Working Through Part 17/90

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Chapter 17

Kris didn't know how much longer he could take the weirdness of everything that was surrounding him and looking to his husband for help was useless. Adam sat squashed together with Kris on the lazy boy chair smiling at what he was witnessing. Kris tried not to roll his eyes but with Adam , Cheeks and all of his oldest friends in one room rolling his eyes was called for.

“Okay explain it to me again.” Cheeks stood with his hands on his hips in the middle of the room wearing his usual tight jeans and nothing much else. “You're a cheer leading coach but you're not gay?” Two of Kris's friend shook their heads. “Okay by not gay you mean you haven't told Mommy and Daddy yet but you're out every night hitting on cute twinks like me?” Kris watched in horror as his closed friends tried to understand the funny little man in the middle of the room.

“Brad they don't kiss boys.” Adam said trying his best to help out the confused boys.

“But they're cheer leaders Adam.” Cheeks pointed out.

“Straight cheer leaders.” Adam answered with a smile knowing that Cheeks would not accept that for an answer.

“Oh like that could ever happen. That's like saying there are straight figure skaters in the world. It just doesn't happen.” Cheeks commented with a smile.

“Anyway.” Kris sighed loudly speaking for the first time since everyone had arrived. “You guys have a good flight?” Kris ignored Adam's teasing giggle and listened to his friends idol chatter about their journey. It felt good to be surrounded by his husband and friends, even Cheeks if he had to admit it. Even Adam looked like he was enjoying himself or he was a better actor that Kris had thought. But Kris wasn't going to worry about Adam, his worry was kept for Cheeks who Kris had just realised was trying to put both legs over his friend Aaron's shoulders.

“Cheeks stop that.” Kris shouted like he was scolding a naughty child.

“But he asked me to.” Cheek's complained as he climbed down.

….........................................................................

It was Adam's turn to be weird out as he sat around the tv with his husband and friends and watched some sort of sports game. He tried to cheer along when ever everyone else did but really if it wasn't for the fact that Cheeks was there too he would have gave up and walked out over an hour ago.

“Pass the damn thing will you?” Kris shouted at the tv screen while stuffing his face full of chips. Adam couldn't believe his cute little twink of a husband had gone from quiet and cool to a crazy beer drinking wild man in under an hour. If Adam was honest with himself he was a little turned on by it all even with a mouth full of chips his husband still looked good enough to eat. It was the first time they had sat down together side by side to watch a sports game and Adam was wondering why they had never done it a lot sooner. It was just a little annoying that it took a bunch of sweaty sports players to turn his quiet husband wild.

“Okay for heavens sake there has to be more than one ball there. Why are they all fighting over that one?” All eyes landed on Cheeks. “What? Is that a stupid question to ask?”

One by one the jocks all rolled their eyes causing Adam to breath a sigh of relief that he didn't ask that question first.

“Is your team winning baby?” Adam whispered the baby part so he didn't embarrass his husband in front of his friends.

“Playing like a group of girl scouts.” Kris mumbled not taking his eyes off the tv screen. He balled his fists together as his jaw clenched shut at whatever was happening in the game.

As gently as he could Adam slipped his hand under Kris's top to rub circles in his husband's lower back. “Baby it's just a game.” Adam whispered.

Kris's whole body tensed as Adam massaged his skin with his strong hand. “They have to win this one.” Kris answered.

“Because the world will end if they don't?” Adam laughed as he wrapped his hand around Kris's waist.

“Yea very funny.” Kris snapped. “And will you stop touching me I'm trying to watch the game.” Kris wiggled out of Adam's reach.

“I'm going to go check on Sophia.” Adam said quietly as he stood from the lazy boy. Kris kept his eyes on the tv ignoring Adam as he walked away.

….............................................................

Adam lay on top of he and Kris's bed with Sophia laying on his chest her tiny face pressed against his cheek.

“I don't know what's up with your Daddy today baby but I don't think it's about his precious game. I'm telling you honey I have no fucking.....” Adam paused biting his bottom lip as he look at his daughter. “You don't tell anyone I just cured I won't tell them you dribble in your sleep. Deal?” Sophia snuggled her face into Adam's neck. “I'm taking that as a yes.” Adam brought his hand up to Sophia's back rubbing it gently. “It's not like we've never fought. There were times I'm ashamed to say I could have easily strangled your Daddy's cute little neck. But this is supposed to be the fun times baby. Do you know your Daddy has been talking about you for years. He's been dreaming you up in his mind all his life.” Adam explained to his daughter. “You're his first real love baby and I just wish he would enjoy this time while he can cause you won't want to be laying on our chests for snuggles for very long. You'll want to get out there in the world and you won't want your crazy old dads around. We need to enjoy the snuggles while we can. I just wish Daddy would see that. I wish he would Remember his dreams of you. They were so beautiful baby and yes I did feel a little freaked out at first but your Daddy soon changed my mind.

Flashback

Adam really didn't see what the deal was. Sure it was cute but so were his new leather boots didn't mean they had to throw a party for them. As he and Kris approached the hospital room he made sure he was hiding behind his boyfriend not that it made much difference he was still head and shoulders above the smaller man. Adam held back at that door as he watched as his boyfriend fussed over the tiny bundle in his arms.

“Look Adam. Look at his hands.” Kris gushed.

“Cool.” Adam mumbled. When Kris had asked him to come and see his friend's new born baby in the hospital Adam had thought of every excuse not to but one look at his baby's pouting lips and he was agreeing. But standing watching his baby gushing over a real baby he was beginning to wish he had been stronger and said no.

“Want to hold him Adam?” Kris asked walking towards his boyfriend.

“What? Oh hell no.” Adam stepped back against the wall. “This is a vintage leather jacket.” He said pulling at his black leather coat.

“Oh just hold him you big girl.” Kris laughed.

“Vintage leather Kris.” Adam said.

Kris shook his head laughing as he turned back to the new mother. “Hope he's not going to be like this when we have kids.” Kris laughed handing the baby back to his mother.

…............................................................

Adam lay in the dark looking up at the ceiling as he replayed his boyfriends words in his head. They had only been going out a few months hardly anyone knew about them and Kris was talking babies. If it was anyone else Adam would have been gone by now but it wasn't just anyone it was his baby so for his baby he would lay quietly and freak out inside his head.

“Mmm Adam.” Kris rolled onto his side throwing his leg over Adam's thighs. “Can't sleep?”

“Something like that.” Adam sighed running his fingers through Kris's messy hair.

“Want me to make you some hot milk that always helps you sleep.” Kris kissed at Adam's bare chest making him melt just a little.

“No thanks and I told you that in secret so I don't want you using it against me.” Adam joked.

“Never. And you won't tell anyone I like to snuggle.”

“Oh baby one look at you and people know you like to snuggle.” Adam laughed.

“Bet they don't know you like to snuggle.” Kris leaned up on his elbow to look down at his boyfriend. “That you like to have soft little kisses on the lips when we make love.” Kris leaned down to kiss Adam quickly on the lips. “Or how you put your hand on the back of my head when I drive us anywhere so you can give me little massages. How heartbreakingly gentle you are when you move in and out of me while you whisper how much you love me in my ear.”

Adam fought back the tears as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “ I love how I look in your eyes.” Adam whispered. “I wish the world could see me the way you do.”

“The world isn't lucky enough to see you how I do. I'm the only one that gets to see past the wild guy liners wearing guy and see the gentle man that likes to snuggle.”

Adam smiled up at his boyfriend all his doubts and fears leaving him with just one look. “I love you so much.”

“You better after all those amazing things I just said about you.” Kris joked laying his head back on to Adam's chest. “So why can't you sleep?”

“Just thinking about our day.” Adam sighed.

“You're stressing out about what I said at the hospital aren't you.” Kris asked as he settled his chin on Adam's chest to look up at him.

“I'm trying not to.” Adam admitted.

“You don't think about kids?”

“I honestly don't” Adam admitted running his hand through Kris's hair. “The idea frightens me the fuck out.”

“Yea springing that on you after a few months probably not my best idea ever.”

“Not the timing that the problem.” Adam admitted.

Kris leaned up to look Adam directly at Adam. “You don't want kids?”

“I can honestly say I've never thought about it.” Adam sat up causing Kris to sit up too. “But you have.” Adam looked ahead at the wall in front of him. He knew this was an important conversation, that his conversation could end with Kris walking out on him.

“I've thought about it yes. I thought everyone did.”

“Gay men don't.” Adam admitted.

“Gay men can have kids.” Kris reminded him.

“The truth is I don't think I would make a good father. I'm too selfish.” Adam said pulling his knee's to hug them to his chest.

“Bullshit.” Kris snapped causing Adam to turn and look at him. “Don't put yourself down like that when you know it's not true. All those nice things I just said about you well there true and I happen to think you would make an amazing Dad.” Kris pulled Adam back down on the bed again. “But you don't want to be a dad do you?”

“I wouldn't want to fuck up someone's life.” Adam admitted.

“I wouldn't let you.” Kris lay his head on Adam's shoulder. “I know this sounds weird after only a few months but I've thought about kids with you.”

Adam tried not keep his body relaxed as he listened to his husband speak. “Oh yea?”

“Without having you running for the door yes I have. I know we haven't talked about the future but I would like you in mine.” Kris said as he ran his hand over Adam's bare chest.

“I'll be there.” Adam answered.

“As my lover?” Kris asked with doubt in his voice.

“As your everything. I'm always going to be yours.” Adam whispered.

“That's what I see in my future. You're mine and we are a family.”

“With kids? Adam asked.

“With kids yes.” Kris ran a fingertip over Adam's heart. “You have such a big heart I know there's room for a baby in there.” Kris rested his mouth over Adam's chest. “And I think any kid with you for a Daddy would be pretty lucky. You were made to be a family man.”

“You give me too much credit.”

“You would love it.” Kris continued. Sitting up he moved up the bed to lay his head on Adam's pillow. “Watching someone you love grow from a little baby into a full person . Watching them learn to walk and talk. Teaching them about the world and helping them turn into the best they can be. Holding them when they cry, cheering for them as loud as you can when they do good. Adam you were born for that. We both were.” Adam stayed silent as Kris looked at him. “Anyway.” Kris smiled. “That's the future there's time for that. Right now you need your sleep.”

“Yea.” Adam sighed.

“Night baby.” Kris kissed Adam's cheek before moving to his own pillow.

“Night.” Adam said as he moved himself over to Kris's pillow before closing his eyes.

End Of Flashback

Kris stood at the bottom of the bed looking at his husband and daughter.” Adam?” Kris's voice came out in a soft whisper.

“Yea?” Adam answered without opening his eyes.

“Adam?” Kris repeated.

Adam opened his eyes slowly to see his husband in tears at the bed of the bed.

“I'm an asshole.” Kris choked out.

Adam held out his hand.” Come here.”

Kris crawled over the bed and into his husband's arms. “I'm so sorry.” He pressed his face into Adam's neck.

“It's okay baby.” Adam whispered. “We'll work through it. I'm not going to let you go.” Adam held Kris against him while Sophia lay asleep on his chest. “I love you . That's all that matters right now Okay. Nothing else but what's in this bed matters right now.” Kris nodded Adam's neck. “Good now get some sleep and when you wake up I'll be here.” Adam lay with both the loves of his life in his arms and listened as both of them fell into a deep sleep. He had to smile even with everything going on because Kris had been right all those years ago. He was made to be a family man.

Part 18
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