Why stories are like babies and prom dresses, and when it's ok to ask someone to cut them to pieces

[ladytairngire]

An author friend of mine recently posted (in private, so I won't say who) about a random internet stranger who asked her for writing advice and then got emo when she didn't like the critique she received

Comments

Bloodied Babies

[ext_388811]

Strange, but I actually prefer to have my stories ripped to shreds in a legitimate critique--the more blood, the better. How can a writer turn down constructive and well-considered criticism?

However, on the flip side, when I'm providing a critique, I tend to pull my punches. I may want to rev the chainsaw, but rarely do. Not entirely sure why. Perhaps, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "What if I'm wrong?"

Re: Bloodied Babies

[ladytairngire]

I feel like I tend to focus more on the negative than the positive. I'm not out to hurt people's feelings, but there's a lot more to learn from criticism than accolades, right? I feel bad, sometimes, but at least I try to phrase things in helpful ways.

Not that I don't love to hear the good stuff, personally, but it should not be the highlight of a critique. Throw in something positive to buffer the bad, reassure the prima donna artist (because we are) that they don't need to jump off the bridge... buuuuut..

[aellwynde]

Well said.

And on the related note, I am sorry. I never fully said that to you, but I am. It is something that I've thought of from time to time while I've allowed my shit to overwhelm. I'm sorry.

[ladytairngire]

You have a pass.

Plus, the version of the manuscript I sent you so long ago was just awful. I'd much rather you read the finished product. You know, when it's published and everything. ;)

And for the record, I once was "that jerk". A very nice person I barely knew asked me to critique something and I said yes, then just didn't have the energy to actually follow through. I still feel bad about it.

[aellwynde]

I've found, for myself, the things that I am the most vigilant about in my own sense of right and wrong, my own idea of integrity, often stem from the things I've royally screwed up on in the past... :)

For the record, I did read it- and it wasn't awful. It wasn't DONE, but it wasn't "awful".