SEX!
Well that got your attention! And now for the rant…I cannot hold it in any longer. I tried. I tried the whole, everyone has to make their own stupid mistakes and who am I to judge BS and I’ve come to realize that’s just a complete load of shit.
I had a conversation with a group of furs at AC this year that really bothered me, no it PISSED ME OFF. I tried to let it roll off my back and even went with a good-riddance-to-bad-rubbish attitude for a while, but apparently it’s still eating at me and in light of recent developments I’m just bubbling over.
So what happened?
I’m sitting with a group of about 7 furs ranging from obvious use-me-for-sex types to quite intelligent and clean cut looking. We got on the topic of safe sex because I had a few condoms and asked if they would take them/put them places/give them to people they knew, whatever just help put them to good use. Apparently I insulted their delicate natures because they threw the condoms back in my face like I was trying to curse them with a shriveled dick. THEY ACTUALLY SAID TO ME:
“The only disease I fear is babies and since I’m gay I have nothing to worry about.”
“Anything I can catch is curable nowadays.”
“I don’t like condoms because I can’t feel it.”
“I don’t need these only dirty people like you who think about it need these.”
“I get tested so I know I’m clean.”
They ALL had a cool kids don’t use condoms attitude. I was shocked and insulted! I tried letting it go because maybe I embarrassed them and most furs have no idea how to act around a female so whatever, enjoy your blistered and itchy rash right? But deep down they MEANT it, they don’t use condoms. And they aren’t the only ones, I’ve talked to LOTS of furs and more than 1/2 of those I’ve talked to do not, yet they have no problem sleeping with the warm body that happens to be next to them.
Why does this bother me? Especially if I’m not sleeping with em?
Let me tell you another story. A TRUE story. I know a fur. Who’s name I will not mention, I will never mention so don’t ask. This fur has HIV. This fur is very angry about having HIV because he feels he didn’t deserve it. So in that brilliant way we have of harming others when we are angry I KNOW FOR A FACT he sleeps around and doesn’t tell his partners and doesn’t use condoms. I unfortunately don’t know who exactly he sleeps with because he cut me completely out of his private life long ago (and don’t speculate on who it might be none of the people on this LJ have ever seen me n him hang out). But the fact is, he’s out there, PURPOSEFULLY spreading HIV, and thinking about it he’s probably not the only one.
So what brought this all back up to the surface?
Tony Ringtail made a very touching post that just hit home how real my fears are: http://tonyringtail.livejournal.com/94217.html
There are MANY MANY diseases that ARE NOT curable!!!
The benefit of being someone people tell their secrets to is I get to learn things like: Most people who SAY they get tested actually do not! They SAY they do because it’s easy to say, but in reality it’s been over a year since their last test, or they decided to skip their last 6-month check up. Think about that one, have you seen their test results?
More importantly, Getting tested is NOT preventing disease, it’s checking after the fact!
You may think you are above it all, untouchable, indestructible, but see that person you have a crush on? How would you feel if they gave you something incurable? If you gave it to them?
I’m not saying don’t have sex or anything like that, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use a condom. I know people will just go on doing what they want to do whether I rant or not, but at least I’ve said my piece and now you know there ARE people out there who KNOW they have something and yet tell people they are clean. And they could have given it to someone you love.
EDIT Wow the responses! I'm glad this has energized so many people to fix the problems and actually started a furry movement! If you want to help spread the word, add ideas, volunteer, anything to stop the insanity a community is forming at: yiffsafely.
I had a conversation with a group of furs at AC this year that really bothered me, no it PISSED ME OFF. I tried to let it roll off my back and even went with a good-riddance-to-bad-rubbish attitude for a while, but apparently it’s still eating at me and in light of recent developments I’m just bubbling over.
So what happened?
I’m sitting with a group of about 7 furs ranging from obvious use-me-for-sex types to quite intelligent and clean cut looking. We got on the topic of safe sex because I had a few condoms and asked if they would take them/put them places/give them to people they knew, whatever just help put them to good use. Apparently I insulted their delicate natures because they threw the condoms back in my face like I was trying to curse them with a shriveled dick. THEY ACTUALLY SAID TO ME:
“The only disease I fear is babies and since I’m gay I have nothing to worry about.”
“Anything I can catch is curable nowadays.”
“I don’t like condoms because I can’t feel it.”
“I don’t need these only dirty people like you who think about it need these.”
“I get tested so I know I’m clean.”
They ALL had a cool kids don’t use condoms attitude. I was shocked and insulted! I tried letting it go because maybe I embarrassed them and most furs have no idea how to act around a female so whatever, enjoy your blistered and itchy rash right? But deep down they MEANT it, they don’t use condoms. And they aren’t the only ones, I’ve talked to LOTS of furs and more than 1/2 of those I’ve talked to do not, yet they have no problem sleeping with the warm body that happens to be next to them.
Why does this bother me? Especially if I’m not sleeping with em?
Let me tell you another story. A TRUE story. I know a fur. Who’s name I will not mention, I will never mention so don’t ask. This fur has HIV. This fur is very angry about having HIV because he feels he didn’t deserve it. So in that brilliant way we have of harming others when we are angry I KNOW FOR A FACT he sleeps around and doesn’t tell his partners and doesn’t use condoms. I unfortunately don’t know who exactly he sleeps with because he cut me completely out of his private life long ago (and don’t speculate on who it might be none of the people on this LJ have ever seen me n him hang out). But the fact is, he’s out there, PURPOSEFULLY spreading HIV, and thinking about it he’s probably not the only one.
So what brought this all back up to the surface?
Tony Ringtail made a very touching post that just hit home how real my fears are: http://tonyringtail.livejournal.com/94217.html
There are MANY MANY diseases that ARE NOT curable!!!
The benefit of being someone people tell their secrets to is I get to learn things like: Most people who SAY they get tested actually do not! They SAY they do because it’s easy to say, but in reality it’s been over a year since their last test, or they decided to skip their last 6-month check up. Think about that one, have you seen their test results?
More importantly, Getting tested is NOT preventing disease, it’s checking after the fact!
You may think you are above it all, untouchable, indestructible, but see that person you have a crush on? How would you feel if they gave you something incurable? If you gave it to them?
I’m not saying don’t have sex or anything like that, just PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use a condom. I know people will just go on doing what they want to do whether I rant or not, but at least I’ve said my piece and now you know there ARE people out there who KNOW they have something and yet tell people they are clean. And they could have given it to someone you love.
EDIT Wow the responses! I'm glad this has energized so many people to fix the problems and actually started a furry movement! If you want to help spread the word, add ideas, volunteer, anything to stop the insanity a community is forming at: yiffsafely.