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thegooddrjones in lastvoyageslogs

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Feb 17, 2010 00:25

Who: Libby and Martha
When: Today.
Where: CES
What: Therapy.
Warnings: Flood and life trauma.

( Martha hadn't wanted to push her friend into therapy; she had hoped that finally being able to rest would settle the issue. )

libby widmore, martha jones

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thatlibbychick February 17 2010, 05:45:53 UTC

Libby had waited outside of the Enclosure for a minute or so after arriving, which was a minute or two later still than Martha had gotten there; finally, she figured she'd wait for her friend inside.

As it happened, not only had Martha thought along the same lines, but she'd also shown up first.

"Hey," she called out, giving a small smile and a wave to match as she made her way over to the spread. Inside, of course, she was nervous and ill at ease.

thegooddrjones February 23 2010, 05:24:21 UTC

"You were Dru's warden for a whole year, Libby. Of course it matters more than someone who had been here a few weeks. And you didn't fail him... I'm fairly certain the inmates who leave do it for a reason that doesn't have anything to do with us. I don't think there's anything we do to make them go or stay... they just are at the will of the Admiral. Just like the rest of us are." Martha took a deep breath before she went onto the next part.

"She did that. Not you. That mirror self who didn't feel any guilt for what she did. You feel guilt, and you never would have made him do it. Never. I know that about you!" There was a tightening, because she knew that.

thatlibbychick February 23 2010, 05:50:20 UTC

"You should have realized by now that you don't know anything about me," she said quietly. "I'm not even sure which 'me' is more real...the way I've been since I decided to turn my life around before Flight 815, or what came before."

She gave a dry, humorless laugh. "I talked Hugo down from jumping off a cliff a couple days before I was shot. He thought the Island and everyone on it were all in his head, that he'd snapped...and he said the one thing that made him so sure it couldn't be real was that I liked him. It wasn't the polar bear or the monster or the hostile natives kidnapping other survivors that made him question reality, it was my interest in him. I told him that it was all real...him, me, the way I felt about him--but I now I don't know how truthful that was. He didn't know anything about my past--he only knew this idealized version of me. Was I saying that surface version of myself was real? Was I lying to him?"

thegooddrjones February 23 2010, 06:15:08 UTC

"Libby, I know you're a good person, and you're my friend since I've been here. You've tried to help people, you have helped and you've done more good than you know. I probably would have left after Saxon killed me if it hadn't been for you." Truth, really...as she lay there dying, she had wanted to go home, but talking to Libby afterwards had helped her most.

"Did you like him, Libby? Really?" Martha knew the answer, but she wanted to hear her friend say it.

thatlibbychick February 24 2010, 01:48:12 UTC

She wanted to believe what Martha was saying, she wanted that more than anything, but she couldn't get past the little mental roadblocks the flood at set up for her. "Sometimes I'm positive I'm a good person. Other times, I'm just as positive that I'm not. But a good person...would never do the things I've done, for as long as I did them. They wouldn't be able to live with themselves."

She tensed. "I loved him, with everything in me," she said. "You know that--and you know that part's not what I'm talking about."

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