FIC: Just Don't Call Me Claire, Part Three
Title: Just Don’t Call Me Claire (3/8, completed)
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One ♥ Part Two
Next Part:
Part Three
As Kurt shred a napkin into tiny pieces, looking pale and determined, Mercedes cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips.
This stupid boy.
"You have got to stop doing this. Blaine wouldn’t want you to be so stressed out over him."
“You don’t understand.” Kurt ignored his coffee and sighed, looking at the door.
“I understand how this is messing with your head,” she argued.
“There are worse things to be called than a girl,” he whispered. His hands stilled, and he reached for one of the scones they’d gotten. “There’s nothing wrong with girls. If you are one. I call myself an honorary girl.”
The breaking of The Great Carb Embargo of 2011 was a sign to be worried in itself.
“You know I know you don’t have a problem with women. It’s not about that.” She watched him for a moment, then touched his hand. “Don’t act like we haven’t talked about how much it bothers you to have to pretend to be someone else.”
Kurt raised his shoulders and quirked his mouth to the side. “It could be worse. Trans people get misgendered all the time, and then people aren’t even sorry when they do it. This is just one family.”
“But you know you’re going to do it again. Today.” Mercedes scratched her hairline and closed her eyes with a frown. “What can I do to make this stop?”
“Make Blaine’s parents shape up. Maybe join PFLAG.” Kurt checked his phone, then pulled out a little tube of sparkly pink lipgloss. “Anyway, it was harder to put on that performance of Hummelian butch masculinity for a week last year. This is just... it’s tolerable, if Blaine is still smiling.”
“You are crazy as a soup sandwich, Kurt.”
He rolled his eyes and applied the lipgloss. “Just don’t call me Claire.”
Mercedes followed Kurt’s eyes as the door to the cafe rang and Blaine walked through with a woman about his height. She could see Blaine’s handsome features in his mother, especially in the dark, merry eyes, and the lingering curl to her carefully coiffed hair. Mercedes smiled a little as they approached. They were just two incredibly good looking people.
“Hey!” Blaine was a ball of energy today, bouncing forward and landing beside their table. “Thanks for letting us join you today.”
“Not a problem.” Kurt smiled sweetly.
It was a problem, as far as Mercedes was concerned. She’d already booked him for a sleepover as compensation for the time Blaine was stealing from them. The bigger problem, though, was the way Kurt had already tensed up in anticipation of what Blaine’s mother might say.
Lea leaned down to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek and sat down beside him.
“I’ll go get us some drinks.” Blaine jerked his thumb behind him, then bounced off again.
“So you’re Mercedes?” Lea asked.
“Yep. That would be me.”
“Do you go to Kurt’s school?”
Oh, Lordy. There was a question. “No, I went to the school h- Uh. Kurt transferred this year to private school, and we met at William McKinley High before that.”
“I see. I bet you miss having her in class with you.”
Mercedes sucked in her cheeks a little as she saw Kurt taking a deep breath. “It’s not the same without my best girlfriend around. I’d’ve followed Kurt to private school, if it was possible.”
“It’s nice to meet someone so close to her. She’s made a real impression on our family.” Lea touched her fingertips to the little gold crucifix hanging around her neck. “You should have seen her sing with Blaine at our community picnic last week. I’m not sure everyone appreciated it, but I just loved seeing them sing together.”
She elbowed Kurt. “They were so sweet.”
“Kurt doesn’t believe me when I say it’s only a matter of time before Blaine clues into his feelings.” Mercedes gave Kurt a little smirk. He looked ready to crawl out of his skin, but the normal feeling of being teased about Blaine seemed to help. It was harder than she’d thought to avoid pronouns. She could have just dropped in the girl ones, but she didn’t want to contribute to his obviously growing discomfort.
Kurt frowned at them both in irritation. “Blaine doesn’t feel that way about me. What’s wrong with having a good friend?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Lea rested her cheek on her hand as she smiled at Kurt. He just sighed, and she patted his forearm. “We’re just teasing, sweetheart. We’ll stop.”
“Thanks.”
Blaine returned with coffee for himself and his mother. He had his normal order, and she had an espresso, which she sipped gracefully as Mercedes started a conversation about the current drama going on in glee club now that Rachel had found out about Quinn and Finn.
“She sang “Betrayed” from The Producers in front of the club. It didn’t really work, thematically. You’d think she had the copyright on Finn. You and I told her over and over to get over him.” Mercedes looked to Kurt.
“I had inside information on that one recently. I’m more surprised that he listened to me and told her what was going on.” Kurt had stopped eating his scone and drinking his coffee and was now destroying another napkin.
“You’re friends with Finn as well?” Lea asked.
“He’s my brother.”
“Finn’s so tall, Mama,” Blaine said, dunking his biscotti. “He’s 6’3!”
“Jealous?” she teased.
“Oh. So much.”
The three of them chatted comfortably for almost an hour, and Kurt relaxed as time went on. Eventually, Lea checked her watch and lifted her head in a signal to Blaine.
“We should get going. We have some stores to hit,” Blaine said.
“It was great meeting you, Mercedes. I’ve not had the opportunity to talk to any of Kurt’s friends.” Lea rose gracefully and brushed her hands over the front of her dress. “You girls are both so witty and intelligent. It’s good to know the next generation has a good head on its shoulders.”
Blaine had been bending over to pick up his coat, then turned to look at his mother with a confused frown, as though he’d perhaps heard wrong.
“Ready, Blaine?” Lea slipped her wrap over her shoulders and gave them one more warm smile before heading for the door.
“I’ll call you later,” Blaine promised, then hurried after her.
Mercedes watched them leave, then slapped her hands against the table. “Oh, shit!”
Kurt burst into laughter and covered his face.
“Who needs tv when I have your crazy ass life to watch?”
“Right?” Kurt curled his finger down and pressed them against his mouth. “Just us girls!”
“Oh, Kurt, we a credit to our generation!”
They both laughed and laughed until tears were running down their cheeks. Mercedes calmed herself just long enough to go sit by Kurt and hug him around the shoulders, because somewhere under that laughter and those tears he needed it. People just stared at the two teenage “girls” cracking up at the table by themselves.
***
Kurt got nervous before performances. He had before every major competition so far, despite an utter lack of solos in each, and he’d only not been nervous before Nationals with the Cheerios because Sue had sprung an auto-tuner on him a few weeks before the competition and he was more angry than panicking... Until after they’d finished and Santana told him she’d turned the tuner practically all the way down. Then he’d almost exploded.
He didn’t have that much to be nervous about for Regionals. He wasn’t featured as a singer or a dancer, but he’d managed to nail the background moves cold with some help from David. Blaine was leading them as usual with Beyoncé, “Diva” this time, as their anthem, while Nick, Jeff, and David would lead them in both vocals and dance routine with Bowling for Soup’s “High School Never Ends.” Kurt’s biggest worry was that they would win and that would mean trouble for New Directions despite their Cheerios-influenced expanded budget.
Until he spotted Blaine’s parents in the audience.
His heart in his throat, Kurt bolted down the hallway and rapped on the waiting room where New Directions was bunking down between performances. Sam was the one to open the door, and all of the members looked at him curiously.
“Mercedes!” He didn’t have the time to explain, so he motioned frantically for her to come out into the hall.
“Did something happen? Hold on!” Mercedes moved as fast as she could in her heels through the lounging gleeks and closed the door behind her. “What is it?”
“Blaine’s parents are here. What am I going to do? I can’t tell him all this right before our performance! I can’t do that to him!”
Mercedes caught both of his hands. “Hold on! Just let me think for a minute...”
Kurt’s eyes grew increasingly rounder, and he began bouncing on his toes. “Ahhh...”
“Okay, okay. Chill. Look, you guys wear uniforms, and you are not the only skinny white boy up there. They probably won’t recognize you on stage. Not unless they’re in the front row and you have a solo. Do you?”
“No.”
“Yes!!” Rachel shouted from behind the door.
“THANK YOU!” Kurt slammed his palm against the door and then pulled Mercedes down the hallway out of earshot. “So I can... okay. Um. I think I saw them sitting somewhere in the middle.”
“Yeah, then... okay, afterward, you need to get out of there. Fake illness or something, and...”
“And make sure they don’t have a moment to see me in my uniform. Okay. Okay.” He drew in a breath very slowly and closed his eyes, nodding a few times. “I think I have a plan. Thanks, Mercedes.”
“Why am I enabling you?” Mercedes wrapped her arms around him. “Just stay calm. And remember to brush your hair out after you change.”
“Thank you, dear sweet enabler. I owe you a Grey’s Anatomy night. And pizza. And a big favor of your choice whenever you need someone mad as a hatter on your side.”
“Damn straight, you do.”
After a break-neck dash back down the hallway, Kurt rejoined the Warblers just as they were heading backstage.
“You okay?” David touched Kurt’s shoulder.
“Fine.”
“Good. Keep breathing and remember what I showed you. You’re going to do great. Maybe we can finally work you into something for Nationals.” David grinned widely as he caught the expression on Kurt’s face. He looked over at Wes for a second before turning back to Kurt with a finger to his lips to keep that statement quiet.
They went onstage to form their unison block. After the music started, David, Jeff, and Nick broke out and did started their dance routine as the others did an impressive impression of ‘freestyle’ (which was entirely choreographed) behind them. When it was Blaine’s turn, there was no need to say “I’m so gangsta.” He was all attitude and charismatic energy. The crowd started cheering almost immediately.
Behind him, Kurt and a few others chanted, “Diva is the Warbler version of a hustler!” did the dance from the video and David’s choreography, and sang back to Blaine as he inevitably came by to flirt and dance with each of them.
Then they were finished, and the boys gave a bow before going off stage.
For Kurt, that was when the real performance would start.
***
Blaine kept looking around, trying to figure out where Kurt had disappeared to. Jeff said that Kurt had hurried to the bathroom after the performance, but Blaine checked the nearest men’s room but there was no sign of him.
He reappeared again about halfway into New Directions’ first number and sat next to Blaine in the seat that Blaine had saved.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he said a little breathlessly.
“Good.” He patted Kurt’s leg, looking over his sweaty face for signs that there was something more wrong than just rushing back into the audience. Blaine’s lips curved as he saw the bit of lipgloss smeared off the side of Kurt’s mouth, and he reached over to wipe it away with his thumb. “Got a bit of sparkle there.”
Kurt dipped his head shyly, and Blaine turned to watch the performance.
Later, when they’d all gathered onstage, Kurt slipped toward the back for some reason. Blaine turned toward him to try to get him to come forward, but the announcements were already being made.
“Runner up is.... New Directions!”
The group looked around to each other, then started hugging and patting one another on the back.
“And our first place winner is The Dalton Academy Warblers!”
In the rush of boys leaping in the air, hugging, cheering, and going over to shake the hands of their competition (and Sue Sylvester punching a judge), Blaine lost sight of Kurt again. He’d been looking for him to grab his friend in a big hug. He knew how much Kurt had wanted to go to New York. But the baby bird Warbler was nowhere to be found.
***
Kurt pulled on his street clothes with the fervor of the madman he was. He had managed to visit Blaine’s parents in between their performance and sitting down with the Warblers to watch New Directions, and now he just needed re-girl himself and get back out there.
In the mass of people, it was hard to find anyone once he’d left the ladies’ room. He pushed through, trying to spot a Warbler or a NewD or his family. Eventually, he heard someone call his name and began to move in that direction.
“Hey! Porcelain!” Sue grabbed him by the shoulders. “Nicely done! I couldn’t have put those glee clubbers in their place better myself!”
“I didn’t do anything.” Kurt looked away impatiently. “I didn’t even have a solo.”
“And that’s how you divert suspicion. I’ve taught you well.”
“When have you ever taught me any-”
Sue put her finger to his lips. “Shhh... Shhh... No one must know of our dark union.”
Kurt sighed and tried to wiggle out of her grasp.
“We must create a secret meeting place,” Sue said, her eyes sparkling with intensity, “and rendez vous to plan the final blow to New Directions. This is just like the great, secret liaison between Queen Elizabeth and Rasputin of 1901.”
“What? I don’t even- Please stop touching me.”
Hearing his father calling his name, Kurt ducked down and twisted away from Sue’s grasp in one move, then slipped into the crowd before she could tell him a long rambling story about historical events that hadn’t happened.
“Dad!”
“Wow, you changed quick.” Burt squeezed Kurt’s shoulder. “We’re going to head out for lunch together. You wanna invite Blaine?”
“I uh... His parents are here, so I don’t know what he’ll be doing...” Kurt scanned the crowd, suspecting that his second disappearing act might have been for nothing, when Blaine appeared behind them.
“We won!”
Blaine’s arms wrapped around Kurt, and he could only laugh. The two of them bounced together. Finn let out a yell.
“Ahh! Kurt, you don’t understand! The Warblers have never gotten this far before!” Blaine let him go and threw his arms in the air and hollered, “We’re kings of the world!”
He calmed for a moment, then touched Kurt’s hat. “This is adorable. You look like an elf!”
Then he raised his hands in fists and shook them at Finn. “First and second! Swept the floor!”
“Oh, yeah!” Finn gave him a high five.
“Are you guys going to be okay? As a club?” Kurt asked.
“Probably. We placed, y’know, and that was the deal, and the parents are more involved now. We’ll do some fund raisers for next year in the off season and Principal Figgins won’t have a choice.” Finn smiled, then went over to hug his brother. “You guys’ dancing was awesome.”
“You going to be going out with your folks?” Burt asked Blaine.
“No, they’re heading out. Dad has to get back to work.” Blaine looked at Kurt and jumped once more. “Can you believe they came?”
“What did they think?”
“Um... Dad was a little weirded out by me singing about being a diva.” Blaine laughed. “But I explained that he’s heard me do her songs before. You know, “Halo,” at the picnic.”
“That can take getting used to. Probably moreso if your kid doesn’t naturally sing those songs better than the girls.” Burt winked at Kurt. “But he’s old. We’re old. We don’t always get the songs you kids like. You know how it is.”
Kurt bit his lip and looked to Blaine a bit anxiously. He parted his lips, hoping the words would just come to him. Just tumble out and absolve them from this mess.
“Well, you can come on out with us, if you want,” Carole offered.
“Thanks. I just need to go talk to them for a minute.” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s wrist.
“We’ll meet you boys out front!” Burt called after them.
Kurt’s heart pounded with a ferocity that threatened to break his chest. He was out of the uniform. But what if Blaine said something that outed him as a Warbler? As a boy? Blaine was going to hate him forever, and Kurt didn’t blame him.
“Mama!” Blaine came up to his parents, who were standing by the wall.
“I’m still so excited!” she reached over to give Blaine a hug, and then one to Kurt. “Aren’t you excited? Blaine will be singing at Nationals!”
Kurt tried to muster up some excitement to cover the anxiety. “I know!”
“You boys are good. I’ll give you that. I may not like the song choice, but apparently the judges do, and their opinion matters before mine,” Jonathan said. He squeezed Blaine’s arm. “You did a great job, son. You boys work very hard, and I appreciate that. I couldn’t be prouder of you right now.”
“Thanks...” Blaine looked down and fidgeted. “Um, I’m going to be going out with Kurt’s family.”
“They’re here?” Lea asked with surprise.
“Finn’s in New Directions,” Kurt said quickly.
Blaine gave his mother a curious look, but couldn’t seem to focus for very long. “I’ll see you later?”
“Absolutely. I’ll make your favorite curry tonight. And turon,” Lea promised.
“Oh, wow.” Blaine turned to Kurt to demonstratively lick his lips. “Turon is amazing, Kurt. I know you don’t do fried, but you would do fried for these!”
“Kurt could come to dinner,” she suggested.
“I can’t tonight,” Kurt said with as much of an apologetic tone as he could muster. Or my heart will give out!
“Yeah, I’m sure your mom and dad are going to want you and Finn home. That’s okay. We’ll stuff you with awesome Pinoy food some other time.” Blaine slapped Kurt’s back.
“Another time, sweetheart!” Lea waved at them as they headed away.
“My mother adores you.” Blaine put his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and grinned with an incurable cheerfulness.
***
“You gettin’ sick?”
Kurt looked up to see his father looking down on him from behind the couch. “I’m not sick.”
“You look stressed out. You’ve looked that way all day. You barely ate at lunch.” He leaned on his forearms. “I thought you’d be happy to win.”
“I am. I’m just... I’m worried about Blaine, that’s all.” Kurt tucked his knees up close to his chest and drew in a deep breath.
“About what? I thought his family was doing better with the gay stuff. Aside from Beyoncé.”
Kurt twisted his lips tightly to the side. “I don’t know about that.”
“Hm.” Burt nodded and sucked in his lower lip for a moment. “Maybe I should talk to them.”
“No,” Kurt said quickly, turning to his father with wide eyes.
“I’m not planning on saying I’ll set anything on fire... again. You don’t think they could use the perspective of someone who’s been there? Your friends try to give me the PFLAG dad of the century award, but I wasn’t so far off from Blaine’s dad not too long ago.”
“You were never that bad,” Kurt whispered.
“I grounded you for some of the outfits you wore. Took away driving privileges. Tell me that didn’t come back to bite us in the form of plaid shirts, coveralls, and “Little Pink Houses.””
Kurt smiled in spite of himself and shook his head. “You were just... trying to protect me. Misguided, but well intended. I understand that now.”
“I doubt that made it hurt less then. I’m not even that proud of everything I said when you came out...” Burt’s hand touched his shoulder gently.
“I don’t care if it wasn’t exactly right. You said you still loved me just as much, and that was all I needed. To know we were still family, and I wouldn’t lose you.”
“Not going to happen. No matter what.”
Kurt turned around on the couch and faced his father on his knees to give him a tight hug.
“Try to relax a little,” Burt urged. “Or I’ll make you go to my doctor for a stress test. You’re gonna give yourself an ulcer.”
“I’m not that bad off.”
“You don’t see yourself the way I do. I know you. I know when you’re down.” Burt rubbed his back. “Blaine’ll be fine.”
“If I have any say in it, he will be,” Kurt murmured. He let go of his father and took a deep breath. “I have to go finish some homework.”
“That’s no way to celebrate.”
“I’ll celebrate when I get through midterms.”
Once upstairs, Kurt closed the door behind him. He felt like every breath he took was another dig of the shovel in this enormous mess that he’d started. It really hadn’t been so long ago that he’d been playing this stupid game for himself, lying to his father about what he was wearing, what he liked doing, who he was, who he was attracted to. Not so long ago that he’d seen his father looking down on him with disapproval, or in the best case, genuine confusion.
Dropping down into the chair at his vanity table, he momentarily considered shaving his head in penance for ever starting this. He didn’t know how he could keep this up, even for Blaine. Not that he wouldn’t try, but... how long could it last?
And worst of all, Kurt feared that his father’s solution might have been the better option all along, if he’d only had the sense to think of it. If only he’d had the sense not to meddle in the name of doing good deeds for someone he loved.
Right now he lacked faith that Blaine’s parents would listen to anyone. They seemed so contented, and they’d let this go on for so long before Kurt had interjected his brand of problem-solving into their peaceful, if chilly lives. Even Lea... Kurt liked her, but he couldn’t help but just be disappointed that a woman who seemed to care so much about her son, and get along with him so well, could know him so little as to accept whatever offering of normalcy was put before her.
But his own hands were so limited that it would be almost a relief to put the weight of helping this situation into his father’s calloused and experienced hands.
***
The Warblers had spontaneously burst into “We are the Champions” during their first day back from Regionals, and the excitement was still buzzing through all of Dalton. Their rockstars had come home victorious and serenaded them in the dining hall. Everyone’s spirits were riding ridiculously high, and even Wes let them screw around for a practice or two before easing into discussion about song choice for Nationals.
Blaine had almost exploded into a shower of rainbow Skittles when David brought up the idea that they would need to spring Kurt as a surprise factor for one of their numbers at Nationals. Wes and Thad had seemed dubious, but he just smiled, knowingly.
“Any competition is going to look for videos of our performances online,” he stated in a reasonable tone. “New Directions never featured him, and we haven’t done so yet. They’ll have no idea what to expect with Kurt. We mostly do top forty songs, but with Kurt we could do a range of things, from slower more emotional songs, the Beatles, actual show tunes in the show choir competition. Anything. We could have him duet with Blaine, if you guys are nervous, but we all know he can handle a solo, and he’s coping better with the choreography now.”
“When did you decide this was a good idea?” Wes had demanded, as though offended that David hadn’t consulted him first.
“When I heard Kurt and Blaine together on “Animal.” Yeah, it’s not his usual genre. He adapted, and he sings well with Blaine. We could do anything we wanted with him, and I’m pretty sure Vocal Adrenaline doesn’t have anyone like him.” David shrugged and took some notes for the record. “I wanna win.”
Kurt spoke up, finally. “Singing at Nationals is an honor. Shouldn’t we have auditions? Give everyone a chance?”
“Pssst.” Blaine leaned over to him and whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear. “We did have an audition. You sang “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.””
Kurt’s eyes slit at him as the other boys chuckled.
“And I’m not suggesting that we have him sing that,” David qualified. “We’ll still be us, and we’ll still arrange the numbers to have everyone participate. I’m just saying...” David looked between Wes and Thad. “We can maximize our talent. It worked for Regionals, even if... Let’s face it. Our song choices were a little safe. Everyone on the planet knows that Blaine rocks Beyoncé. This time, let’s choose our soloists and make the song choices based on what they’re best at and what’s going to rock the judges’ socks right off.”
“We got our chance to sing already,” Nick said, spreading his hands at Kurt. “It was a blast. But I don’t want to be under all that pressure at Nationals.”
“And I’d really rather put my energy into dancing and choreographing,” David pointed out.
“We can think about it,” Wes said finally.
Now all they had to do was get Blaine off the furniture. Blaine had the tendency to burst into the study rooms to practice, or pull someone into song, no matter what time of year it was, but around midterms, he was fully incorrigible.
Blaine’s voice rang out clear, pure, and joyful as he threw the doors open later that day, surprising Warbler and non-Warbler alike (but not that much):
“It's a charmed life! Unexplainable grace. Stumbling, you fall right into place. It's a childlike world and you can feel the magic, far from the typically tragic. That's the beauty of a charmed life!”
“Blaine, you realize this is a quiet study room, right?” Wes’ annoyed tone went unanswered while the other boys watched with amusement as Blaine danced across a sofa and kept singing.
He dropped in front of David and began to croon, “Who needs to know when it all comes and when it all goes? Who needs to know just when fate will take you there?”
“He’s never coming down,” David joked to Wes.
“Where’s Kurt?” Blaine asked. He sat on the back of the sofa and crossed his legs at the knee.
“Probably where I should be,” Wes replied. “The library. If you sing in there, they’re going to lock you up.”
“Oh, come on. How can you not be in a good mood?”
“Because I’m going to fail my trigonometry midterm with you bouncing all around here! I hate math!” Wes exploded.
David grabbed Wes’ shoulders and shook him lightly. “I told you I’d help you study. Calm down.”
“Trig is so hard.” Wes slumped over. “I don’t understand anything.”
David squeezed his arm around Wes and shook his head. “He doesn’t understand anything.”
“Don’t tease. Kurt gets stressed about math, too. Probably because it’s the only subject he isn’t aces at, the jerk.” Blaine folded his hands and leaned forward. “We should all get together tonight, hm? Make sure everyone has study partners and will be good to pass their midterms? We’ve been so focused on Regionals that we haven’t looked after each other like that in awhile.”
“I think it’s a good idea.” David raised his brows until Wes looked up at him.
“All right. Spread the word.” Wes drew in a deep breath.
They didn’t get, or expect, an apology from Wes for the yelling. Some things passed between friends naturally, and by now, they all knew how each other ‘worked.’
So Wes went back to studying and Blaine danced off again, taking a detour over the sofa and coffee table.
***
It was harder than one might expect not to bother Kurt while he was studying. And Kurt studied a lot, even though Blaine suspected Kurt was pretty smart naturally. There was probably a lot of pressure to excel when Kurt’s parents had given up so much to send him here. Blaine studied when he had to, and he picked up things quickly... or didn’t. He got good grades because he knew when to work on his flaws and ask for help, and he didn’t fret over not understanding something. Not anymore, anyway. Everyone had strengths and weaknesses.
Growing up, he had always helped Ti with her math homework because she hated it so much, and she’d helped him figure out what his teachers wanted from him. He could write essays or whatever they asked of him, but he had a hard time reading between the lines when they didn’t articulate their expectations and assumed he’d guess correctly, or when they got angry at him.
Teachers got angry at Tianna, too, but there was never any mystery as to why that happened. She’d flunked her freshman year because she’d rather socialize than do homework, and their parents had dropped her into her current boarding school mostly because the structure would make her stay in one place and study... at least she would when her friends did and there was nothing else to do.
They sometimes joked that they were really twins separated by two years and united by ADHD.
Instead of starting up a song, Blaine sat down in one of the armchairs in the study area where Kurt was curled up, wearing a deep frown as he went over a thick binder full of notes. Occasionally he whispered something to himself and put a colored flag on a page.
Blaine bit his lip, fighting a smile. Kurt looked so intense.
Stealthily, Blaine pulled out his phone and set it to silent before sending a text message to Kurt, who leaned over to his bag to get his phone. A smile bloomed on his face.
“Hello yourself,” Kurt muttered as he started to text back.
In between texts, Kurt kept trying to go back to his notes, but Blaine answered him quickly and kept watching as Kurt fussed with his hair, pressed his hand against his cheek as though it were a little too warm in the library, made a noise high in his throat, and fluttered his hands as he tried to decide what to text back.
Eventually, Blaine let a chuckle escape. He clamped a hand over his mouth, but Kurt was already looking over his shoulder in shock.
“Blaine!”
A few boys shushed him loudly. Blaine pressed his lips together in a big smile, hoping Kurt wasn’t mad. He sort of looked mad. His cheeks were scarlet.
“What is wrong with you?” Kurt dropped his binder on the table in front of them and walked over to Blaine with his hands on the back of his hips. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“A little while.” Blaine dropped the smile and raised his brows. “Are you mad?”
“Mad?” Kurt blinked and sat on the arm of Blaine’s chair. “No. Embarrassed.”
Kurt pressed both palms to his cheeks and sighed.
Blaine couldn’t help but grin again at the sight. “Why are you so embarrassed?”
“You are from another planet, Blaine Warbler.” Kurt leaned back on his hand and looked down at Blaine. “But I would sincerely like to visit one day.”
“We’ll hold a parade in your honor.” Blaine leaned forward with his hands on his knees.
“Well, excellent. I enjoy a good parade. Do we get to dress up? Maybe Pricilla-style.”
Blaine had to clamp down his laugh to keep the other boys from throwing them out. “I think I might want to hold out on the drag for awhile. My father might have a heart attack.”
Kurt frowned, sucked in his cheeks, and looked away.
“Do you want to get some coffee?” Blaine offered.
“I have to study,” Kurt insisted with a near whine.
“Oh. Okay.” Blaine licked his lips and looked around for a few minutes silently.
Kurt sighed again. “Okay. But afterward I have to come back here and get something done.”
“Hee hee.” Blaine clapped his hands together.
“It is so very hard to deny you anything,” Kurt complained as he moved to collect his things.
Blaine popped up and grabbed Kurt’s book bag for him. Kurt kept up the exasperated expression for just a moment longer before dropping his notes into the bag and letting Blaine wrap his arm around his shoulders and guide him out of the library.
Part Four
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One ♥ Part Two
Next Part:
Part Three
As Kurt shred a napkin into tiny pieces, looking pale and determined, Mercedes cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips.
This stupid boy.
"You have got to stop doing this. Blaine wouldn’t want you to be so stressed out over him."
“You don’t understand.” Kurt ignored his coffee and sighed, looking at the door.
“I understand how this is messing with your head,” she argued.
“There are worse things to be called than a girl,” he whispered. His hands stilled, and he reached for one of the scones they’d gotten. “There’s nothing wrong with girls. If you are one. I call myself an honorary girl.”
The breaking of The Great Carb Embargo of 2011 was a sign to be worried in itself.
“You know I know you don’t have a problem with women. It’s not about that.” She watched him for a moment, then touched his hand. “Don’t act like we haven’t talked about how much it bothers you to have to pretend to be someone else.”
Kurt raised his shoulders and quirked his mouth to the side. “It could be worse. Trans people get misgendered all the time, and then people aren’t even sorry when they do it. This is just one family.”
“But you know you’re going to do it again. Today.” Mercedes scratched her hairline and closed her eyes with a frown. “What can I do to make this stop?”
“Make Blaine’s parents shape up. Maybe join PFLAG.” Kurt checked his phone, then pulled out a little tube of sparkly pink lipgloss. “Anyway, it was harder to put on that performance of Hummelian butch masculinity for a week last year. This is just... it’s tolerable, if Blaine is still smiling.”
“You are crazy as a soup sandwich, Kurt.”
He rolled his eyes and applied the lipgloss. “Just don’t call me Claire.”
Mercedes followed Kurt’s eyes as the door to the cafe rang and Blaine walked through with a woman about his height. She could see Blaine’s handsome features in his mother, especially in the dark, merry eyes, and the lingering curl to her carefully coiffed hair. Mercedes smiled a little as they approached. They were just two incredibly good looking people.
“Hey!” Blaine was a ball of energy today, bouncing forward and landing beside their table. “Thanks for letting us join you today.”
“Not a problem.” Kurt smiled sweetly.
It was a problem, as far as Mercedes was concerned. She’d already booked him for a sleepover as compensation for the time Blaine was stealing from them. The bigger problem, though, was the way Kurt had already tensed up in anticipation of what Blaine’s mother might say.
Lea leaned down to give Kurt a kiss on the cheek and sat down beside him.
“I’ll go get us some drinks.” Blaine jerked his thumb behind him, then bounced off again.
“So you’re Mercedes?” Lea asked.
“Yep. That would be me.”
“Do you go to Kurt’s school?”
Oh, Lordy. There was a question. “No, I went to the school h- Uh. Kurt transferred this year to private school, and we met at William McKinley High before that.”
“I see. I bet you miss having her in class with you.”
Mercedes sucked in her cheeks a little as she saw Kurt taking a deep breath. “It’s not the same without my best girlfriend around. I’d’ve followed Kurt to private school, if it was possible.”
“It’s nice to meet someone so close to her. She’s made a real impression on our family.” Lea touched her fingertips to the little gold crucifix hanging around her neck. “You should have seen her sing with Blaine at our community picnic last week. I’m not sure everyone appreciated it, but I just loved seeing them sing together.”
She elbowed Kurt. “They were so sweet.”
“Kurt doesn’t believe me when I say it’s only a matter of time before Blaine clues into his feelings.” Mercedes gave Kurt a little smirk. He looked ready to crawl out of his skin, but the normal feeling of being teased about Blaine seemed to help. It was harder than she’d thought to avoid pronouns. She could have just dropped in the girl ones, but she didn’t want to contribute to his obviously growing discomfort.
Kurt frowned at them both in irritation. “Blaine doesn’t feel that way about me. What’s wrong with having a good friend?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Lea rested her cheek on her hand as she smiled at Kurt. He just sighed, and she patted his forearm. “We’re just teasing, sweetheart. We’ll stop.”
“Thanks.”
Blaine returned with coffee for himself and his mother. He had his normal order, and she had an espresso, which she sipped gracefully as Mercedes started a conversation about the current drama going on in glee club now that Rachel had found out about Quinn and Finn.
“She sang “Betrayed” from The Producers in front of the club. It didn’t really work, thematically. You’d think she had the copyright on Finn. You and I told her over and over to get over him.” Mercedes looked to Kurt.
“I had inside information on that one recently. I’m more surprised that he listened to me and told her what was going on.” Kurt had stopped eating his scone and drinking his coffee and was now destroying another napkin.
“You’re friends with Finn as well?” Lea asked.
“He’s my brother.”
“Finn’s so tall, Mama,” Blaine said, dunking his biscotti. “He’s 6’3!”
“Jealous?” she teased.
“Oh. So much.”
The three of them chatted comfortably for almost an hour, and Kurt relaxed as time went on. Eventually, Lea checked her watch and lifted her head in a signal to Blaine.
“We should get going. We have some stores to hit,” Blaine said.
“It was great meeting you, Mercedes. I’ve not had the opportunity to talk to any of Kurt’s friends.” Lea rose gracefully and brushed her hands over the front of her dress. “You girls are both so witty and intelligent. It’s good to know the next generation has a good head on its shoulders.”
Blaine had been bending over to pick up his coat, then turned to look at his mother with a confused frown, as though he’d perhaps heard wrong.
“Ready, Blaine?” Lea slipped her wrap over her shoulders and gave them one more warm smile before heading for the door.
“I’ll call you later,” Blaine promised, then hurried after her.
Mercedes watched them leave, then slapped her hands against the table. “Oh, shit!”
Kurt burst into laughter and covered his face.
“Who needs tv when I have your crazy ass life to watch?”
“Right?” Kurt curled his finger down and pressed them against his mouth. “Just us girls!”
“Oh, Kurt, we a credit to our generation!”
They both laughed and laughed until tears were running down their cheeks. Mercedes calmed herself just long enough to go sit by Kurt and hug him around the shoulders, because somewhere under that laughter and those tears he needed it. People just stared at the two teenage “girls” cracking up at the table by themselves.
***
Kurt got nervous before performances. He had before every major competition so far, despite an utter lack of solos in each, and he’d only not been nervous before Nationals with the Cheerios because Sue had sprung an auto-tuner on him a few weeks before the competition and he was more angry than panicking... Until after they’d finished and Santana told him she’d turned the tuner practically all the way down. Then he’d almost exploded.
He didn’t have that much to be nervous about for Regionals. He wasn’t featured as a singer or a dancer, but he’d managed to nail the background moves cold with some help from David. Blaine was leading them as usual with Beyoncé, “Diva” this time, as their anthem, while Nick, Jeff, and David would lead them in both vocals and dance routine with Bowling for Soup’s “High School Never Ends.” Kurt’s biggest worry was that they would win and that would mean trouble for New Directions despite their Cheerios-influenced expanded budget.
Until he spotted Blaine’s parents in the audience.
His heart in his throat, Kurt bolted down the hallway and rapped on the waiting room where New Directions was bunking down between performances. Sam was the one to open the door, and all of the members looked at him curiously.
“Mercedes!” He didn’t have the time to explain, so he motioned frantically for her to come out into the hall.
“Did something happen? Hold on!” Mercedes moved as fast as she could in her heels through the lounging gleeks and closed the door behind her. “What is it?”
“Blaine’s parents are here. What am I going to do? I can’t tell him all this right before our performance! I can’t do that to him!”
Mercedes caught both of his hands. “Hold on! Just let me think for a minute...”
Kurt’s eyes grew increasingly rounder, and he began bouncing on his toes. “Ahhh...”
“Okay, okay. Chill. Look, you guys wear uniforms, and you are not the only skinny white boy up there. They probably won’t recognize you on stage. Not unless they’re in the front row and you have a solo. Do you?”
“No.”
“Yes!!” Rachel shouted from behind the door.
“THANK YOU!” Kurt slammed his palm against the door and then pulled Mercedes down the hallway out of earshot. “So I can... okay. Um. I think I saw them sitting somewhere in the middle.”
“Yeah, then... okay, afterward, you need to get out of there. Fake illness or something, and...”
“And make sure they don’t have a moment to see me in my uniform. Okay. Okay.” He drew in a breath very slowly and closed his eyes, nodding a few times. “I think I have a plan. Thanks, Mercedes.”
“Why am I enabling you?” Mercedes wrapped her arms around him. “Just stay calm. And remember to brush your hair out after you change.”
“Thank you, dear sweet enabler. I owe you a Grey’s Anatomy night. And pizza. And a big favor of your choice whenever you need someone mad as a hatter on your side.”
“Damn straight, you do.”
After a break-neck dash back down the hallway, Kurt rejoined the Warblers just as they were heading backstage.
“You okay?” David touched Kurt’s shoulder.
“Fine.”
“Good. Keep breathing and remember what I showed you. You’re going to do great. Maybe we can finally work you into something for Nationals.” David grinned widely as he caught the expression on Kurt’s face. He looked over at Wes for a second before turning back to Kurt with a finger to his lips to keep that statement quiet.
They went onstage to form their unison block. After the music started, David, Jeff, and Nick broke out and did started their dance routine as the others did an impressive impression of ‘freestyle’ (which was entirely choreographed) behind them. When it was Blaine’s turn, there was no need to say “I’m so gangsta.” He was all attitude and charismatic energy. The crowd started cheering almost immediately.
Behind him, Kurt and a few others chanted, “Diva is the Warbler version of a hustler!” did the dance from the video and David’s choreography, and sang back to Blaine as he inevitably came by to flirt and dance with each of them.
Then they were finished, and the boys gave a bow before going off stage.
For Kurt, that was when the real performance would start.
***
Blaine kept looking around, trying to figure out where Kurt had disappeared to. Jeff said that Kurt had hurried to the bathroom after the performance, but Blaine checked the nearest men’s room but there was no sign of him.
He reappeared again about halfway into New Directions’ first number and sat next to Blaine in the seat that Blaine had saved.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he said a little breathlessly.
“Good.” He patted Kurt’s leg, looking over his sweaty face for signs that there was something more wrong than just rushing back into the audience. Blaine’s lips curved as he saw the bit of lipgloss smeared off the side of Kurt’s mouth, and he reached over to wipe it away with his thumb. “Got a bit of sparkle there.”
Kurt dipped his head shyly, and Blaine turned to watch the performance.
Later, when they’d all gathered onstage, Kurt slipped toward the back for some reason. Blaine turned toward him to try to get him to come forward, but the announcements were already being made.
“Runner up is.... New Directions!”
The group looked around to each other, then started hugging and patting one another on the back.
“And our first place winner is The Dalton Academy Warblers!”
In the rush of boys leaping in the air, hugging, cheering, and going over to shake the hands of their competition (and Sue Sylvester punching a judge), Blaine lost sight of Kurt again. He’d been looking for him to grab his friend in a big hug. He knew how much Kurt had wanted to go to New York. But the baby bird Warbler was nowhere to be found.
***
Kurt pulled on his street clothes with the fervor of the madman he was. He had managed to visit Blaine’s parents in between their performance and sitting down with the Warblers to watch New Directions, and now he just needed re-girl himself and get back out there.
In the mass of people, it was hard to find anyone once he’d left the ladies’ room. He pushed through, trying to spot a Warbler or a NewD or his family. Eventually, he heard someone call his name and began to move in that direction.
“Hey! Porcelain!” Sue grabbed him by the shoulders. “Nicely done! I couldn’t have put those glee clubbers in their place better myself!”
“I didn’t do anything.” Kurt looked away impatiently. “I didn’t even have a solo.”
“And that’s how you divert suspicion. I’ve taught you well.”
“When have you ever taught me any-”
Sue put her finger to his lips. “Shhh... Shhh... No one must know of our dark union.”
Kurt sighed and tried to wiggle out of her grasp.
“We must create a secret meeting place,” Sue said, her eyes sparkling with intensity, “and rendez vous to plan the final blow to New Directions. This is just like the great, secret liaison between Queen Elizabeth and Rasputin of 1901.”
“What? I don’t even- Please stop touching me.”
Hearing his father calling his name, Kurt ducked down and twisted away from Sue’s grasp in one move, then slipped into the crowd before she could tell him a long rambling story about historical events that hadn’t happened.
“Dad!”
“Wow, you changed quick.” Burt squeezed Kurt’s shoulder. “We’re going to head out for lunch together. You wanna invite Blaine?”
“I uh... His parents are here, so I don’t know what he’ll be doing...” Kurt scanned the crowd, suspecting that his second disappearing act might have been for nothing, when Blaine appeared behind them.
“We won!”
Blaine’s arms wrapped around Kurt, and he could only laugh. The two of them bounced together. Finn let out a yell.
“Ahh! Kurt, you don’t understand! The Warblers have never gotten this far before!” Blaine let him go and threw his arms in the air and hollered, “We’re kings of the world!”
He calmed for a moment, then touched Kurt’s hat. “This is adorable. You look like an elf!”
Then he raised his hands in fists and shook them at Finn. “First and second! Swept the floor!”
“Oh, yeah!” Finn gave him a high five.
“Are you guys going to be okay? As a club?” Kurt asked.
“Probably. We placed, y’know, and that was the deal, and the parents are more involved now. We’ll do some fund raisers for next year in the off season and Principal Figgins won’t have a choice.” Finn smiled, then went over to hug his brother. “You guys’ dancing was awesome.”
“You going to be going out with your folks?” Burt asked Blaine.
“No, they’re heading out. Dad has to get back to work.” Blaine looked at Kurt and jumped once more. “Can you believe they came?”
“What did they think?”
“Um... Dad was a little weirded out by me singing about being a diva.” Blaine laughed. “But I explained that he’s heard me do her songs before. You know, “Halo,” at the picnic.”
“That can take getting used to. Probably moreso if your kid doesn’t naturally sing those songs better than the girls.” Burt winked at Kurt. “But he’s old. We’re old. We don’t always get the songs you kids like. You know how it is.”
Kurt bit his lip and looked to Blaine a bit anxiously. He parted his lips, hoping the words would just come to him. Just tumble out and absolve them from this mess.
“Well, you can come on out with us, if you want,” Carole offered.
“Thanks. I just need to go talk to them for a minute.” Blaine grabbed Kurt’s wrist.
“We’ll meet you boys out front!” Burt called after them.
Kurt’s heart pounded with a ferocity that threatened to break his chest. He was out of the uniform. But what if Blaine said something that outed him as a Warbler? As a boy? Blaine was going to hate him forever, and Kurt didn’t blame him.
“Mama!” Blaine came up to his parents, who were standing by the wall.
“I’m still so excited!” she reached over to give Blaine a hug, and then one to Kurt. “Aren’t you excited? Blaine will be singing at Nationals!”
Kurt tried to muster up some excitement to cover the anxiety. “I know!”
“You boys are good. I’ll give you that. I may not like the song choice, but apparently the judges do, and their opinion matters before mine,” Jonathan said. He squeezed Blaine’s arm. “You did a great job, son. You boys work very hard, and I appreciate that. I couldn’t be prouder of you right now.”
“Thanks...” Blaine looked down and fidgeted. “Um, I’m going to be going out with Kurt’s family.”
“They’re here?” Lea asked with surprise.
“Finn’s in New Directions,” Kurt said quickly.
Blaine gave his mother a curious look, but couldn’t seem to focus for very long. “I’ll see you later?”
“Absolutely. I’ll make your favorite curry tonight. And turon,” Lea promised.
“Oh, wow.” Blaine turned to Kurt to demonstratively lick his lips. “Turon is amazing, Kurt. I know you don’t do fried, but you would do fried for these!”
“Kurt could come to dinner,” she suggested.
“I can’t tonight,” Kurt said with as much of an apologetic tone as he could muster. Or my heart will give out!
“Yeah, I’m sure your mom and dad are going to want you and Finn home. That’s okay. We’ll stuff you with awesome Pinoy food some other time.” Blaine slapped Kurt’s back.
“Another time, sweetheart!” Lea waved at them as they headed away.
“My mother adores you.” Blaine put his arm around Kurt’s shoulders and grinned with an incurable cheerfulness.
***
“You gettin’ sick?”
Kurt looked up to see his father looking down on him from behind the couch. “I’m not sick.”
“You look stressed out. You’ve looked that way all day. You barely ate at lunch.” He leaned on his forearms. “I thought you’d be happy to win.”
“I am. I’m just... I’m worried about Blaine, that’s all.” Kurt tucked his knees up close to his chest and drew in a deep breath.
“About what? I thought his family was doing better with the gay stuff. Aside from Beyoncé.”
Kurt twisted his lips tightly to the side. “I don’t know about that.”
“Hm.” Burt nodded and sucked in his lower lip for a moment. “Maybe I should talk to them.”
“No,” Kurt said quickly, turning to his father with wide eyes.
“I’m not planning on saying I’ll set anything on fire... again. You don’t think they could use the perspective of someone who’s been there? Your friends try to give me the PFLAG dad of the century award, but I wasn’t so far off from Blaine’s dad not too long ago.”
“You were never that bad,” Kurt whispered.
“I grounded you for some of the outfits you wore. Took away driving privileges. Tell me that didn’t come back to bite us in the form of plaid shirts, coveralls, and “Little Pink Houses.””
Kurt smiled in spite of himself and shook his head. “You were just... trying to protect me. Misguided, but well intended. I understand that now.”
“I doubt that made it hurt less then. I’m not even that proud of everything I said when you came out...” Burt’s hand touched his shoulder gently.
“I don’t care if it wasn’t exactly right. You said you still loved me just as much, and that was all I needed. To know we were still family, and I wouldn’t lose you.”
“Not going to happen. No matter what.”
Kurt turned around on the couch and faced his father on his knees to give him a tight hug.
“Try to relax a little,” Burt urged. “Or I’ll make you go to my doctor for a stress test. You’re gonna give yourself an ulcer.”
“I’m not that bad off.”
“You don’t see yourself the way I do. I know you. I know when you’re down.” Burt rubbed his back. “Blaine’ll be fine.”
“If I have any say in it, he will be,” Kurt murmured. He let go of his father and took a deep breath. “I have to go finish some homework.”
“That’s no way to celebrate.”
“I’ll celebrate when I get through midterms.”
Once upstairs, Kurt closed the door behind him. He felt like every breath he took was another dig of the shovel in this enormous mess that he’d started. It really hadn’t been so long ago that he’d been playing this stupid game for himself, lying to his father about what he was wearing, what he liked doing, who he was, who he was attracted to. Not so long ago that he’d seen his father looking down on him with disapproval, or in the best case, genuine confusion.
Dropping down into the chair at his vanity table, he momentarily considered shaving his head in penance for ever starting this. He didn’t know how he could keep this up, even for Blaine. Not that he wouldn’t try, but... how long could it last?
And worst of all, Kurt feared that his father’s solution might have been the better option all along, if he’d only had the sense to think of it. If only he’d had the sense not to meddle in the name of doing good deeds for someone he loved.
Right now he lacked faith that Blaine’s parents would listen to anyone. They seemed so contented, and they’d let this go on for so long before Kurt had interjected his brand of problem-solving into their peaceful, if chilly lives. Even Lea... Kurt liked her, but he couldn’t help but just be disappointed that a woman who seemed to care so much about her son, and get along with him so well, could know him so little as to accept whatever offering of normalcy was put before her.
But his own hands were so limited that it would be almost a relief to put the weight of helping this situation into his father’s calloused and experienced hands.
***
The Warblers had spontaneously burst into “We are the Champions” during their first day back from Regionals, and the excitement was still buzzing through all of Dalton. Their rockstars had come home victorious and serenaded them in the dining hall. Everyone’s spirits were riding ridiculously high, and even Wes let them screw around for a practice or two before easing into discussion about song choice for Nationals.
Blaine had almost exploded into a shower of rainbow Skittles when David brought up the idea that they would need to spring Kurt as a surprise factor for one of their numbers at Nationals. Wes and Thad had seemed dubious, but he just smiled, knowingly.
“Any competition is going to look for videos of our performances online,” he stated in a reasonable tone. “New Directions never featured him, and we haven’t done so yet. They’ll have no idea what to expect with Kurt. We mostly do top forty songs, but with Kurt we could do a range of things, from slower more emotional songs, the Beatles, actual show tunes in the show choir competition. Anything. We could have him duet with Blaine, if you guys are nervous, but we all know he can handle a solo, and he’s coping better with the choreography now.”
“When did you decide this was a good idea?” Wes had demanded, as though offended that David hadn’t consulted him first.
“When I heard Kurt and Blaine together on “Animal.” Yeah, it’s not his usual genre. He adapted, and he sings well with Blaine. We could do anything we wanted with him, and I’m pretty sure Vocal Adrenaline doesn’t have anyone like him.” David shrugged and took some notes for the record. “I wanna win.”
Kurt spoke up, finally. “Singing at Nationals is an honor. Shouldn’t we have auditions? Give everyone a chance?”
“Pssst.” Blaine leaned over to him and whispered loudly enough for everyone to hear. “We did have an audition. You sang “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.””
Kurt’s eyes slit at him as the other boys chuckled.
“And I’m not suggesting that we have him sing that,” David qualified. “We’ll still be us, and we’ll still arrange the numbers to have everyone participate. I’m just saying...” David looked between Wes and Thad. “We can maximize our talent. It worked for Regionals, even if... Let’s face it. Our song choices were a little safe. Everyone on the planet knows that Blaine rocks Beyoncé. This time, let’s choose our soloists and make the song choices based on what they’re best at and what’s going to rock the judges’ socks right off.”
“We got our chance to sing already,” Nick said, spreading his hands at Kurt. “It was a blast. But I don’t want to be under all that pressure at Nationals.”
“And I’d really rather put my energy into dancing and choreographing,” David pointed out.
“We can think about it,” Wes said finally.
Now all they had to do was get Blaine off the furniture. Blaine had the tendency to burst into the study rooms to practice, or pull someone into song, no matter what time of year it was, but around midterms, he was fully incorrigible.
Blaine’s voice rang out clear, pure, and joyful as he threw the doors open later that day, surprising Warbler and non-Warbler alike (but not that much):
“It's a charmed life! Unexplainable grace. Stumbling, you fall right into place. It's a childlike world and you can feel the magic, far from the typically tragic. That's the beauty of a charmed life!”
“Blaine, you realize this is a quiet study room, right?” Wes’ annoyed tone went unanswered while the other boys watched with amusement as Blaine danced across a sofa and kept singing.
He dropped in front of David and began to croon, “Who needs to know when it all comes and when it all goes? Who needs to know just when fate will take you there?”
“He’s never coming down,” David joked to Wes.
“Where’s Kurt?” Blaine asked. He sat on the back of the sofa and crossed his legs at the knee.
“Probably where I should be,” Wes replied. “The library. If you sing in there, they’re going to lock you up.”
“Oh, come on. How can you not be in a good mood?”
“Because I’m going to fail my trigonometry midterm with you bouncing all around here! I hate math!” Wes exploded.
David grabbed Wes’ shoulders and shook him lightly. “I told you I’d help you study. Calm down.”
“Trig is so hard.” Wes slumped over. “I don’t understand anything.”
David squeezed his arm around Wes and shook his head. “He doesn’t understand anything.”
“Don’t tease. Kurt gets stressed about math, too. Probably because it’s the only subject he isn’t aces at, the jerk.” Blaine folded his hands and leaned forward. “We should all get together tonight, hm? Make sure everyone has study partners and will be good to pass their midterms? We’ve been so focused on Regionals that we haven’t looked after each other like that in awhile.”
“I think it’s a good idea.” David raised his brows until Wes looked up at him.
“All right. Spread the word.” Wes drew in a deep breath.
They didn’t get, or expect, an apology from Wes for the yelling. Some things passed between friends naturally, and by now, they all knew how each other ‘worked.’
So Wes went back to studying and Blaine danced off again, taking a detour over the sofa and coffee table.
***
It was harder than one might expect not to bother Kurt while he was studying. And Kurt studied a lot, even though Blaine suspected Kurt was pretty smart naturally. There was probably a lot of pressure to excel when Kurt’s parents had given up so much to send him here. Blaine studied when he had to, and he picked up things quickly... or didn’t. He got good grades because he knew when to work on his flaws and ask for help, and he didn’t fret over not understanding something. Not anymore, anyway. Everyone had strengths and weaknesses.
Growing up, he had always helped Ti with her math homework because she hated it so much, and she’d helped him figure out what his teachers wanted from him. He could write essays or whatever they asked of him, but he had a hard time reading between the lines when they didn’t articulate their expectations and assumed he’d guess correctly, or when they got angry at him.
Teachers got angry at Tianna, too, but there was never any mystery as to why that happened. She’d flunked her freshman year because she’d rather socialize than do homework, and their parents had dropped her into her current boarding school mostly because the structure would make her stay in one place and study... at least she would when her friends did and there was nothing else to do.
They sometimes joked that they were really twins separated by two years and united by ADHD.
Instead of starting up a song, Blaine sat down in one of the armchairs in the study area where Kurt was curled up, wearing a deep frown as he went over a thick binder full of notes. Occasionally he whispered something to himself and put a colored flag on a page.
Blaine bit his lip, fighting a smile. Kurt looked so intense.
Stealthily, Blaine pulled out his phone and set it to silent before sending a text message to Kurt, who leaned over to his bag to get his phone. A smile bloomed on his face.
“Hello yourself,” Kurt muttered as he started to text back.
In between texts, Kurt kept trying to go back to his notes, but Blaine answered him quickly and kept watching as Kurt fussed with his hair, pressed his hand against his cheek as though it were a little too warm in the library, made a noise high in his throat, and fluttered his hands as he tried to decide what to text back.
Eventually, Blaine let a chuckle escape. He clamped a hand over his mouth, but Kurt was already looking over his shoulder in shock.
“Blaine!”
A few boys shushed him loudly. Blaine pressed his lips together in a big smile, hoping Kurt wasn’t mad. He sort of looked mad. His cheeks were scarlet.
“What is wrong with you?” Kurt dropped his binder on the table in front of them and walked over to Blaine with his hands on the back of his hips. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“A little while.” Blaine dropped the smile and raised his brows. “Are you mad?”
“Mad?” Kurt blinked and sat on the arm of Blaine’s chair. “No. Embarrassed.”
Kurt pressed both palms to his cheeks and sighed.
Blaine couldn’t help but grin again at the sight. “Why are you so embarrassed?”
“You are from another planet, Blaine Warbler.” Kurt leaned back on his hand and looked down at Blaine. “But I would sincerely like to visit one day.”
“We’ll hold a parade in your honor.” Blaine leaned forward with his hands on his knees.
“Well, excellent. I enjoy a good parade. Do we get to dress up? Maybe Pricilla-style.”
Blaine had to clamp down his laugh to keep the other boys from throwing them out. “I think I might want to hold out on the drag for awhile. My father might have a heart attack.”
Kurt frowned, sucked in his cheeks, and looked away.
“Do you want to get some coffee?” Blaine offered.
“I have to study,” Kurt insisted with a near whine.
“Oh. Okay.” Blaine licked his lips and looked around for a few minutes silently.
Kurt sighed again. “Okay. But afterward I have to come back here and get something done.”
“Hee hee.” Blaine clapped his hands together.
“It is so very hard to deny you anything,” Kurt complained as he moved to collect his things.
Blaine popped up and grabbed Kurt’s book bag for him. Kurt kept up the exasperated expression for just a moment longer before dropping his notes into the bag and letting Blaine wrap his arm around his shoulders and guide him out of the library.
Part Four