Honesty

[laylika]

When I talk about honesty I am not talking about always telling the truth. I am talking about showing who you are to others and not changing how you act to fit in with the expectations of different groups of people. I'm aware that most people do this to a small extent- more polite to their parents, more playful with friends- and I have nothing

Comments

[moctran]

In terms of the pretending, you're not alone in that, I do it as well. Most of the time I wonder afterwards why I just said what I said. Yes, i can completely understand what you mean here, and why you want to leave it behind. It's easier to pretend to not get something, that way people don't expect as much of you and it's easier to defend yourself when people don't expect you to get what they're trying to pull. But then - at least for me - it just leaves me felling in-geniune (i can't for the life of me figure out what that's meant to be...dis-geniune? I don't claim to be smart, just that I pretend to be even dumber ;]) and like I'm lying just because of force of habit. So I think I understand how you feel here, and good on you for working on it and getting so far :). And for being able to admit it O.o.

I have noticed you doing this myself from time to time, but I guess that's just cause I've spent so much time with you. I'll pull you up on it if I ever do notice :D.

In reply to Chifley, the funny thing is it's not the comments you made about me that makes me not like you, it was what you said about my friends =]. I could take anything you like to throw at me and laugh about it, but I'm protective of my friends. I want to be clear this isn't hating on you, I have respect for people who can tell it like it is, straight up without dancing about, I have some of my own friends to do this for me, it's refreshing and allows me to see when I'm going wrong. But those friends I have known for a good while now, the problem I have is that you delivered those judgements on my close friends within half an hour, and you didn't spend that whole time talking to them. I find it a bit presumptious on your part that you assume you can reasonably understand a person within that short amount of time, and thus I found your comments merely offensive slander based on first impressions presumably fitting them into some stereotype, rather than actual understanding and delivery of judgement. I do remember peeps saying that they like you, but could see why people wouldn't, in my case its the other way around. At least till we meet again and I have something to base my liking of you on more than first impressions ;D.

Anyway the point of all that was, you said that you weren't sure that brand of honesty was a good thing. My whole point was, yes, I think it is, absolutely, and this coming from someone who is not trying to be nice =]. Just maybe try to reserve announcing judgement a while longer? We may have been friends then =]. If you care about that at all :p.

And finishing up with Laylika again, I think honesty and this case of pretending to be dumber than you are is a thing so many do, to some amount. Basically, it's all good, I really don't think any less of you and still love you for you =]. I'm pretty sure most if not all would agree.

[moctran]

Dammit, I should have said, this is Ben!

[chifley]

I was going to say, I have no idea who you are, then I saw this comment and I still have no real idea who your are. I'm presuming you are someone I met at one of Vidya's things in Boronia.

So, I'm pretty sure my judgements then were accurate - I can't see why people there would have been acting differently from the way they normally act around friends, and as such I can't see where my judgements would be incorrect.

I mean, that time at Vidya's isn't one of the times where I think I might have been better off if I'd been willing or able to hold me tongue.