(Untitled)

[lost_undercover]

Who: Dick Grayson, Billy Costigan; Paddy, Tim, Damon (Otherwise, open; ask to join)
When: Tues (1/11) to Mon (1/17)
Where: Dick's room
What: Costigan tries to get clean. Withdrawals ensue.
Warnings: Drug references, language, violence, hallucinations, self-harm

Comments

[lost_undercover]

Costigan had seemed fairly out of it for awhile. Even in the incident with Bourne, he had been almost entirely detached from the real world and now was not much better. Time continued to pass and to fade away without any rhyme or reason in the inmate's mind. Truly, he had absolutely no idea how much time had passed, why he felt the way he did, or even much of how he got to this place. His entire mind was noticeably absent given his current state, but the inmate seemed content laying there in an almost catatonic state for the last couple hours. His occasional shifts, mutterings, and looks proved that he wasn't actually in a place to be too concerned about, but he certainly needed to be watched

[lost_undercover]

Costigan let out a laugh at Dick's response, though it was tainted with agony. The undercover opened his eyes again at the latter assurance, meeting his warden's gaze. The inmate gently tried to remove his wrist from Dick's hand in order to guide the warden's fingers to the wound on his torso. He pressed the warden's hand there along with his own, flinching and grimacing even still at the sharp pains it caused. After a beat, he lifted both hands into his line of sight; his fingertips were covered in blood, but Dick's had none. He closed his eyes and scrunched them tight, then opened them again. The blood was gone from his own hands.

"Fuck," he replied softly, the pain in his torso unconsciously lessening just a hint. The inmate let go of Dick's forearm, but moved his closer hand to rest on Dick's closer bicep, trying to maintain physical contact as his eyes fell closed again. This kind of shit was miserable and he hated the idea of not being able to trust what he saw or heard.

[batmanschmatman]

Dick watched quietly as Costigan continued to put the pieces together, still not pushing him, letting him work things out himself, wondering vaguely about what he was seeing. He let Costigan move his hands as he wanted, knowing that he didn't need to restrain him as he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to start lashing out again. And Dick was perfectly fine with being used to reassure and remind the confused inmate of where they were and what was going on.

He shifted carefully into a more comfortable position, careful to hold Costigan's hand in place with one of his own until he stopped moving, not wanting it to seem like he was trying to pull away. "Take as long as you need. I'm not going anywhere."

[lost_undercover]

Costigan opened his eyes again, forcing a smile that lacked substance as he looked up at Dick. He forced a weak laugh. "Is it better or worse that I'm hallucinating instead of bleeding?"

The inmate groaned again before his other hand lifted to the couch. Using the piece of furniture on one side and Dick's shoulder on the other, he began to try to pull himself up into a sitting position in order to lean back against the couch and relax a little more. At least he felt like less of an invalid if he was seated rather than laying down.

[batmanschmatman]

"Better," he said immediately, and honestly, his voice still level and controlled. "Hallucinations aren't uncommon when you're coming off of the medication's you've been using."

He avoided the word "addiction", still not sure how actually aware of everything Costigan was. He seemed coherent enough, but that didn't really mean anything. He decided to gently probe for some more information. "Everything back to normal now? Do you remember where we are?"

[lost_undercover]

"Fahkin' wonderful," he muttered in reply to that thought, only just recalling exactly why he was here when Dick informed him of such. Costigan dropped his head into both hands, elbows on his knees, resting there as he tried to focus and to think. There were still odd sensations of creatures beneath his skin every now and then and he did his best to ignore them. Right now, he had to believe Dick, even if the man was lying, because it beat trusting the mind he knew wasn't working.

"I told you, we're in your room." He was trying to think where that room was. The former undercover couldn't picture any neighborhood or city associated with it. It took him a full minute of wracking his brain to finally elaborate on his answer at all. "This isn't home either. We're in a place we can't escape."

[batmanschmatman]

Dick paused for a beat before responding. He hadn't really thought about the Barge from the other side before. He'd sort of resigned himself to being here for as long as it took - and considering the deal he'd made with the admiral, he'd be here for a very, very long time - but he had sort of kept in mind that if he wanted to, he could pack up and go home. Not that he was going to. But Costigan didn't have that option. He'd read his file. You couldn't really just go home after getting shot in the head.

"More or less," he said softly, edged with sort of sympathetically bitter humor, before continuing in a stronger tone. "We're on the Barge."

[lost_undercover]

Costigan considered that statement for a moment, opening his mouth to ask what the fuck the Barge was. Instead, he closed it again and gave a small nod. The inmate finally dropped his hands away from his face and he looked over at Dick to fully regard him for a moment. He offered his agreement with the fresh understanding. "Right."

After a beat, he shifted uncomfortably and then started trying to stand on his own, or to at least make his way back up onto the couch he was leaning against a moment before. Even though it was obvious and he remembered why he was here, he felt the need to state the obvious. "I feel like shit."

[batmanschmatman]

Dick was quiet again until the inmate started moving, still thinking over what it must be like to know you were really trapped here. He was bound here by duty, not necessity, and he knew Costigan had been here for a long time. And people left all the time. What did it mean when they did? Were the inmates dead again, did wardens just go back without completing their deal?

Whatever. He wasn't going anywhere. By this point, Costigan was stuck with him for the long haul.

"Can't blame you," he said, immediately moving to help him back onto the couch. After a beat, he dropped the teasing and added in a more serious, honest tone: "You'll be okay."

[lost_undercover]

"Thanks, kid," Costigan muttered as Dick helped him up on the couch. He was normally the independent sort that hated asking for help or accepting it, but he also wasn't completely retarded and he knew that sometimes he needed the help. When the inmate was comfortably situated on the couch once again, he let out a groan and moved to lay down again without delay. Even though he couldn't sleep, it helped him to feel a little less like shit.

COMPLETED

[lost_undercover]