My sword, my shield

[lampbane]

(This isn't related to heehaw_tng, not really, so do me a favor and stow any comments on that. It's a bit rude of me to say, but I do hate how any kind of introspection can be taken to mean there's relationship problems

Comments

[eideteker]

Will you (and I'm not asking you to stand as proxy for your gender) be ok with some enthusiastic cheerleading from the sidelines?

Mainly, I just want to feel involved. Though I know it's not about me.

(and I won't say anything patronizing like "you go, girl!" Ugh.)

[lampbane]

I don't mind guys being supportive. I just don't like guys taking complete control. Especially as, and I've had experience with this, I've had enough instances where guys try to protect the girl and end up just mucking the whole thing up. I didn't mention that in the post, but that's why I felt the need to make it.

[ersigh]

That's a bit of a pet peeve for me. I think it's a form a misogyny that gets dismissed as "well meaning."

It's possible to be supportive and protective in functional/helpful ways.

[gunslnger]

But when someone is being a big meanie or something sad is happening, dude, just step back, I totally got this.

I just wanted to say that my wife expects the opposite, that she wants me to step in and help defend her as that's part of our emotional bond. It's mutual though, I would expect her to jump in and help me too.

[trishalynn]

I think that because some women are emotional messes (like me), we appreciate the fact that someone else is on our side in a certain matter. Obviously, you're not this kind of woman (or person), but I think that the kinds of women who are like this are more prevalent than the other.

[lampbane]

As you see in the above comment, my general problem tends to be the guys who make the problem worse or create problems for themselves in trying to be protective.