The Heralds of the White God: 4
Title: The Heralds of the White God chapter 4 - Glow
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual content (this chapter)
Summary: In which Kurogane and Fai have a flaming row, and Syaoran makes new friends in high places.
Fanart for this chapter!
Sakura and Syaoran hold hands by konnichipuu
Sick Fai in the sunlight by konnichipuu
What Kurogane sees (lucky him) by culacuuby
Seriously guys, I don't know what I did to deserve being so lucky. ;_;
The Wizards Of Ceres
Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV
Chapter V - Chapter VI - Chapter VII - Chapter VIII
Chapter IX - Chapter X
This was the first time he'd ever been in Fai's private chambers. When last he'd been in Ceres, he and Fai had still been estranged, and he'd never been invited. The winding stone staircase topped out on a landing just large enough for the heavy wooden door to open; there was no room for guards to be stationed here. As he pushed open the heavy oaken door and strode inside, a part of his mind automatically scanned the room and took stock of his surroundings, assessing potential threats or resources.
Even if he'd never known Fai, it would have been obvious that this was a learned man's room. Three of the walls of the main chamber -- and more glimpsed through doorways opening to smaller chambers on the side -- were lined with shelves groaning under the heavy weight of books. An unusually wide, south-facing window caught a large wedge of sunlight; a large desk had been positioned to take advantage of the light, motes of dust filtering up in the sunbeams from its rich, dark-brown varnished surface. Yet more books were piled haphazardly on the corner of the desk, and papers were merging into an untidy pile beyond it, with an impressive rack of quill pens and ink-blotters standing ready beyond. A glass globe lamp positioned on the wall above the desk was not lit, although it caught and kindled a bright white light in its crystal facets from the sunlight.
Yet despite the library-like atmosphere, this place definitely had the feel of being lived-in, and for a long time. Narrow, framed squares of art decorated what of the walls was left free by the bookshelves, the pictures seeming overly colorful and chaotic to Kurogane's eye; they reminded him of their owner. A large, four-poster bed piled high with cushions and furry covers occupied the darker corner of the room, leading Kurogane to wonder what the other rooms were for, if not separate for sleeping. Other items cluttered every free surface, failing to register as meaningful to Kurogane's eye; whether tools or decorations or whimsical toys he didn't know.
All this imprinted on Kurogane's eyes in a matter of seconds, then was pushed to the back of his mind as his gaze locked on the chair set beside the window, out of the way of the beam of sunlight, and the man sitting within.
He didn't know what he'd been expecting to see, not really. His mounting frustration over the past endless weeks, the hesitance and refusal to speak on the part of the other wizards… all of it had gone to fuel his anxiety to roaring heights. He thought his paranoia had imagined every way this meeting could go, every way that things could possibly go bad.
He'd been wrong.
Fai was clean and freshly washed, his hair tied back neatly at the nape of his neck. He was wearing indoor clothes of the Ceres style; soft, but richly decorated with colored thread and elaborate embroidery. Even the patch over his eye had been given a stylized, subtle design, and the blanket that was wrapped around the man's legs and piled in his lap was equally decorated.
The incongruity of the luxurious setting left Kurogane dizzy; because apart from being clean and dressed, Fai looked so like he had that night in Seishirou's dungeon that the sight of him struck Kurogane like a blow. His skin was dry and papery, drawn so tight into sunken cheeks that his face almost resembled a skull. His wrists and hands -- all that was visible of him under the concealing long sleeves and high collar -- were painfully emaciated, every bone and tendon visible under the skin.
His eyes had been closed when Kurogane burst in, the purple-shadowed eyelid giving evidence to the exhaustion that hung around him like a pall, as though just sitting upright in the chair was all that he could do. As Kurogane's footsteps clattered loudly through his sanctuary, the wizard opened his eye, revealing a cloudy dark gold iris beneath; but he did not look up or turn his head.
He looked like a man on his last legs, a man in the grip of some terrible wasting illness; like a month-old corpse dressed up in party clothes and propped up for display, and it was sick. Kurogane knew what he had to do, what he had been called here to do, and a part of him longed to rush over to the pitiful figure in the chair and offer his blood, slit open a vein on the spot. He wasn't worried that Fai would refuse him; Fai had never been able to refuse him before, not on the really important things.
But he was stayed by the storm of emotions that surged up in him, seeing his lover like this, the man he'd loved and fought and sacrificed for brought so low. And for what? For someone who valued his life so little that he would let himself starve to death while he continued to cling stubbornly to -- what? Pride, guilt, shame, regret, sheer bloody-minded stubbornness? For what?
"You stupid idiot," was all he could manage to say, barely able to give voice to his rage. "You utter moronic asshole."
"We haven't seen each other in three months and already he's calling me names," Fai remarked to the air, as if addressing an unseen audience. "This is exactly the sort of thing I have to put up with from him."
"You haven't fed, not even once," Kurogane raged. "You promised me that you would. You gave your word! Is this what your promises are worth?!"
"Shall I become a parasite prince, then?" Fai inquired brightly, still not turning his head to meet Kurogane's gaze. "Shall I raise my people as food, to be fattened like cows and led to the slaughter to satisfy my base desires? No, thank you; my father the late king of Valeria once walked that road, but I will not."
"Cut the righteous crap!" Kurogane snarled, and in three long strides he had crossed the chamber and seized Fai by the collar, yanking him around to face him. "It's not the same thing, it's nothing like the same thing! I practically had to wade through people downstairs who were ready to hand me my head on a platter if I so much as looked at you funny. You selfish shit, you made everyone worry! How long have they had to watch you waste away? You put Sakura through that, and Yukito, and Gods help me I can't stand the man, but Ashura too! How bad does it have to get before he stoops to asking me for favors? You made me travel all this way from Edo, to find you like this --"
"I didn't ask him to send for you," Fai snapped, glaring at Kurogane at last. He put a hand up and tried to push Kurogane's arm away, but Kurogane could feel his hand trembling with weakness and there was no strength in the motion. "Any of them! In fact, I explicitly told them not to, until they decided to ignore me --"
"Then they should have ignored you weeks ago!" Kurogane raged. "They shouldn't have needed to send for me at all, none of this needed to happen, if not for your Gods-damned stubbornness and self-pity! How can I ever be expected to turn my back on you, only to find that you let everything go to hell the moment I'm out of sight? For fuck's sake! Are you a man, or are you a toddler throwing a tantrum? I can't babysit you and force you to take your medicine for the rest of your life!"
"Nobody asked you to babysit me," Fai said lowly, dangerously, and his expression went feral as the shape of his eye shifted, the pupil contracting into a slit line as he raised his face into the sunlight to glare poisonously at Kurogane. "If I'm so much trouble to you, then just go! I didn't want you to come here anyway. You never wanted to burden yourself with me in the first place, so what does it matter to you if I do die?"
"It matters because I love you!" Kurogane shouted at the top of his lungs. A very small part of his mind wondered how well soundproofed Fai's rooms were, and how this conversation would sound to the wizards waiting below. "I promised you that I wouldn't let myself die, because you said you loved me too, you said you needed me! Well, I need you to live for me, too -- you swore that you would give me something to come back to! I kept my word -- why didn't you keep yours?"
Fai's only answer was a wordless, inhuman snarl. His hands flashed up to grab the edges of Kurogane's shirt, talons unsheathing from his fingers to prick against the skin of Kurogane's chest. His lips peeled back, exposing long, predatory fangs. "Is this what you love, Kurogane-san?" he hissed. "This monster? Demon-slayer that you are, can you look me in the eye and still say --"
Kurogane had never been a man of words. He pulled Fai out of his chair, his body as light as a doll's in Kurogane's arms, letting the blanket slither to the floor unnoticed; and once Fai was of a close enough height, he leaned down and furiously kissed him.
Fai's breath was terrible and his teeth were jagged and sharp under Kurogane's lips, but he didn't care; he felt a small pain as the sharp edge of Fai's fangs dragged over his bottom lip, and tasted the raw iron tang of blood between them. Fai made a needy, desperate sound, and lunged up to wrap his arms around Kurogane's neck, crushing himself against the bigger man. He returned the kiss with a wild fervor, lips and teeth and tongues crashing together; then, with a deep and shaky breath, he ducked his head, pressed his mouth against Kurogane's neck, and bit down.
This time, Kurogane wasn't at all afraid, he didn't even feel the mild revulsion of the second feeding. Because he'd been missing Fai and longing for him for months, and as the fangs sank into his skin and the blood began to flow, the blood bond which had been dormant for months sprang back to life between them. It was like something missing had finally snapped back into place, the empty aching place inside of him had suddenly been filled again.
He could feel Fai's presence again, feel the searing desperate heat of his emotions, could almost taste the bright hot blood which was life passing between them. Mine, you're mine, I won't share this with anyone else, he gloated, and then wasn't sure where that had come from; was that Fai's thought or his own? But it was true; as much as he raged at Fai for refusing to feed from others, as angry and horrified he was that Fai had sunk to this desperate state, the truth was… the truth was, he didn't want to share Fai with anyone else this way. It was too intimate, too strong, and too beautiful.
His knees were going weak and he staggered, his arms still full of Fai, and a quick and fleeting glance around was enough to get his bearings. He twisted them around and then stumbled backwards, letting momentum take them to the edge of Fai's bed where he crashed over backwards, Fai landing on top. The vampire did not release his hold despite the impact, shifting around to wrap his arms desperately around Kurogane's shoulders and his legs around Kurogane's hips.
The change in position brought their groins together in a jolt of friction and pleasure, pleasure that reverberated along the blood bond from one back to another. Kurogane groaned, and he grabbed Fai's hips mindlessly to pull him back again. Yes, you're mine, they thought between them, and more, please don't stop. They were only half-aware of the sunny bedroom around them, the velvet-soft covers beneath them; all they could sense was each other, the sweet friction of their urgent grinding and the rush of emotions passing from one to another. Later on there would be time for words, to ask each other questions and give promises; for now, it was enough just to feel each other.
Fai didn't last long; the mixed rush of energy flowing through his body along with Kurogane's blood and the hungry pressure of their bodies after so long apart was too much for him. He gasped aloud, his fangs unsheathing from Kurogane's neck as he threw his head back, his hips spasming forward against Kurogane's groin as he came. The bright moment of ecstasy echoed back over the blood bond, still strong and powerful even after breaking contact; Kurogane shuddered and groaned, burying his face in Fai's hair as he felt the sticky warmth flood his trousers.
For long minutes afterwards they lay together, not saying anything, just listening to each other breathe. Kurogane monitored his own heartbeat, felt the dizziness in his head and the weakness in his limbs speaking of blood loss; but it was not nearly as bad as it had been in previous times, and he was used to pushing through injury and debilitation. Fai hadn't hurt him, not that Kurogane had expected him to.
Eventually Kurogane reached out and took Fai's chin, tilted his face upwards so he could see it in the light. Already, he marveled. Just that, and it's amazing how much better he looks. Still too thin, I can see the bones under his skin, but at least he doesn't feel like he's going to break under my hands any more. It really isn’t like normal hunger at all.
"Enough for a start," he murmured, kissing Fai's forehead. "More later." The wizard made an unhappy sound, but was too smart to protest.
They lapsed into an exhausted silence, pressed tight into each other's arms, while sunlight poured through the window casement and made the motes of dust dance on the air.
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Peeling potatoes had given way to mincing fine strips of meat, and then grinding lumps of rock salt and spices in a mortar, but the time seemed to fly away under Syaoran's hands as he drank in the pretty girl's company. His willingness to work seemed to have sweetened the other kitchen workers on him; they no longer complained about his presence, and even gave him and Sakura small samples of that night's dessert. There was a temporary break, now, between the preparation of food and the washing of dishes; the two of them were spending it sharing a small slice of fruit-glazed cake. Syaoran could not believe his luck.
"Syaoran-san, if you came with Kurogane-san, you're from Nihon, right?" she asked. "I'm trying to practice my Nihongo. Father says everyone at court has to learn, but I don't want to just be okay at it -- I want to be as good as I can be! For that, I really need the help of someone who's a native speaker. Maybe we could practice together, and you could help me with my accent?"
"I think your pronunciation is very good already," Syaoran assured her. "But -- I mean, it's not that I wouldn't want to help you, but actually, I'm not a native speaker either. I wasn't born in Nihon. I came from a country far away from here, a country called Clow -- you've probably never heard of it."
"Ehh? Really?" She almost dropped her fork, and her eyes went wide with amazement. "So you haven't just seen one other country -- you've seen two?!"
"A-actually, I've seen a lot of countries," he said, puffing his chest up a little bit at her look of wide-eyed admiration. "My father was a scholar, an archaeologist -- someone who studies old things. He traveled to a lot of different countries, looking for rare things in different places, and I went with him. After he -- after he died, I went to Nihon to study swordsmanship under my Master."
To his own surprise, he found that he didn't want to tell this girl exactly how his father had died. He was sure it would make her sad, and he realized he didn't want to make her sad. Although he still blamed the wizards of Ceres for the death of his father, and he would like nothing so much as to throw it in their faces and accuse them, cry out for justice, he forced himself to admit that this young girl was not to blame. She was about his age -- she would only have been a child at the time, too.
"Wow…" she breathed, not seeming to notice his sudden withdrawal. "That's really cool! Getting to go to so many places and meet lots of people. I've always wanted to travel, I've always dreamed of getting out of the palace, but --" she looked down at the crumbs remaining on the plate, fiddling uncomfortably with her hands.
"The palace is all I've ever known, and the people here are the only ones I ever see. Everyone's nice, but… sometimes I get lonely for new people." She looked back up at Syaoran, and flashed another bright smile. "New people like Syaoran-san! That's why I have to study Nihongo really hard, so that when I meet new people, I can talk with them!"
"I think that you shouldn't have to practice Nihongo if you don't want to," he said. "Because I've only heard a little of it so far, but I think that the Ceres language is really beautiful. My father would have -- would have loved to hear it. I think you should speak your own language if you want to."
"Really?" she said, obviously touched by the compliment. "I-if you'd like to hear more, I could say something…"
"Yes, please do," he said immediately.
She smiled at him, then shifted her stance slightly, took a deep breath, and said a long sentence in the same liquid, musical language that he'd heard the guards at the border speaking. He heard his own name "Syaoran" go past, but couldn't understand any of the rest of it. In her voice, the rough gutturals were gentled, the harsh consonants softened, and he felt a shiver go through him as the words rippled past, even though he couldn't understand them.
"What… what did you say?" he said in a hushed voice, after she stopped.
She blushed slightly, her cheeks turning a delicate pink, and avoided meeting his eyes as she translated. "I said… um… 'Syaoran-san is pretty cute and really cool. He's been to many different places and knows so much. I hope I get a chance to know him better.' Well, something like that. Some of the words aren’t exactly…" She trailed off. "Sorry, I know it's kind of rude to talk about somebody in a language they don't understand…"
"Syaoran," he blurted out, and hastened to clarify when she blinked at him in confusion. "J-just plain Syaoran. If I'm not supposed to call you 'Miss Sakura,' then you have to call me just Syaoran."
"Okay… Syaoran," she said, smiling at him. Helplessly, he smiled back.
A shadow fell over them as someone moved in front of the fire. "Your Highness?" a gruff voice interrupted them, and they both looked up at once to the face of an unsmiling guard. "What are you doing here, without an escort? And who is this boy?"
"Oh, Ferio," Sakura exclaimed, addressing the guard with a hint of exasperation and fond familiarity. "I know I'm safe in our palace's own kitchens! This is Syaoran. He came with the Nihon ambassador this afternoon, and he offered to help me cook dinner."
Highness? Syaoran's throat swiveled around to stare incredulously at Sakura, and his mouth went dry with disbelief. No… it can't be… And yet, she wasn't correcting him…
"Someone of your station shouldn't be helping the servants in the first place," the guard retorted, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Syaoran. "Princess, you know the law. No outsiders are supposed to know of your presence, let alone talk to you so familiarly --"
"Oh, please!" She gave the older man a pleading look, with big, sparkly green eyes. "It'll be fine! I already know Kurogane-san, and Syaoran came with him and is his trusted student. They've already been cleared to enter the palace in the first place, Yukito and Fai-niisan and Father all said it's okay for them to be here, so we know they're not our enemies. Syaoran is very nice, I'm sure he would never do anything he shouldn't. Can't you just let him stay here, Ferio? It's been so long since I had someone of my own age to talk to…"
The guard sighed in exasperation. "If King Ashura were to find out about this, he'd have a fit," he remonstrated. "He wasn't even happy about you associating with that Suwa barbarian! The rules were created for your own protection, you know that. It's just too dangerous for any outsiders to see you."
"Father doesn't have to know, he's so busy with the clan heads right now," Sakura protested. "Syaoran would never hurt me. He's my friend, and I don't have very many friends. Please just let him alone. Besides, he's already seen me once already, so the rule's already been broken, hasn't it? Sending him away now won't change that."
The guard glared at Syaoran, who stared back in a kind of frozen horror. Part of his mind gibbered at him about the wicked fur-clad guards of Ceres, and how his father had been taken away by them and never seen again. But the main part of his mind kept running in little circles and returning in panic to a single yelped word: Princess?!
"Oh, all right," the guard finally surrendered ungraciously. "I won't throw him out on his tail. But you are not leaving my sight again, understand? I'll remain until you're ready to go back to your chambers, and then I'll escort you."
"Thank you, Ferio!" Sakura said brightly; the light-haired man retreated, keeping a watchful eye on Syaoran the whole time. She turned back to Syaoran. "I'm sorry about that," she said in a low-pitched tone. "You'd think I'd be safe enough in here of all places, in the middle of the palace with guards everywhere, but they never --"
"Princess?" Syaoran squeaked out; it seemed to be all his mind was capable of. "You're a princess? The princess, I mean, princess of Ceres, the King's daughter? That princess?"
Sakura nodded. "King Ashura is my father," she said, a certain wariness in her voice. "I -- I don't have any other siblings, so I'm the only one."
"I'm sorry!" Syaoran blurted, horrified by his own presumption. "I had no idea who you were! I, I didn't even know King Ashura had a daughter? I'm so, so sorry if I offended -- or said anything --"
"No, no, how could you?" Sakura interrupted him, and he could tell by her voice that she was slightly upset, the way she agitatedly swiped a lock of hair back out of her face. "It's this silly law again. It's been in place ever since I was born. No one outside of Ceres is supposed to meet me, or even know who I am. Even inside Ceres, not everyone knows about me -- I think some places think I'm just a rumor or a ghost story. I'm never allowed to leave the castle, or meet anyone from the outside -- except you."
Despite his lingering panic over the unexpected revelation, Syaoran couldn't help but react to the catch in his voice. "That -- that's terrible," he said, slowly relaxing his death-grip on the edge of the table. "It's like you’re a prisoner in your own home. It sounds… really lonely."
"It is lonely," she admitted in a tiny voice; but then a shaky smile appeared on her face. "But it's not so lonely now that you're here, Syaoran."
Daringly, he reached out and took her hand in his own, and nearly burst with happiness when her smile became more real, and she returned his grip.
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"Why didn't you send for me?" Kurogane asked at last, quietly now, all the fury and passion drained out of his voice; although he was still angry, simmeringly angry, all the urgency was gone. "I almost came too late. What if I had arrived a week later and found you dead? What would I have done then?"
"I'm sorry," Fai whispered.
"Don't be sorry. Don't do it in the first place," Kurogane said in irritation. "You never did tell me why. Why didn't you keep your promise, why wouldn't you feed?"
"I tried," Fai said softly, and turned his face away, so that only a crescent of his face showed.
Kurogane blinked, then sat up, scowling at his lover. "What?" he said.
"I tried… to keep my promise," Fai said, still looking away. "I couldn't. It just didn't work. I… it seems that I can't drink any blood but yours, Kuro-sama."
"What? You -- " Kurogane repeated, disbelief suffusing his voice. A dozen different reactions, responses, emotions crowded his mind; shock, chagrin, anger, jealousy. It was a measure of how off-balance he was that the first question he allowed to escape his lips was: "With who?"
"Yukito," Fai said, the confession made in a very small voice. That was all he said, but the blood bond between them was still so strong and recent that the memory swirled up between them, Kurogane seeing it as Fai had. The laboratory chamber, doors locked and curtains drawn against the outside world. Yukito's face, pale and intent and concerned and a little pained, as he holds one bleeding palm over a silver goblet. When the goblet is half-full he pulls back, wraps gauze around his hand, then lifts the goblet and carries it over to Fai, who takes it in shaking hands and hesitates, then raises it to his lips. It's just food, he tells himself. Nothing to be ashamed about. It is freely given, not begrudged. And he drinks.
And he chokes, the silver chalice falling from his hand and banging on the smooth stone floors, blood spattering in a wide and wasted arc on the cobblestones. Yukito's alarmed face, seen out of the corner of watering eyes as he falls to his knees, coughing and retching and trying to bring up the burning liquid, the wrong blood, before it chokes him. Coughing and coughing…
The vision faded away, and Kurogane was left agape. "Why --" he began, his mind already searching for an explanation, a way out of it. "Was it just because of something in his blood, then? The other demons never -- "
"Not his. Yours," Fai corrected in a very hopeless and weary voice. "After that experiment, we… ran some tests, we tried to work out the rules of my new nature. It's because of the geas, at least, that's what we think. It was broken and twisted and distorted by Seishirou's magic, but it was never completely removed, and then it fused with the magic of the demon transformation. The geas was meant to bind me to you, and so it has -- yours is the only blood that I can take life and strength from."
"Can't you just get rid of the geas?" Kurogane demanded. "Ashura put it on you -- just make him take it off!"
Fai sighed, and leaned forward until his forehead rested against the carved wooden headboard. "We tried," he said, and his voice was reduced to almost a whisper. "We couldn't. Please, Kuro-tan, don't tax me about this. We tried everything we could to get rid of it, but it's gone too deep now. The only way to end the geas is with my death -- or if the original conditions of the geas were to be fulfilled. In other words, with your death. Until then, I am bound to you… and no other in this world."
Kurogane sat back a little, stunned, trying to wrap his mind around this new revelation. "Why didn't you tell me this right away?" he demanded, unable to stop himself from pushing the matter despite Fai's exhausted plea. "If you had just told me what was going on, instead of letting me think that you'd chosen to refuse to feed -- why did you just sit there and let me yell at you, instead?"
Fai raised his head and turned back to look sideways at Kurogane. "Kuro-noisy was in a yelling mood," he said dryly. "I don't really see how anything I could have done would have stopped him until he'd satisfied his need to yell."
"You --! Don't make me sound like I'm some sort of --" Kurogane sputtered, groping for the words and then shying away from them. His temper was beginning to rouse again, spurred on by guilt for the way he had unjustly yelled accusations and insults and harangued Fai for something that was not his fault.
A thought occurred to him, and inflamed his temper further. "Wait a minute! How, how long ago did you try to feed from Yukito?"
There was a moment of resistance, but Fai must have known that he could not conceal anything from Kurogane so soon after feeding, because he replied simply, "Two months. Three weeks after I returned to Ceres."
"So you knew -- you knew for two months, that you couldn't drink the blood of anyone here --"
"We didn't know then, we only suspected, it took us some time to try to analyze --"
"So you suspected for two months that you would starve to death," Kurogane said, raising his voice to shout over Fai's. " --And you didn't send for me until just one week ago?! What the hell, mage!"
"I told you that Kuro-drama wanted to yell," Fai said, "and that he would keep on yelling no matter what I told him."
Kurogane refused to be deterred. Fai had been inching steadily away from him throughout the entire argument; he reached out and grabbed Fai's shoulder, dragging the lighter man around to face him. "Why didn't you send for me?!"
Fai brought his gaze up to meet Kurogane's, his one golden eye meeting Kurogane's two; and although he didn't do a bad job of keeping his face blank and neutral, the look in his eye made Kurogane feel like he'd been sucker-punched. He stayed silent, but the answer still rang between them, as clearly as if he'd said it aloud: Because I was afraid you wouldn't come.
The anger drained away, and Kurogane raised a hand slowly through the air to brush against Fai's cheek, then run his fingers through Fai's hair and cup the back of his head. "You fool," he murmured, the tenderness in his voice belying the insult. "Don't you know I was going out of my mind, fretting at home, waiting for some word from you? I would have come. I would have come in an instant if only I'd known."
He paused for a moment, feeling the uncertain silence; the words, while true, felt somehow incomplete. He felt his way slowly from one realization to the next. "Back in Seishirou's dungeon, I offered you my blood," he said. "I volunteered, and that's as good as a promise, isn't it? It's as good as an oath. Whatever you need from me, I'll be here for you. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive, for as long as you need, for the rest of both our lives if that's what it takes. I so swear on my honor as a samurai."
It was a solemn oath, and an offer that startled him even as he made it; by saying it, he'd made a vow of loyalty equal in strength and obligation to that of his liege lord, Tomoyo. But he couldn't, wouldn't rescind that oath. The decision had been made months ago, in a dark and stinking dungeon slimy with stone; he refused to regret it now.
A dam seemed to break in Fai, and he flung himself forward, grabbing onto Kurogane and holding tight with a desperation that was almost painful. He was shivering as if he were cold; as Kurogane, startled, brought his arms up to wrap around his lover, rubbed awkwardly over the skin to warm him up. "Hey," he murmured. "What's wrong now?"
"I was afraid --" Fai choked out, then his words failed him. But they still rushed between his skin and Kurogane's, back and forth with every beat of his heart. I was afraid you wouldn't come. I was afraid it was too much to ask of you, even you, too much to ask of anyone. I was afraid to ask and have you say no, because if you refuse me then I will die, and more than anything else in the world I was afraid to die alone.
"Idiot mage," Kurogane whispered into his hair, dismay tightening his throat as he began to realize just how close to the edge Fai had come. He didn't understand it, he just didn't understand it; feeling the primal core of terror that Fai had felt, as hunger tightened its grip on him and every day brought him closer to death, how he had still refused to call for help; for that fear of the rejection that would make it all final, slam the last door of hope and make that terror a reality.
"I know," Fai mumbled in a shaky voice, and he gave a weak giggle, interrupted by a hiccup. "So many different words for it. I'm a fool, an idiot, a moron, a --"
"Shut up," Kurogane said, and to make sure Fai did, he kissed him. "You are without doubt an idiot. But at least you're mine."
Fai's arms loosened from their desperate stranglehold, and he eased back a little to meet Kurogane's eyes, his own eye glittering suspiciously in the lamplight. He smiled, a bit tremulously, but at least it was real. "I'm yours," he agreed.
These covers really were incredibly soft, really very comfortable, Kurogane thought as he lay back down against them, pulling Fai down to lie against his skin. Much better quality than the crisp sheets and rough blankets on his futon at home. As long as he was here, he ought to enjoy them.
"Nobody's going to interrupt us in here, are they?" he breathed, his lips only inches from Fai's skin.
He felt the beat of Fai's pulse, his breath quicken and his limbs tighten in response to the question, and its implications. "No..." he said shakily. "They'll leave us alone until we come out."
"Good," Kurogane muttered, and began running his hands over Fai's skin once more.
At first it was just touching, looking and touching, feasting his eyes and hands on the body he'd been missing and dreaming of for months. Fai looked as good as he remembered. Fai looked damn good, skin pale and even and body lean and toned -- although skinnier than he liked, at least it was nothing like the near-skeletal starvation as before. He was happy that Fai had improved so much so quickly; the bloodthirst wasn't at all like other kinds of hunger in that regard, he realized. Like Fai had said, he could go for weeks without food, then be revived in a single night when he was given what his body needed. Which only made it more stupid that he had let it get that far in the first place.
"Kuro-puu?" Fai ventured, responding tentatively to the scowl that briefly tightened Kurogane's features; he closed his own hands around Kurogane's wrist and hand, and smiled hopefully at him.
"I'm done yelling," Kurogane assured him, and he leaned down, kissing Fai's lips, laving the corner of his mouth with his tongue. Fai still had a sharp taste, a little like blood, but it didn't disgust him; it was exciting, even stimulating. "For now, anyway."
Fai laughed, a shaky rush of air as his ribcage heaved. "Good…" he breathed, echoing Kurogane's words. "Hate to spoil the mood…" He reached up and ran an open palm up Kurogane's arm, his palm caressing lovingly over the muscles of Kurogane's biceps and shoulder, then forming into a fist and tugging at his undershirt. "Off?"
"Mm," Kurogane made an agreeing noise. He pushed himself up, holding himself up with his core muscles while he swiftly stripped the shirt and tossed it negligently over the bed. His pants followed, and it was a relief to lose those for more than one reason; they were still itchy and sticky from earlier, and that was not a pleasant feeling to have on a renewed erection. He was beginning to get hard again, despite the earlier feeding; the blood-loss hadn't been as severe as last time, not severe enough to incapacitate him completely, a fact which Kurogane appreciated right now. He growled under his breath as he planted his hands on either side of Fai's chest, and stared down at him, eyes narrowing as he planned his next move.
Fai seemed rather taken aback by his sudden aggression, and his chuckle had a slightly nervous air. "Why, Kuro-pop, so bold," he joked. "Whatever happened to my sweet virgin demon-hunter…?"
"That's definitely in the past, so don't you even think calling me that ever again," Kurogane said brusquely. To tell the truth -- not that he planned to give Fai all the details -- once he'd realized that this was something he'd wanted, there was no way he planned to remain ignorant on the subject. His wasted time in Edo had been of at least some benefit here, in that it had allowed him to study up and find out much more about lovemaking -- specifically between two men -- than he'd ever thought to need before. Fai still had years of experience on him -- there was nothing to be done about that but time -- but Kurogane had no intention of being a passive partner any more.
"I've been thinking about you," he dipped his head to kiss Fai's lips, then trailed down to softly mouth the bone of his jaw; "missing you," a kiss to the line of his throat; "dreaming of you for months now." A gentle bite to the sharply defined bone of his collarbone, he really would have to make sure to feed Fai better. "I'm not going to waste this opportunity."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Fai assured him solemnly, but there was a smile twitching about his lips and a light in his eye. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck, pulling himself off the bed to arch against him and return the kiss. "So what do you want to do first?" he murmured.
"I want… you to fuck me," Kurogane managed to get that sentence out without stuttering, although heat touched his cheeks despite all his determined resolve. He narrowed his eyes in a glare, daring Fai to laugh at him.
Showing uncommon tact, for a change, Fai did not laugh. "Are you sure?" he questioned. "I thought -- I mean, I thought you didn't want to 'be the woman.' And it can be uncomfortable, especially the first time, if you'd rather I…"
"In the first place, I'm not afraid of pain," Kurogane asserted. "In the second place, you're still the one who knows what he's doing. In the third place, it's supposed to feel good, or so they say. Am I wrong about that?" And in the fourth place, Kurogane added silently, you're the one who's been sick, you're the one who looks like you'd snap in half in a stiff breeze. Some guardian he'd be, if he ended up letting Fai get hurt even more due to his inexperience.
Fai's eye narrowed, as though he'd caught some of that last thought, but he didn't immediately retaliate, so Kurogane was pretty sure he was still safe.
"No, it is," Fai agreed. A frown wrinkled his face. "I just -- that is -- there are other things we can do, you know. It's not like there's only one right way to enjoy each other, no matter who's on top or who's on bottom. I just don't want you to --"
"Can we please just decide what we're going to do and then do it?" Kurogane interrupted him. He grabbed Fai's hand and pulled it up against him, the other man's eye going wide as he felt the throbbing hardness there. Just that contact sent a thrill up Kurogane's spine, and renewed his determination. "Really."
Fai expelled a breath on a shaky laugh, and his hand curled around the length of Kurogane's erection, giving it a slow, soft stroke that made Kurogane's toes curl. "If you're so determined, who am I to argue?" he asked, rather hypocritically since he'd been the only one arguing. He arched his back, lifting his head far enough off the pillow to give Kurogane a kiss. "Turn over."
Several moments of shifting around, each brush of skin feeling like fire, and Kurogane was up on his knees with his arms cross in front of him, surveying the pattern of embroidery on the pillows with great attention. Fai knelt behind him, warm hands smoothing over his ass and flanks, dropping light kisses on the end of his spine.
When Fai's fingers first penetrated, warm and slick with oil, Kurogane stiffened, then forced himself to relax. Pain was not the issue; Kurogane's pain tolerance was much higher than this, which was barely uncomfortable -- even pleasant, in a strange unexpected way. But it was… just new, and embarrassing, and frighteningly intimate. Still, he trusted Fai. He'd always trusted Fai, even when he should have known better.
He knew that. So why did he feel so…
Abruptly Kurogane pulled his attention away from the insistent demands of his pleasure-washed body, yanked those emotions into the forefront where he could examine them more closely. Anxiety; fearfulness; the desire to please, the fear that he would disappoint… these weren't his emotions at all! It was the damn blood bond, messing with his head again. Which meant that Fai was…
He sighed, and shifted position, unfolding his arms and shifting over onto his side so that he could look at Fai's face. "Hey," he said. "It's just me, you know."
Fai froze, his eye going wide like he was about to bolt. "What?" he said breathlessly. " -- is something wrong?"
"It's just us," Kurogane said, pausing to try to choose his words, uncertain what was the right thing to say. "You don't need to worry so much… about whether I'm having a good time, or whatever. You can't hurt me."
Fai slowly relaxed, and gave a weak laugh. "I guess I'm just having a moment of stage fright," he said. "Don't mind me."
Kurogane sat up, reaching out and grabbing Fai's shoulder and pulling him closer. "Enough of this," he said. "If I can tell how upset you are, then you ought to be able to tell that right now, I really, really want you to fuck me."
Fai didn't respond in words; he kissed Kurogane again, on the mouth, on the jaw, his lips and tongue trailing down Kurogane's throat and leaving a warm trail of saliva drying on his chest. Fai really had something of an oral fetish, Kurogane thought irrelevantly. Kissing in and of itself was not something the warrior had ever had much interest in, but he liked it because Fai did.
Fai shifted lower, and Kurogane held his breath, thighs quivering as Fai settled between his legs and bent his head to take in Kurogane's cock. Oh fuck, he'd been dreaming about this exact position for months -- ever since their first too-brief encounter on the cold mountainside he'd wanted more of this, lain awake and alone in frustration in his room back at Edo. Dreams of feeling Fai's hot, wet mouth on his cock, of being able to look down and see that blond head bobbing between his thighs… his hands fisted in the covers, and he groaned, his hips jerking in little arcs as he fought the instinct to thrust.
He felt Fai's lips curving in a smile around his cock, and then the fingers were back, pressing into him with that odd mix of discomfort and pleasure. Kurogane was a fast learner, and he was already plotting about using these same lessons later on Fai's own body. If this was what it was like, being on the bottom, then he supposed it wasn't all so bad, although it was nothing like great as the blowjob Fai was giving him…
An arc of pleasure bolted up Kurogane's spine, and his body seized and jerked, a strangled half-cry ripping its way out of his throat. Fai lifted his head, and at least he didn't laugh at Kurogane's reaction, or he really would have had to kill him. " -- the fuck was that?" he wheezed after a moment.
"The reason, Kuro-tan, why they say it's really good…" Fai murmured, shifting position to his own knees as he lifted Kurogane's legs over his shoulder, spreading his legs wider. "It gets better."
"Show me," Kurogane taunted him, voice vibrating with the intensity of his feeling. "Now."
Fai pressed forward, and Kurogane gasped as the slight discomfort stretched into an aching burn; but he didn't care, he really didn't, now that he could feel Fai's cock inside him. It felt right, to be joined this way, to be part of each other's bodies like they'd already been part of each other's minds. The blood bond made a feedback loop between them; he could feel a faint shadow of what Fai felt, pulsing with each beat of his heart. Fai groaned, and pushed his own hips forward as he began to move.
Soon Kurogane was rising to meet him, quickly picking up the hang of the right way to move. It was a dance between them, Fai's smaller, lighter frame -- always surprising in the strength contained within that wiry body -- and his own moving together, rocking waves of pleasure that built every time in intensity. Beads of sweat pooled off Fai's forehead and chest and rolled off him, dripping down to pool on Kurogane's body; he could smell sweat, and musk, and dust, and the strange tang that was Fai's body scent now that he was part vampire, and he was drowning in the heat and scent and sensation.
Fai finished first, snapping forward and arching his spine with a strangled cry. The wash of pleasure had Kurogane thrumming with tension, stretched to an unbearable breaking point; with a half-breathed curse he grabbed his own hand around Fai's on his erection, and stroked together in a frenzy until his own orgasm overtook him. It was the second time that day, but no less intense for that, and he clutched Fai's body brutally hard against his own until his muscles stopped twitching.
"So what do you think," Fai asked breathlessly, as they both lay trying to recover, their hearts slowing and breath evening out. He slipped out of Kurogane's body and wriggled up beside him, flopping half on him and half on the covers. "Good?"
"Don't ask stupid questions. You know it was," Kurogane grumbled contentedly, resting his chin against the top of Fai's blond hair.
A nagging thought wanted to intrude on his bliss, a reminder that he hadn't just come here to have make-up sex with Fai, no matter how fantastic. Two countries out there were threatening to slide into war, and relying on him -- somehow -- to stop it. And although he knew Fai was a staunch ally, he didn't really know how much the wizard would be able to do.
Later, he'd worry about the consequences of this, and decide what he was going to do next. Later.
~to be continued...
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual content (this chapter)
Summary: In which Kurogane and Fai have a flaming row, and Syaoran makes new friends in high places.
Fanart for this chapter!
Sakura and Syaoran hold hands by konnichipuu
Sick Fai in the sunlight by konnichipuu
What Kurogane sees (lucky him) by culacuuby
Seriously guys, I don't know what I did to deserve being so lucky. ;_;
The Wizards Of Ceres
Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV
Chapter V - Chapter VI - Chapter VII - Chapter VIII
Chapter IX - Chapter X
This was the first time he'd ever been in Fai's private chambers. When last he'd been in Ceres, he and Fai had still been estranged, and he'd never been invited. The winding stone staircase topped out on a landing just large enough for the heavy wooden door to open; there was no room for guards to be stationed here. As he pushed open the heavy oaken door and strode inside, a part of his mind automatically scanned the room and took stock of his surroundings, assessing potential threats or resources.
Even if he'd never known Fai, it would have been obvious that this was a learned man's room. Three of the walls of the main chamber -- and more glimpsed through doorways opening to smaller chambers on the side -- were lined with shelves groaning under the heavy weight of books. An unusually wide, south-facing window caught a large wedge of sunlight; a large desk had been positioned to take advantage of the light, motes of dust filtering up in the sunbeams from its rich, dark-brown varnished surface. Yet more books were piled haphazardly on the corner of the desk, and papers were merging into an untidy pile beyond it, with an impressive rack of quill pens and ink-blotters standing ready beyond. A glass globe lamp positioned on the wall above the desk was not lit, although it caught and kindled a bright white light in its crystal facets from the sunlight.
Yet despite the library-like atmosphere, this place definitely had the feel of being lived-in, and for a long time. Narrow, framed squares of art decorated what of the walls was left free by the bookshelves, the pictures seeming overly colorful and chaotic to Kurogane's eye; they reminded him of their owner. A large, four-poster bed piled high with cushions and furry covers occupied the darker corner of the room, leading Kurogane to wonder what the other rooms were for, if not separate for sleeping. Other items cluttered every free surface, failing to register as meaningful to Kurogane's eye; whether tools or decorations or whimsical toys he didn't know.
All this imprinted on Kurogane's eyes in a matter of seconds, then was pushed to the back of his mind as his gaze locked on the chair set beside the window, out of the way of the beam of sunlight, and the man sitting within.
He didn't know what he'd been expecting to see, not really. His mounting frustration over the past endless weeks, the hesitance and refusal to speak on the part of the other wizards… all of it had gone to fuel his anxiety to roaring heights. He thought his paranoia had imagined every way this meeting could go, every way that things could possibly go bad.
He'd been wrong.
Fai was clean and freshly washed, his hair tied back neatly at the nape of his neck. He was wearing indoor clothes of the Ceres style; soft, but richly decorated with colored thread and elaborate embroidery. Even the patch over his eye had been given a stylized, subtle design, and the blanket that was wrapped around the man's legs and piled in his lap was equally decorated.
The incongruity of the luxurious setting left Kurogane dizzy; because apart from being clean and dressed, Fai looked so like he had that night in Seishirou's dungeon that the sight of him struck Kurogane like a blow. His skin was dry and papery, drawn so tight into sunken cheeks that his face almost resembled a skull. His wrists and hands -- all that was visible of him under the concealing long sleeves and high collar -- were painfully emaciated, every bone and tendon visible under the skin.
His eyes had been closed when Kurogane burst in, the purple-shadowed eyelid giving evidence to the exhaustion that hung around him like a pall, as though just sitting upright in the chair was all that he could do. As Kurogane's footsteps clattered loudly through his sanctuary, the wizard opened his eye, revealing a cloudy dark gold iris beneath; but he did not look up or turn his head.
He looked like a man on his last legs, a man in the grip of some terrible wasting illness; like a month-old corpse dressed up in party clothes and propped up for display, and it was sick. Kurogane knew what he had to do, what he had been called here to do, and a part of him longed to rush over to the pitiful figure in the chair and offer his blood, slit open a vein on the spot. He wasn't worried that Fai would refuse him; Fai had never been able to refuse him before, not on the really important things.
But he was stayed by the storm of emotions that surged up in him, seeing his lover like this, the man he'd loved and fought and sacrificed for brought so low. And for what? For someone who valued his life so little that he would let himself starve to death while he continued to cling stubbornly to -- what? Pride, guilt, shame, regret, sheer bloody-minded stubbornness? For what?
"You stupid idiot," was all he could manage to say, barely able to give voice to his rage. "You utter moronic asshole."
"We haven't seen each other in three months and already he's calling me names," Fai remarked to the air, as if addressing an unseen audience. "This is exactly the sort of thing I have to put up with from him."
"You haven't fed, not even once," Kurogane raged. "You promised me that you would. You gave your word! Is this what your promises are worth?!"
"Shall I become a parasite prince, then?" Fai inquired brightly, still not turning his head to meet Kurogane's gaze. "Shall I raise my people as food, to be fattened like cows and led to the slaughter to satisfy my base desires? No, thank you; my father the late king of Valeria once walked that road, but I will not."
"Cut the righteous crap!" Kurogane snarled, and in three long strides he had crossed the chamber and seized Fai by the collar, yanking him around to face him. "It's not the same thing, it's nothing like the same thing! I practically had to wade through people downstairs who were ready to hand me my head on a platter if I so much as looked at you funny. You selfish shit, you made everyone worry! How long have they had to watch you waste away? You put Sakura through that, and Yukito, and Gods help me I can't stand the man, but Ashura too! How bad does it have to get before he stoops to asking me for favors? You made me travel all this way from Edo, to find you like this --"
"I didn't ask him to send for you," Fai snapped, glaring at Kurogane at last. He put a hand up and tried to push Kurogane's arm away, but Kurogane could feel his hand trembling with weakness and there was no strength in the motion. "Any of them! In fact, I explicitly told them not to, until they decided to ignore me --"
"Then they should have ignored you weeks ago!" Kurogane raged. "They shouldn't have needed to send for me at all, none of this needed to happen, if not for your Gods-damned stubbornness and self-pity! How can I ever be expected to turn my back on you, only to find that you let everything go to hell the moment I'm out of sight? For fuck's sake! Are you a man, or are you a toddler throwing a tantrum? I can't babysit you and force you to take your medicine for the rest of your life!"
"Nobody asked you to babysit me," Fai said lowly, dangerously, and his expression went feral as the shape of his eye shifted, the pupil contracting into a slit line as he raised his face into the sunlight to glare poisonously at Kurogane. "If I'm so much trouble to you, then just go! I didn't want you to come here anyway. You never wanted to burden yourself with me in the first place, so what does it matter to you if I do die?"
"It matters because I love you!" Kurogane shouted at the top of his lungs. A very small part of his mind wondered how well soundproofed Fai's rooms were, and how this conversation would sound to the wizards waiting below. "I promised you that I wouldn't let myself die, because you said you loved me too, you said you needed me! Well, I need you to live for me, too -- you swore that you would give me something to come back to! I kept my word -- why didn't you keep yours?"
Fai's only answer was a wordless, inhuman snarl. His hands flashed up to grab the edges of Kurogane's shirt, talons unsheathing from his fingers to prick against the skin of Kurogane's chest. His lips peeled back, exposing long, predatory fangs. "Is this what you love, Kurogane-san?" he hissed. "This monster? Demon-slayer that you are, can you look me in the eye and still say --"
Kurogane had never been a man of words. He pulled Fai out of his chair, his body as light as a doll's in Kurogane's arms, letting the blanket slither to the floor unnoticed; and once Fai was of a close enough height, he leaned down and furiously kissed him.
Fai's breath was terrible and his teeth were jagged and sharp under Kurogane's lips, but he didn't care; he felt a small pain as the sharp edge of Fai's fangs dragged over his bottom lip, and tasted the raw iron tang of blood between them. Fai made a needy, desperate sound, and lunged up to wrap his arms around Kurogane's neck, crushing himself against the bigger man. He returned the kiss with a wild fervor, lips and teeth and tongues crashing together; then, with a deep and shaky breath, he ducked his head, pressed his mouth against Kurogane's neck, and bit down.
This time, Kurogane wasn't at all afraid, he didn't even feel the mild revulsion of the second feeding. Because he'd been missing Fai and longing for him for months, and as the fangs sank into his skin and the blood began to flow, the blood bond which had been dormant for months sprang back to life between them. It was like something missing had finally snapped back into place, the empty aching place inside of him had suddenly been filled again.
He could feel Fai's presence again, feel the searing desperate heat of his emotions, could almost taste the bright hot blood which was life passing between them. Mine, you're mine, I won't share this with anyone else, he gloated, and then wasn't sure where that had come from; was that Fai's thought or his own? But it was true; as much as he raged at Fai for refusing to feed from others, as angry and horrified he was that Fai had sunk to this desperate state, the truth was… the truth was, he didn't want to share Fai with anyone else this way. It was too intimate, too strong, and too beautiful.
His knees were going weak and he staggered, his arms still full of Fai, and a quick and fleeting glance around was enough to get his bearings. He twisted them around and then stumbled backwards, letting momentum take them to the edge of Fai's bed where he crashed over backwards, Fai landing on top. The vampire did not release his hold despite the impact, shifting around to wrap his arms desperately around Kurogane's shoulders and his legs around Kurogane's hips.
The change in position brought their groins together in a jolt of friction and pleasure, pleasure that reverberated along the blood bond from one back to another. Kurogane groaned, and he grabbed Fai's hips mindlessly to pull him back again. Yes, you're mine, they thought between them, and more, please don't stop. They were only half-aware of the sunny bedroom around them, the velvet-soft covers beneath them; all they could sense was each other, the sweet friction of their urgent grinding and the rush of emotions passing from one to another. Later on there would be time for words, to ask each other questions and give promises; for now, it was enough just to feel each other.
Fai didn't last long; the mixed rush of energy flowing through his body along with Kurogane's blood and the hungry pressure of their bodies after so long apart was too much for him. He gasped aloud, his fangs unsheathing from Kurogane's neck as he threw his head back, his hips spasming forward against Kurogane's groin as he came. The bright moment of ecstasy echoed back over the blood bond, still strong and powerful even after breaking contact; Kurogane shuddered and groaned, burying his face in Fai's hair as he felt the sticky warmth flood his trousers.
For long minutes afterwards they lay together, not saying anything, just listening to each other breathe. Kurogane monitored his own heartbeat, felt the dizziness in his head and the weakness in his limbs speaking of blood loss; but it was not nearly as bad as it had been in previous times, and he was used to pushing through injury and debilitation. Fai hadn't hurt him, not that Kurogane had expected him to.
Eventually Kurogane reached out and took Fai's chin, tilted his face upwards so he could see it in the light. Already, he marveled. Just that, and it's amazing how much better he looks. Still too thin, I can see the bones under his skin, but at least he doesn't feel like he's going to break under my hands any more. It really isn’t like normal hunger at all.
"Enough for a start," he murmured, kissing Fai's forehead. "More later." The wizard made an unhappy sound, but was too smart to protest.
They lapsed into an exhausted silence, pressed tight into each other's arms, while sunlight poured through the window casement and made the motes of dust dance on the air.
---------------------
Peeling potatoes had given way to mincing fine strips of meat, and then grinding lumps of rock salt and spices in a mortar, but the time seemed to fly away under Syaoran's hands as he drank in the pretty girl's company. His willingness to work seemed to have sweetened the other kitchen workers on him; they no longer complained about his presence, and even gave him and Sakura small samples of that night's dessert. There was a temporary break, now, between the preparation of food and the washing of dishes; the two of them were spending it sharing a small slice of fruit-glazed cake. Syaoran could not believe his luck.
"Syaoran-san, if you came with Kurogane-san, you're from Nihon, right?" she asked. "I'm trying to practice my Nihongo. Father says everyone at court has to learn, but I don't want to just be okay at it -- I want to be as good as I can be! For that, I really need the help of someone who's a native speaker. Maybe we could practice together, and you could help me with my accent?"
"I think your pronunciation is very good already," Syaoran assured her. "But -- I mean, it's not that I wouldn't want to help you, but actually, I'm not a native speaker either. I wasn't born in Nihon. I came from a country far away from here, a country called Clow -- you've probably never heard of it."
"Ehh? Really?" She almost dropped her fork, and her eyes went wide with amazement. "So you haven't just seen one other country -- you've seen two?!"
"A-actually, I've seen a lot of countries," he said, puffing his chest up a little bit at her look of wide-eyed admiration. "My father was a scholar, an archaeologist -- someone who studies old things. He traveled to a lot of different countries, looking for rare things in different places, and I went with him. After he -- after he died, I went to Nihon to study swordsmanship under my Master."
To his own surprise, he found that he didn't want to tell this girl exactly how his father had died. He was sure it would make her sad, and he realized he didn't want to make her sad. Although he still blamed the wizards of Ceres for the death of his father, and he would like nothing so much as to throw it in their faces and accuse them, cry out for justice, he forced himself to admit that this young girl was not to blame. She was about his age -- she would only have been a child at the time, too.
"Wow…" she breathed, not seeming to notice his sudden withdrawal. "That's really cool! Getting to go to so many places and meet lots of people. I've always wanted to travel, I've always dreamed of getting out of the palace, but --" she looked down at the crumbs remaining on the plate, fiddling uncomfortably with her hands.
"The palace is all I've ever known, and the people here are the only ones I ever see. Everyone's nice, but… sometimes I get lonely for new people." She looked back up at Syaoran, and flashed another bright smile. "New people like Syaoran-san! That's why I have to study Nihongo really hard, so that when I meet new people, I can talk with them!"
"I think that you shouldn't have to practice Nihongo if you don't want to," he said. "Because I've only heard a little of it so far, but I think that the Ceres language is really beautiful. My father would have -- would have loved to hear it. I think you should speak your own language if you want to."
"Really?" she said, obviously touched by the compliment. "I-if you'd like to hear more, I could say something…"
"Yes, please do," he said immediately.
She smiled at him, then shifted her stance slightly, took a deep breath, and said a long sentence in the same liquid, musical language that he'd heard the guards at the border speaking. He heard his own name "Syaoran" go past, but couldn't understand any of the rest of it. In her voice, the rough gutturals were gentled, the harsh consonants softened, and he felt a shiver go through him as the words rippled past, even though he couldn't understand them.
"What… what did you say?" he said in a hushed voice, after she stopped.
She blushed slightly, her cheeks turning a delicate pink, and avoided meeting his eyes as she translated. "I said… um… 'Syaoran-san is pretty cute and really cool. He's been to many different places and knows so much. I hope I get a chance to know him better.' Well, something like that. Some of the words aren’t exactly…" She trailed off. "Sorry, I know it's kind of rude to talk about somebody in a language they don't understand…"
"Syaoran," he blurted out, and hastened to clarify when she blinked at him in confusion. "J-just plain Syaoran. If I'm not supposed to call you 'Miss Sakura,' then you have to call me just Syaoran."
"Okay… Syaoran," she said, smiling at him. Helplessly, he smiled back.
A shadow fell over them as someone moved in front of the fire. "Your Highness?" a gruff voice interrupted them, and they both looked up at once to the face of an unsmiling guard. "What are you doing here, without an escort? And who is this boy?"
"Oh, Ferio," Sakura exclaimed, addressing the guard with a hint of exasperation and fond familiarity. "I know I'm safe in our palace's own kitchens! This is Syaoran. He came with the Nihon ambassador this afternoon, and he offered to help me cook dinner."
Highness? Syaoran's throat swiveled around to stare incredulously at Sakura, and his mouth went dry with disbelief. No… it can't be… And yet, she wasn't correcting him…
"Someone of your station shouldn't be helping the servants in the first place," the guard retorted, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Syaoran. "Princess, you know the law. No outsiders are supposed to know of your presence, let alone talk to you so familiarly --"
"Oh, please!" She gave the older man a pleading look, with big, sparkly green eyes. "It'll be fine! I already know Kurogane-san, and Syaoran came with him and is his trusted student. They've already been cleared to enter the palace in the first place, Yukito and Fai-niisan and Father all said it's okay for them to be here, so we know they're not our enemies. Syaoran is very nice, I'm sure he would never do anything he shouldn't. Can't you just let him stay here, Ferio? It's been so long since I had someone of my own age to talk to…"
The guard sighed in exasperation. "If King Ashura were to find out about this, he'd have a fit," he remonstrated. "He wasn't even happy about you associating with that Suwa barbarian! The rules were created for your own protection, you know that. It's just too dangerous for any outsiders to see you."
"Father doesn't have to know, he's so busy with the clan heads right now," Sakura protested. "Syaoran would never hurt me. He's my friend, and I don't have very many friends. Please just let him alone. Besides, he's already seen me once already, so the rule's already been broken, hasn't it? Sending him away now won't change that."
The guard glared at Syaoran, who stared back in a kind of frozen horror. Part of his mind gibbered at him about the wicked fur-clad guards of Ceres, and how his father had been taken away by them and never seen again. But the main part of his mind kept running in little circles and returning in panic to a single yelped word: Princess?!
"Oh, all right," the guard finally surrendered ungraciously. "I won't throw him out on his tail. But you are not leaving my sight again, understand? I'll remain until you're ready to go back to your chambers, and then I'll escort you."
"Thank you, Ferio!" Sakura said brightly; the light-haired man retreated, keeping a watchful eye on Syaoran the whole time. She turned back to Syaoran. "I'm sorry about that," she said in a low-pitched tone. "You'd think I'd be safe enough in here of all places, in the middle of the palace with guards everywhere, but they never --"
"Princess?" Syaoran squeaked out; it seemed to be all his mind was capable of. "You're a princess? The princess, I mean, princess of Ceres, the King's daughter? That princess?"
Sakura nodded. "King Ashura is my father," she said, a certain wariness in her voice. "I -- I don't have any other siblings, so I'm the only one."
"I'm sorry!" Syaoran blurted, horrified by his own presumption. "I had no idea who you were! I, I didn't even know King Ashura had a daughter? I'm so, so sorry if I offended -- or said anything --"
"No, no, how could you?" Sakura interrupted him, and he could tell by her voice that she was slightly upset, the way she agitatedly swiped a lock of hair back out of her face. "It's this silly law again. It's been in place ever since I was born. No one outside of Ceres is supposed to meet me, or even know who I am. Even inside Ceres, not everyone knows about me -- I think some places think I'm just a rumor or a ghost story. I'm never allowed to leave the castle, or meet anyone from the outside -- except you."
Despite his lingering panic over the unexpected revelation, Syaoran couldn't help but react to the catch in his voice. "That -- that's terrible," he said, slowly relaxing his death-grip on the edge of the table. "It's like you’re a prisoner in your own home. It sounds… really lonely."
"It is lonely," she admitted in a tiny voice; but then a shaky smile appeared on her face. "But it's not so lonely now that you're here, Syaoran."
Daringly, he reached out and took her hand in his own, and nearly burst with happiness when her smile became more real, and she returned his grip.
---------------------
"Why didn't you send for me?" Kurogane asked at last, quietly now, all the fury and passion drained out of his voice; although he was still angry, simmeringly angry, all the urgency was gone. "I almost came too late. What if I had arrived a week later and found you dead? What would I have done then?"
"I'm sorry," Fai whispered.
"Don't be sorry. Don't do it in the first place," Kurogane said in irritation. "You never did tell me why. Why didn't you keep your promise, why wouldn't you feed?"
"I tried," Fai said softly, and turned his face away, so that only a crescent of his face showed.
Kurogane blinked, then sat up, scowling at his lover. "What?" he said.
"I tried… to keep my promise," Fai said, still looking away. "I couldn't. It just didn't work. I… it seems that I can't drink any blood but yours, Kuro-sama."
"What? You -- " Kurogane repeated, disbelief suffusing his voice. A dozen different reactions, responses, emotions crowded his mind; shock, chagrin, anger, jealousy. It was a measure of how off-balance he was that the first question he allowed to escape his lips was: "With who?"
"Yukito," Fai said, the confession made in a very small voice. That was all he said, but the blood bond between them was still so strong and recent that the memory swirled up between them, Kurogane seeing it as Fai had. The laboratory chamber, doors locked and curtains drawn against the outside world. Yukito's face, pale and intent and concerned and a little pained, as he holds one bleeding palm over a silver goblet. When the goblet is half-full he pulls back, wraps gauze around his hand, then lifts the goblet and carries it over to Fai, who takes it in shaking hands and hesitates, then raises it to his lips. It's just food, he tells himself. Nothing to be ashamed about. It is freely given, not begrudged. And he drinks.
And he chokes, the silver chalice falling from his hand and banging on the smooth stone floors, blood spattering in a wide and wasted arc on the cobblestones. Yukito's alarmed face, seen out of the corner of watering eyes as he falls to his knees, coughing and retching and trying to bring up the burning liquid, the wrong blood, before it chokes him. Coughing and coughing…
The vision faded away, and Kurogane was left agape. "Why --" he began, his mind already searching for an explanation, a way out of it. "Was it just because of something in his blood, then? The other demons never -- "
"Not his. Yours," Fai corrected in a very hopeless and weary voice. "After that experiment, we… ran some tests, we tried to work out the rules of my new nature. It's because of the geas, at least, that's what we think. It was broken and twisted and distorted by Seishirou's magic, but it was never completely removed, and then it fused with the magic of the demon transformation. The geas was meant to bind me to you, and so it has -- yours is the only blood that I can take life and strength from."
"Can't you just get rid of the geas?" Kurogane demanded. "Ashura put it on you -- just make him take it off!"
Fai sighed, and leaned forward until his forehead rested against the carved wooden headboard. "We tried," he said, and his voice was reduced to almost a whisper. "We couldn't. Please, Kuro-tan, don't tax me about this. We tried everything we could to get rid of it, but it's gone too deep now. The only way to end the geas is with my death -- or if the original conditions of the geas were to be fulfilled. In other words, with your death. Until then, I am bound to you… and no other in this world."
Kurogane sat back a little, stunned, trying to wrap his mind around this new revelation. "Why didn't you tell me this right away?" he demanded, unable to stop himself from pushing the matter despite Fai's exhausted plea. "If you had just told me what was going on, instead of letting me think that you'd chosen to refuse to feed -- why did you just sit there and let me yell at you, instead?"
Fai raised his head and turned back to look sideways at Kurogane. "Kuro-noisy was in a yelling mood," he said dryly. "I don't really see how anything I could have done would have stopped him until he'd satisfied his need to yell."
"You --! Don't make me sound like I'm some sort of --" Kurogane sputtered, groping for the words and then shying away from them. His temper was beginning to rouse again, spurred on by guilt for the way he had unjustly yelled accusations and insults and harangued Fai for something that was not his fault.
A thought occurred to him, and inflamed his temper further. "Wait a minute! How, how long ago did you try to feed from Yukito?"
There was a moment of resistance, but Fai must have known that he could not conceal anything from Kurogane so soon after feeding, because he replied simply, "Two months. Three weeks after I returned to Ceres."
"So you knew -- you knew for two months, that you couldn't drink the blood of anyone here --"
"We didn't know then, we only suspected, it took us some time to try to analyze --"
"So you suspected for two months that you would starve to death," Kurogane said, raising his voice to shout over Fai's. " --And you didn't send for me until just one week ago?! What the hell, mage!"
"I told you that Kuro-drama wanted to yell," Fai said, "and that he would keep on yelling no matter what I told him."
Kurogane refused to be deterred. Fai had been inching steadily away from him throughout the entire argument; he reached out and grabbed Fai's shoulder, dragging the lighter man around to face him. "Why didn't you send for me?!"
Fai brought his gaze up to meet Kurogane's, his one golden eye meeting Kurogane's two; and although he didn't do a bad job of keeping his face blank and neutral, the look in his eye made Kurogane feel like he'd been sucker-punched. He stayed silent, but the answer still rang between them, as clearly as if he'd said it aloud: Because I was afraid you wouldn't come.
The anger drained away, and Kurogane raised a hand slowly through the air to brush against Fai's cheek, then run his fingers through Fai's hair and cup the back of his head. "You fool," he murmured, the tenderness in his voice belying the insult. "Don't you know I was going out of my mind, fretting at home, waiting for some word from you? I would have come. I would have come in an instant if only I'd known."
He paused for a moment, feeling the uncertain silence; the words, while true, felt somehow incomplete. He felt his way slowly from one realization to the next. "Back in Seishirou's dungeon, I offered you my blood," he said. "I volunteered, and that's as good as a promise, isn't it? It's as good as an oath. Whatever you need from me, I'll be here for you. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you alive, for as long as you need, for the rest of both our lives if that's what it takes. I so swear on my honor as a samurai."
It was a solemn oath, and an offer that startled him even as he made it; by saying it, he'd made a vow of loyalty equal in strength and obligation to that of his liege lord, Tomoyo. But he couldn't, wouldn't rescind that oath. The decision had been made months ago, in a dark and stinking dungeon slimy with stone; he refused to regret it now.
A dam seemed to break in Fai, and he flung himself forward, grabbing onto Kurogane and holding tight with a desperation that was almost painful. He was shivering as if he were cold; as Kurogane, startled, brought his arms up to wrap around his lover, rubbed awkwardly over the skin to warm him up. "Hey," he murmured. "What's wrong now?"
"I was afraid --" Fai choked out, then his words failed him. But they still rushed between his skin and Kurogane's, back and forth with every beat of his heart. I was afraid you wouldn't come. I was afraid it was too much to ask of you, even you, too much to ask of anyone. I was afraid to ask and have you say no, because if you refuse me then I will die, and more than anything else in the world I was afraid to die alone.
"Idiot mage," Kurogane whispered into his hair, dismay tightening his throat as he began to realize just how close to the edge Fai had come. He didn't understand it, he just didn't understand it; feeling the primal core of terror that Fai had felt, as hunger tightened its grip on him and every day brought him closer to death, how he had still refused to call for help; for that fear of the rejection that would make it all final, slam the last door of hope and make that terror a reality.
"I know," Fai mumbled in a shaky voice, and he gave a weak giggle, interrupted by a hiccup. "So many different words for it. I'm a fool, an idiot, a moron, a --"
"Shut up," Kurogane said, and to make sure Fai did, he kissed him. "You are without doubt an idiot. But at least you're mine."
Fai's arms loosened from their desperate stranglehold, and he eased back a little to meet Kurogane's eyes, his own eye glittering suspiciously in the lamplight. He smiled, a bit tremulously, but at least it was real. "I'm yours," he agreed.
These covers really were incredibly soft, really very comfortable, Kurogane thought as he lay back down against them, pulling Fai down to lie against his skin. Much better quality than the crisp sheets and rough blankets on his futon at home. As long as he was here, he ought to enjoy them.
"Nobody's going to interrupt us in here, are they?" he breathed, his lips only inches from Fai's skin.
He felt the beat of Fai's pulse, his breath quicken and his limbs tighten in response to the question, and its implications. "No..." he said shakily. "They'll leave us alone until we come out."
"Good," Kurogane muttered, and began running his hands over Fai's skin once more.
At first it was just touching, looking and touching, feasting his eyes and hands on the body he'd been missing and dreaming of for months. Fai looked as good as he remembered. Fai looked damn good, skin pale and even and body lean and toned -- although skinnier than he liked, at least it was nothing like the near-skeletal starvation as before. He was happy that Fai had improved so much so quickly; the bloodthirst wasn't at all like other kinds of hunger in that regard, he realized. Like Fai had said, he could go for weeks without food, then be revived in a single night when he was given what his body needed. Which only made it more stupid that he had let it get that far in the first place.
"Kuro-puu?" Fai ventured, responding tentatively to the scowl that briefly tightened Kurogane's features; he closed his own hands around Kurogane's wrist and hand, and smiled hopefully at him.
"I'm done yelling," Kurogane assured him, and he leaned down, kissing Fai's lips, laving the corner of his mouth with his tongue. Fai still had a sharp taste, a little like blood, but it didn't disgust him; it was exciting, even stimulating. "For now, anyway."
Fai laughed, a shaky rush of air as his ribcage heaved. "Good…" he breathed, echoing Kurogane's words. "Hate to spoil the mood…" He reached up and ran an open palm up Kurogane's arm, his palm caressing lovingly over the muscles of Kurogane's biceps and shoulder, then forming into a fist and tugging at his undershirt. "Off?"
"Mm," Kurogane made an agreeing noise. He pushed himself up, holding himself up with his core muscles while he swiftly stripped the shirt and tossed it negligently over the bed. His pants followed, and it was a relief to lose those for more than one reason; they were still itchy and sticky from earlier, and that was not a pleasant feeling to have on a renewed erection. He was beginning to get hard again, despite the earlier feeding; the blood-loss hadn't been as severe as last time, not severe enough to incapacitate him completely, a fact which Kurogane appreciated right now. He growled under his breath as he planted his hands on either side of Fai's chest, and stared down at him, eyes narrowing as he planned his next move.
Fai seemed rather taken aback by his sudden aggression, and his chuckle had a slightly nervous air. "Why, Kuro-pop, so bold," he joked. "Whatever happened to my sweet virgin demon-hunter…?"
"That's definitely in the past, so don't you even think calling me that ever again," Kurogane said brusquely. To tell the truth -- not that he planned to give Fai all the details -- once he'd realized that this was something he'd wanted, there was no way he planned to remain ignorant on the subject. His wasted time in Edo had been of at least some benefit here, in that it had allowed him to study up and find out much more about lovemaking -- specifically between two men -- than he'd ever thought to need before. Fai still had years of experience on him -- there was nothing to be done about that but time -- but Kurogane had no intention of being a passive partner any more.
"I've been thinking about you," he dipped his head to kiss Fai's lips, then trailed down to softly mouth the bone of his jaw; "missing you," a kiss to the line of his throat; "dreaming of you for months now." A gentle bite to the sharply defined bone of his collarbone, he really would have to make sure to feed Fai better. "I'm not going to waste this opportunity."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Fai assured him solemnly, but there was a smile twitching about his lips and a light in his eye. He wrapped his arms around Kurogane's neck, pulling himself off the bed to arch against him and return the kiss. "So what do you want to do first?" he murmured.
"I want… you to fuck me," Kurogane managed to get that sentence out without stuttering, although heat touched his cheeks despite all his determined resolve. He narrowed his eyes in a glare, daring Fai to laugh at him.
Showing uncommon tact, for a change, Fai did not laugh. "Are you sure?" he questioned. "I thought -- I mean, I thought you didn't want to 'be the woman.' And it can be uncomfortable, especially the first time, if you'd rather I…"
"In the first place, I'm not afraid of pain," Kurogane asserted. "In the second place, you're still the one who knows what he's doing. In the third place, it's supposed to feel good, or so they say. Am I wrong about that?" And in the fourth place, Kurogane added silently, you're the one who's been sick, you're the one who looks like you'd snap in half in a stiff breeze. Some guardian he'd be, if he ended up letting Fai get hurt even more due to his inexperience.
Fai's eye narrowed, as though he'd caught some of that last thought, but he didn't immediately retaliate, so Kurogane was pretty sure he was still safe.
"No, it is," Fai agreed. A frown wrinkled his face. "I just -- that is -- there are other things we can do, you know. It's not like there's only one right way to enjoy each other, no matter who's on top or who's on bottom. I just don't want you to --"
"Can we please just decide what we're going to do and then do it?" Kurogane interrupted him. He grabbed Fai's hand and pulled it up against him, the other man's eye going wide as he felt the throbbing hardness there. Just that contact sent a thrill up Kurogane's spine, and renewed his determination. "Really."
Fai expelled a breath on a shaky laugh, and his hand curled around the length of Kurogane's erection, giving it a slow, soft stroke that made Kurogane's toes curl. "If you're so determined, who am I to argue?" he asked, rather hypocritically since he'd been the only one arguing. He arched his back, lifting his head far enough off the pillow to give Kurogane a kiss. "Turn over."
Several moments of shifting around, each brush of skin feeling like fire, and Kurogane was up on his knees with his arms cross in front of him, surveying the pattern of embroidery on the pillows with great attention. Fai knelt behind him, warm hands smoothing over his ass and flanks, dropping light kisses on the end of his spine.
When Fai's fingers first penetrated, warm and slick with oil, Kurogane stiffened, then forced himself to relax. Pain was not the issue; Kurogane's pain tolerance was much higher than this, which was barely uncomfortable -- even pleasant, in a strange unexpected way. But it was… just new, and embarrassing, and frighteningly intimate. Still, he trusted Fai. He'd always trusted Fai, even when he should have known better.
He knew that. So why did he feel so…
Abruptly Kurogane pulled his attention away from the insistent demands of his pleasure-washed body, yanked those emotions into the forefront where he could examine them more closely. Anxiety; fearfulness; the desire to please, the fear that he would disappoint… these weren't his emotions at all! It was the damn blood bond, messing with his head again. Which meant that Fai was…
He sighed, and shifted position, unfolding his arms and shifting over onto his side so that he could look at Fai's face. "Hey," he said. "It's just me, you know."
Fai froze, his eye going wide like he was about to bolt. "What?" he said breathlessly. " -- is something wrong?"
"It's just us," Kurogane said, pausing to try to choose his words, uncertain what was the right thing to say. "You don't need to worry so much… about whether I'm having a good time, or whatever. You can't hurt me."
Fai slowly relaxed, and gave a weak laugh. "I guess I'm just having a moment of stage fright," he said. "Don't mind me."
Kurogane sat up, reaching out and grabbing Fai's shoulder and pulling him closer. "Enough of this," he said. "If I can tell how upset you are, then you ought to be able to tell that right now, I really, really want you to fuck me."
Fai didn't respond in words; he kissed Kurogane again, on the mouth, on the jaw, his lips and tongue trailing down Kurogane's throat and leaving a warm trail of saliva drying on his chest. Fai really had something of an oral fetish, Kurogane thought irrelevantly. Kissing in and of itself was not something the warrior had ever had much interest in, but he liked it because Fai did.
Fai shifted lower, and Kurogane held his breath, thighs quivering as Fai settled between his legs and bent his head to take in Kurogane's cock. Oh fuck, he'd been dreaming about this exact position for months -- ever since their first too-brief encounter on the cold mountainside he'd wanted more of this, lain awake and alone in frustration in his room back at Edo. Dreams of feeling Fai's hot, wet mouth on his cock, of being able to look down and see that blond head bobbing between his thighs… his hands fisted in the covers, and he groaned, his hips jerking in little arcs as he fought the instinct to thrust.
He felt Fai's lips curving in a smile around his cock, and then the fingers were back, pressing into him with that odd mix of discomfort and pleasure. Kurogane was a fast learner, and he was already plotting about using these same lessons later on Fai's own body. If this was what it was like, being on the bottom, then he supposed it wasn't all so bad, although it was nothing like great as the blowjob Fai was giving him…
An arc of pleasure bolted up Kurogane's spine, and his body seized and jerked, a strangled half-cry ripping its way out of his throat. Fai lifted his head, and at least he didn't laugh at Kurogane's reaction, or he really would have had to kill him. " -- the fuck was that?" he wheezed after a moment.
"The reason, Kuro-tan, why they say it's really good…" Fai murmured, shifting position to his own knees as he lifted Kurogane's legs over his shoulder, spreading his legs wider. "It gets better."
"Show me," Kurogane taunted him, voice vibrating with the intensity of his feeling. "Now."
Fai pressed forward, and Kurogane gasped as the slight discomfort stretched into an aching burn; but he didn't care, he really didn't, now that he could feel Fai's cock inside him. It felt right, to be joined this way, to be part of each other's bodies like they'd already been part of each other's minds. The blood bond made a feedback loop between them; he could feel a faint shadow of what Fai felt, pulsing with each beat of his heart. Fai groaned, and pushed his own hips forward as he began to move.
Soon Kurogane was rising to meet him, quickly picking up the hang of the right way to move. It was a dance between them, Fai's smaller, lighter frame -- always surprising in the strength contained within that wiry body -- and his own moving together, rocking waves of pleasure that built every time in intensity. Beads of sweat pooled off Fai's forehead and chest and rolled off him, dripping down to pool on Kurogane's body; he could smell sweat, and musk, and dust, and the strange tang that was Fai's body scent now that he was part vampire, and he was drowning in the heat and scent and sensation.
Fai finished first, snapping forward and arching his spine with a strangled cry. The wash of pleasure had Kurogane thrumming with tension, stretched to an unbearable breaking point; with a half-breathed curse he grabbed his own hand around Fai's on his erection, and stroked together in a frenzy until his own orgasm overtook him. It was the second time that day, but no less intense for that, and he clutched Fai's body brutally hard against his own until his muscles stopped twitching.
"So what do you think," Fai asked breathlessly, as they both lay trying to recover, their hearts slowing and breath evening out. He slipped out of Kurogane's body and wriggled up beside him, flopping half on him and half on the covers. "Good?"
"Don't ask stupid questions. You know it was," Kurogane grumbled contentedly, resting his chin against the top of Fai's blond hair.
A nagging thought wanted to intrude on his bliss, a reminder that he hadn't just come here to have make-up sex with Fai, no matter how fantastic. Two countries out there were threatening to slide into war, and relying on him -- somehow -- to stop it. And although he knew Fai was a staunch ally, he didn't really know how much the wizard would be able to do.
Later, he'd worry about the consequences of this, and decide what he was going to do next. Later.
~to be continued...