Fic: What the Heart Truly Hears
Title: What the Heart Truly Hears
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch (yes, this is femmeslash)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1697
Prompt: written for therealsnape for the Winter Fic Fest at rarepair_shorts - she asked for Missing scenes, teacher-fic, post-DH (Feel free to let Snape live or to ignore that absurdly het-centered epilogue. Otherwise, I like canon-compliance, angst, powerful women. and this is what she got in return!
Summary: While she looks like she's got everything under control, Minerva finds that she's pushing away everything, and everyone, that is important to her well-being.
Author's Notes: This takes place around Chapter 12/13 in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Thank you to cranky__crocus for the beta... as well as the idea that I could even write Madam Hooch in the first place!
There were two things that Minerva looked forward to at the beginning of each school year. The first was the Sorting Hat ceremony. It was, she felt, the first true moment they spent at Hogwarts. It was an honour for her to spend these moments with them as they learned their fate for the next seven years.
The second moment that Minerva always looked forward to was the start of Quidditch practice. No matter what workload she had with her classes, she made sure to be in attendance for the first Gryffindor practice. While she wanted her House to win (and who wouldn’t considering how Severus crowed with each Slytherin win), Minerva had other reasons for being on the pitch.
“Evening, Professor.” Rolanda didn’t even bother looking around. “Your team looks good this year. I’m impressed with the crew that Harry’s put together. For the most part.”
Minerva tried not to grimace but it was hard to hide her own irritation at Potter’s apparent lack of sense. Picking his best friend as Keeper wasn’t the worst thing he could have done but it was certainly in the top five. It was impossible to keep her emotions to herself when she was around Rolanda, though. Even though there was nothing on her face to give her away, the other witch still chuckled as if they’d been facing each other.
“Oh, do hush, Roe. Sometimes children do funny things but we can’t blame them. Aren’t you the one who told me that?”
“I tell you a lot of things. Normally you don’t listen to me. You must be losing your touch if you’re letting them get away with this nonsense.” She looked over her shoulder, her golden eyes gleaming in the faint light still streaking across the sky. “I would hate it if you’d lost your touch, Min.”
Heat shot across Minerva’s skin at the memories the intense look brought to the surface. “Not now,” she whispered, struggling for composure. “Not when the children are so close by.”
“The children are always close by.”
Minerva understood the woman’s frustration because she felt it, too. She hadn’t been able to find time for Rolanda lately, what with her usual duties and Albus being so distracted and leaving so much of the daily operations of the school on her capable shoulders. It was despicable that she was hiding behind excuses but there had been an uneasiness about their relationship of late. Nothing she could put her finger on… probably because she didn’t want to know what was wrong.
“You were aware of my duties as a professor when we started this relationship.” She pursed her lips together even though everything within her warned her of this reaction. “It didn’t bother you then.”
Rolanda turned sharply toward her for the first time. “When we started this relationship, I was just as important as your duties. Now if you will excuse me, I, too, have to get back to my responsibilities. I suggest you do the same.”
Because she knew any further conversation would only make the situation worse, Minerva did as Rolanda requested. It felt strange to walk away from this situation without trying to fix whatever it was that she’d damaged with her arrogance and pride. Something inside her felt strained, as if she’d overused a muscle or tendon that was in danger of tearing away from its mooring.
She was distracted by work for the next several weeks. So distracted, as a matter of fact, that she wasn’t able to spend much time at meals, other than to eat the food set in front of her. Nothing more. No conversation with the people around her. No trying to come up with the light-hearted banter that was the bane of her existence right now. It was hard enough just to keep a smile on her face so that she didn’t have to field questions about how she was feeling. It wasn’t any of their business.
As always, there were the children. She put her heart and soul into her classes each day, glad for an excuse not to think about what she was missing from her life at the moment. There were mumbled comments from some of the students, especially those that seemed to be targets for her stern discipline. She allowed no one to get away with any mischief; her full detentions were proof of that.
Katie Bell’s assault was the last straw. The mere thought that there was something now within the walls of Hogwarts that could hurt someone like it hurt Katie was truly beyond her imagination. Even after all the years of striving to right the wrongs of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named couldn’t have prepared her for the ways evil were still able to breach the walls of the school. It scared her more than she wanted to admit but she had no time to show her fear or fall apart. There were things that needed to be done first.
As she climbed up the stairs at long last toward the Infirmary, Minerva tried not to think of what she might find at the top. She knew that Severus would do everything he could but what if it wasn’t enough? What if the child was too far gone before he was able to help her?
Those questions and more tugged at her soul for the entire trip. When she reached the door at long last, Minerva felt as if her legs would carry her no further. So many things were wrong right now that she had no idea where to start fixing them all. Work her way back from the beginning or start with the biggest problem and hope that helped all the other snarls untangle themselves?
Minerva was leaning against the door, wondering if she would be able to find the strength to go in, when she heard Poppy talking just on the other side.
“…when they come to get her. Morning isn’t too far off now.”
They’re talking about Katie being moved to St. Mungo’s, she reminded herself as she began to panic. Nothing more.
“Severus did a fine job. As always.”
“Such a face you make. He-“
But Minerva wasn’t listening to what Poppy had to say in response. All she could hear was the roaring in her head. On the other side of the door stood her Roe. An hour ago she might have found herself turning around in an attempt to run away from what she considered only one of her many failures. She would not have felt she could find the right words to fix the problem or even explain what the problem was. At this point, it didn’t matter what words had been said in the past or what she might say at the present moment. Her Roe was so very close that it made her ache.
The door opened, pulling Minerva off-balance so that she fell into the room but instead of landing heavily on her outstretched arms, her fall was halted and she found herself encircled by arms she knew very well.
“Min?”
“You’re here,” she whispered, so full of joy she could barely find room for it all.
“Of course. Katie is one of my favorite students. A first-rate flyer.”
But Minerva wasn’t listening. The roaring was obliterating every sound but the beating of her heart. It was the only sound she needed to hear right now as she heard its' truth for the first time.
“I have been so wrong to let you become merely an afterthought in my life. I am nothing without you, Rolanda Hooch. Nothing.”
Rolanda was smiling, chuckling even. “What brought about this strange speech, Minerva? You look… Poppy, I think she just-“
The roaring took over and everything inside her body was reduced to static.
A cool hand brushed over her forehead. “Wake up, sweet Min. You’re starting to scare me.”
“What happened?” She opened her eyes wide enough to let in the view of the woman above her. Those lovely golden eyes were filled with enough love to make Minerva fight back tears. She'd missed this view.
“Once again, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you’re not sharing it.” Rolanda’s hand stroked back the wisps of hair clinging tenaciously to her sweaty forehead. “Why haven’t you come to talk to me? Why are you holding the problems all so close that no one can help you?”
“Would you help?” Minerva captured the comforting hand and brought it down to cup her cheek. “I’ve treated you so horribly, forgetting all that you are to me. I let life get in the way.”
“Is that what this has been about? The business of life? I thought I had done something to offend you.”
“You? Never.”
Rolanda traced a finger around her mouth, effectively stopping any further protests of her own inadequacies. Instead, Minerva began remembering all the other times they’d been in these same positions. Or ones similar to this. It didn’t matter, though. Her Roe was here and, with any luck, would stay forever.
“I’m going to need reminding of how thick-headed I can be.”
“You? No, my dear. Not thick-headed.” Rolanda stretched out beside her on the bed, their bodies fitting together perfectly as always. “Perhaps we’ll call it stunningly unaware and be done with it.”
“Such a wordsmith you are.” It might have been prudent to stop talking and allow the moment to pass on to other more pleasurable pursuits but Minerva didn’t feel that she’d said all that needed to be said. “I do love you, Roe. And I’ve missed you. Terribly, in fact.”
“Then never leave me again.”
Delight filled her heart. “My thoughts exactly.”
“We are agreed. That alone calls for a celebration. Would you like to make a toast on this auspicious occasion?”
“No. I think not. My wish for this moment is that you had less clothing on.”
Rolanda balanced herself on her elbow, tugging at the tie still smartly tied around her neck. “That I can do. Good thing I divested you of most of your clothing before putting you to bed.”
To show her thanks at such level-headed thinking, Minerva pulled Rolanda back down and kissed her until there was no more foolish talk. It was time to let everything else slip away but for the things that only their hearts could truly hear.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch (yes, this is femmeslash)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1697
Prompt: written for therealsnape for the Winter Fic Fest at rarepair_shorts - she asked for Missing scenes, teacher-fic, post-DH (Feel free to let Snape live or to ignore that absurdly het-centered epilogue. Otherwise, I like canon-compliance, angst, powerful women. and this is what she got in return!
Summary: While she looks like she's got everything under control, Minerva finds that she's pushing away everything, and everyone, that is important to her well-being.
Author's Notes: This takes place around Chapter 12/13 in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Thank you to cranky__crocus for the beta... as well as the idea that I could even write Madam Hooch in the first place!
There were two things that Minerva looked forward to at the beginning of each school year. The first was the Sorting Hat ceremony. It was, she felt, the first true moment they spent at Hogwarts. It was an honour for her to spend these moments with them as they learned their fate for the next seven years.
The second moment that Minerva always looked forward to was the start of Quidditch practice. No matter what workload she had with her classes, she made sure to be in attendance for the first Gryffindor practice. While she wanted her House to win (and who wouldn’t considering how Severus crowed with each Slytherin win), Minerva had other reasons for being on the pitch.
“Evening, Professor.” Rolanda didn’t even bother looking around. “Your team looks good this year. I’m impressed with the crew that Harry’s put together. For the most part.”
Minerva tried not to grimace but it was hard to hide her own irritation at Potter’s apparent lack of sense. Picking his best friend as Keeper wasn’t the worst thing he could have done but it was certainly in the top five. It was impossible to keep her emotions to herself when she was around Rolanda, though. Even though there was nothing on her face to give her away, the other witch still chuckled as if they’d been facing each other.
“Oh, do hush, Roe. Sometimes children do funny things but we can’t blame them. Aren’t you the one who told me that?”
“I tell you a lot of things. Normally you don’t listen to me. You must be losing your touch if you’re letting them get away with this nonsense.” She looked over her shoulder, her golden eyes gleaming in the faint light still streaking across the sky. “I would hate it if you’d lost your touch, Min.”
Heat shot across Minerva’s skin at the memories the intense look brought to the surface. “Not now,” she whispered, struggling for composure. “Not when the children are so close by.”
“The children are always close by.”
Minerva understood the woman’s frustration because she felt it, too. She hadn’t been able to find time for Rolanda lately, what with her usual duties and Albus being so distracted and leaving so much of the daily operations of the school on her capable shoulders. It was despicable that she was hiding behind excuses but there had been an uneasiness about their relationship of late. Nothing she could put her finger on… probably because she didn’t want to know what was wrong.
“You were aware of my duties as a professor when we started this relationship.” She pursed her lips together even though everything within her warned her of this reaction. “It didn’t bother you then.”
Rolanda turned sharply toward her for the first time. “When we started this relationship, I was just as important as your duties. Now if you will excuse me, I, too, have to get back to my responsibilities. I suggest you do the same.”
Because she knew any further conversation would only make the situation worse, Minerva did as Rolanda requested. It felt strange to walk away from this situation without trying to fix whatever it was that she’d damaged with her arrogance and pride. Something inside her felt strained, as if she’d overused a muscle or tendon that was in danger of tearing away from its mooring.
She was distracted by work for the next several weeks. So distracted, as a matter of fact, that she wasn’t able to spend much time at meals, other than to eat the food set in front of her. Nothing more. No conversation with the people around her. No trying to come up with the light-hearted banter that was the bane of her existence right now. It was hard enough just to keep a smile on her face so that she didn’t have to field questions about how she was feeling. It wasn’t any of their business.
As always, there were the children. She put her heart and soul into her classes each day, glad for an excuse not to think about what she was missing from her life at the moment. There were mumbled comments from some of the students, especially those that seemed to be targets for her stern discipline. She allowed no one to get away with any mischief; her full detentions were proof of that.
Katie Bell’s assault was the last straw. The mere thought that there was something now within the walls of Hogwarts that could hurt someone like it hurt Katie was truly beyond her imagination. Even after all the years of striving to right the wrongs of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named couldn’t have prepared her for the ways evil were still able to breach the walls of the school. It scared her more than she wanted to admit but she had no time to show her fear or fall apart. There were things that needed to be done first.
As she climbed up the stairs at long last toward the Infirmary, Minerva tried not to think of what she might find at the top. She knew that Severus would do everything he could but what if it wasn’t enough? What if the child was too far gone before he was able to help her?
Those questions and more tugged at her soul for the entire trip. When she reached the door at long last, Minerva felt as if her legs would carry her no further. So many things were wrong right now that she had no idea where to start fixing them all. Work her way back from the beginning or start with the biggest problem and hope that helped all the other snarls untangle themselves?
Minerva was leaning against the door, wondering if she would be able to find the strength to go in, when she heard Poppy talking just on the other side.
“…when they come to get her. Morning isn’t too far off now.”
They’re talking about Katie being moved to St. Mungo’s, she reminded herself as she began to panic. Nothing more.
“Severus did a fine job. As always.”
“Such a face you make. He-“
But Minerva wasn’t listening to what Poppy had to say in response. All she could hear was the roaring in her head. On the other side of the door stood her Roe. An hour ago she might have found herself turning around in an attempt to run away from what she considered only one of her many failures. She would not have felt she could find the right words to fix the problem or even explain what the problem was. At this point, it didn’t matter what words had been said in the past or what she might say at the present moment. Her Roe was so very close that it made her ache.
The door opened, pulling Minerva off-balance so that she fell into the room but instead of landing heavily on her outstretched arms, her fall was halted and she found herself encircled by arms she knew very well.
“Min?”
“You’re here,” she whispered, so full of joy she could barely find room for it all.
“Of course. Katie is one of my favorite students. A first-rate flyer.”
But Minerva wasn’t listening. The roaring was obliterating every sound but the beating of her heart. It was the only sound she needed to hear right now as she heard its' truth for the first time.
“I have been so wrong to let you become merely an afterthought in my life. I am nothing without you, Rolanda Hooch. Nothing.”
Rolanda was smiling, chuckling even. “What brought about this strange speech, Minerva? You look… Poppy, I think she just-“
The roaring took over and everything inside her body was reduced to static.
A cool hand brushed over her forehead. “Wake up, sweet Min. You’re starting to scare me.”
“What happened?” She opened her eyes wide enough to let in the view of the woman above her. Those lovely golden eyes were filled with enough love to make Minerva fight back tears. She'd missed this view.
“Once again, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and you’re not sharing it.” Rolanda’s hand stroked back the wisps of hair clinging tenaciously to her sweaty forehead. “Why haven’t you come to talk to me? Why are you holding the problems all so close that no one can help you?”
“Would you help?” Minerva captured the comforting hand and brought it down to cup her cheek. “I’ve treated you so horribly, forgetting all that you are to me. I let life get in the way.”
“Is that what this has been about? The business of life? I thought I had done something to offend you.”
“You? Never.”
Rolanda traced a finger around her mouth, effectively stopping any further protests of her own inadequacies. Instead, Minerva began remembering all the other times they’d been in these same positions. Or ones similar to this. It didn’t matter, though. Her Roe was here and, with any luck, would stay forever.
“I’m going to need reminding of how thick-headed I can be.”
“You? No, my dear. Not thick-headed.” Rolanda stretched out beside her on the bed, their bodies fitting together perfectly as always. “Perhaps we’ll call it stunningly unaware and be done with it.”
“Such a wordsmith you are.” It might have been prudent to stop talking and allow the moment to pass on to other more pleasurable pursuits but Minerva didn’t feel that she’d said all that needed to be said. “I do love you, Roe. And I’ve missed you. Terribly, in fact.”
“Then never leave me again.”
Delight filled her heart. “My thoughts exactly.”
“We are agreed. That alone calls for a celebration. Would you like to make a toast on this auspicious occasion?”
“No. I think not. My wish for this moment is that you had less clothing on.”
Rolanda balanced herself on her elbow, tugging at the tie still smartly tied around her neck. “That I can do. Good thing I divested you of most of your clothing before putting you to bed.”
To show her thanks at such level-headed thinking, Minerva pulled Rolanda back down and kissed her until there was no more foolish talk. It was time to let everything else slip away but for the things that only their hearts could truly hear.