completely understand what you mean here, and why you want to leave it behind. It's easier to pretend to not get something, that way people don't expect as much of you and it's easier to defend yourself when people don't expect you to get what they're trying to pull. But then - at least for me - it just leaves me felling in-geniune (i can't for the life of me figure out what that's meant to be...dis-geniune? I don't claim to be smart, just that I pretend to be even dumber ;]) and like I'm lying just because of force of habit. So I think I understand how you feel here, and good on you for working on it and getting so far :). And for being able to admit it O.o

[moctran]

Dammit, I should have said, this is Ben!