Love which bloom from our past - Chapter 8
Title: Love which bloom from our past
Author: kuroyukisama_17
Pairing: YutoYama (main), YabuHika, Yabu x OC
Genre: AU, BL, slice of life, fluff, friendship, Angst free
Rating: PG-13
warning: contains more that 4000 words~~
Chapter 8
Yabu sip his coffee before he let out a long sigh. He feel so unease and guilty at the same time with what they planned to do. “I can’t stop feeling guilty.” He voice out his feeling while gazing at the person in front of him. That person in front of him which is his own boyfriend smiled assuredly and bring his hand forward to hold the latter’s hand tightly. “Daijoubu… I know that you can do it. I’ll be with you, currently I’m also at fault in this matter.” He said, trying to comforting his worried boyfriend.
“But… I’m afraid if he couldn’t accept our relationship! I don’t wanna him to do something so reckless! He still my bestfriend and I’m his only family… I can’t help but feeling so afraid to tell him”
“Kota… please, please… it’s better to told him sooner. You can’t keep this secret forever from him. Sooner or later, he’ll know!” He said firmly. He want him to make a decision now… somehow somewhere deep inside his heart, he also doubting the idea- but it’s better for them to reveal than keeping it as a secret like this. He love this guy, and he’ll do anything to fight for his love.
“Okay! I’ll talk to him.” Yabu finally agreed while nodding his head after thinking for a couple of minutes. His boyfriend was right; he should tell Hikaru about their relationship sooner. He really hope that Hikaru won’t break down and think of doing something so stupid due to can’t accept the fact.
I hope everything will be okay…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today Ryosuke intentionally take Yuusuke to his school with two reason; first is because he’s worried to let Yuusuke go to school alone and second is, he’s hoping that he will bumped with Yuto on their way to school. He can’t stop feeling unease after Yuto leave him two days ago with an expression that shows that he still couldn’t accept what he just knew. Yesterday he didn’t do anything since he thought Yuto still need time to think but today; he really want to know what happened to Yuto. It enter the second day and he didn’t even once saw the taller guy around the neighborhood.
Whatever he thought might be Yuto decision later… there’s actually only two ways that could be his decision- weather he choose to accept or leave them. Each time he thought that Yuto might choose the first one… he wanted to cry- but still manage to control his feeling with resetting his mind with thinking that it’s just an assumption- his own assumption.
Ryosuke bits his lower lip because of frustrated that he didn’t see any sign of Nakajima Yuto driving pass them that morning. Does Yuto always go to work so early in the morning? Ryosuke thought while throwing an empty gaze at the busy road in front of Yuusuke schools. He know he’s right about this- he always saw Yuto walking around this area each time he wanted to take a break from his work at the office. His working place was just a few kilometers from Yuusuke school and he need to drive pass the school first to reach his destiny.
Or… maybe he take a different road. To avoid seeing me and Yuusuke. He hate me now, no wonder is he don’t wanna see us! Again, he thought negatively. Ryosuke shake his head lightly to wash off his negative thought and say his goodbye to Yuusuke then proceed to his own working place with a heavy feeling.
******
“Umm… Yamada-sensei? Yamada-sensei, daijoubu?”
Ryosuke snapped when he feel someone pat his shoulder. Ryosuke turned around and saw one of his fellow teacher friends - a young female teacher- currently looking at him in wonder. “Yes?” He answered her.
“You seem to be so off today, I have heard you sighed for almost ten times in each thirty minutes. Is there something that bothering you?”
Ryosuke shake his head lightly and crave a tiny smile. “I’m okay… just feel a little tired.” Ryosuke replied.
“Okay if you had say that… just make sure to take care of yourself. The students here like you so much because they said that you’re a very good teacher. So I didn’t want you to suddenly take a leave because over worked.” She said and then excuse herself to leave for lunch. She asked if Ryosuke wanted to join her, but Ryosuke reject the offer. He didn’t feel like he need to eat now, he is feeling so agitated.
********
Another day had passes and Yuto still didn’t show up. Ryosuke start to regrets everything and he start to feel stressed again. He is questioning, why he let Yuusuke spending time with Yuto? Why is he so easily to forget the fact that Yuusuke full name was Nakajima Yuusuke? Why he choose to get back with Yuto? Why this? Why that… why?
Hikaru realized Ryosuke changed attitude when the latter worked at his restaurant that evening. There’s no more smile craved on his face like usual. “And now what happen?” Hikaru asked Daiki who is currently standing next to him. Coincidence both of them have the evening shift at the restaurant that evening. Daiki can only shrugged his shoulder as a sign that he didn’t know anything. But somehow, he can guessed who the person responsible for what happened to Ryosuke are; it must be that Nakajima Yuto! He shouted inside his heart.
“Maybe because of that Nakajima guy;” Daiki said what he thought. Hikaru sigh while rolling his eyes. “When will his agony ended?” He questioning himself and when back to do his work. He decided to not interfere, Ryosuke should know how to handle his own problem alone now. Since it was a love problem…. He can’t help anything but giving advice. So he better to just watch now until if something worse happened.
“What about yours?”
“Eh, me?”
“Yeah you…” Daiki replied. He’s not looking at Hikaru when he’s asking question and focusing on doing his own work. He is not planning to be a busybody, but- he just wondering, he care too much for Ryosuke and careless for his own problem. It that really okay? “You shouldn’t think much of other people, think of your first. Ryosuke is not the only person here who have a love problem.” He added more.
“That’s not your business.” Hikaru replied rather coldly and walk away. He don’t wanna talk about his matter. “Ryosuke problem and my problem are different.” He added from far but still could be heard by Daiki.
Daiki didn’t say anything for reply and resuming his work in silent. He heard his phone ring, he reach his jean pocket and take it out. A mail? Daiki open the inbox to read it.
From: Kei-chan
Subject: Wish me good luck!
We are going to settle everything with him tomorrow, I hope thing won’t get worse. Wish us a very good luck Dai-chan!! I’ll e-mail you again to tell you what happen. Bye J
Daiki clench his fists as a very guilty feeling enveloping his whole body especially his heart. Both of them are his bestfriend. His hand is shaking as he typing a reply. Un! Good luck. He send it as soon as he finished typing. Daiki slowly avert his gaze toward Hikaru from far. “Gomen Hikaru… because Kei is my bestfriend.” He whispered that hurtful fact. Hikaru was so wrong if he think he didn’t involve in his matter…
“If that time I knew it was Yabu-kun… I’ll definitely won’t encourage him to confess and steal Yabu-kun away from you…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryosuke just finished doing a little shopping, he already out of raw ingredient at home so he stopped by first at the convenience store to buy some meat and vegetables after work today. White breathe can be seen coming out from Ryosuke open mouth when he’s out from the convenience store. It’s already dark when he look at the sky and one by one the street lamp switched on by its own, giving light to the people who are walking on the street. “I better heading home now.” Ryosuke tightening his grip on his groceries bags and ready to running back home.
But his eyes caught a figure walking entering the same convenience store he just go out from. Yuto!! A smile make it way on Ryosuke face when he finally see Yuto. “Yuto, um... Yuto!” Ryosuke tried to call the latter but shockingly, Yuto walked pass him without even turning around to look at him. The taller guy just walk like he doesn’t know Ryosuke at all. “Eh?” His body froze for a few second as his brain slowly trying to digest what just happen.
I just get ignored, Yuto ignore me…. He really hate me now-
*******
“You’re not going to work today?” Daiki asked when he saw Ryosuke still wearing his apron and didn’t go changed his clothes.
“I’ll take a rest for today…” He answered.
“Why? Are you sick?” Daiki asked more.
Ryosuke try to force himself to crave a smile. It’s obvious that Daiki is worried with him. It’s rare for him to take a rest from working. Well he didn’t plan to use the whole day resting at home; Ryosuke has something he need to do. And the other reason is… he’s seriously not in the mood to go to work today. “No, I’m fine. I have something that I need to do today.” Ryosuke explained to Daiki and the latter just replied with shrugging his shoulder before leaving the house to go to his university this morning and then to the restaurant at the evening.
He don’t know since when that he start to feel grateful that he got his days filled with classes and part-time job. Daiki turn around for the last time to look at the door of his shared house with Ryosuke. He did say he will support Ryosuke- but honestly… deep inside his heart; he still didn’t give up on wanting Ryosuke. Why can’t it be me?
Daiki shaking his head lightly to lift up his mood. He need to be in his best condition when it’s studying time… or else he will end up sleeping in the class. Daiki turning his body back and ready to run to the station.
“Okay…” Ryosuke turned around to face his only son after Daiki finally out of the house. He crouching down in front of the boy. “Yuu-chan, today Hika will pick you up from school. And since mom have a work to do till night, you have to have a sleepover at Hikaru house okay.”
Being an obedient son, Yuusuke nodding his head. Well, he don’t mind spending the night at Hikaru house. It’s so fun since Hikaru will accompany him in playing video games. “When will you come back?” He asked.
“As soon as possible. I’ll go straight toward Hikaru house to pick you up if my work finished.” Ryosuke stand up and took of the apron from his clothes before he lean his hand to hold Yuusuke hand. “Saa… let’s go to school.”
“Un…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I hope that papa can be there at my birthday party…
When he thought back about that- his hand stopped moving and Ryosuke goes knocking his head on the hard wall… again and again.
And when he rewind back what happen yesterday with Yuto; he got more depressed and accidently tearing the color paper at his hand. “Man~ look what have I done!” Ryosuke sighed and throw the color paper into the dustbin and take a new one. He cut it into a bear shapes before hanging it on the wall.
“Ryosuke, let’s stop for a minute and have some juice.” Haruna said with a two glass on her hand. She give one to Ryosuke and drink the other one.
Ryosuke thanked her and take a sit on the couch. He didn’t say any words or have a mood to make a conversations. But since it is Haruna, that lady will ask him something that he really don’t wanna talk about -especially about him and Yuto.
“So, any progress lately?”
Ahh~~~ there she go… “Not really-“Though that he don’t wanna speak, his mouth still moved and answering Haruna question.
“Not really mean that something did happen right?”
“Yeah… Yuto already know that he’s Yuusuke biological father.”
Haruna eyes shot open when she heard that. “And you said that nothing really happen?!!” She shouted. “If Yuto knows then it is a big thing! Why didn’t you told me about this earlier?!” Now she start to scold him. She feel mad at Ryosuke but before she said something that she shouldn’t, Haruna try to calm herself and getting up from the couch. “Sorry because I shout at you.”
“It’s okay… I deserve to get scolded.” Ryosuke replied slowly.
“So, what is his reaction?”
Ryosuke close his eyes while tightening his grip on his glass. He when silent for a couple of second before slowly, shaking his head. “H… He,” His voice stuck. Ryosuke inhale and exhale deeply. “He hate me?” He finally say it along with few drops of tears coming out from the corner of his eyes. Ryosuke quickly wiped it away with his sleeves.
“So just forget about him! Yuusuke and I can live without him. Yuusuke didn’t have to know about his father. I’ll tell a lie- maybe saying that his father is a soldier and already dead when he was on a mission. Yeah… that is the best! I don’t have to feel so trouble waiting for Yuto. He-”
“Ryosuke…” Haruna cut his words. Her gaze look so sad when she look at Ryosuke- reflecting that she is so disagree with his idea.
“Yes?”
“Is that really okay?” She asked bitterly.
Ryosuke clenched his teeth and avert his gaze from looking at Haruna. “Ofcourse it’s not okay!” He exclaimed. “But what can I do if Yuto hate us. Hate the fact that he’s Yuusuke biological father!”
“I’m sure there is some good explanation here. There’s no way that Yuto will hate you. When he come here intentionally to take you back, I know he still love you- so much.”
“Take me back?” Ryosuke tilt his head in wonder. “I thought that he move here because of his work.”
Ah yabai!! I shouldn’t have said that... “Well… I thought like that. Umm… maybe? Anyway what is important is that I know and so sure that he still love you.” Haruna said. Lucky that she manage to cover what she just said before that. It’s supposed to be a secret.
Haruna look at her watch and frown. “Yabai! I need to be at the hospital!”
“Are you leaving?”
Haruna nodding her head and quickly wearing her jacket. “Sorry… I promise I’ll come back and help with the cake at the evening.”
“It’s okay… I can manage this alone. Your job is more important.”
In a quick pace, Haruna already out from the house and then driving away. She still feel guilty for leaving all the decorations matter to Ryosuke though that she already promise to help. “Someone need to help him. There’s no way Ryosuke can manage it alone.”
Like someone who is send by god, Haruna crave a bid smile when she saw someone she know can help Ryosuke beside the road. She drive to the side, nearing him and when he finally realize, she stopped her car and lowering the mirror. “Yuto!” She shouted out loud.
Yuto jolted back a little when he heard Haruna shouting from inside her car. “Could you stop shouting like that? You freak me out!!”
Haruna careless about that and proceed to her next question. “Where’re you going?”
“I wanna go meet with Ryosuke. Since there is a traffic jam this morning around my house area- I didn’t drive.”
“Good! But if you wanna meet him. You’re going to the wrong way.”
“Eh?” Yuto exclaimed while tilt his head. “But this is the way to the restaurant right? Ryosuke is working there right?”
“Nope! Not today. He’s at home…” Haruna pointed her forefinger to the opposite side to where she and Yuto are going. Then she suddenly lean out her head a little. “He wait for you to come…” She whispering and then goes back in with a grin plastered on her face.
“Wait, I can’t clearly hear what you said?”
“Nothing~ just go to his house okay… bye!” Haruna drive away with a peaceful feeling. Now she don’t have to worry about Ryosuke anymore. Yuto can take care of him. “See…. There’s no way that stupid guy will hate you. He’s searching for you~”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tomorrow is Yuusuke birthday. Like it or not… he have no choice but continue with his plan to tell a lie to him. But he won’t do it tomorrow at the birthday party. It will definitely ruined the mood. Ryosuke look around- his house now filled with a lot of colorful paper, ribbon, balloons, glitter and many more things. “Yosh! Ryosuke you can do this! Only half more!”
“But it will a lot more fun if someone else is here too… but I can’t burden Hika and Yabu- they have a lot of work already. Daiki too…. He need to study hard.” He sighed dejectedly- “Then… I’m all alone~”
When the doorbell ringed, Ryosuke rushed go to see whose coming. “Yes?” His expression changed as soon as he realize who is standing in front of him now. He froze there for a few second- completely shocked. “Y-Yuto?”
“Ryosuke~!!” Yuto shouted out loud and lean forward to give Ryosuke a big hug. “I really miss you~~” He said while hugging the latter tightly. He parted his body away after a few second but his hand are still on the latter waist. “Did you miss me too?” He asked cheerfully.
Ryosuke was a little confused with Yuto cheerful attitude. Yesterday he ignore him and now he confessed that he miss him so much. What the hell was going on here? Ryosuke didn’t say anything and let Yuto inside his house. Yuto creased his forehead when he see how mess up the place is. “Are you doing something?”
“Yuusuke birthday party preparation…” Ryosuke replied slowly.
“Eh? Houto? Can I help? Please~” Yuto jumped a little and begging Ryosuke to let him help too.
“S-sure…” knowing that Yuto won’t stop begging until he said yes, so he agree to let Yuto help him. Well; he did hope for someone to help him right-
“Yatta!” Yuto look so excited and he already start picking up what he should do. He pick up a pink colored ribbon and show it to Ryosuke. “Then I will start with this one.”
Ryosuke know, he should said that he is a really weird person. Now he’s no longer alone. But instead of feeling happy, Ryosuke feel so uncomfortable -that is really weird right?- he feel extremely uncomfortable. -okay that’s a big lie- Ryosuke is standing alone far from Yuto while his body is facing the wall. He fight the urge to turn around and look at the taller guy and doing his work in silent. There are a lot of thing currently inside his mind. He really wanted to ask Yuto about his answer. He wanted to know why he is ignoring him. He wanted to know whether he still love him or not- okay… in simple words, he want to know everything. But didn’t dare to ask.
“You are so mean Ryosuke…”
Yuto voiced had breaking the dead silent between them. Eh? Ryosuke snapped from his deep thought and quickly turned toward Yuto who is back facing him. He still has the same ribbon on his hand and just playing with it. There is a sad and bitter expression hanging on the latter face.
“Why didn’t you told me anything? Why’re you keeping all of this from me? Do you really don’t want me to be inside your life so much? Are you resent me that much?” Yuto asked him non-stop, letting out his confusedness all this time. He don’t get it… he really don’t get it why Ryosuke refuse to told him about something so important like this.
“Eh?” Ryosuke can’t figure out the proper words for reply so simply ‘eh’ is the only words manage to come out from his mouth that time.
“Don’t just say ‘eh’… talk!” Yuto demanded him. It’s now, he wanted to know everything. “Spill out everything that I deserve to know but I don’t know… I wanna know everything!” Yuto shouted to him.
“What I told you that time was all. There was no more… Yuusuke is your son and Daiki and I are not married. It just an act we planned together to make sure that you won’t know that Yuusuke was your son!” Ryosuke shouted back. He has his own reason for doing that. He still a teenagers that time, lack of choice, too much hassle… so the only choice he had was to keep it secret from Yuto.
“Why…”
Ryosuke avert his gaze and slowly turned around to once again back-facing the latter. “Because you might hate it… you hate it to know that Yuusuke was actually your son.” He told Yuto one of the reason- but still, he refuse to tell him everything.
Yuto throw the ribbon at his hand to the floor and run to hug the latter from his back. Trapping Ryosuke small body in his embrace. He won’t let the latter run away- “How can you so smart and so idiot in the same time… Ryosuke you really are special.” He whispered slowly while pressing his face onto the back of Ryosuke head.
Due to shocked, Ryosuke body are stiffed inside Yuto embrace and he didn’t let out a single word and just letting Yuto to finished talking. “You are so idiot… how can you thought that I will hate you? I’ll never hate you… I can’t hate you.” It left a bitter feeling to him to learn that Ryosuke still thought that he didn’t love him. “I love you Ryosuke…” He confessed again, he will say it again and again until one day, Ryosuke finally can accept him back. He refuse to give up. “I love you so much and with loving you, it also means I love Yuusuke too. Honestly, I always love that kids- even before I learn that he’s actually my real son.”
“Is that true?” Ryosuke asked, still feeling a slight doubt.
Yuto nodding his head lightly. “Yuusuke-kun is a special person to me, same like you. I hate to see him sad, I don’t wanna see him cry. I wanna always be able to play with him… myself didn’t knew it, but my soul already recognize that Yuusuke has blood relative with me.”
“But… but, that time you look like you can’t accept it.”
“Yeah I does can’t that time. Because you know what…” Yuto pause to inhale and exhale before he released the hug and spinning Ryosuke body around, making the latter to face him. “Because I was worried… I still didn’t have a decent job and I still trying very hard to manage the company. I’m afraid that I will neglecting both of you.”
“So… you didn’t hate me?” Ryosuke asked with an innocent face while slightly pouting his lips. After what Yuto just said, Ryosuke can figure out that the taller guy didn’t hate him. There’s no doubt anymore, but he still wanted to ask.
Yuto rolled his eyes and cupped Ryosuke cheek with his palms. “Baka, I never hate you…” He lifted up Ryosuke head a little. Its take a second before Ryosuke lips fully trapped by Yuto’s. It’s been so long… too long, but nothing had changed. It still taste the same like before- so soft. Ryosuke gladly to accept the unexpected kiss and tip toeing himself a little while his hand moved by itself, roaming through Yuto’s back up to his neck. Pressing his body up to deepening the kiss which is getting hotter by second.
-But sorry… the author doesn’t wanna make this chapter into NC-17- The kiss ended with Yuto parted their lips away to both catch some oxygen. Ryosuke face was flustered by the kiss so he immediately turned the opposite side so that Yuto won’t see his face. He couldn’t believe himself that he actually fall for that kiss. Yuto chuckles and move his hand to reach for Ryosuke hand and hold it tightly. “Now you trust me?” He asked.
Ryosuke still don’t want to look at Yuto so he just nodding his head while facing the wall. There was a tiny table in front of him where he put his juice glass on. He can’t see Yuto face, but through the glass, he can see Yuto reflection and the latter is…. Crying? Ryosuke shot his eyes open and quickly turned back, much of his surprise… Yuto really is crying. “Chotto! Yu-Yuto, why did you cry?” Ryosuke asked worriedly. Yuto smiled and shaking his head lightly. “Because finally you accept me back” Then suddenly he looked a little angry, Ryosuke could help but creasing his forehead, thinking why Yuto mood changed so easily. “But I’m still angry with you.” Yuto said sternly.
“Why?” He asked curiously.
“Because you never told me that Yuusuke birthday was around the corner! When is it?”
“Umm… tomorrow.”
“What?” Yuto exclaimed. “I didn’t buy anything yet for a present!”
Ryosuke sighed and releasing Yuto grip on his hand then continue working with the decorations matter. “Then go buy some after this.” He answered nonchalantly.
“Yeah I will and you will accompany me to buy it”
“Why me?” Ryosuke questioning him.
“Of course it must be you!” Yuto roll his eyes and sighed. “Because you’re his mother and I’m his father. We should go buy it together!” A grin make it way through Yuto face as the taller guy walked to Ryosuke side. “We can consider it as a date. We never manage to have a proper date right before this.” He said.
“Forget it Yuto…” Ryosuke replied rather coldly toward him. “I didn’t have much time to have a date with you… just go buy it yourself.”
“Hey, hey, hey…. Why suddenly being tsun-tsun with me? You were so happy earlier and now when I asked you to buy a present for Yuusuke, you reject it.”
Ryosuke didn’t say anything and just pointing his finger toward the mountain of ribbons, color paper, cardboards, paper bags, balloons… “Oh!” Yuto replied slowly while blinking his eyes. “Then if I help you with it, will you accompany me?”
“I’ll try to consider that… but now,” Ryosuke take a scissor and a piece of paper and then hand it to Yuto. “You want to help right… now take this and start decorating.”
“Okay!” Yuto replied excitedly. If it mean he can spend time with Ryosuke… he’ll do it without complaining.
********
Ryosuke lock the front door before he go out from the house. He glance at his watch and then at the road. "What took him so long? He just need to get his car right?” Ryosuke sighed and decided that he should wait for Yuto at the roadside. It take another fifteen minutes before finally Ryosuke could see Yuto car heading toward him.
“Gomen, gomen…” Yuto sincerely apologize toward Ryosuke who’s looking at him angrily.
“Ten minutes more, it will be one hour.” Ryosuke said, still feeling so mad with Yuto. He’s damn so worried if something had happened to Yuto on his way back home. “I was thinking of canceling this plan earlier.”
Yuto smiled and lean forward to give Ryosuke a hug. “But you still wait right…”
“Because I trust you… I know you will come back.” Ryosuke replied in whisper as he burying his face on Yuto chest. He start to trust Yuto and he want to always trust this guy. Because their love isn’t a one-sided love… it’s mutual. They love each other and that reason is enough to make Ryosuke to trust Yuto again after almost five years.
*******
The date seem to be working out well. Ryosuke laughed at Yuto who’s picking some random toy then show it to him, asking him to choose which one is the best. Everything is going smoothly. Actually Ryosuke still couldn’t believe that their first date will be now. Back then, whenever they planned to do something or want to have a date, there was always an obstacle.
“I think you should choose something else… I already make that as my present to him.” Ryosuke said when he see Yuto choose a big robot, the same one with what he choose to give Yuusuke. Ryosuke chuckles when he saw Yuto pouting his lips while putting back the toy on it shelves.
“I don’t know what I should give to him!” Yuto voiced out his frustration and walk out from the store with Ryosuke following behind him.
“Don’t give up easily. I’m sure you will find something good enough to be a present.” Ryosuke said, trying to comforting the disappointed young guy.
When Yuto reach his car, he suddenly remembered something. “Ryosuke, don’t you have to go pick Yuusuke from school?”
“Nope, Yuusuke will be staying with Hikaru till his birthday party tomorrow.”
“Souka…” Yuto nodding his head lightly and get inside his car. “Nee, since it’s our date… why don’t we go get something to eat first. I wanna go on a real date with you.”
“Un! Sound good to me”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
TBC~~ <3
A/N: Hello minna-san!! miss me? -hehe~~--
it's been a while since I updated this story... and this chapter were so long, there's actually more than 6000+ words but since 6 is too long, I cut it and make it into just 4000+, the rest will be in the next chapter...
I have to stop writing to focus on studying since last week was exam week... but when I decided to continue writing after that, suddenly I got author block!
after so much hassle, finally I was able to finish this... "Sorry because I wanna keep this fiction into PG-13"
anyway, please enjoy reading and leave your thought below okay ^_^/
Author: kuroyukisama_17
Pairing: YutoYama (main), YabuHika, Yabu x OC
Genre: AU, BL, slice of life, fluff, friendship, Angst free
Rating: PG-13
warning: contains more that 4000 words~~
Chapter 8
Yabu sip his coffee before he let out a long sigh. He feel so unease and guilty at the same time with what they planned to do. “I can’t stop feeling guilty.” He voice out his feeling while gazing at the person in front of him. That person in front of him which is his own boyfriend smiled assuredly and bring his hand forward to hold the latter’s hand tightly. “Daijoubu… I know that you can do it. I’ll be with you, currently I’m also at fault in this matter.” He said, trying to comforting his worried boyfriend.
“But… I’m afraid if he couldn’t accept our relationship! I don’t wanna him to do something so reckless! He still my bestfriend and I’m his only family… I can’t help but feeling so afraid to tell him”
“Kota… please, please… it’s better to told him sooner. You can’t keep this secret forever from him. Sooner or later, he’ll know!” He said firmly. He want him to make a decision now… somehow somewhere deep inside his heart, he also doubting the idea- but it’s better for them to reveal than keeping it as a secret like this. He love this guy, and he’ll do anything to fight for his love.
“Okay! I’ll talk to him.” Yabu finally agreed while nodding his head after thinking for a couple of minutes. His boyfriend was right; he should tell Hikaru about their relationship sooner. He really hope that Hikaru won’t break down and think of doing something so stupid due to can’t accept the fact.
I hope everything will be okay…
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today Ryosuke intentionally take Yuusuke to his school with two reason; first is because he’s worried to let Yuusuke go to school alone and second is, he’s hoping that he will bumped with Yuto on their way to school. He can’t stop feeling unease after Yuto leave him two days ago with an expression that shows that he still couldn’t accept what he just knew. Yesterday he didn’t do anything since he thought Yuto still need time to think but today; he really want to know what happened to Yuto. It enter the second day and he didn’t even once saw the taller guy around the neighborhood.
Whatever he thought might be Yuto decision later… there’s actually only two ways that could be his decision- weather he choose to accept or leave them. Each time he thought that Yuto might choose the first one… he wanted to cry- but still manage to control his feeling with resetting his mind with thinking that it’s just an assumption- his own assumption.
Ryosuke bits his lower lip because of frustrated that he didn’t see any sign of Nakajima Yuto driving pass them that morning. Does Yuto always go to work so early in the morning? Ryosuke thought while throwing an empty gaze at the busy road in front of Yuusuke schools. He know he’s right about this- he always saw Yuto walking around this area each time he wanted to take a break from his work at the office. His working place was just a few kilometers from Yuusuke school and he need to drive pass the school first to reach his destiny.
Or… maybe he take a different road. To avoid seeing me and Yuusuke. He hate me now, no wonder is he don’t wanna see us! Again, he thought negatively. Ryosuke shake his head lightly to wash off his negative thought and say his goodbye to Yuusuke then proceed to his own working place with a heavy feeling.
******
“Umm… Yamada-sensei? Yamada-sensei, daijoubu?”
Ryosuke snapped when he feel someone pat his shoulder. Ryosuke turned around and saw one of his fellow teacher friends - a young female teacher- currently looking at him in wonder. “Yes?” He answered her.
“You seem to be so off today, I have heard you sighed for almost ten times in each thirty minutes. Is there something that bothering you?”
Ryosuke shake his head lightly and crave a tiny smile. “I’m okay… just feel a little tired.” Ryosuke replied.
“Okay if you had say that… just make sure to take care of yourself. The students here like you so much because they said that you’re a very good teacher. So I didn’t want you to suddenly take a leave because over worked.” She said and then excuse herself to leave for lunch. She asked if Ryosuke wanted to join her, but Ryosuke reject the offer. He didn’t feel like he need to eat now, he is feeling so agitated.
********
Another day had passes and Yuto still didn’t show up. Ryosuke start to regrets everything and he start to feel stressed again. He is questioning, why he let Yuusuke spending time with Yuto? Why is he so easily to forget the fact that Yuusuke full name was Nakajima Yuusuke? Why he choose to get back with Yuto? Why this? Why that… why?
Hikaru realized Ryosuke changed attitude when the latter worked at his restaurant that evening. There’s no more smile craved on his face like usual. “And now what happen?” Hikaru asked Daiki who is currently standing next to him. Coincidence both of them have the evening shift at the restaurant that evening. Daiki can only shrugged his shoulder as a sign that he didn’t know anything. But somehow, he can guessed who the person responsible for what happened to Ryosuke are; it must be that Nakajima Yuto! He shouted inside his heart.
“Maybe because of that Nakajima guy;” Daiki said what he thought. Hikaru sigh while rolling his eyes. “When will his agony ended?” He questioning himself and when back to do his work. He decided to not interfere, Ryosuke should know how to handle his own problem alone now. Since it was a love problem…. He can’t help anything but giving advice. So he better to just watch now until if something worse happened.
“What about yours?”
“Eh, me?”
“Yeah you…” Daiki replied. He’s not looking at Hikaru when he’s asking question and focusing on doing his own work. He is not planning to be a busybody, but- he just wondering, he care too much for Ryosuke and careless for his own problem. It that really okay? “You shouldn’t think much of other people, think of your first. Ryosuke is not the only person here who have a love problem.” He added more.
“That’s not your business.” Hikaru replied rather coldly and walk away. He don’t wanna talk about his matter. “Ryosuke problem and my problem are different.” He added from far but still could be heard by Daiki.
Daiki didn’t say anything for reply and resuming his work in silent. He heard his phone ring, he reach his jean pocket and take it out. A mail? Daiki open the inbox to read it.
From: Kei-chan
Subject: Wish me good luck!
We are going to settle everything with him tomorrow, I hope thing won’t get worse. Wish us a very good luck Dai-chan!! I’ll e-mail you again to tell you what happen. Bye J
Daiki clench his fists as a very guilty feeling enveloping his whole body especially his heart. Both of them are his bestfriend. His hand is shaking as he typing a reply. Un! Good luck. He send it as soon as he finished typing. Daiki slowly avert his gaze toward Hikaru from far. “Gomen Hikaru… because Kei is my bestfriend.” He whispered that hurtful fact. Hikaru was so wrong if he think he didn’t involve in his matter…
“If that time I knew it was Yabu-kun… I’ll definitely won’t encourage him to confess and steal Yabu-kun away from you…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Ryosuke just finished doing a little shopping, he already out of raw ingredient at home so he stopped by first at the convenience store to buy some meat and vegetables after work today. White breathe can be seen coming out from Ryosuke open mouth when he’s out from the convenience store. It’s already dark when he look at the sky and one by one the street lamp switched on by its own, giving light to the people who are walking on the street. “I better heading home now.” Ryosuke tightening his grip on his groceries bags and ready to running back home.
But his eyes caught a figure walking entering the same convenience store he just go out from. Yuto!! A smile make it way on Ryosuke face when he finally see Yuto. “Yuto, um... Yuto!” Ryosuke tried to call the latter but shockingly, Yuto walked pass him without even turning around to look at him. The taller guy just walk like he doesn’t know Ryosuke at all. “Eh?” His body froze for a few second as his brain slowly trying to digest what just happen.
I just get ignored, Yuto ignore me…. He really hate me now-
*******
“You’re not going to work today?” Daiki asked when he saw Ryosuke still wearing his apron and didn’t go changed his clothes.
“I’ll take a rest for today…” He answered.
“Why? Are you sick?” Daiki asked more.
Ryosuke try to force himself to crave a smile. It’s obvious that Daiki is worried with him. It’s rare for him to take a rest from working. Well he didn’t plan to use the whole day resting at home; Ryosuke has something he need to do. And the other reason is… he’s seriously not in the mood to go to work today. “No, I’m fine. I have something that I need to do today.” Ryosuke explained to Daiki and the latter just replied with shrugging his shoulder before leaving the house to go to his university this morning and then to the restaurant at the evening.
He don’t know since when that he start to feel grateful that he got his days filled with classes and part-time job. Daiki turn around for the last time to look at the door of his shared house with Ryosuke. He did say he will support Ryosuke- but honestly… deep inside his heart; he still didn’t give up on wanting Ryosuke. Why can’t it be me?
Daiki shaking his head lightly to lift up his mood. He need to be in his best condition when it’s studying time… or else he will end up sleeping in the class. Daiki turning his body back and ready to run to the station.
“Okay…” Ryosuke turned around to face his only son after Daiki finally out of the house. He crouching down in front of the boy. “Yuu-chan, today Hika will pick you up from school. And since mom have a work to do till night, you have to have a sleepover at Hikaru house okay.”
Being an obedient son, Yuusuke nodding his head. Well, he don’t mind spending the night at Hikaru house. It’s so fun since Hikaru will accompany him in playing video games. “When will you come back?” He asked.
“As soon as possible. I’ll go straight toward Hikaru house to pick you up if my work finished.” Ryosuke stand up and took of the apron from his clothes before he lean his hand to hold Yuusuke hand. “Saa… let’s go to school.”
“Un…”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I hope that papa can be there at my birthday party…
When he thought back about that- his hand stopped moving and Ryosuke goes knocking his head on the hard wall… again and again.
And when he rewind back what happen yesterday with Yuto; he got more depressed and accidently tearing the color paper at his hand. “Man~ look what have I done!” Ryosuke sighed and throw the color paper into the dustbin and take a new one. He cut it into a bear shapes before hanging it on the wall.
“Ryosuke, let’s stop for a minute and have some juice.” Haruna said with a two glass on her hand. She give one to Ryosuke and drink the other one.
Ryosuke thanked her and take a sit on the couch. He didn’t say any words or have a mood to make a conversations. But since it is Haruna, that lady will ask him something that he really don’t wanna talk about -especially about him and Yuto.
“So, any progress lately?”
Ahh~~~ there she go… “Not really-“Though that he don’t wanna speak, his mouth still moved and answering Haruna question.
“Not really mean that something did happen right?”
“Yeah… Yuto already know that he’s Yuusuke biological father.”
Haruna eyes shot open when she heard that. “And you said that nothing really happen?!!” She shouted. “If Yuto knows then it is a big thing! Why didn’t you told me about this earlier?!” Now she start to scold him. She feel mad at Ryosuke but before she said something that she shouldn’t, Haruna try to calm herself and getting up from the couch. “Sorry because I shout at you.”
“It’s okay… I deserve to get scolded.” Ryosuke replied slowly.
“So, what is his reaction?”
Ryosuke close his eyes while tightening his grip on his glass. He when silent for a couple of second before slowly, shaking his head. “H… He,” His voice stuck. Ryosuke inhale and exhale deeply. “He hate me?” He finally say it along with few drops of tears coming out from the corner of his eyes. Ryosuke quickly wiped it away with his sleeves.
“So just forget about him! Yuusuke and I can live without him. Yuusuke didn’t have to know about his father. I’ll tell a lie- maybe saying that his father is a soldier and already dead when he was on a mission. Yeah… that is the best! I don’t have to feel so trouble waiting for Yuto. He-”
“Ryosuke…” Haruna cut his words. Her gaze look so sad when she look at Ryosuke- reflecting that she is so disagree with his idea.
“Yes?”
“Is that really okay?” She asked bitterly.
Ryosuke clenched his teeth and avert his gaze from looking at Haruna. “Ofcourse it’s not okay!” He exclaimed. “But what can I do if Yuto hate us. Hate the fact that he’s Yuusuke biological father!”
“I’m sure there is some good explanation here. There’s no way that Yuto will hate you. When he come here intentionally to take you back, I know he still love you- so much.”
“Take me back?” Ryosuke tilt his head in wonder. “I thought that he move here because of his work.”
Ah yabai!! I shouldn’t have said that... “Well… I thought like that. Umm… maybe? Anyway what is important is that I know and so sure that he still love you.” Haruna said. Lucky that she manage to cover what she just said before that. It’s supposed to be a secret.
Haruna look at her watch and frown. “Yabai! I need to be at the hospital!”
“Are you leaving?”
Haruna nodding her head and quickly wearing her jacket. “Sorry… I promise I’ll come back and help with the cake at the evening.”
“It’s okay… I can manage this alone. Your job is more important.”
In a quick pace, Haruna already out from the house and then driving away. She still feel guilty for leaving all the decorations matter to Ryosuke though that she already promise to help. “Someone need to help him. There’s no way Ryosuke can manage it alone.”
Like someone who is send by god, Haruna crave a bid smile when she saw someone she know can help Ryosuke beside the road. She drive to the side, nearing him and when he finally realize, she stopped her car and lowering the mirror. “Yuto!” She shouted out loud.
Yuto jolted back a little when he heard Haruna shouting from inside her car. “Could you stop shouting like that? You freak me out!!”
Haruna careless about that and proceed to her next question. “Where’re you going?”
“I wanna go meet with Ryosuke. Since there is a traffic jam this morning around my house area- I didn’t drive.”
“Good! But if you wanna meet him. You’re going to the wrong way.”
“Eh?” Yuto exclaimed while tilt his head. “But this is the way to the restaurant right? Ryosuke is working there right?”
“Nope! Not today. He’s at home…” Haruna pointed her forefinger to the opposite side to where she and Yuto are going. Then she suddenly lean out her head a little. “He wait for you to come…” She whispering and then goes back in with a grin plastered on her face.
“Wait, I can’t clearly hear what you said?”
“Nothing~ just go to his house okay… bye!” Haruna drive away with a peaceful feeling. Now she don’t have to worry about Ryosuke anymore. Yuto can take care of him. “See…. There’s no way that stupid guy will hate you. He’s searching for you~”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tomorrow is Yuusuke birthday. Like it or not… he have no choice but continue with his plan to tell a lie to him. But he won’t do it tomorrow at the birthday party. It will definitely ruined the mood. Ryosuke look around- his house now filled with a lot of colorful paper, ribbon, balloons, glitter and many more things. “Yosh! Ryosuke you can do this! Only half more!”
“But it will a lot more fun if someone else is here too… but I can’t burden Hika and Yabu- they have a lot of work already. Daiki too…. He need to study hard.” He sighed dejectedly- “Then… I’m all alone~”
When the doorbell ringed, Ryosuke rushed go to see whose coming. “Yes?” His expression changed as soon as he realize who is standing in front of him now. He froze there for a few second- completely shocked. “Y-Yuto?”
“Ryosuke~!!” Yuto shouted out loud and lean forward to give Ryosuke a big hug. “I really miss you~~” He said while hugging the latter tightly. He parted his body away after a few second but his hand are still on the latter waist. “Did you miss me too?” He asked cheerfully.
Ryosuke was a little confused with Yuto cheerful attitude. Yesterday he ignore him and now he confessed that he miss him so much. What the hell was going on here? Ryosuke didn’t say anything and let Yuto inside his house. Yuto creased his forehead when he see how mess up the place is. “Are you doing something?”
“Yuusuke birthday party preparation…” Ryosuke replied slowly.
“Eh? Houto? Can I help? Please~” Yuto jumped a little and begging Ryosuke to let him help too.
“S-sure…” knowing that Yuto won’t stop begging until he said yes, so he agree to let Yuto help him. Well; he did hope for someone to help him right-
“Yatta!” Yuto look so excited and he already start picking up what he should do. He pick up a pink colored ribbon and show it to Ryosuke. “Then I will start with this one.”
Ryosuke know, he should said that he is a really weird person. Now he’s no longer alone. But instead of feeling happy, Ryosuke feel so uncomfortable -that is really weird right?- he feel extremely uncomfortable. -okay that’s a big lie- Ryosuke is standing alone far from Yuto while his body is facing the wall. He fight the urge to turn around and look at the taller guy and doing his work in silent. There are a lot of thing currently inside his mind. He really wanted to ask Yuto about his answer. He wanted to know why he is ignoring him. He wanted to know whether he still love him or not- okay… in simple words, he want to know everything. But didn’t dare to ask.
“You are so mean Ryosuke…”
Yuto voiced had breaking the dead silent between them. Eh? Ryosuke snapped from his deep thought and quickly turned toward Yuto who is back facing him. He still has the same ribbon on his hand and just playing with it. There is a sad and bitter expression hanging on the latter face.
“Why didn’t you told me anything? Why’re you keeping all of this from me? Do you really don’t want me to be inside your life so much? Are you resent me that much?” Yuto asked him non-stop, letting out his confusedness all this time. He don’t get it… he really don’t get it why Ryosuke refuse to told him about something so important like this.
“Eh?” Ryosuke can’t figure out the proper words for reply so simply ‘eh’ is the only words manage to come out from his mouth that time.
“Don’t just say ‘eh’… talk!” Yuto demanded him. It’s now, he wanted to know everything. “Spill out everything that I deserve to know but I don’t know… I wanna know everything!” Yuto shouted to him.
“What I told you that time was all. There was no more… Yuusuke is your son and Daiki and I are not married. It just an act we planned together to make sure that you won’t know that Yuusuke was your son!” Ryosuke shouted back. He has his own reason for doing that. He still a teenagers that time, lack of choice, too much hassle… so the only choice he had was to keep it secret from Yuto.
“Why…”
Ryosuke avert his gaze and slowly turned around to once again back-facing the latter. “Because you might hate it… you hate it to know that Yuusuke was actually your son.” He told Yuto one of the reason- but still, he refuse to tell him everything.
Yuto throw the ribbon at his hand to the floor and run to hug the latter from his back. Trapping Ryosuke small body in his embrace. He won’t let the latter run away- “How can you so smart and so idiot in the same time… Ryosuke you really are special.” He whispered slowly while pressing his face onto the back of Ryosuke head.
Due to shocked, Ryosuke body are stiffed inside Yuto embrace and he didn’t let out a single word and just letting Yuto to finished talking. “You are so idiot… how can you thought that I will hate you? I’ll never hate you… I can’t hate you.” It left a bitter feeling to him to learn that Ryosuke still thought that he didn’t love him. “I love you Ryosuke…” He confessed again, he will say it again and again until one day, Ryosuke finally can accept him back. He refuse to give up. “I love you so much and with loving you, it also means I love Yuusuke too. Honestly, I always love that kids- even before I learn that he’s actually my real son.”
“Is that true?” Ryosuke asked, still feeling a slight doubt.
Yuto nodding his head lightly. “Yuusuke-kun is a special person to me, same like you. I hate to see him sad, I don’t wanna see him cry. I wanna always be able to play with him… myself didn’t knew it, but my soul already recognize that Yuusuke has blood relative with me.”
“But… but, that time you look like you can’t accept it.”
“Yeah I does can’t that time. Because you know what…” Yuto pause to inhale and exhale before he released the hug and spinning Ryosuke body around, making the latter to face him. “Because I was worried… I still didn’t have a decent job and I still trying very hard to manage the company. I’m afraid that I will neglecting both of you.”
“So… you didn’t hate me?” Ryosuke asked with an innocent face while slightly pouting his lips. After what Yuto just said, Ryosuke can figure out that the taller guy didn’t hate him. There’s no doubt anymore, but he still wanted to ask.
Yuto rolled his eyes and cupped Ryosuke cheek with his palms. “Baka, I never hate you…” He lifted up Ryosuke head a little. Its take a second before Ryosuke lips fully trapped by Yuto’s. It’s been so long… too long, but nothing had changed. It still taste the same like before- so soft. Ryosuke gladly to accept the unexpected kiss and tip toeing himself a little while his hand moved by itself, roaming through Yuto’s back up to his neck. Pressing his body up to deepening the kiss which is getting hotter by second.
-But sorry… the author doesn’t wanna make this chapter into NC-17- The kiss ended with Yuto parted their lips away to both catch some oxygen. Ryosuke face was flustered by the kiss so he immediately turned the opposite side so that Yuto won’t see his face. He couldn’t believe himself that he actually fall for that kiss. Yuto chuckles and move his hand to reach for Ryosuke hand and hold it tightly. “Now you trust me?” He asked.
Ryosuke still don’t want to look at Yuto so he just nodding his head while facing the wall. There was a tiny table in front of him where he put his juice glass on. He can’t see Yuto face, but through the glass, he can see Yuto reflection and the latter is…. Crying? Ryosuke shot his eyes open and quickly turned back, much of his surprise… Yuto really is crying. “Chotto! Yu-Yuto, why did you cry?” Ryosuke asked worriedly. Yuto smiled and shaking his head lightly. “Because finally you accept me back” Then suddenly he looked a little angry, Ryosuke could help but creasing his forehead, thinking why Yuto mood changed so easily. “But I’m still angry with you.” Yuto said sternly.
“Why?” He asked curiously.
“Because you never told me that Yuusuke birthday was around the corner! When is it?”
“Umm… tomorrow.”
“What?” Yuto exclaimed. “I didn’t buy anything yet for a present!”
Ryosuke sighed and releasing Yuto grip on his hand then continue working with the decorations matter. “Then go buy some after this.” He answered nonchalantly.
“Yeah I will and you will accompany me to buy it”
“Why me?” Ryosuke questioning him.
“Of course it must be you!” Yuto roll his eyes and sighed. “Because you’re his mother and I’m his father. We should go buy it together!” A grin make it way through Yuto face as the taller guy walked to Ryosuke side. “We can consider it as a date. We never manage to have a proper date right before this.” He said.
“Forget it Yuto…” Ryosuke replied rather coldly toward him. “I didn’t have much time to have a date with you… just go buy it yourself.”
“Hey, hey, hey…. Why suddenly being tsun-tsun with me? You were so happy earlier and now when I asked you to buy a present for Yuusuke, you reject it.”
Ryosuke didn’t say anything and just pointing his finger toward the mountain of ribbons, color paper, cardboards, paper bags, balloons… “Oh!” Yuto replied slowly while blinking his eyes. “Then if I help you with it, will you accompany me?”
“I’ll try to consider that… but now,” Ryosuke take a scissor and a piece of paper and then hand it to Yuto. “You want to help right… now take this and start decorating.”
“Okay!” Yuto replied excitedly. If it mean he can spend time with Ryosuke… he’ll do it without complaining.
********
Ryosuke lock the front door before he go out from the house. He glance at his watch and then at the road. "What took him so long? He just need to get his car right?” Ryosuke sighed and decided that he should wait for Yuto at the roadside. It take another fifteen minutes before finally Ryosuke could see Yuto car heading toward him.
“Gomen, gomen…” Yuto sincerely apologize toward Ryosuke who’s looking at him angrily.
“Ten minutes more, it will be one hour.” Ryosuke said, still feeling so mad with Yuto. He’s damn so worried if something had happened to Yuto on his way back home. “I was thinking of canceling this plan earlier.”
Yuto smiled and lean forward to give Ryosuke a hug. “But you still wait right…”
“Because I trust you… I know you will come back.” Ryosuke replied in whisper as he burying his face on Yuto chest. He start to trust Yuto and he want to always trust this guy. Because their love isn’t a one-sided love… it’s mutual. They love each other and that reason is enough to make Ryosuke to trust Yuto again after almost five years.
*******
The date seem to be working out well. Ryosuke laughed at Yuto who’s picking some random toy then show it to him, asking him to choose which one is the best. Everything is going smoothly. Actually Ryosuke still couldn’t believe that their first date will be now. Back then, whenever they planned to do something or want to have a date, there was always an obstacle.
“I think you should choose something else… I already make that as my present to him.” Ryosuke said when he see Yuto choose a big robot, the same one with what he choose to give Yuusuke. Ryosuke chuckles when he saw Yuto pouting his lips while putting back the toy on it shelves.
“I don’t know what I should give to him!” Yuto voiced out his frustration and walk out from the store with Ryosuke following behind him.
“Don’t give up easily. I’m sure you will find something good enough to be a present.” Ryosuke said, trying to comforting the disappointed young guy.
When Yuto reach his car, he suddenly remembered something. “Ryosuke, don’t you have to go pick Yuusuke from school?”
“Nope, Yuusuke will be staying with Hikaru till his birthday party tomorrow.”
“Souka…” Yuto nodding his head lightly and get inside his car. “Nee, since it’s our date… why don’t we go get something to eat first. I wanna go on a real date with you.”
“Un! Sound good to me”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
TBC~~ <3
A/N: Hello minna-san!! miss me? -hehe~~--
it's been a while since I updated this story... and this chapter were so long, there's actually more than 6000+ words but since 6 is too long, I cut it and make it into just 4000+, the rest will be in the next chapter...
I have to stop writing to focus on studying since last week was exam week... but when I decided to continue writing after that, suddenly I got author block!
after so much hassle, finally I was able to finish this... "Sorry because I wanna keep this fiction into PG-13"
anyway, please enjoy reading and leave your thought below okay ^_^/