Middle Earth has become the slowest thing EVER since that retarded snail over there. I'm even trying to cut back on my habit of adding random swear words into my sentences, for Christsake!
Today I decided that I should paint my toenails. But then I decided to paint my fingernails first, and that didn't quite work and I got a gigantic mass of black nail polish all over my vintage shirt. It had The Sex Pistols on it too
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