Can't Save Me (12/24)
Reid rolled onto his back, keeping his eyes closed and reached out for Luke, only to find cold sheets and pillow. He opened his eyes and looked around the room. Because the sheets were cold where Luke should have been sleeping, he knew that he had been up for a while. He then rolled out of bed and walked out into the living room to find it empty. He checked the kitchen, nothing but there was a note from Katie, who had left to go have lunch with Henry and Barbara and she had Jacob with her. There was still no sign of Luke. He wandered back into the bedroom to see if maybe he had left a note and left as well, but there was nothing. He then heard the sink turn on in his bathroom.
"Luke?" he called out as he walked to the door.
He tried the door but it was locked, "Luke?"
Just then the water turned off and the door opened to reveal Luke, smiling at him.
"You're up."
"I am, are you okay?"
Luke nodded, "Just took a shower."
"Oh, okay, well, Katie and Jacob left to have lunch with Henry and Barbara. Why don't you order us a pizza or something while I jump in the shower."
"Sure." Luke headed out of the bedroom but stopped, turned and headed back to Reid.
"What?" Reid watched him.
Luke took a deep breath and slowly moved closer, connecting their lips. At first it was slow but then it deepened. Luke wrapped his arms around Reid's waist and pulled him closer. Reid's tongue slipped inside his mouth and Luke was melting into him. Reid slowly moved them to the bed. They pulled away from each other for air and Reid searched Luke's eyes for any hesitation or fear but he didn't see any so he started pulling Luke's shirt over his head. Luke lifted his arms and Reid pulled the shirt off.
Once the shirt was discarded to the floor, Luke sat down on the bed and scooted up, resting on his elbows. He watched as Reid removed his own t-shirt and then climbed onto the bed, straddling Luke. He leaned forward and they were kissing again. Luke ran his hands down Reid's back, resting them just above the band of Reid's lounge pants. Reid lifted himself up on his hands to look down at Luke, whose eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow.
"Luke?"
Luke's eyes popped open and they were wide with fear. Reid pulled away from him and before he could turn to see if he could try and calm him down, Luke was off the bed and in the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Reid sat on the end of the bed and rested his face in his hands. He knew it was to soon to try anything like they were about to, but Luke had looked like he was fine and ready to move forward. He should have known better though.
Reid picked up his shirt and walked back out into the kitchen to order them some pizza. He was just hanging up when he heard a small noise behind him. As soon as he turned around, Luke was wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into the nook of his neck.
"I'm sorry I freaked out." he whispered, "I thought I could handle it."
Reid wrapped his arms around the blond, "No, Luke. I'm sorry. I should never have let it go that far."
Luke shook his head, "It was my fault. I wanted to."
Reid moved them so they were sitting on the couch, curled up in each others arms.
"I was fine until the realization of you on top of me and then I just froze."
"It's okay. You just need more time." Reid ran his hand through Luke's hair, "How much of this have you talked to your therapist about?"
"Not much, I've been having panic attacks whenever she starts talking about Noah. I've been trying to work through them but it's been getting harder for some reason."
Reid nodded, "How are you feeling now?"
"Better." Luke looked up at him, "Hungry."
"I ordered a pizza, it should be here soon."
Luke nodded and laid his head onto Reid's shoulder, tucking himself in closer to Reid's body. Twenty minutes later, they were sitting side by side, still shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh while they ate pizza and watched TV together. Luke still had his head resting on Reid's shoulder.
"So, when is your next therapy session?" Reid asked after finishing his fifth piece of pizza.
"Wednesday, why?"
"I thought I could maybe go with you? You know, if you don't mind?"
Luke lifted his head to look at Reid, "Really?"
Reid turned so he was facing Luke on the couch, "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't want to."
"I don't know. I mean, I never thought about it. I know my therapist was talking about maybe doing a group thing with my family, which you would be apart of. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about all this with everyone in the room yet."
Reid nodded, "That's understandable."
"But when I am, you'll be the first to know."
Reid nodded again and smiled, "Good."
"Reid, about earlier, in the bedroom."
Reid shook his head, "We already talked about it, Luke. You just weren't ready."
"I know. I was just wondering if maybe, we could take things slow and build up to having sex. I know I still have to deal with the Noah issue before that happens I guess, but why should that stop us from doing anything else?"
Reid looked at Luke in shock. He did not expect that.
"Luke... I don't know. I think maybe we should wait until you're a really ready to move on from kissing. I've seen you flinch away from time to time after your therapy when I reach out to touch your hand or kiss you and I don't want to make this any worse for you."
"But you're not."
Reid shook his head and stood, going to clean up their mess, "I just think we should wait Luke."
He didn't have to turn around to see the look on Luke's face to know the younger man was frowning and probably on the verge of crying. He wanted to rush back over to him and tell him that it was already and it was fine and that they could do other things until he was ready, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. He knew that Luke was not ready and he really did not want to scare him more then he did earlier.
"Luke?" he called out as he walked to the door.
He tried the door but it was locked, "Luke?"
Just then the water turned off and the door opened to reveal Luke, smiling at him.
"You're up."
"I am, are you okay?"
Luke nodded, "Just took a shower."
"Oh, okay, well, Katie and Jacob left to have lunch with Henry and Barbara. Why don't you order us a pizza or something while I jump in the shower."
"Sure." Luke headed out of the bedroom but stopped, turned and headed back to Reid.
"What?" Reid watched him.
Luke took a deep breath and slowly moved closer, connecting their lips. At first it was slow but then it deepened. Luke wrapped his arms around Reid's waist and pulled him closer. Reid's tongue slipped inside his mouth and Luke was melting into him. Reid slowly moved them to the bed. They pulled away from each other for air and Reid searched Luke's eyes for any hesitation or fear but he didn't see any so he started pulling Luke's shirt over his head. Luke lifted his arms and Reid pulled the shirt off.
Once the shirt was discarded to the floor, Luke sat down on the bed and scooted up, resting on his elbows. He watched as Reid removed his own t-shirt and then climbed onto the bed, straddling Luke. He leaned forward and they were kissing again. Luke ran his hands down Reid's back, resting them just above the band of Reid's lounge pants. Reid lifted himself up on his hands to look down at Luke, whose eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow.
"Luke?"
Luke's eyes popped open and they were wide with fear. Reid pulled away from him and before he could turn to see if he could try and calm him down, Luke was off the bed and in the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Reid sat on the end of the bed and rested his face in his hands. He knew it was to soon to try anything like they were about to, but Luke had looked like he was fine and ready to move forward. He should have known better though.
Reid picked up his shirt and walked back out into the kitchen to order them some pizza. He was just hanging up when he heard a small noise behind him. As soon as he turned around, Luke was wrapping his arms around him and burying his face into the nook of his neck.
"I'm sorry I freaked out." he whispered, "I thought I could handle it."
Reid wrapped his arms around the blond, "No, Luke. I'm sorry. I should never have let it go that far."
Luke shook his head, "It was my fault. I wanted to."
Reid moved them so they were sitting on the couch, curled up in each others arms.
"I was fine until the realization of you on top of me and then I just froze."
"It's okay. You just need more time." Reid ran his hand through Luke's hair, "How much of this have you talked to your therapist about?"
"Not much, I've been having panic attacks whenever she starts talking about Noah. I've been trying to work through them but it's been getting harder for some reason."
Reid nodded, "How are you feeling now?"
"Better." Luke looked up at him, "Hungry."
"I ordered a pizza, it should be here soon."
Luke nodded and laid his head onto Reid's shoulder, tucking himself in closer to Reid's body. Twenty minutes later, they were sitting side by side, still shoulder to shoulder and thigh to thigh while they ate pizza and watched TV together. Luke still had his head resting on Reid's shoulder.
"So, when is your next therapy session?" Reid asked after finishing his fifth piece of pizza.
"Wednesday, why?"
"I thought I could maybe go with you? You know, if you don't mind?"
Luke lifted his head to look at Reid, "Really?"
Reid turned so he was facing Luke on the couch, "I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't want to."
"I don't know. I mean, I never thought about it. I know my therapist was talking about maybe doing a group thing with my family, which you would be apart of. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about all this with everyone in the room yet."
Reid nodded, "That's understandable."
"But when I am, you'll be the first to know."
Reid nodded again and smiled, "Good."
"Reid, about earlier, in the bedroom."
Reid shook his head, "We already talked about it, Luke. You just weren't ready."
"I know. I was just wondering if maybe, we could take things slow and build up to having sex. I know I still have to deal with the Noah issue before that happens I guess, but why should that stop us from doing anything else?"
Reid looked at Luke in shock. He did not expect that.
"Luke... I don't know. I think maybe we should wait until you're a really ready to move on from kissing. I've seen you flinch away from time to time after your therapy when I reach out to touch your hand or kiss you and I don't want to make this any worse for you."
"But you're not."
Reid shook his head and stood, going to clean up their mess, "I just think we should wait Luke."
He didn't have to turn around to see the look on Luke's face to know the younger man was frowning and probably on the verge of crying. He wanted to rush back over to him and tell him that it was already and it was fine and that they could do other things until he was ready, but he just couldn't bring himself to do so. He knew that Luke was not ready and he really did not want to scare him more then he did earlier.