A bit too far.

[emptyyourself]

[Who:] House and Snape
[What:] PRANKWAR Mini-Log
[When:] Right after dinner.
[Where:] Level 7, Snape's room.

Comments

[the_house_rules]

House has had just about enough of this motherfucking Snape on this motherfucking barge.

Apparently coming out of nowhere was House, armed with a syringe of sodium pentothal he had stolen from the infirmary, sneaking quickly after Snape. He closed the last of their distance in a dash and grabbed Snape from behind, injecting him in the neck with the speed and precision of a man who had clearly done precisely this before.

[emptyyourself]

Snape had an instant to feel completely and utterly stupid for not paying attention. He was on a prison ship, after all. He staggered into his room under House's weight and, when he felt the needle go into his neck, reached for his wand.

He turned on the other man, his wand aimed somewhere to the left of House's head, where he was seeing a double of his attacker. His vision blurred and he stumbled to the right, muttering something that sounded like, "Going...kill...you."

His knees gave way, the world went black, and he collapsed in a heap on the floor.

My work here is finished.

[the_house_rules]

"Of course you will," House said patronizingly to Snape as he fell

Part 2 - In which there is a muggle duel.

[emptyyourself]

After acquiring some ill-fitting clothes from Tony, Snape dashed out of his room without bothering with such silly luxuries like his shoes. He had passed the point of rational thought. House had stolen his clothes, but far worse and infinitely more obscene, he had stolen his wand. Snape had awoken to a bar of soap crafted in the shape of a penis.

To make matters far worse, he'd been identified as Potter, of all people, and lectured for being a little snippy. He'd deal with them, later. If he was going to go on a murderous rampage, he was going to make the absolute most of it

House should be way more scared.

[the_house_rules]

House looked up from what he was doing when he heard a slam on his door. Whoever could it be?

House grinned as he heard the threats wafting in, and his eyes fell on the wand which was, even as the neighbors were lulled by the slamming, tucked in House's pencil cup. As yet House had not stood, he was just sitting stalking the network and listening as Snape threw his wimpy little body against his door.

That was, until he heard the wood beginning to splinter. Snape was literally breaking down the door. House felt, for the first time in all of this, a flash of real fear. The truth was that his pranks were usually pulled on people whose reactions he could gauge. Wilson was amusing to prank, because he got so incensed, and yet never did him any physical harm. Or rarely, he should say, and limitedly. But Snape was a wildcard, and if reading the books were any indication, the pantsing was probably a really fucking bad idea. Actually, he'd by lying if he said he hadn't been at least a little inspired by the books

Part 2 - In which there is a muggle duel.

[emptyyourself]

When you saw Snape without shoes, it was definitely time to start panicking. Shoes obviously hadn't been that important; certainly not more so than getting his wand and some revenge.

Snape launched himself full-tilt at House, flinging aside the chairs and leaping over the table, shouting, "Stop running, House! Stop running!"

He threw himself over the sofa to get between House and the bathroom; he had gotten through one door, but breaking down a second might be more than his poor shoulder could take. He still needed energy to throttle his nemesis.

But it was too late: House had made it there first. Snape yelled again, "Oh no, you don't!" and threw his full weight against the door to keep it from closing and - by proxy - locking.

Re: Part 2 - In which there is a muggle duel.

[the_house_rules]

If only House had been able to tear away from watching the trainwreck that was half-casual Snape taking his furniture in a single bound, he might have gotten in the bathroom. As it was, the spectacle was too much for him to handle, and he found himself on one side of a door push-of-war. House was desperately leaning against the door to close it.

And failing miserably. Beyond miserably, because he had been wearing socks and was now in the bathroom, on the tile floor, sliding like it was his job. He had no prayer of closing the door. There was actually a better chance that Snape would open the door into him and trap him between the door and the wall.

All this was done in stunned silence by the way. Stunned, panicked silence.