Title: The Truth About Leader Jaebum Part 5A
Character/Pairing: Jay/Taec, evil genius Nichkhun/Junsu, Chansung/Junho/Wooyoung, Jay/Khun bffery!
Genre: humor, crack, and a little romance
Rating: pg-13ish but only a little?
Word Count: 3, 205
Disclaimer: Blarg! Don't remind me of what I don't have
Older parts:
(1) ,
(2),
(3),
(4a),
(4b),
Extra parts:
5b teaser It had been the longest day of Nichkhun’s life. He was more than exhausted; his brain could just not compute Korean today and had spent a good part of an interview scrolling through his electronic dictionary. Jay had kept his eye on him like an over protective mother, and to top things off; a sleepy Junsu had been extra adorable all day. Why was Karma being so cruel? Hadn’t he done a good deed (while doing a naughty one)? The newly formed threesome, he couldn’t really call them that without getting crazy Kama Sutra images in his head - how exactly did they go about it? Had they? Anyways, they had been thoroughly obnoxious with kissing up to Jaebum, though they had help keep their leader off his back. What really pissed Khun off the most today, what really had him riled up, was the fact that he was becoming as paranoid as Jay had always been, and Jay; Jay was becoming unreadable and a bit of a sneaky bastard. Khun grumbled as he entered the dorm and went straight to his room to sulk.
Things in Jay’s life were starting to go pretty well. He had his Taec by his side, finally. He was slowly beginning to win the battle against the cooties - he and Taec had held hands in the van for a full 33 seconds before he had to pull away, apply hand sanitizer and then start again. He also had found Nichkhun’s weakness; ironically the sweet Junsu. He had been plotting, well trying to plot, his revenge. However, the three idiots had been all over him today and he did not like it. They were seriously headed in the direction of an ass kicking. Khun had been a wreck all day and that made him feel warm and sadistically fuzzy inside to see his best friend so tormented. After all, what were friends for? Jay headed to his room to clean and wait for Taec. His boyfriend, the thought made him smile, would be bringing a snack for them to enjoy while he plotted some more and he would need his dirt devil readily at hand for giants are messy eaters.
Chansung, Wooyoung and Junho had been doing their best to please their leader-sii, but they had just been making him mad. They didn’t know what to do. They had also been receiving the most curious glares from Jay-hyung, Taec-hyung, and Khun-hyung every time they would take breaks and stick together. They thought it best if they kept their touching down to a minimum in front of the hyungs, but then Wooyoung would do a funny dance, Junho would say something naïve or Chansung would pout and they would have to fight to not pounce one another. The physical side of their relationship was getting increasingly complicated. When the group had returned to the dorms Junho was kicked out of his shared room by Jay, Chansung was locked out of his shared room with Nichkhun; not that he really cared since he prefers to sleep on the floor anyways. Wooyoung quickly found himself snuggled safely between his boyfriends after a long day on his couch/bed.
Junsu had been fighting off his tiredness all day; discreetly hiding all the yawns he could get away with. Both Jaebum and Nichkhun had been giving him weird looks during their multiple schedules. Jaebum’s glares had been a mix of a leader’s scowl and a leader’s concern, but it was Nichkhun’s bizarre stares that had him confused. He would catch the Thai prince starring and when Nichkhun would notice that Junsu had caught him he would quickly turn away or stare somewhere else. Junsu could have sworn that he had caught the man blushing at one point. The mere thought of Nichkhun blushing because of him, made Junsu blush. Junsu had been head over heels for Khun since their training days and to think the adorable yet cool man was finally starting to feel the same way had him stifling his schoolgirl like giggles of joy. Junsu was in such a flowery and warm and fuzzy mood that he decided to compose a love song as soon as he returned to the dorm.
Taec shuffled past the snuggling trio on the couch, restraining the urge to point and let out a horrified gasp, which would quickly be followed up by laughing and mocking. Of course, Taec was currently having enough trouble balancing all the food he was carrying, so he decided to remember this moment and save the mockery for latter. He kicked on Jay’s door in place of knocking.
“Ya! Jay-hyung let me in; I can’t reach the knob!”
Jay, hearing his boyfriend in distress, scurried to open his bedroom door. Somehow, Taec standing there in sweat pants, a tank, with a bundle of food and slightly panting was really doing something for Jay. He almost dismissed the presence of cooties in the sweat starting to form on Taecyeon’s brow…
“Stop ogling at me and help your poor boyfriend~.” Taecyeon pouted and whined; trying his best to do aegyo - which he always thinks is so cute (and so does Jay) even though it has the other members faking puke sounds.
“Why did you bring so much food, I know you are a giant and everything, but you’re not Chansung.” Jay could just foresee all the crumbs and mess he would have to clean up and the horror of an insect and rodent infestation if he missed anything - he began to take big breaths like he and Taecyeon had been practicing while hand holding. He was doing this for love. Jay would triumph over the cooties and reclaim his life for the love of the world’s dorkiest Korean giant - who could play all their hit songs on his teeth.
Taecyeon, wanting to distract Jay before he hyperventilated or figured out that he in fact aided Chansung in late night fridge raids, ratted out the trio. “Chansung, Wooyoung and your baby Junho-” oh no, he hadn’t forgotten about that little nickname Jay had used -“are out there snuggling on Wooyoung’s bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows and the distraction worked as it had Jay both swooning and eager to catch the three idiots in the act.
“Oh really?” Jay wanted to give those idiots hell so he ran past Taec to surprise ninja attack the trio. He whipped out the door but, being as excited as he was at payback (it was all he dreamed about lately,) Jay was barely able to control his speed, sliding across the wooden floor in his socks and right past the trio and into the kitchen. “Well, shit.” Jay took a moment to recover and straighten out his clothes before saunter up to the boys.
Lucky, Jaebum’s overshoot was missed by the three boys on the sofa as they had fallen into a slumber, limbs tangled. Upon inspection of the sleeping idiots, his idiots, Jay decided not to wake and torment them. They actually seemed innocent and sweet looking; Wooyoung’s adorable cheeks puffing with each breath, Junho’s brows furrowed as if in confusion and Chansung’s mouth slightly open with the tiniest bit of drool coming out. At that moment Jaebum felt a little bit like a proud father, so he decided to do what a father would and take a bunch of embarrassing pictures with his cellphone. I guess I can let this threesome thing slide, for now.
“Jay, why are you so obsessed with getting Khun back. Can’t you just let it go?” Jay had been ‘pondering’ over a revenge plan for over an hour and completely ignoring Taecyeon.
Jay sighed and looked up from his ‘notes of revenge’, half of which were actually doodles. “Taec, you just don’t understand the type of relationship Nichkhun and I have. He is expecting this, just waiting for me to do something, so who am I to disappoint him?”
Taecyeon just continued to stare at Jay. “Well whatever you do, I doubt Nichkhun will enjoy the taste of his own medicine.”
Jaebum looked over to his boyfriend about to make a snide remark when he had a thought. Possibly the best thought he ever has had in his whole life.
Seeing Jay frozen, mouth opened in silence, Taecyeon dropped his snacks on Junho’s bed; because he was sure Jay would give him hell if he had put food on the leader’s bed. “Jay-hyung?” No response. “Bummie?” Nothing. “Sweetheart?”Dead air. Now he was scared.
Jaebum slowly closed his mouth, and after a breath and a few blinks, “I had a thought.” It barely comes out as a whisper. Taecyeon all but rolls his eyes and throws himself on Junho’s bed to indulge in snacking. Giants do get extra hungry, especially when their boyfriends leave them exasperated.
“I am brilliant. I WILL give Khun a taste of his own medicine. Where’s Junsu? I need Junsu?” Taecyeon bolted up, almost jealous that his boyfriend wanted someone else’s help for his crazy scheme. Almost.
“Aren’t you going to tell me your plan first?”
“No time.” Jaebum looked around the room frantically. “Group meeting.”
“What?”
Jay rushed out the room and yelled “GROOOOOOOUP MEEEEEEEEEEEETIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!” Startling the boys on the couch and causing Junsu to peek his head out of his room.
“What’s up hyung?” He had his headphones around his neck still from composing on his keyboard.
“Meeting. Group. Now.” Jay replied as he sped past Junsu to Nichkhun’s room. Knowing the door would be locked Jay stood outside the door and began to work his leader magic. “Khun if you are not out here in five seconds,” he quickly then switched to English, “I’mma gonna tell them all about your files on them!” Jay couldn’t be certain, with all his working conspiracy theories, but he was almost positive that Nichkhun had been compiling information on their group members since the training days for future use, of course. He always wondered what kind of good stuff he had on Jo Kwon. Jay leaned in to hear shuffling inside the room and in a moment Khun’s face appeared, wearing his best pout.
“How’d you know?” He said in English.
“I’ve had my suspicions, have you been crying? Your eyes are all bloodshot”
“No. Just sleep deprived, couldn’t nap.”
“Well get your ass out here now, we’re having a group meeting.”
After several grumbles (the trio and Khun) and people being sat on (Junsu by a blushing Khun which was followed by a quick apology and more grumbles). The boys finally settled down and Jay begun his meeting.
“After having a discussion with Nichkhun the other night, I realized that we are just not getting enough vocal training, so, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind continuing your private lessons Junsu-ah, but not just with Taecyeon; with all of us.” Jaebum worse his best ‘I’m the leader so you have to do what I say’ smile.
Junsu, who had previously been staring down at his lap, with the occasional side glance at NichKhun shot his head up. “What? Me?” He pointed to himself. “I thought you weren’t so happy about that…” his voice trailed off as he had flashbacks of the previous night and his leader’s explosive anger.
Jay looked into Junsu’s sad puppy dog eyes that practically gleamed with tears and had he not been so concerned with the cooties crawling on the other man he would have hugged him and begged for forgiveness. “About that, I’m sorry. I think it is a great idea that you help Taec and everyone else.”
“Really?” Could Junsu’s eyes get any bigger? Jay suddenly felt like he was surrounded by the chibi version of 2pm. Junsu was all wide eyed and adorable, Khun was pouting adorably (though he hated to admit it), Taec had a giant toothy grin on his face, Wooyoung’s cheeks looked extra puffy at the idea of extra practice, Chansung had his brows furrowed in protest and baby Junho had his eyes in half moons as he smiled and was the only one that looked enthusiastic (and not because the man in charge was his boyfriend).
“Yes. Who wants to go first?” Jay had wanted someone else to go before NichKhun, see if he could get the jealousy bubbling in the always so cool Thai Prince.
“ME! Oh me, pick me! I wanna go first.” Of course, waving his arms in the air, it was his sweet baby Junho, always the people pleaser.
“Well Junsu, it’s up to you. Would you mind giving Junho a hand?” Jay put on his ‘do what I say and nobody gets hurt’ smile which, after last night, had an immediate effect on Junsu.
“Yyyy-yeah sure, Jay-hyung.” Junsu reached over Chansung and Wooyoung to grab Junho’s hand. “Come on Junho, let’s go to my room,” where it’s safe.
As the Jun brothers headed off, Jaebum felt rather pleased with himself. Nichkhun had sunk into himself in a sulk on the couch right in front of him and he couldn’t be happier. Soon, soon this would all be over and Nichkhun would know exactly how he had felt. Jay felt almost a little sad that all of this would end in a while. He actually quite liked being sneaky, he now understood why Nichkhun was always plotting. Hhhmmm, maybe they could plot something together next, as a sort of truce…Jay was pulled from his thoughts when Chansung suddenly bolted up and declared-
“I won’t stand for this any longer!” Wooyoung yanked the maknae giant back down by his arm.
“Will you calm down? What is wrong with you?” It came out in a whisper, though audible.
“I just don’t get why he was so eager, and what was with all the touching? And don’t give me any fan service bullshit, ‘cause there are no fans here.”
Chansung’s complaint was answered with a swift whack in the back of the head by the usually whiny Wooyoung. Jay had taken a seat by Taecyeon as he continued to eavesdrop on the harshly whispered conversation.
“Do not pull this crap on me Hwang Chansung! You know Junho has always been more physically affectionate.” Wooyoung scolded. “And before we started this-” he motioned a circle between them, “so were you!” Chansung crossed his arms indignantly against his chest and scrunched up his face in some sort of giant pout.
“Well I don’t like it.”
“Neither do I.” This response however came from Nichkhun. Jay resisted the urge to let out an evil genius ‘muahaha’. “I’m not waiting around. I’m going to go nap before dinner.” Nichkhun stood and stomped to his room, locking the door once more. Taecyeon, fed up with seeing his once sweet and paranoid Jaebum become evil, could no longer take the smug look on his boyfriend’s face. He stood.
“Where are you going?” Which in Jay speak translates to ‘why aren’t you watching my plot unfold with me?’
“I’m going to cook!” Which in Taec speak translates to ‘I don’t know what else to do with myself, so I am going to cook, even though you all think I can’t’.
The rest of the members decided to play video games but Wooyoung and Chansung were obviously distracted, peering over to Junsu’s room that seemed to be filled with giggling and very little singing. Jaebum at one point went over to see what the ruckus was about and merely backed away slowly from the sight that was presented in front of him. Junsu had Junho in a very awkward position that Junsu had immediately claimed was to help Junho loosen up his throat. Jay now knew where all the bananas went to…he shivered at the thought. He would never see Junsu - or his baby Junho - as innocent ever again. After Jay stumbled back into the living room, Wooyoung and Chansung could tell that their leader had saw something not so pleasant, like that time he had walked in on Jinwoon and Seulong…
The trio minus stared at Jaebum expectantly and after moments of continuous silence there was still no story.
“Well?” Wooyoung asked.
Jaebum gave them a look that said ‘don’t make me tell you, dear God please, don’t make me,’ which of course set the two off on a course to Junsu’s room. Jay ran to the kitchen to hide behind Taecyeon, this wouldn’t end well.
“Come to help your wonderful chef boyfriend?” Taec was in an apron and all smiles and Jay would have swooned had it not been for the impending doom.
“Huh? What? Yeah sure.” He half crouched behind the taller man.
“What are you doing?” Taec knew that with all Jay’s plotting he had been acting different, but this was just ridiculous. Before Jay could answer it happened. Wooyoung and Chansung had busted into Junsu’s room and all that could be heard in the dorm were the frightened cries of the Jun brothers.
Junho was being pulled through the halls by his two boyfriends and cornered in his room.
“What were you two doing that had Jay-hyung looking like he had just seen Seulong-hyung trying to swallow Jinwoon whole again?”
Junho remained silent as he rubbed the sore spots on his arms.
“Junnie come on, tell him so he calms down.” Wooyoung said trying to take over massaging the younger man only to have his hands slapped away. Junho shook his head and then took a notebook out of his nearby bag. He then wrote a little message and held it up.
I’m not talking to preserve my voice but you two are insane and mean and you probably hurt Junsu-hyung’s feelings and I don’t want to talk to either of you now anyways D:<
Junho then pushed the two boys out of his room and slammed the door. The two returned to the living room to argue and sulk amongst each other.
“Jay?” Taec said looking down at his boyfriend.
“Yeah?” he didn’t look up.
“What did you do now?” He began tapping his foot.
“What do you mean?” He straightened up to appear less guilty.
“Why is it that I can here Junsu practically wailing in his room about nobody liking him, Wooyoung and Chansung bickering in the living room, I’m pretty sure that was Junho that slammed a door closed and Nichkhun is still locked away? What kind of mess did you cause?”
“Me?!” Jay was shocked. “This is all Khun’s fault!” Obviously.
“And why is that?” Taec was reaching his limit of Jaebum’s insane logic today.
“He didn’t follow my plan.” Jay shrugged and took a sit at the kitchen table to watch his boyfriend cook. Taecyeon face palmed himself and got chili paste all over his face, making it look like he got into a fight. Jay was too upset over his plan falling apart to even try to count the cooties going into the food Taecyeon was preparing. Jay was going to have put all his energy into coming up with a step two for his evil plan if he was ever going to be able fix everything. Needless to say, the dinner Taecyeon actually cooked on his own never really got eaten that night and all the leftovers were put away for the next day.
A/N: It's a bit boring I know, but I waited so long to update and I really wanted to get something out in honor of their wins and this is all leading up to a big explosion of crack, I promise. However, I am working on a side piece to this part that explains what happened in Junsu's room between the Jun brothers and what exactly it was that Jay suddenly walks in on, I'm sure everyone thought it was completely random...