"I feel like there should be a little X-Files ticker along the bottom of the lawn here. Let everyone know when and where the next loser to do fits in the scheme of things..."

Joker pokes his head up from the sewer, patting the sling-bag hanging from his shoulder."Must be careful. Old dynamite and all. Wouldn't want to leave a trail of Joker- ( Read more... )

I've got a riddle for you, Baffles.

When is a villian not a villian?

When he leaves everyone around him scratching his head, or red-faced in embarassment. Have you looked in a mirror lately, Baffler? What is that costume? Sigfried and Roy called, and they think you're tacky. Anna Nicole Smith would be ashamed to be seen with you ( Read more... )

Well now, this does present a logistical difficulty. I've broken out of Arkham enough that they may as well simply install a revolving door...but ever since Wheels got her nose into my business and got me transferred to the Slab, I've been out of the loop ( Read more... )

Red Hood.

Bah.

It's embarrassing. The average is getting lowered by the day. Why, I remember the good old days, when it was me, the kittycat, Harvey, Dr. Crane, Eddie, Crocers...real heavy hitters.

I think maybe it's time we go back to a simpler time. Thin out the herd a bit ( Read more... )

Red Hood?

We'll just see about that.

*Joker angrily tosses aside some newspapers, and snatches up his long-barreled pistol, scratching his temple with the end of the barrel.*

Question is...how to make it the best gag I've pulled in a long time...the Joker bringing the Hood to justice before the Batman...?

(When last we left our intrepid pasty-faced Clown Prince of Crime, he'd been about to make a very stupid mistake, and try to torture Jason Blood. Been wondering where he's been, and what the result was? Read on...)

Joker ran the razor down the leather strap idly, watching Jason Blood sweat it out. Although, there wasn't much sweating going on ( Read more... )

Second term?

Second TERM???

And they say I'm the crazy one.

Sometimes, I think that it might be better if we just put this whole sorry world out of it's misery.

Actually, I think that pretty much all the time.

Joker turns to the man chained to the wall, a red rubber-ball gag jammed in his mouth to prevent him from speaking. He waves the ( Read more... )

"Please...please don't do this..."

Joker works in silence, stitching the bells onto the ends of the makeshift jester's cap he's pinned to the hair of his victim, a shivering, tear-streaked young woman. She's been dressed in a copy of Harley's costume, but it's not perfect, and it has to be, to suit his purposes ( Read more... )

Abandon me?

ME?!?!?

I do the leaving, not the other way around. And when I leave, you're gone too, of course...usually choking on your own blood or bile.

No...you do NOT do the leaving, Dr. Quinzel...

The Joker does NOT get dumped!

DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU BITCH??

*He turns, glaring at the terrified face of the pretty young blonde woman ( Read more... )

She's gone.

She's gone.

On the eve of one of my greatest triumphs.

She took her ball and went home?!?!

This. Is. INTOLERABLE.

Well...that's it, then.

I'll just have to go kill everyone I can find until she comes back.