(no subject)
Title: Re:TARDIS
Author: Razzzzzzle.
Pairing: Jack/TARDIS, Slight Jack/Rose mentioned
Rating: NC17
Summary: Crack. PWP. TARDIS porn.
Disclaimer: Oh, for Pete's sake.
AN: This one is for shaggydogstail, too. Not betad, and written directly onto update page so expect random mistakes.
Re: TARDIS
Jack was confident that, at some point in its long history, everything in the TARDIS had had a purpose. Every bell, every whistle, every lever, every button. It was all important, even the bits that seemed to do nothing but blink and blink and blink.
Sometimes, when other beings were sleeping and he was dancing around the ship like a child nobody should have let near the skittles, he would like to imagine what the pieces did. This was obviously a dial for adjusting the temperature of the oceans on a complex, poultry-inhabited world. This was a lever that would turn the TARDIS into an icecream maker on a Miri-style world of annoying children. This row of buttons could be used to play an intoxicating melody that would send even the most ferocious alien beast into a delicate purring fit.
This handle...
This handle fascinated Jack. It had done since the moment he had laid eyes upon it and know, without a doubt, that it was not the depravity of his upbringing that had set him off grinning lasciviously. It was just common sense.
And he couldn't think of any purpose for it that did not involve penetration. It was the right size, the right shape, and came out of the wall at such a perfectly tempting height and angle. When he poked it, it leaked viscous fluid and when he squeezed it, it vibrated delicately.
And who was he, he decided, to argue with that kind of logic? After all, the TARDIS would appreciate being used to the full extent of its potential.
It was duty, sense, love for the wonderful craft that had helped to bring him back to life that saw him sneaking out of his quarters while the others were fast asleep. It was nothing to do with being horny, frustrated and a collosal perve.
Whatever his motivation, the ship didn't seem to object, lubing itself up nicely at his touch, buzzing eagerly as he backed up toward it, vibrating happily as he impaled himself on the smooth, slightly warm tube.
As he started to squeeze, bouncing from a slight squat, he felt the phallus swelling inside him, throbbing to a familiar rhythm, pulsing in what seemed to shine as relief and pleasure. Jack hoped that, on some level, The Doctor could feel this, too. Maybe he was feeling some of the benefit, twisting in his bed as his ship got off. Maybe Rose, too, if she could still feel the connection, was somewhere in the universe, shivering with the pulse of a ship that had sort-of been inside her, once, too.
That idea aroused Jack even further. He had always liked the idea of Rose giving him a good pegging, but he had never got around to suggesting it. Shame.
This was good, though, exposed to anyone who should happen to wonder why the TARDIS was spazzing out when it should have been doing nothing and coming to find out what was making it glow and sparkle and hum and make a strange buzzing noise that was remarkably close to a moan.
What they would have seen was Jack, sitting on the edge of a peripheral control panel, naked as the day he was born, jerking up and down as the TARDIS flashed around him, his cock standing large and proud between his legs, very shortly to jerk and pulse and send wave after wave of thick, 51st century power-semen splashing onto the floor before him.
The vibrations within him reached a crescendo, quivering against his mad, genetically superior prostate and making his climax last for longer than this author can be bothered quantifying.
When the quivering stopped and he felt his visitor receding, he stepped forward, turning to watch the handle suck itself back into the wall, shrinking periodically in sections.
Jack was aware that he was standing in his own jism, and was surprised to look down and see the floor sucking it up greedily, absorbing every drop of his perfect manseed.
He grinned up at the wall, where his invader was now little more than an unobtrusive lump, and nodded.
"I think you needed it as much as I did, am I right? Am I right?" he teased. The TARDIS purred coyly. "Hey, no shame in that, Darlin'," he added. He leaned forward and gave the still faintly buzzing, positively post-orgasmic wall a tender kiss. "I'll call you," he promised. Since he was currently living in the beast, it was a pretty sure thing.
An hour later, in a bed just down from where The Doctor was tossing and turning in disturbed sleep (mid-timelord wet-dream), on the very edge of sleep, it occurred to him to worry about contraception.
The last thing the universe needed was an immortal human/interdimensional time vortex hybrid. Unless...
With thoughts of universal domination in his sleepy mind, Jack nodded off.
T'End.
Author: Razzzzzzle.
Pairing: Jack/TARDIS, Slight Jack/Rose mentioned
Rating: NC17
Summary: Crack. PWP. TARDIS porn.
Disclaimer: Oh, for Pete's sake.
AN: This one is for shaggydogstail, too. Not betad, and written directly onto update page so expect random mistakes.
Re: TARDIS
Jack was confident that, at some point in its long history, everything in the TARDIS had had a purpose. Every bell, every whistle, every lever, every button. It was all important, even the bits that seemed to do nothing but blink and blink and blink.
Sometimes, when other beings were sleeping and he was dancing around the ship like a child nobody should have let near the skittles, he would like to imagine what the pieces did. This was obviously a dial for adjusting the temperature of the oceans on a complex, poultry-inhabited world. This was a lever that would turn the TARDIS into an icecream maker on a Miri-style world of annoying children. This row of buttons could be used to play an intoxicating melody that would send even the most ferocious alien beast into a delicate purring fit.
This handle...
This handle fascinated Jack. It had done since the moment he had laid eyes upon it and know, without a doubt, that it was not the depravity of his upbringing that had set him off grinning lasciviously. It was just common sense.
And he couldn't think of any purpose for it that did not involve penetration. It was the right size, the right shape, and came out of the wall at such a perfectly tempting height and angle. When he poked it, it leaked viscous fluid and when he squeezed it, it vibrated delicately.
And who was he, he decided, to argue with that kind of logic? After all, the TARDIS would appreciate being used to the full extent of its potential.
It was duty, sense, love for the wonderful craft that had helped to bring him back to life that saw him sneaking out of his quarters while the others were fast asleep. It was nothing to do with being horny, frustrated and a collosal perve.
Whatever his motivation, the ship didn't seem to object, lubing itself up nicely at his touch, buzzing eagerly as he backed up toward it, vibrating happily as he impaled himself on the smooth, slightly warm tube.
As he started to squeeze, bouncing from a slight squat, he felt the phallus swelling inside him, throbbing to a familiar rhythm, pulsing in what seemed to shine as relief and pleasure. Jack hoped that, on some level, The Doctor could feel this, too. Maybe he was feeling some of the benefit, twisting in his bed as his ship got off. Maybe Rose, too, if she could still feel the connection, was somewhere in the universe, shivering with the pulse of a ship that had sort-of been inside her, once, too.
That idea aroused Jack even further. He had always liked the idea of Rose giving him a good pegging, but he had never got around to suggesting it. Shame.
This was good, though, exposed to anyone who should happen to wonder why the TARDIS was spazzing out when it should have been doing nothing and coming to find out what was making it glow and sparkle and hum and make a strange buzzing noise that was remarkably close to a moan.
What they would have seen was Jack, sitting on the edge of a peripheral control panel, naked as the day he was born, jerking up and down as the TARDIS flashed around him, his cock standing large and proud between his legs, very shortly to jerk and pulse and send wave after wave of thick, 51st century power-semen splashing onto the floor before him.
The vibrations within him reached a crescendo, quivering against his mad, genetically superior prostate and making his climax last for longer than this author can be bothered quantifying.
When the quivering stopped and he felt his visitor receding, he stepped forward, turning to watch the handle suck itself back into the wall, shrinking periodically in sections.
Jack was aware that he was standing in his own jism, and was surprised to look down and see the floor sucking it up greedily, absorbing every drop of his perfect manseed.
He grinned up at the wall, where his invader was now little more than an unobtrusive lump, and nodded.
"I think you needed it as much as I did, am I right? Am I right?" he teased. The TARDIS purred coyly. "Hey, no shame in that, Darlin'," he added. He leaned forward and gave the still faintly buzzing, positively post-orgasmic wall a tender kiss. "I'll call you," he promised. Since he was currently living in the beast, it was a pretty sure thing.
An hour later, in a bed just down from where The Doctor was tossing and turning in disturbed sleep (mid-timelord wet-dream), on the very edge of sleep, it occurred to him to worry about contraception.
The last thing the universe needed was an immortal human/interdimensional time vortex hybrid. Unless...
With thoughts of universal domination in his sleepy mind, Jack nodded off.
T'End.