FIC: Just Don't Call Me Claire, Part Two
Title: Just Don’t Call Me Claire (2/8, completed)
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One
Next Part:
Part Two
Blaine bounded around the car to let Kurt out. He had been a little anxious about how his father would react to Kurt today. On a good day, Kurt’s fashion choices were a tad loud. Today, well, he looked a little feminine... slightly moreso than usual. It was the hair, mostly, and the lip gloss. Blaine knew the scoop-necked shirt Kurt was wearing was supposed to be a shift dress, but he thought that maybe it wouldn’t be noticeable to someone else because Kurt was too tall for it to hit a proper length. It came to the top of Kurt’s thighs, and he was wearing a pair of skinny jeans underneath and a pair of shiny purple Mary Janes to complete the outfit. The light, long sweater he wore unbuttoned over the dress kept him well-covered, but as usual, the extra layers made Kurt seem more delicate and vulnerable.
Blaine wasn’t going to say anything; he thought Kurt looked fantastic. At least Kurt hadn’t come with one of his outfits that covered him completely from chin to tippy-toes, as though he needed to protect his delicate neck from potential thuggish (closeted homophobic?) vampires. That was an improvement. But he hoped no one treated Kurt badly here. There were people from his church, people from their community, and some of them tended to lean conservatively... His father hadn’t seemed to notice, though, so maybe they’d just... ignore it.
“Kurt, you look darling today.” Tianna laughed and took his arm as she admired the shirt/dress. “I want to know where you got this.”
“Ebay. I can’t shop brands otherwise,” he told her with a shy smile.
“I’m going to have to go through my closet with you. There are a few things I have that I haven’t worn in a year or two at least, and they’ll look great on you... maybe better. God, I want your legs.”
Blaine shook his head at his sister. She’d attached herself to Kurt today when they picked him up. Not that Blaine was surprised by this. Tianna had wanted to dress Blaine up all pretty when they were both little. Their mom just usually separated them when Tianna tried.
“Don’t let her steal you the whole time, Kurt,” Blaine warned. “I want you to see me sing.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Kurt looked back at Blaine.
There was no mistaking that smile, though. It was Kurt’s ‘I’m extremely uncomfortable and bearing with it’ smile. Had someone said something already? Had someone given him a Look? Blaine sighed. He was really never going to be at home among his friends and family if they couldn’t deal with some odd sartorial choices. Maybe he’d have to stop inviting Kurt to spend time with them. It wasn’t fair to make him so ill at ease.
The family headed across the grass with Blaine carrying their blankets and his father carrying their picnic basket. Lea brought out an umbrella and went up to Kurt and Tianna to hold it over them.
“You’re so fair-skinned, sweetheart. You don’t want to get burned.” Lea smiled at him warmly.
Kurt seemed a little overwhelmed but nodded and thanked her. Blaine was now seriously rethinking the decision to even invite Kurt. There were plenty of opportunities for Kurt to hear him sing, and maybe he could settle for spending time with Kurt in other places.
Still, the conversation seemed to go smoothly enough as they set up their area and began lunch. Blaine and Tianna flanked Kurt on the blanket, as though forming a protective force, and after a few minutes, Jonathan excused himself and went to go talk to one of the other fathers.
“So, Kurt, tell me. Where to you go to church?” Lea asked.
“Mom!” Tianna admonished.
Lea shrugged and drew her thick wavy hair back behind her ear. “What? I’m just interested.”
“My family doesn’t really go,” Kurt said in polite, measured words.
Blaine looked to him and frowned. “Not everyone does, Mama.”
“Well, maybe you could start taking Kurt to our church,” Lea suggested. She leaned over to take a bit of fried pork.
Kurt stared at his hands and didn’t touch his food.
“Mom, this is awkward. And rude.” Tianna rolled her eyes. “Blaine, are you still singing with Sunshine today?”
“Sunshine?” Kurt perked up. “Sunshine Corazon?”
“The same. Small world, hm? Or rather small Pinoy community.” Blaine leaned closer to Kurt. “I’m singing the first number, and then we’re doing a duet, and then she has a number. She hasn’t called me to cancel, Ti. I know Vocal Adrenaline keeps her pretty busy.”
“Well, we’re all busy, aren’t we?” Lea said.
“How long have you known her?” Kurt turned toward Blaine with interest.
“Years and years,” Blaine answered. “Before her mother moved them to go to Carmel, she went to our church. I’ve sung with her before, so it’s not much of a deal.”
Kurt angled his head back a little. “So... are these... Jesus songs?”
Blaine laughed. Hard. “No. Um, this is a community event, so there are a lot of people from our church and the local Asian community, but it’s not a specifically religious event. You’ll like the songs.”
“Is there something wrong with religious songs?” Lea asked.
Kurt flushed a little as he looked at her. “No. Nothing wrong.”
“I think Kurt’s just thinking of the last time New Directions went Jesus Freak on him.” Blaine smiled. “They were... a little insensitive.”
Kurt threw his hands in the air. “I still don’t know why Rachel had to organize a prayer sing at my dad’s bedside in the hospital. Why, Blaine? Why? She didn’t even know him. They’d never really met.”
“Because she’s Rachel.” Blaine shook his head and laughed.
“She sang “Papa, Can You Hear Me.” He is not her papa!”
“I like Rachel, but... I don’t know sometimes.” Blaine looked down, smiling. “I can’t reach that level of diva myself.”
“With us it’s just a frenemies thing. It’s complicated.”
“Is this the Rachel you went out on a date with?” Lea asked.
“Mom,” Tianna warned.
“I’m just asking.”
“Yeah, that was her.” Blaine pushed a few stray grains of rice around on his plate with his spoon. “But that didn’t really work out.”
“Shame.” Kurt lifted his chin and pretended to be looking around at the other families.
“Oh, well, I don’t suppose I should talk about Blaine’s girlfriends with you here, Kurt.” Lea reached into the basket. “Does anyone want more pork adobo? Any rice? Fish? We still have some fruit salad, too, and red eggs...”
“Mama.” Blaine looked over to Kurt, who didn’t seem to have noticed what she’d just said. “Kurt and I are just friends.”
“Oh. Okay.” She didn’t sound like she believed him.
“Really. We are,” Blaine insisted.
Kurt looked to her and drew some of the hair surrounding his face behind his ear. “We are. Just friends, I mean. I’m not sure my dad is ready for me to have a boyfriend.”
Blaine’s eyes bulged enough that he was certain his eyes would fall out. But his mother just nodded, knowingly, as though she thought it was only a matter of time for them.
His parents had officially flipped their collective lid. He was sitting next to his gay, atheist, slightly more effeminate than usual best friend, who his father called lovely and his mother was angling to set him up with.
“I appreciate you being so understanding about this, Mama,” Blaine said quietly.
“Oh, honey. I do remember what it was like to be young. So much is going on, and it can be confusing who likes whom.” Lea put some more of a little bit of everything on Kurt’s plate. “You are so slim, sweetheart.”
“I’m not... that hungry.” Kurt blinked at his plate with wide eyes.
“It’s no use. She’ll feed you within an inch of your life,” Tianna whispered.
***
Kurt followed Blaine up to the stage area, rubbing his stomach. Tianna hadn’t been kidding about their mother’s instinctive need to feed others.
“I’m sorry about my mom. She’s...” Blaine sighed and turned to look at Kurt. His face was illuminated, practically glowing from unexpressed glee. “Honestly, I don’t even know what to think lately. It’s as though my parents... finally get it. You know?”
“I... I’m really happy for you. I know it means the world to have your parents accept who you are.” Kurt pressed his lips together. That was guilt, right there in his chest. Guilt and doubt. Was he robbing Blaine of the real thing?
Then again, given how ridiculously clueless Blaine’s parents were, and how eager they were to accept any old flat-chested, godless, smart-assed teen girl, would that moment ever come for Blaine? When his parents finally gave him their pride and approval, unconditionally?
“Hey. What is it?” Blaine touched Kurt’s shoulder. “You’ve been nervous all afternoon.”
“Just scared I’m going to embarrass you, I guess.”
“Kurt.” Blaine frowned and looked over to the stage. “I don’t want you thinking about things like that. You’re never going to embarrass me, okay? I don’t invite you to events expecting you to be anyone other than who you are.”
Kurt twisted his fingers and nodded. “Break a leg.”
He stepped backward once, then turned around and went to go stand with Tianna.
“You gonna get jealous of Sunshine singing with Blaine?” Tianna asked, putting her arm around his back.
“Oh, always. But I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”
And it was. Blaine ascended the stage with his usual energy ramped up to high, and the lights came on him, making him shine like a rockstar in front of the crowd. Kurt could tell before the lyrics started that this style was not Blaine’s usual. At least, not his usual that the Council gave him. The music was low and emotional, instead of upbeat and a little maddeningly catchy. Then Blaine actually began to sing.
“Oh. What... what language...?” Kurt looked to Tianna.
“Tagalog. I think that’s a Christian Bautista song. ‘Keilan Keya.’”
Kurt nodded, as though that made any sense to him. He hadn’t even heard of ‘Tagalog’ and that made him feel like he couldn’t be showing enough interest in things that were important to Blaine. Blaine had told him very casually that he was biracial, but not gone into much detail about it. He made a mental note to get his butt on Google when he got home and find out more.
When Blaine finished his first song, he bowed and waved at the crowd, then he bounced a bit on his heels and rattled off a few energetic words that made the crowd gathering by the stage cheer excitedly. Kurt clapped along with them.
“What did he say?” Kurt whispered to Tianna.
“It’s close to: Thank you for coming out here today. Are you ready to hear some great music? I helped him memorize...” She leaned forward to let out a loud “Whoo!” for her brother.
Blaine switched to English and began to give a few announcements. He looked behind him at the guy next to the sound system, who shrugged, then he held up a finger and jogged to the back of the stage. Then he returned to the front of the stage, with another microphone in hand, and he gave the audience a pout.
“My partner for this afternoon isn’t here yet. Hopefully Sunshine will make it by the end.” Blaine moved to the edge of the stage. “But we do happen to have a great singer right here who could fill in!”
When Blaine knelt down and reached out to him, Kurt’s first response was to look at the crowd and shake his head almost violently. It was one thing to try to pass in a small group, but on stage? In front of all these people? Surely someone would have an idea who he was or recognize that he was really a boy in gender-ambiguous clothing.
“Oh, come on, Kurt!” Tianna encouraged. “You’ll do great!”
“Please?” Blaine whispered.
That glint of wonderful mania was in Blaine’s eyes again. Kurt could tell that he really, really wanted to do this with him. It made sense. His parents had just implicitly given the okay on his spectacularly gay friend, and now he wanted to sing his feelings and be excited and happy about it.
There was no turning back here. Blaine’s parents were just going to have to believe Kurt was a girl permanently. He took Blaine’s hand and came up onto the stage with him, hoping Blaine didn’t get in the mood to throw around any pronouns.
“My friend Kurt is an amazing singer. You guys are in for a treat!” Blaine whipped his finger around in the air at the sound guy to start the music. “Join in when you’re ready!”
Kurt knew this song. He began to flush as Blaine looked at him and began to sing so jubilantly,
“Remember those walls I built? Baby, they’re tumblin’ down. And they didn’t even put up a fight. They didn’t even make a sound.”
Blaine’s relationship with Beyoncé was deep and meaningful. Kurt was well aware of this. And somehow the most common songs, in Blaine’s sweet voice, sounded like gay pride anthems.
“It's like I've been awakened!” Blaine addressed the audience as though confessing. “Every rule I had you breakin'! It's the risk that I'm takin'!”
Kurt watched him fondly for a moment, then began to sing with him.
“I ain't never gonna shut you out. Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby, I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace.”
They’d sung enough flirty duets by now that Kurt knew how to harmonize with Blaine’s voice without having to score it, and they were certainly pleasing the crowd. Crowds loved Blaine, his expressions, his antics, and especially his voice. By the time they got to the “halo halo halo” part, Blaine was bouncing up and down, and his energy had even infected Kurt, who had a harder time just breaking into impromptu dance moves when performing in front of an audience.
It was one trait he had that was very Warblerish.
By the time they were nearing the end, Kurt and Blaine were just singing to each other... as it sort of happened whenever they sang in the general vicinity of one another. Blaine had the habit of focusing in on Kurt and singing to him, even when he was in the group. Right now, his expression was so happy, so intense, so... so...
As the last note ended, Kurt turned away and covered his reddened cheeks. Blaine grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a bow. Kurt gave a little wave to the audience.
“Okay, we’re gonna take a short break, and we’ll see if Sunshine can make it. Thank you so much for being here and watching us perform!” Blaine took Kurt down the side stairs. “You were great.”
“So were you. I really liked your first number. The vocals were just breathtaking.” Kurt let his feet touch the ground, even though he felt like he was still floating along beside Blaine.
“Christian Bautista is so super cute. I have to let you listen to one of his cds.” Blaine kept his hand on Kurt’s back as they approached his sister. “I’m going to call Sunshine to see if she can make it.”
“Gotcha.”
Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, starting to get a little angry with himself. He was red from his neck to his ears; he just knew it. He’d convinced himself that he had tucked this thing with Blaine into the friend zone after Blaine had made it clear that Kurt was not attractive to him at all and tried to mentor him in lessons on sex and how to be sexy. And that wasn’t a crime. Blaine wasn’t a bad person for not seeing Kurt that way, not at all. It had just... been sort of upsetting.
And Blaine’s lack of interest in Kurt wasn’t exactly news. He had already known, but he really didn’t think anyone would do that with someone they had feelings for. At least, not those kinds of feelings. He had no doubt that Blaine cared about him, maybe in a big brotherly way, and would be one of the best friends he would ever have. And he had to get used to that idea. He had to, so he didn’t act like a crazy person when Blaine inevitably found someone. And he would, because he was Blaine, and what guy, besides closeted California haircult rejects, wouldn’t want to be with Blaine?
But it was hard when Blaine sang with him that way.
“You okay?” Tianna took Kurt’s hand and lead him to a chair.
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and folded his hands.
Tianna handed him a bottle of water. “Keep breathing, little Kurtling. It’ll get easier.”
“What will?”
“Being so stupidly in love with my brainless brother. He’s not trying to mess with you, you know.”
“I know that. Blaine isn’t the scheming kind. Unlike some of us.” Kurt sipped the water. “If he feels something, he says it. I just need some time to get over him. Maybe in ten years, our stars will align and the timing will be perfect.”
“That’s a long time to wait.”
Kurt shrugged. “He’s worth the wait. But... if that doesn’t happen, he’s such a good friend. If I can keep some kind of perspective, I can live with that, if it means I still get to be near him.”
Blaine returned and dropped down next to Kurt. “Sunshine said she’d be here in ten minutes. You want to do another one before she gets here?”
Okay, so maybe perspective was overrated.
“What song are we singing?”
***
Finn came into the kitchen and spotted Kurt sitting by himself at the table and stirring his tea. His eyes were closed, and he slouched over as though he were tired. All Finn knew was that Kurt had been out all Sunday at some picnic thing with Blaine’s family. So maybe he was just tired. He looked like he’d gotten a little sun, too.
“Hey.” Finn waited a moment before speaking again. He wasn’t sure if Kurt didn’t hear or was ignoring him. “How was your weekend?”
“Oh! Hey.” Kurt tensed up when he saw his brother. Not a great sign. “It was... eventful.”
“Did you get that worked out with the Warblers? The um... whatever Tina and Mercedes were doing to you?”
“Mercedes helped me pick out an outfit. There was little makeup involved. Some lipgloss. It went... okay.” Kurt sipped his tea and leaned on the table.
Finn nodded and grabbed himself a soda before sitting down. “I wanted to apologize for what I said Friday. I was already upset, and you made me mad, but I crossed a line.”
Kurt rubbed his thumb against the rim of his mug. “Can I ask what I did? I didn’t mean to...” He shrugged. “Well, I’d have preferred not to know at all, but I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”
“That’s not it. Just sometimes I feel like you think that you’re better than me,” Finn admitted.
“I’m not better than anyone, Finn. I’m pushy, competitive, I’m duplicitous and vindictive...”
Finn laughed. “No, you aren’t.”
“Whatever.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “I guess I do come off that way, sometimes, like I’m always judging. It was always easier to pretend to be above it all than deal with things, you know, when people are throwing you in the garbage on a daily basis. But in this case, I really just wanted you to be careful and not have to experience any of the stress you did last year. Remember I had a front row seat when you were so unhappy that Quinn was giving your baby away.”
“You really don’t have an opinion on me and Quinn?” Finn pressed. He wasn’t sure what kind of advice he was hoping for from Kurt, who had never been in a relationship and stuck his fingers in his ears when sex came up.
“She spent a little time with Mercedes and me last year. But I don’t know what’s going on with her lately.” Kurt paused. “I don’t know if you two are good for each other. Rachel kissed someone else, but Quinn slept with someone else. I wouldn’t vilify either of them, but... I can’t even imagine trying to get over that. Maybe that’s just me and how I would feel, and I know you and I are very different.” He smiled suddenly. “That’s not very helpful, is it? I haven’t really thought about you two as a couple. Not since... I don’t know. Not since before Sectionals last year, at least.”
“No, you’re right. It’s been hard to get past. But we’re both trying.” Finn ran his hand over his hair. “Yeah. Maybe you aren’t the one to ask. I kind of thought you’d think I was stupid for getting back with her, or that I was being a jerk to Rachel, or something.”
“You don’t owe Rachel your affection.” Kurt pressed both of his thumbs against his cup thoughtfully. “It is a little weird that no one knows you’re dating Quinn. Unless Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel are being uncharacteristically good at keeping a secret.”
“No. Nobody knows yet.”
Kurt lifted his eyes cautiously. “Is that fair?”
“To Rachel?”
“Or to Quinn. Or to you?”
Finn rubbed his mouth. “I’m not sure. About any of that.”
“Maybe that’s what you should be thinking about, then.”
“I don’t want Rachel to get hurt when she finds out about Quinn. I’m still mad at her, but I don’t want to punish her.”
Kurt went quiet for a long moment, then said softly, “It’s hard to know what to do when you’re just trying to protect someone. I don’t suppose that’s very helpful either.”
“Well, you’re my kid brother, not Yoda or something.” Finn shrugged. “I really am sorry about what I said. I don’t want to keep doing dumb stuff like that, but I just screw it up.”
“I just... Next time I get on your nerves, could you just call me an asshole like you do the rest of your friends? Calling me a bitchy queen really hurts.”
“I kinda figured when you stopped talking to me.” Finn got up and grabbed them a couple of cookies, then pushed one over to Kurt. “I guess... I let it slip because you and Mercedes say stuff like that all the time. You even use ‘queen’ as a verb. That’s a little confusing for me.”
“There’s a difference in context there, though. Can’t you tell?” Kurt asked gently.
“Well, one is...” Finn paused. “Well. When you guys say it, you’re smiling.”
Kurt’s lips curved up slightly at the corners. “That’s because we’re joking around as friends. When we do that, it’s ours, and we make it mean what we want it to. If you use it when you’re angry at me, then it’s not the same. It’s an insult. Artie says he’s ‘rockin’ it crip style,’ but that doesn’t mean we can call him a cripple or tell him he’s lame.”
“Oh, yeah. We’d never... Well, we use ‘lame’ around him. Do you think that bugs him?”
Kurt spread his hands. “It would bother me. But words tear on me every day. If I were a gay guy in a wheelchair, I’d probably call out that language, too. You could ask him.”
Finn nodded again. “Like, I knew what I said was wrong right after I said it, but you’d gone out by the time I got Quinn out of there.”
“I’m just tremendously grateful. Finn, you have no idea.” Kurt broke his cookie in half. “Some people’s families don’t have conversations like this. They don’t try to figure out why something hurts, and they assume that they’re just right all the time. It helps to be able to actually sit down with you and say, I did something wrong, and so did you, and how do we do better?”
Finn grinned lopsidedly. “Yeah. I think that’s pretty cool.”
“Anyway. I’m not a kid. I’m only two years younger than you,” Kurt protested.
“I dunno. That’s pretty young in teen years.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. Impulsively, Finn reached over to ruffle Kurt’s hair. Kurt laughed and took a bite of his cookie.
“This was so not what you imagined when you set our parents up, is it?” Finn teased.
“Amazingly... It’s not that far off.” Kurt looked up and shook his head. “Last year I had a very sparse imagination when it came to certain things. Oh, how romantic. We could sing together... and have tea.”
Finn chuckled. “I’m glad you come home on the weekends.”
***
For most of the week, one Blaine Warbler was walkin’ on sunshine. He was extra energetic during practice to the point that Thad told him to calm down. He’d even broken into song during microbiology class about the cells they were looking at, much to the amusement of Ms. Gavin.
Thursday evening he was bopping back to his room when his cell phone rang, and he continued to get his groove on as he answered it.
“Blaine Warbler here!”
“...Blaine?”
“Oh.” Blaine stopped mid-stride. “Hi, Dad. What’s going on?”
“I was wondering if you and your friend Kurt would like to join us for dinner Friday evening. Your mother and I are getting together a few friends and would like to make an evening out of it.”
“That sounds nice. But the Hummels have a family dinner every Friday. There’s no prying Kurt away from it. Family’s really, really important to them.”
“That’s an admirable value to have. Well, maybe another time. How is school going?”
Blaine found a bench in the hallway to sit down. He could hardly believe that he was on the phone with his father, no tension, just chatting about his week.
He made it back to his room fifteen minutes later and shut the door behind him. He’d come out of the closet when he was thirteen, but it had gone all wrong. Blaine didn’t think there was a right way to do it, but... he was close to his family, and he was impulsive, and he was a teenager, barely.
There was little build up or planning involved in this confession, although there had been a few moments prior when he sat next to his mother, his chest nearly exploding from keeping his mouth closed. When it had opened, like a good polite boy, he hedged. He qualified. He sealed his own grave.
“Mama?”
“Yes?
“I think... maybe I might be gay.”
I think.
Maybe.
I might be.
Blaine realized looking back how easy it was for his mother to simply dismiss what she’d heard that day as questioning, as confusion. Not as a confession from a boy a little too nervous to throw his hands in the air and scream it out. He’d heard Kurt’s story, and had been surprised to hear that Kurt, who he thought of as most secure in his sexuality, had actually come out a few years later than Blaine had. But it wasn’t a matter of the right time or the right words. It just was. The pressure bubbled up in your chest until you could no longer drown the truth.
Blaine had never actually planned a coming out. He just sort of blurted it out and hoped for the best. Sometimes, like with the Warblers and then Kurt, it worked out pretty well. Sometimes, not so well.
He remembered coming home from school, trying to talk to his mother... and she would act as though Blaine had never told her even that he might be gay. His father didn’t talk about it at all, although Blaine knew his mother had spoken to him.
Instead, he made Blaine ‘get his hands dirty’ building a car, encouraged him to stick with football even as the other boys started to get a lot bigger than him, and mostly, he got very quiet. They didn’t talk about everything... They hardly talked about anything. His mother got quieter with him, too, sometimes subtly trying to press Blaine toward saying this was all a phase. The worst fallout from dating Rachel hadn’t been Kurt’s temper, but rather the hopeful way his mother had looked at him, thinking that this was all over.
Dating girls now. Let’s get back to our lives. We’ll forgive you for wasting our time.
It was all disorienting and confusing. Coming out to Tianna had been the best thing for him, after finding his parents completely unable to deal with the situation. It was the ideal.
He’d said, “Ti, I’m gay.”
And she’d said, “I know... Me too.”
Okay, so she was bi, but that didn’t make much difference to Blaine. She was an ally in a quiet, cold house that had once been his home.
He and Ti had convinced his parents to send him to Dalton with figures of how many students ended up in the Ivy League and of job placement. Not to mention, the Warblers were about as straight-laced as they came (then), and that was a lot more attractive to his father than the constant tryouts for the theatre club. Private schools had been the norm since Blaine was young. His family wasn’t ridiculously wealthy, but they had enough to make sure their kids could stay out of the public school system. Not all private schools were zero-tolerance on harassment, though.
Kurt had railed enough on the subject that Blaine was starting to believe that it didn’t matter if no one had threatened his life or sexually assaulted him; that harassment period was dangerous for his mental health and he’d made the right move by taking himself out of the situation. That was the larger issue. He and Ti had to take care of whatever was going on with their lives. He and Ti had to educate themselves about sexuality, about sex, about life. Their parents loved them... but not just the way they were. They loved some idealized form of them that had never grown up. And they weren’t willing to meet their children, forget halfway, maybe a third of the way, to help them get through life.
But this week, his parents had accepted his best friend into their lives. His mother had tried to set him up with Kurt. They’d watched them sing to each other onstage, and when one of the less tolerant ladies from their church had come up to his mother after the performance, Blaine had heard her say that Kurt was a wonderful friend, and she wouldn’t hear a bad word on the subject! His father had just called and had a full conversation with him. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d spoken for that long.
Blaine sunk onto his bed and covered his eyes. He was crying. He couldn’t believe that life could be this good. Which made him laugh, because Kurt called Blaine the manic to his depressive, the optimist to his pessimist. Not that they both weren’t total romantics, but Blaine assumed the best of the people in the world even if he knew there were those who would discriminate against and hurt Kurt and himself if they had the chance.
It was just... Today he was beginning to feel that his parents weren’t among those people anymore. That they loved him enough to get over this and try to work it out. He was willing to own up to his mistakes in being a son, if only they could begin to think that they might be wrong sometimes, too. If only they could try to understand, and love him more than they hated the idea of him being gay.
Part Three
Pairing: Klaine
Includes: coexisting crack, angst, and fluff
Warnings: misgendering, homophobia
Summary: Kurt tries to pass as a girl so that Blaine’s parents will be more supportive of their son... Naturally, this has to go well, right?
Author’s Note(s): Post Sexy AU. There are background pairings that are canon in the show, and they are sort of just uncritically there for the purpose of plot motion. I’d say that the POV is divided close to evenly among Kurt and Blaine, and then there are a few other cameo POVs.
Part One
Next Part:
Part Two
Blaine bounded around the car to let Kurt out. He had been a little anxious about how his father would react to Kurt today. On a good day, Kurt’s fashion choices were a tad loud. Today, well, he looked a little feminine... slightly moreso than usual. It was the hair, mostly, and the lip gloss. Blaine knew the scoop-necked shirt Kurt was wearing was supposed to be a shift dress, but he thought that maybe it wouldn’t be noticeable to someone else because Kurt was too tall for it to hit a proper length. It came to the top of Kurt’s thighs, and he was wearing a pair of skinny jeans underneath and a pair of shiny purple Mary Janes to complete the outfit. The light, long sweater he wore unbuttoned over the dress kept him well-covered, but as usual, the extra layers made Kurt seem more delicate and vulnerable.
Blaine wasn’t going to say anything; he thought Kurt looked fantastic. At least Kurt hadn’t come with one of his outfits that covered him completely from chin to tippy-toes, as though he needed to protect his delicate neck from potential thuggish (closeted homophobic?) vampires. That was an improvement. But he hoped no one treated Kurt badly here. There were people from his church, people from their community, and some of them tended to lean conservatively... His father hadn’t seemed to notice, though, so maybe they’d just... ignore it.
“Kurt, you look darling today.” Tianna laughed and took his arm as she admired the shirt/dress. “I want to know where you got this.”
“Ebay. I can’t shop brands otherwise,” he told her with a shy smile.
“I’m going to have to go through my closet with you. There are a few things I have that I haven’t worn in a year or two at least, and they’ll look great on you... maybe better. God, I want your legs.”
Blaine shook his head at his sister. She’d attached herself to Kurt today when they picked him up. Not that Blaine was surprised by this. Tianna had wanted to dress Blaine up all pretty when they were both little. Their mom just usually separated them when Tianna tried.
“Don’t let her steal you the whole time, Kurt,” Blaine warned. “I want you to see me sing.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Kurt looked back at Blaine.
There was no mistaking that smile, though. It was Kurt’s ‘I’m extremely uncomfortable and bearing with it’ smile. Had someone said something already? Had someone given him a Look? Blaine sighed. He was really never going to be at home among his friends and family if they couldn’t deal with some odd sartorial choices. Maybe he’d have to stop inviting Kurt to spend time with them. It wasn’t fair to make him so ill at ease.
The family headed across the grass with Blaine carrying their blankets and his father carrying their picnic basket. Lea brought out an umbrella and went up to Kurt and Tianna to hold it over them.
“You’re so fair-skinned, sweetheart. You don’t want to get burned.” Lea smiled at him warmly.
Kurt seemed a little overwhelmed but nodded and thanked her. Blaine was now seriously rethinking the decision to even invite Kurt. There were plenty of opportunities for Kurt to hear him sing, and maybe he could settle for spending time with Kurt in other places.
Still, the conversation seemed to go smoothly enough as they set up their area and began lunch. Blaine and Tianna flanked Kurt on the blanket, as though forming a protective force, and after a few minutes, Jonathan excused himself and went to go talk to one of the other fathers.
“So, Kurt, tell me. Where to you go to church?” Lea asked.
“Mom!” Tianna admonished.
Lea shrugged and drew her thick wavy hair back behind her ear. “What? I’m just interested.”
“My family doesn’t really go,” Kurt said in polite, measured words.
Blaine looked to him and frowned. “Not everyone does, Mama.”
“Well, maybe you could start taking Kurt to our church,” Lea suggested. She leaned over to take a bit of fried pork.
Kurt stared at his hands and didn’t touch his food.
“Mom, this is awkward. And rude.” Tianna rolled her eyes. “Blaine, are you still singing with Sunshine today?”
“Sunshine?” Kurt perked up. “Sunshine Corazon?”
“The same. Small world, hm? Or rather small Pinoy community.” Blaine leaned closer to Kurt. “I’m singing the first number, and then we’re doing a duet, and then she has a number. She hasn’t called me to cancel, Ti. I know Vocal Adrenaline keeps her pretty busy.”
“Well, we’re all busy, aren’t we?” Lea said.
“How long have you known her?” Kurt turned toward Blaine with interest.
“Years and years,” Blaine answered. “Before her mother moved them to go to Carmel, she went to our church. I’ve sung with her before, so it’s not much of a deal.”
Kurt angled his head back a little. “So... are these... Jesus songs?”
Blaine laughed. Hard. “No. Um, this is a community event, so there are a lot of people from our church and the local Asian community, but it’s not a specifically religious event. You’ll like the songs.”
“Is there something wrong with religious songs?” Lea asked.
Kurt flushed a little as he looked at her. “No. Nothing wrong.”
“I think Kurt’s just thinking of the last time New Directions went Jesus Freak on him.” Blaine smiled. “They were... a little insensitive.”
Kurt threw his hands in the air. “I still don’t know why Rachel had to organize a prayer sing at my dad’s bedside in the hospital. Why, Blaine? Why? She didn’t even know him. They’d never really met.”
“Because she’s Rachel.” Blaine shook his head and laughed.
“She sang “Papa, Can You Hear Me.” He is not her papa!”
“I like Rachel, but... I don’t know sometimes.” Blaine looked down, smiling. “I can’t reach that level of diva myself.”
“With us it’s just a frenemies thing. It’s complicated.”
“Is this the Rachel you went out on a date with?” Lea asked.
“Mom,” Tianna warned.
“I’m just asking.”
“Yeah, that was her.” Blaine pushed a few stray grains of rice around on his plate with his spoon. “But that didn’t really work out.”
“Shame.” Kurt lifted his chin and pretended to be looking around at the other families.
“Oh, well, I don’t suppose I should talk about Blaine’s girlfriends with you here, Kurt.” Lea reached into the basket. “Does anyone want more pork adobo? Any rice? Fish? We still have some fruit salad, too, and red eggs...”
“Mama.” Blaine looked over to Kurt, who didn’t seem to have noticed what she’d just said. “Kurt and I are just friends.”
“Oh. Okay.” She didn’t sound like she believed him.
“Really. We are,” Blaine insisted.
Kurt looked to her and drew some of the hair surrounding his face behind his ear. “We are. Just friends, I mean. I’m not sure my dad is ready for me to have a boyfriend.”
Blaine’s eyes bulged enough that he was certain his eyes would fall out. But his mother just nodded, knowingly, as though she thought it was only a matter of time for them.
His parents had officially flipped their collective lid. He was sitting next to his gay, atheist, slightly more effeminate than usual best friend, who his father called lovely and his mother was angling to set him up with.
“I appreciate you being so understanding about this, Mama,” Blaine said quietly.
“Oh, honey. I do remember what it was like to be young. So much is going on, and it can be confusing who likes whom.” Lea put some more of a little bit of everything on Kurt’s plate. “You are so slim, sweetheart.”
“I’m not... that hungry.” Kurt blinked at his plate with wide eyes.
“It’s no use. She’ll feed you within an inch of your life,” Tianna whispered.
***
Kurt followed Blaine up to the stage area, rubbing his stomach. Tianna hadn’t been kidding about their mother’s instinctive need to feed others.
“I’m sorry about my mom. She’s...” Blaine sighed and turned to look at Kurt. His face was illuminated, practically glowing from unexpressed glee. “Honestly, I don’t even know what to think lately. It’s as though my parents... finally get it. You know?”
“I... I’m really happy for you. I know it means the world to have your parents accept who you are.” Kurt pressed his lips together. That was guilt, right there in his chest. Guilt and doubt. Was he robbing Blaine of the real thing?
Then again, given how ridiculously clueless Blaine’s parents were, and how eager they were to accept any old flat-chested, godless, smart-assed teen girl, would that moment ever come for Blaine? When his parents finally gave him their pride and approval, unconditionally?
“Hey. What is it?” Blaine touched Kurt’s shoulder. “You’ve been nervous all afternoon.”
“Just scared I’m going to embarrass you, I guess.”
“Kurt.” Blaine frowned and looked over to the stage. “I don’t want you thinking about things like that. You’re never going to embarrass me, okay? I don’t invite you to events expecting you to be anyone other than who you are.”
Kurt twisted his fingers and nodded. “Break a leg.”
He stepped backward once, then turned around and went to go stand with Tianna.
“You gonna get jealous of Sunshine singing with Blaine?” Tianna asked, putting her arm around his back.
“Oh, always. But I’m sure it’ll be beautiful.”
And it was. Blaine ascended the stage with his usual energy ramped up to high, and the lights came on him, making him shine like a rockstar in front of the crowd. Kurt could tell before the lyrics started that this style was not Blaine’s usual. At least, not his usual that the Council gave him. The music was low and emotional, instead of upbeat and a little maddeningly catchy. Then Blaine actually began to sing.
“Oh. What... what language...?” Kurt looked to Tianna.
“Tagalog. I think that’s a Christian Bautista song. ‘Keilan Keya.’”
Kurt nodded, as though that made any sense to him. He hadn’t even heard of ‘Tagalog’ and that made him feel like he couldn’t be showing enough interest in things that were important to Blaine. Blaine had told him very casually that he was biracial, but not gone into much detail about it. He made a mental note to get his butt on Google when he got home and find out more.
When Blaine finished his first song, he bowed and waved at the crowd, then he bounced a bit on his heels and rattled off a few energetic words that made the crowd gathering by the stage cheer excitedly. Kurt clapped along with them.
“What did he say?” Kurt whispered to Tianna.
“It’s close to: Thank you for coming out here today. Are you ready to hear some great music? I helped him memorize...” She leaned forward to let out a loud “Whoo!” for her brother.
Blaine switched to English and began to give a few announcements. He looked behind him at the guy next to the sound system, who shrugged, then he held up a finger and jogged to the back of the stage. Then he returned to the front of the stage, with another microphone in hand, and he gave the audience a pout.
“My partner for this afternoon isn’t here yet. Hopefully Sunshine will make it by the end.” Blaine moved to the edge of the stage. “But we do happen to have a great singer right here who could fill in!”
When Blaine knelt down and reached out to him, Kurt’s first response was to look at the crowd and shake his head almost violently. It was one thing to try to pass in a small group, but on stage? In front of all these people? Surely someone would have an idea who he was or recognize that he was really a boy in gender-ambiguous clothing.
“Oh, come on, Kurt!” Tianna encouraged. “You’ll do great!”
“Please?” Blaine whispered.
That glint of wonderful mania was in Blaine’s eyes again. Kurt could tell that he really, really wanted to do this with him. It made sense. His parents had just implicitly given the okay on his spectacularly gay friend, and now he wanted to sing his feelings and be excited and happy about it.
There was no turning back here. Blaine’s parents were just going to have to believe Kurt was a girl permanently. He took Blaine’s hand and came up onto the stage with him, hoping Blaine didn’t get in the mood to throw around any pronouns.
“My friend Kurt is an amazing singer. You guys are in for a treat!” Blaine whipped his finger around in the air at the sound guy to start the music. “Join in when you’re ready!”
Kurt knew this song. He began to flush as Blaine looked at him and began to sing so jubilantly,
“Remember those walls I built? Baby, they’re tumblin’ down. And they didn’t even put up a fight. They didn’t even make a sound.”
Blaine’s relationship with Beyoncé was deep and meaningful. Kurt was well aware of this. And somehow the most common songs, in Blaine’s sweet voice, sounded like gay pride anthems.
“It's like I've been awakened!” Blaine addressed the audience as though confessing. “Every rule I had you breakin'! It's the risk that I'm takin'!”
Kurt watched him fondly for a moment, then began to sing with him.
“I ain't never gonna shut you out. Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace. Baby, I can see your halo. You know you're my saving grace.”
They’d sung enough flirty duets by now that Kurt knew how to harmonize with Blaine’s voice without having to score it, and they were certainly pleasing the crowd. Crowds loved Blaine, his expressions, his antics, and especially his voice. By the time they got to the “halo halo halo” part, Blaine was bouncing up and down, and his energy had even infected Kurt, who had a harder time just breaking into impromptu dance moves when performing in front of an audience.
It was one trait he had that was very Warblerish.
By the time they were nearing the end, Kurt and Blaine were just singing to each other... as it sort of happened whenever they sang in the general vicinity of one another. Blaine had the habit of focusing in on Kurt and singing to him, even when he was in the group. Right now, his expression was so happy, so intense, so... so...
As the last note ended, Kurt turned away and covered his reddened cheeks. Blaine grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him into a bow. Kurt gave a little wave to the audience.
“Okay, we’re gonna take a short break, and we’ll see if Sunshine can make it. Thank you so much for being here and watching us perform!” Blaine took Kurt down the side stairs. “You were great.”
“So were you. I really liked your first number. The vocals were just breathtaking.” Kurt let his feet touch the ground, even though he felt like he was still floating along beside Blaine.
“Christian Bautista is so super cute. I have to let you listen to one of his cds.” Blaine kept his hand on Kurt’s back as they approached his sister. “I’m going to call Sunshine to see if she can make it.”
“Gotcha.”
Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, starting to get a little angry with himself. He was red from his neck to his ears; he just knew it. He’d convinced himself that he had tucked this thing with Blaine into the friend zone after Blaine had made it clear that Kurt was not attractive to him at all and tried to mentor him in lessons on sex and how to be sexy. And that wasn’t a crime. Blaine wasn’t a bad person for not seeing Kurt that way, not at all. It had just... been sort of upsetting.
And Blaine’s lack of interest in Kurt wasn’t exactly news. He had already known, but he really didn’t think anyone would do that with someone they had feelings for. At least, not those kinds of feelings. He had no doubt that Blaine cared about him, maybe in a big brotherly way, and would be one of the best friends he would ever have. And he had to get used to that idea. He had to, so he didn’t act like a crazy person when Blaine inevitably found someone. And he would, because he was Blaine, and what guy, besides closeted California haircult rejects, wouldn’t want to be with Blaine?
But it was hard when Blaine sang with him that way.
“You okay?” Tianna took Kurt’s hand and lead him to a chair.
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath and folded his hands.
Tianna handed him a bottle of water. “Keep breathing, little Kurtling. It’ll get easier.”
“What will?”
“Being so stupidly in love with my brainless brother. He’s not trying to mess with you, you know.”
“I know that. Blaine isn’t the scheming kind. Unlike some of us.” Kurt sipped the water. “If he feels something, he says it. I just need some time to get over him. Maybe in ten years, our stars will align and the timing will be perfect.”
“That’s a long time to wait.”
Kurt shrugged. “He’s worth the wait. But... if that doesn’t happen, he’s such a good friend. If I can keep some kind of perspective, I can live with that, if it means I still get to be near him.”
Blaine returned and dropped down next to Kurt. “Sunshine said she’d be here in ten minutes. You want to do another one before she gets here?”
Okay, so maybe perspective was overrated.
“What song are we singing?”
***
Finn came into the kitchen and spotted Kurt sitting by himself at the table and stirring his tea. His eyes were closed, and he slouched over as though he were tired. All Finn knew was that Kurt had been out all Sunday at some picnic thing with Blaine’s family. So maybe he was just tired. He looked like he’d gotten a little sun, too.
“Hey.” Finn waited a moment before speaking again. He wasn’t sure if Kurt didn’t hear or was ignoring him. “How was your weekend?”
“Oh! Hey.” Kurt tensed up when he saw his brother. Not a great sign. “It was... eventful.”
“Did you get that worked out with the Warblers? The um... whatever Tina and Mercedes were doing to you?”
“Mercedes helped me pick out an outfit. There was little makeup involved. Some lipgloss. It went... okay.” Kurt sipped his tea and leaned on the table.
Finn nodded and grabbed himself a soda before sitting down. “I wanted to apologize for what I said Friday. I was already upset, and you made me mad, but I crossed a line.”
Kurt rubbed his thumb against the rim of his mug. “Can I ask what I did? I didn’t mean to...” He shrugged. “Well, I’d have preferred not to know at all, but I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”
“That’s not it. Just sometimes I feel like you think that you’re better than me,” Finn admitted.
“I’m not better than anyone, Finn. I’m pushy, competitive, I’m duplicitous and vindictive...”
Finn laughed. “No, you aren’t.”
“Whatever.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “I guess I do come off that way, sometimes, like I’m always judging. It was always easier to pretend to be above it all than deal with things, you know, when people are throwing you in the garbage on a daily basis. But in this case, I really just wanted you to be careful and not have to experience any of the stress you did last year. Remember I had a front row seat when you were so unhappy that Quinn was giving your baby away.”
“You really don’t have an opinion on me and Quinn?” Finn pressed. He wasn’t sure what kind of advice he was hoping for from Kurt, who had never been in a relationship and stuck his fingers in his ears when sex came up.
“She spent a little time with Mercedes and me last year. But I don’t know what’s going on with her lately.” Kurt paused. “I don’t know if you two are good for each other. Rachel kissed someone else, but Quinn slept with someone else. I wouldn’t vilify either of them, but... I can’t even imagine trying to get over that. Maybe that’s just me and how I would feel, and I know you and I are very different.” He smiled suddenly. “That’s not very helpful, is it? I haven’t really thought about you two as a couple. Not since... I don’t know. Not since before Sectionals last year, at least.”
“No, you’re right. It’s been hard to get past. But we’re both trying.” Finn ran his hand over his hair. “Yeah. Maybe you aren’t the one to ask. I kind of thought you’d think I was stupid for getting back with her, or that I was being a jerk to Rachel, or something.”
“You don’t owe Rachel your affection.” Kurt pressed both of his thumbs against his cup thoughtfully. “It is a little weird that no one knows you’re dating Quinn. Unless Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel are being uncharacteristically good at keeping a secret.”
“No. Nobody knows yet.”
Kurt lifted his eyes cautiously. “Is that fair?”
“To Rachel?”
“Or to Quinn. Or to you?”
Finn rubbed his mouth. “I’m not sure. About any of that.”
“Maybe that’s what you should be thinking about, then.”
“I don’t want Rachel to get hurt when she finds out about Quinn. I’m still mad at her, but I don’t want to punish her.”
Kurt went quiet for a long moment, then said softly, “It’s hard to know what to do when you’re just trying to protect someone. I don’t suppose that’s very helpful either.”
“Well, you’re my kid brother, not Yoda or something.” Finn shrugged. “I really am sorry about what I said. I don’t want to keep doing dumb stuff like that, but I just screw it up.”
“I just... Next time I get on your nerves, could you just call me an asshole like you do the rest of your friends? Calling me a bitchy queen really hurts.”
“I kinda figured when you stopped talking to me.” Finn got up and grabbed them a couple of cookies, then pushed one over to Kurt. “I guess... I let it slip because you and Mercedes say stuff like that all the time. You even use ‘queen’ as a verb. That’s a little confusing for me.”
“There’s a difference in context there, though. Can’t you tell?” Kurt asked gently.
“Well, one is...” Finn paused. “Well. When you guys say it, you’re smiling.”
Kurt’s lips curved up slightly at the corners. “That’s because we’re joking around as friends. When we do that, it’s ours, and we make it mean what we want it to. If you use it when you’re angry at me, then it’s not the same. It’s an insult. Artie says he’s ‘rockin’ it crip style,’ but that doesn’t mean we can call him a cripple or tell him he’s lame.”
“Oh, yeah. We’d never... Well, we use ‘lame’ around him. Do you think that bugs him?”
Kurt spread his hands. “It would bother me. But words tear on me every day. If I were a gay guy in a wheelchair, I’d probably call out that language, too. You could ask him.”
Finn nodded again. “Like, I knew what I said was wrong right after I said it, but you’d gone out by the time I got Quinn out of there.”
“I’m just tremendously grateful. Finn, you have no idea.” Kurt broke his cookie in half. “Some people’s families don’t have conversations like this. They don’t try to figure out why something hurts, and they assume that they’re just right all the time. It helps to be able to actually sit down with you and say, I did something wrong, and so did you, and how do we do better?”
Finn grinned lopsidedly. “Yeah. I think that’s pretty cool.”
“Anyway. I’m not a kid. I’m only two years younger than you,” Kurt protested.
“I dunno. That’s pretty young in teen years.”
Kurt rolled his eyes. Impulsively, Finn reached over to ruffle Kurt’s hair. Kurt laughed and took a bite of his cookie.
“This was so not what you imagined when you set our parents up, is it?” Finn teased.
“Amazingly... It’s not that far off.” Kurt looked up and shook his head. “Last year I had a very sparse imagination when it came to certain things. Oh, how romantic. We could sing together... and have tea.”
Finn chuckled. “I’m glad you come home on the weekends.”
***
For most of the week, one Blaine Warbler was walkin’ on sunshine. He was extra energetic during practice to the point that Thad told him to calm down. He’d even broken into song during microbiology class about the cells they were looking at, much to the amusement of Ms. Gavin.
Thursday evening he was bopping back to his room when his cell phone rang, and he continued to get his groove on as he answered it.
“Blaine Warbler here!”
“...Blaine?”
“Oh.” Blaine stopped mid-stride. “Hi, Dad. What’s going on?”
“I was wondering if you and your friend Kurt would like to join us for dinner Friday evening. Your mother and I are getting together a few friends and would like to make an evening out of it.”
“That sounds nice. But the Hummels have a family dinner every Friday. There’s no prying Kurt away from it. Family’s really, really important to them.”
“That’s an admirable value to have. Well, maybe another time. How is school going?”
Blaine found a bench in the hallway to sit down. He could hardly believe that he was on the phone with his father, no tension, just chatting about his week.
He made it back to his room fifteen minutes later and shut the door behind him. He’d come out of the closet when he was thirteen, but it had gone all wrong. Blaine didn’t think there was a right way to do it, but... he was close to his family, and he was impulsive, and he was a teenager, barely.
There was little build up or planning involved in this confession, although there had been a few moments prior when he sat next to his mother, his chest nearly exploding from keeping his mouth closed. When it had opened, like a good polite boy, he hedged. He qualified. He sealed his own grave.
“Mama?”
“Yes?
“I think... maybe I might be gay.”
I think.
Maybe.
I might be.
Blaine realized looking back how easy it was for his mother to simply dismiss what she’d heard that day as questioning, as confusion. Not as a confession from a boy a little too nervous to throw his hands in the air and scream it out. He’d heard Kurt’s story, and had been surprised to hear that Kurt, who he thought of as most secure in his sexuality, had actually come out a few years later than Blaine had. But it wasn’t a matter of the right time or the right words. It just was. The pressure bubbled up in your chest until you could no longer drown the truth.
Blaine had never actually planned a coming out. He just sort of blurted it out and hoped for the best. Sometimes, like with the Warblers and then Kurt, it worked out pretty well. Sometimes, not so well.
He remembered coming home from school, trying to talk to his mother... and she would act as though Blaine had never told her even that he might be gay. His father didn’t talk about it at all, although Blaine knew his mother had spoken to him.
Instead, he made Blaine ‘get his hands dirty’ building a car, encouraged him to stick with football even as the other boys started to get a lot bigger than him, and mostly, he got very quiet. They didn’t talk about everything... They hardly talked about anything. His mother got quieter with him, too, sometimes subtly trying to press Blaine toward saying this was all a phase. The worst fallout from dating Rachel hadn’t been Kurt’s temper, but rather the hopeful way his mother had looked at him, thinking that this was all over.
Dating girls now. Let’s get back to our lives. We’ll forgive you for wasting our time.
It was all disorienting and confusing. Coming out to Tianna had been the best thing for him, after finding his parents completely unable to deal with the situation. It was the ideal.
He’d said, “Ti, I’m gay.”
And she’d said, “I know... Me too.”
Okay, so she was bi, but that didn’t make much difference to Blaine. She was an ally in a quiet, cold house that had once been his home.
He and Ti had convinced his parents to send him to Dalton with figures of how many students ended up in the Ivy League and of job placement. Not to mention, the Warblers were about as straight-laced as they came (then), and that was a lot more attractive to his father than the constant tryouts for the theatre club. Private schools had been the norm since Blaine was young. His family wasn’t ridiculously wealthy, but they had enough to make sure their kids could stay out of the public school system. Not all private schools were zero-tolerance on harassment, though.
Kurt had railed enough on the subject that Blaine was starting to believe that it didn’t matter if no one had threatened his life or sexually assaulted him; that harassment period was dangerous for his mental health and he’d made the right move by taking himself out of the situation. That was the larger issue. He and Ti had to take care of whatever was going on with their lives. He and Ti had to educate themselves about sexuality, about sex, about life. Their parents loved them... but not just the way they were. They loved some idealized form of them that had never grown up. And they weren’t willing to meet their children, forget halfway, maybe a third of the way, to help them get through life.
But this week, his parents had accepted his best friend into their lives. His mother had tried to set him up with Kurt. They’d watched them sing to each other onstage, and when one of the less tolerant ladies from their church had come up to his mother after the performance, Blaine had heard her say that Kurt was a wonderful friend, and she wouldn’t hear a bad word on the subject! His father had just called and had a full conversation with him. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d spoken for that long.
Blaine sunk onto his bed and covered his eyes. He was crying. He couldn’t believe that life could be this good. Which made him laugh, because Kurt called Blaine the manic to his depressive, the optimist to his pessimist. Not that they both weren’t total romantics, but Blaine assumed the best of the people in the world even if he knew there were those who would discriminate against and hurt Kurt and himself if they had the chance.
It was just... Today he was beginning to feel that his parents weren’t among those people anymore. That they loved him enough to get over this and try to work it out. He was willing to own up to his mistakes in being a son, if only they could begin to think that they might be wrong sometimes, too. If only they could try to understand, and love him more than they hated the idea of him being gay.
Part Three