[fic] slipping right down

[kwritten]

fic: blurring the lines: slipping right down (ao3)
fandom: BtVS
pairing: Buffy/Tara, Dawn
word count: ~1,000
summary: Buffy's memories continue to blur between realities and Tara searches for a cure
a/n: I forgot about my little ficlet blurring the lines, but red_satin_doll's top 5 Buffy/Tara rec post reminded me and I decided sporadically that I had more to say

Comments

[red_satin_doll]

My email alerted me to this, yay! (And to your Dawn meta which I have yet to respond - and want to

[kwritten]

(And to your Dawn meta which I have yet to respond - and want to.)
(Take your time - I'm escaping the city for the weekend on a teacher's get-away so I won't be around for a few days.)

We don't speak of your compliments because crying is unattractive at 1am

And now I still want more of this.
heh. actually - me too? I didn't think that I did, but writing it felt like there was a lot more to say. Unfortunately, the poesy-form doesn't give me much room to play around. It's very stuck in that liminal place and I feel like anything more solid would be pulling back from that?

These stories feel slippery... But there's physicality too, something grounding it
I'm glad you can sense this!

Dawn has no dialogue here but her enthusiasm and energy is evidentI like the idea of Dawn being a shadow in this piece, because so much of what is happening is because she's not-quite real. But she makes up her space, still. She takes over

I have so many FEELS I can

[red_satin_doll]

Unfortunately, the poesy-form doesn't give me much room to play around. It's very stuck in that liminal place and I feel like anything more solid would be pulling back from that?

I can see more Dawnness/Keyness going forward. It might slowly become more "solid" - or the other way around, less solid, most of a whisp, Buffy unstable, lost in her mind; etc. The power of Key seems to be the Key, literally and which way Dawn goes: making herself more real or giving herself over back to the full energetic power within her?

When I read blurring the lines I wasn't sure how Keyness came into it except for that one mention of "the Key" (how was it ACTUALLY affecting Buffy's mind? Which is an area I'm fascinated by right now and need to start writing meta on rather than long comments. BUT - I think elisi (?) wondered how having memories stuffed into her (and taken out by Angel and later Willow, etc, or Willow's other mind spells) would mess with Buffy's brain - with her wiring, literally; does that actually make her existing mental "instability/

Re: I have so many FEELS I can

[kwritten]

I have ten minutes and then a massive weekend begins (and I promise to respond to everything else as soon as I get back) but I wanted to say this:

sometimes seemed too long or too fast, too "much".
In the paragraph about domestic reality - with the long list: " because there's softball practice scooby meetings track practice sleepovers science fairs slaying staying up nights on the porch fingers intertwined just to hear the sun wake the world up." I had a series of "and"'s separating the list, to drive up the rhythm. But it was too fast (as you say), so I took them out. But commas also didn't work, it made them sound plodding, like a grocery list instead of a description. And I thought about making them ee cummings-style one-word ("eddieandbill" // "bettyandisbel ")) but there are just certain things I have to leave to poetry and felt like that would be too much. So I left it just as words with nothing to separate them, so that it would feel like the world and not a list and not one thing, but all the things blurring together

[clockwork_hart1]

You OBLITERATE MY HEART. (again)

This is the most perfect thing in creation. The chaos and bleakness and hope interwoven with these gorgeous images. All the questions and not knowing, (even Buffy doesn't know which world she's in, but she knows which one she needs it to be).

At the risk of sounding really weird here (well, when have I ever cared about that anyway?) this reads a little like a river. It's brisk and it sweeps you along until it engulfs you. You have to go with it, swim alongside, lest you drown. (which is totally a compliment. I completely adore it)

and this

They know the question and the question burnt nutella into the waffle iron again this morning but the answer is nothing they can face so they pretend they don't know.

The sheer monotony, normalcy of this is what makes it so stark. As heightened and dizzying the prose, this is all so real.

I have feelings about these things.

[red_satin_doll]

this reads a little like a river.

Exactly. As I was saying to kwritten above, it took me a little bit to "get into" the flow and rhythm of the prose - it's like a current that you try to resist but can't quite manage to. You either struggle against it or succumb to it.

I was so hoping you'd see this!

[kwritten]

So terribly glad you like this!!!

this reads a little like a river
yes. good.

The sheer monotony, normalcy of this is what makes it so stark. As heightened and dizzying the prose, this is all so real.
this is the best compliment ever. you are a doll!

[sissimoc]

This is great

[kwritten]

YOU!!!

{{SQUISHES YOU}}

In the end it was more the impression it gave me and the emotions it conveyed that were important rather than the content itself.
I am blushing so red right now. This is so wonderful, I'm delighted you felt this way!

Please don't cry!!!

It funny because you kinda make me miss BtVS.
*fistpump*
My ultimate goal in life.

I really wanted to comment on both of them but I know that now it's never gonna happen (I suck at commenting... sorry).
Never. Ever. Apologize. Seriously. I am sincerely delighted that you read my silly ramblings and felt they were worth your time!

(with the cool Dawngyu userpic I must add!)
Dawniegyu is a ship that needs more love imo. Seriously how do people not see how glorious this could be?! Her with her long legs and flawless everything and him with his derpy, wanna-be-rockstar ridiculousness. She'd have him eating out of the palm of her hand in minutes.

[sissimoc]

I am blushing so red right now.
\o/ hehe \o/

I am seriously thinking about a rewatch as soon as I have enough time ( as if I weren't watching enough series already...)

I will give this ship some (serious) thoughts !

Bee tee dubs, I was wondering how old Dawn would be now. Being a Dawnie specialist you must know that right ? ;)

[lynzie914]

I loved this. I loved her slipping in and out of realities. Her remembering and forgetting and sometimes choosing to forget. Her knowing that she can't have Tara in this other reality, that she's gone and even if she wasn't, she never belonged to her. And she loves this new reality too much. This reality where Dawn is happy and the past is different and Tara didn't die, where Tara is hers. So Buffy doesn't think about it too hard.

I also loved the little bits you included that had less to do with the different realities and Tara and Dawn and were just about Buffy and trying to adjust to this new life. The paragraph about her trying new hobbies to get rid of all this energy built up inside her, but it not working, was one of my favorite.

So much love for this!

[kwritten]

Thank you so much for reading and commenting! So glad that you liked this little piece!

[happyg_rl]

Soooo pretty and wonderful as usual :) Torturous and abusive I love youuuu and I love this!!!