The Wizards of Ceres: 12
Title: The Wizards of Ceres, chapter 12 - Old Wounds
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Kurogane meets the princess of Ceres, and learns the terrible truth about Fai's past.
Part 1 - Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV - Chapter V
Part 2 - Chapter VI - Chapter VII - Chapter VIII - Chapter IX - Chapter X
Part 3 - Chapter XI - Chapter XII - Side Story: The Prince of Valeria - Chapter XIII - Chapter XIV
Part 4 - Chapter XV - Chapter XVI - Chapter XVII - Chapter XVIII - Chapter XIX - Chapter XX
Someone was calling him from close by; someone whose commands he could not ignore. "Fai," Ashura's voice came to him, gentle but inexorable. "Wake up now, Fai."
Struggling to obey, he opened his eyes and blinked against the warm brightness. Yellow lamplight against white walls; warm blankets and sheets around him. He was home, and therefore safe; he could feel a deep, aching exhaustion trying to pull him back into unconsciousness, but the crushing weight that he had spent so long fighting against was gone. He was safe.
He was safe, but what about -- memory returned to him all at once, he looked frantically around the room, searching for Kurogane. He hadn't counted on being incapacitated or unconscious for his homecoming, and thus unable to mediate between Kurogane and Ashura. For a moment he feared the worst, and could barely stutter out "Where is K -- where is my -- my friend? Is he -- did you -- ?"
"He is elsewhere in the palace, and unharmed," Ashura assured him, and Fai nearly melted with relief into the mattress until Ashura continued; "For now. At least until we can determine what his status shall be."
He still had a chance, then. Fai took a deep breath, and tried to muster his most eloquent arguments. "Your Majesty, please spare him," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "For all that he is a soldier of Nihon, he has never done us any harm, never meant us any harm. He is not our enemy, and he is powerful, he could be a powerful ally if we could ever convince him to our cause. At the very least, we should try, couldn't we try? To kill him would be wasteful, and a terrible injustice -- I could never... he has never... he has never harmed us, it isn't right..."
When Fai ran down, catching his breath, Ashura raised a hand for silence. "Very well," he said. "Since the prospect of this man's death has driven you to such distraction, then I will grant you the favor you ask for. I hereby rescind my command for the demon-hunter's death. On the condition that he agrees to cooperate and do no harm to Ceres, he will remain in Ruval under my personal protection. None in this country shall harm him."
Fai shut his eyes, relief coursing through him, and let out a breath that felt like he'd been holding it in for weeks. His shoulders slumped as though a thousand-pound weight had been removed, and he murmured, "Thank you. Thank you, my lord..."
But Ashura wasn't finished. "It deeply disappoints me, Fai, that things should come to this," he said, and Fai shuddered from his disapproval. "Much as I love you, the needs of our country are great, and you, it seems, are weaker and more fickle than I had thought. I am forced to wonder if you can truly be trusted to stand at my side, direct my troops and carry out my commands, in the days ahead. Are you still trustworthy, Fai?"
Fai's eyes flared open again, agony twisting inside his chest. "Your Majesty, please. I have never disobeyed you before, I swear that I never will again! Give me a chance to prove myself to you. Please..."
Ashura looked down on Fai, his expression serene and thoughtful. "Perhaps," he said. "Yes, I will give you another chance. If you serve me well in the days ahead, then my trust in you will be restored."
"However," he added after a moment, his voice going stern once more, "I do not want you to encounter or speak with that man again. I think I will leave the geas intact, at least until such time as your powers are needed again. You can do without them in the meantime, and perhaps the marking will serve as... a reminder."
Fai flinched again, and bowed his head, not meeting Ashura's eyes. It was a humiliating reminder of his disappointment to Ashura to be so hobbled, limited to only the simplest of spells. But it was no more than he deserved, for his disobedience, and he knew it. "Yes, my lord," he whispered.
"Rest now, Fai. You must regain your strength, if you are to do your duties by me," Ashura told him, with a gentleness in his voice that spoke of a love that Fai had never earned, could never be worthy of, and that heartache followed him back down into the darkness.
***
They gave Kurogane his own chamber in the palace, small and plain but adequately furnished with comforts; it was certainly no prison cell. They took away his armor but gave him clothes, fur-lined and belted in the style of Ceres. He was grateful for the warmth, but he was sure he looked ridiculous in them, especially since they were a size or two too small and several inches of wrist and ankle stuck out from the ends of the sleeves.
A servant brought meals to his chamber twice a day, and spoke at least enough basic nihongo that after three days of this Kurogane was able to track Ashura down in the library and confront him.
The king was seated at a stone-topped table, a book open before him and a quill and parchment ready at his right hand. He raised his head when Kurogane burst in, trailed by his keeper-guard; and if he didn't look particularly pleased by Kurogane's presence, he didn't look surprised, either.
"Why are you doing all this?" Kurogane said without preamble. "Why go to all this trouble? You wanted me dead; why not just kill me now?"
The king smiled slightly. "Why, because you care so much for Fai, of course. How could I deny charity to someone who shares an object of affection with me?"
"Bullshit," Kurogane said strongly. "What's the real reason?"
The king's smile grew slightly edged, but seemed much more real. "The true reason? Because Fai cares about you."
Kurogane stopped and thought about it. That sounded almost sincere, but it still didn't add up. "His caring about me didn't stop you from sending him out to kill me before," he growled.
"Yes, indeed," Ashura said, rubbed his eyes with one hand and sighed. "An error in judgment on my part, which caused him much unnecessary distress, and a terrible strain on his loyalty which nearly lost me one of my strongest weapons."
"Is that how you see Fai? As some tool to use and throw away?" Kurogane challenged.
Ashura shrugged, and spread his hands in a what-would-you-have-of-me gesture. "Son of my heart, heir to my throne, minister of my court, betrothed to my daughter, lieutenant in my wars, weapon in my arsenal... he's all these things to me, in turns. And yes, my most powerful tool, as well, my best weapon."
"So what do you need me for, if you know he's so loyal to you?" Kurogane demanded with exasperation. "If we're all the best of friends here, why don't you just let me leave?"
Ashura smiled again, and icy light seemed to flicker in his eyes. "Now, I couldn't allow one of my guests to venture out into such a dangerous climate," he said. "You could be hurt."
"I didn't plan to try to winter in Ceres," Kurogane said. "I meant go home to Nihon."
"Yes," Ashura said calmly. "Which is going to be a terribly unsafe place before long."
Kurogane stared, the hair beginning to stand up on the back of his neck; but Ashura continued imperturbably, "It's best for everyone if you stay our honored guest here," he said. "That way, Fai won't be troubled by the thoughts of you in some peril or danger out there, and he will no longer be inspired to any kind of... disloyal acts, knowing that you are safe and secure in my hands."
Something seemed to click over at last in Kurogane's head. "And he also knows that if he does step a foot out of line, you've got me to hold against him," he snarled. "You bastard."
"My dear Lord of Suwa. How did you get to be so cynical at such a young age?" Ashura said in a tone of mild surprise. "I'm only looking out for everyone's well-being; yours, mine, and Fai's as well."
"Why won't you let me see him?" Kurogane said finally. Straightforward and honest questions seemed to be the best way to get results from Ashura; which was just as well, as Kurogane was not good at roundabout word games or deceptions.
Ashura looked at him, his regard steady. "Because I was not sure I trusted you around him," he said equally candidly, "or him around you."
Of course, that didn't mean that he'd get results that he'd like. He ground his teeth in frustration, but Ashura had sensed blood and was moving in for the kill. "Why do you want to see him so badly?" he countered. "Your stated reason for coming to Ceres was to face me."
Kurogane sighed, and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He didn't like talking about this so openly, but Ashura was far too perceptive; it wasn't like hiding his motives was doing either of them a damn bit of good. "I'm worried about him," he said quietly. "He was hurt. I want to make sure he's doing well."
Ashura gave him a cool look. "I assure you, Lord Suwa, that our doctors are more than competent. Certainly, they are more competent to look after his injuries than you."
"It's not his injuries that I'm worried about," Kurogane said. "At least, not his physical ones."
For the first time, Ashura hesitated. "What do you mean?" he said finally, and his voice betrayed a hint of uncertainty.
It almost made Kurogane feel like they were allies, in this strange battlefield; they might be from enemy nations, but in this they could find common ground. "I traveled with the mage for almost a month," he said finally, "and I know he's no coward. He faced down deadly danger any number of times, fought against a force of brigands that outnumbered us ten to one -- watched my back against a demon, and I know exactly what kind of courage that takes. But when we were in the tunnel, he was scared out of his mind, scared in a way no rational person should possibly be. And when we were trapped under the stone..."
He trailed off, trying to find a way to express his worries, to make his own fears seem rational. "He wasn't all there all the time, it was like he forgot where he was, who I was. It was like he forgot who he was, and he talked to himself... a lot. I know he was hit on the head, and I know that can do strange things to a man's mind, break things in funny little ways that can never be repaired." Ashura was listening in a way that made Kurogane sure for the first time that he had all the man's attention; he covered his mouth with his hand and stared at Kurogane intently with sharp gray eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of, that he's lost inside his mind, and can't find his way back."
Ashura leaned across the table towards him, his grey eyes intent, a concerned crease between his brows. "You said he talked to himself," he said. "What do you mean by that?"
Kurogane was confused by the question; didn't he mean exactly what he said? Maybe Ashura just didn't know that phrase. "I mean... he talked to himself as though he thought he were a completely separate person," he tried. "He'd answer my questions, but as though he were hearing a completely different conversation."
"What exactly did he say?" Ashura asked sharply.
"He'd say things like 'Don't be afraid, Fai,' or 'You aren't alone, Fai, I'm with you.' " It made him uncomfortable to repeat the mage's delirious rambling, like he was giving away his secrets; but it seemed to mean something to Ashura.
Ashura sighed, a deep and rich sound, and buried his face in his two hands. It made him look suddenly ten years older, with those penetrating eyes hooded, and much more human. "Oh, my poor boy," he said, voice muffled. After a moment, he raised his head again and regarded Kurogane, rather sadly. "You have nothing to fear, Lord Kurogane," he said. "He has not lost touch with reality. Quite the reverse, in fact... At any rate, he is no less sane than he has ever been."
Kurogane tensed. He didn't like the sound of that. "I don't understand," he said.
Ashura waved his hand in impatient dismissal. "You don't need to understand," he said. "He'll be all right."
Kurogane's hand tightened on the edge of the desk, hard enough that the metal edge creaked. "I need to understand," he said, voice vibrating with intensity.
Ashura looked at him for a long moment, gaze flickering to the abused edge of the desk in his hands, but finally nodded. "Yes. I think perhaps I'd better explain to you. You have the need, and I believe you have earned the right." The king gestured to one of the delicate chairs that graced the library -- metal-framed, as everything in this kingdom seemed to be. Kurogane eyed it warily, but it took his weight well enough.
Ashura began. "Although I consider him my own, Fai is not originally from Ceres. He is of Valeria."
"Valeria?" Kurogane's head came up, startled. He didn't pay much attention to politics, but he was familiar with that name. "You mean he was from Valeria? Wait -- isn't that the country that you guys went out and conquered, what, thirty-five years ago? And to think that you complain that we're conquistadors," he added somewhat bitterly.
Ashura smiled dryly. "Perhaps. But there are some differences. It began when we received a most unusual letter, delivered by a messenger half-dead from exhaustion and injuries, signed by most of the high-ranking noble families of Valeria. The letter was addressed to all the heads of sovereign nations surrounding Valeria, begging for intervention and aid, in any form. We did not invade Valeria. We were invited."
Kurogane snorted. Like he hadn't heard that story before. The histories of Nihon were filled with similar declarations, about how this or that outlying province was undyingly grateful to have been brought under the enlightened rule of the Empire and share in its prosperity.
Ashura shrugged. "I can show you the original letter, still sealed in our archives. Although I suppose you have no reason not to think it a forgery. But it's true. You see, the king of Valeria was mad.
"There is intrigue and conflict in every kingdom, I suppose, between the central appointed authority of the crown and that of the nobles who manage the land. But the then king of Valeria, through whatever disease or curse or heredity, was truly insane. He had progressed from ordering mass arrest and imprisonment of those he thought were plotting against him -- or had insulted him -- or failed to show sufficient proof of loyalty -- to simply sending out his troops to murder them on the spot. Men, women, children and all. Entire villages were disappearing off the map of Valeria overnight. The high court was desperate, terrorized, when they were driven to sign and send out that missive. I am surprised a copy of it never made it to Nihon; perhaps the messenger was caught and killed along the way. History might have turned out quite differently if they had reached you first.
"It is the wrong word perhaps to say that we conquered Valeria. When I went there -- led my army there -- " Ashura's eyes had gone very distant, and Kurogane was led to wonder anew at his age. He didn't look much older than thirty, no lines on his face or grey in his hair, but those eyes were far older than that. It bothered Kurogane that he couldn't remember, off-hand, how many years the present King of Ceres had ruled.
"Except for some last-ditch defenses from the border guards, who were confused and frightened but, I supposed, carrying out their duty in the only way they knew how... we met no resistance on our ride to the court. There was no one left who could resist us, or would. Those who survived were hiding in their homes, or some even in the wilderness, in the rocks and rime. Some threw rocks, or screamed insults; some came out to throw themselves at our feet and beg for mercy. But none of them fought us, no.
"When we reached the court..." The years-distant look in Ashura's expression intensified. It was as though he wasn't seeing Kurogane, or this little chamber, at all. "The gates were locked, but there was no one to defend them. We broke down the gates and rode in, myself and my guard, ready for... anything, we thought, but we met no one. No one alive. We passed through the receiving chambers, through the banquet hall... the old king believed, you see, that if he ate the flesh of those he killed, then their powers would increase his, and make him ever more powerful."
Breakfast was becoming a regret in Kurogane's stomach. He swallowed hard, but didn't interrupt.
"The servants were slaughtered or fled, the nobles missing. Even the royal family had not been spared. The king's half-brother, his male cousins, would of course have been a threat to him; their bodies had been on display for some time before we arrived. We found the queen's body, in the end, broken on the courtyard stones. It was... not entirely clear from the evidence, whether she had jumped from the tower in her last despair, or if she had been pushed.
"It was underground that we at last found people in that castle alive. The jailers were still alive, though we didn't bother to keep them so. Some of the high court were still there, even, locked in cells awaiting their turn at the kitchens. Further down we found even some older prisoners, from much earlier in the king's reign, mercifully forgotten perhaps. And... we also found one cell, more of an oubliette than a proper prison, no light from the outside, no higher," -- he made a gesture with his hand, indicating height -- "than my waist. Even they could not stand up in such a cell."
"They?" Kurogane hazarded, when Ashura did not immediately continue his story.
"The king's young children, the missing heirs to the throne. The twin princes of Valeria, Fai and Yuui of Valeria."
"What?" Kurogane came bolt upright with the exclamation. "Crown prince of -- wait a minute, twins? Fai has a brother?"
Ashura shook his head, slowly. "We found the two of them, in that pit. One alive. One dead. It was hard to tell, from the condition of the cell, how long they had been there. Maybe months, maybe years. But Prince Fai had obviously died only recently -- more than one week, but less than two. Starved to death, by all indications."
Kurogane's head jerked up, gaze locking with Ashura's. "Prince Fai? Don't you mean -- the other one -- Yuui? Because Fai isn't --" Gruesome visions of necromancy danced through his head, and he shook his head helplessly; he didn't understand this.
"No," Ashura said calmly. "I said what I meant. Little Fai was dead; his twin brother, Yuui, was still alive. We took him back to Ceres... I had decided, you see, to raise him as my own since he had no living family remaining. But it took him quite a long time to learn to do things again. To stand straight again, to walk, to meet people's eyes. To speak..."
Ashura trailed off, and for a moment he seemed years away, lost in memories of another time. He shook his head, and seemed to come back to himself. "When he did finally speak, he told us that Yuui of Valeria was dead, and from then on he would be Fai, Fai Flowright of Ceres."
"So when he was talking to 'Fai'... under the ruins, I mean..." Kurogane said slowly. "He wasn't talking to himself, exactly. He was talking to the first Fai, his brother..."
"Yes. Most likely the surroundings reminded him... rather sharply of his childhood, and put him in mind of his lost brother again."
Kurogane sat stunned, trying to reconcile this story with the Fai he knew -- careless and flighty, always finding something new to laugh at, always friendly. No wonder the mage had looked at him like he had two heads when he asked if Fai had loved his parents. Fai had never had parents, just worthless wastes of flesh, royal or not -- and that was another thing he couldn't believe, a prince --
Ashura held up one hand, commanding Kurogane's attention again. "Do keep in mind, this is not something that Fai talks about. To anyone. I'm not entirely certain how much of it he remembers, or how clearly... and how much he has allowed himself to forget. I only told you so that you could understand about his brother, and to some extent why he is... the way he is."
Kurogane opened his mouth, then closed it again. He'd begun asking questions in this audience with the worry that Fai was insane, or had been driven so. The new information he'd learned, while in some ways appeasing that worry, only served to open up more questions. "So he really is -- was -- is the heir to the throne of Valeria," he said, tasting the amazement in his voice, and then shook his head. "Why do you keep him here, then? Why not set him up as king in Valeria, puppet-king if that's what you really wanted? Do you like the idea of keeping another country's royalty under your eye, in servitude to you?"
His voice was challenging, but the king did not rise to the bait. "For many reasons," he said, "some of them having to do with me, some having to do with Fai, and some having to do with Valeria itself. How much do you know about the country of Valeria, and its people?"
"Not much. They're a tiny country way up in the mountains. Backwards." Of course, they said the same things about Ceres, in Edo.
"Backwards is an apt description. The people of Valeria are very superstitious, the nobles no less so in the peasants. It is still said, among -- " Ashura hesitated, then went on, " -- certain segments of the population, that it was the birth of royal twins that cursed the king, sent him into madness in the first place. And as conditions grew worse in Valeria, the twins were blamed."
Kurogane stared in disbelief. "But they were just children!"
"In Valeria, twins are held to be a bad omen, and the higher their rank, the worse the luck they are supposed to bring. The traditional ritual for disposing of twins is -- well, that doesn't matter now." Ashura grimaced, like there was a bad taste in his mouth.
"Even among those who don't believe in the old legends, who don't believe in the curse of the twins... the old king was widely hated, as you can imagine. Any blood relatives of his would be... not welcomed back, not to Valeria, and especially not to the throne. He finds it easier to avoid his home country entirely, and be only Fai of Ceres."
Kurogane pushed himself off the chair, which scraped back with a teeth-grinding noise, and began to pace. He couldn't keep still, not with this feeling, slow black rage like molasses boiling up around the cracks in his self-control. More than anything, he wanted something he could hit, some target he could lash out at... "What about the king?" he asked abruptly. It was probably too much to hope that he'd still be alive for righteous vengeance thirty years after the fact, but he had to ask.
Ashura's eyebrow rose slightly, but he answered, "We found him in his throne room -- on his throne, in fact -- with a blade in his belly. He was still alive when we found him, but he didn't survive for long, and he said nothing of sense in the hours before he died. Quite, quite mad."
"Suicide?" Kurogane inquired hopefully. Harikiri was considered a final way to atone for lost honor, in Nihon; and while he didn't think a simple belly-slitting would possibly make up for a life like his, it was a step in the right direction.
"Possibly. It was his blade, anyway."
Kurogane frowned, and kept pacing. Something still didn't add up quite right, here. Ashura watched him, bemused, but made no move to end the audience. Emboldened, Kurogane went on, "Here's what I don't understand. The old bastard was ax crazy, I get that. And he locked up or killed off most of his court, and terrorized and killed the peasantry. Fine. But if he killed everyone around him who could have supported him, then who was carrying out his orders? One man by himself, even a king, can't personally kill half a country. You said that when you invaded, you didn't even find an army left to fight. So who was doing it?"
Ashura sat back, folding his hands on the table, and looked at Kurogane with a new interest. "An incisive question. I can only tell you what I saw, and no, we encountered no army, not even a city guard. But when asked about it, the surviving court nobles -- and those of the peasants who overcame their terror enough to speak out -- talked about the king's devoted corps of men, who wore black and never showed their faces. They supposedly started showing up several years before, just as the king was going over the edge into madness, and as the army and regular guards became less and less, there were more and more of them."
"They had to have been local Valerians, though, right? Personally sworn to the king?" If there had been that many, then surely there were still some left, even after all this time.
Ashura shrugged, spreading his long, elegant hands. "No single person we talked to ever claimed to know who a single one of them was. Covered faces or no, there should have been at least some parent -- friend -- brother -- but no. They seemed to be complete outsiders. Even the crest they wore was not the King's personal seal."
"What was it, then?" Kurogane said.
"As I said, we never saw any of these special guards. Whether they existed at all or not, there was no sign of them when we entered the scene -- not alive, not a dead body, not even part of a garment. But the people who remembered seeing them talked very passionately about 'the black bat who brings death.' "
Kurogane stopped in mid-circuit.
"Black bat?" he said after a long time, voice very calm and remote. "On a yellow background?"
Ashura regarded him with mild surprise. "Why, yes. How did you know that?"
"I've encountered it before," Kurogane said, still in that flat-level voice. "Excuse me. I have to go now."
"Very well," Ashura said after a bemused silence. "Yukito will escort you back to your chambers."
They walked in silence, for the first part, Kurogane's brain seething so hard that he barely saw the serene beauty of the palace halls. The black bat -- the black bat crest that had been on the sword, on the arm of the figure that had murdered his mother, that had destroyed Suwa? No, surely it couldn't be the same one. Oh yeah? Why not? How many magically appearing-disappearing, murdering bat-wielders are out there? Who says it can't be the same one?
The fall of Valeria had been more than thirty years ago... the fall of Suwa had been barely ten years ago. Could the same man still be alive and active after all this time? He could if he were a wizard. What was it... what was it that Fai had said, about some type of magic that no sane men dared to try? Portals, which could cross the distance between one place and another in a blink of an eye? A portal that could admit a man, or a whole squad of men, could also admit just an arm and a sword, couldn't it?
One thing was for sure: the methods might have been different in each case, but the effects were very much the same. A country destroyed, its people slaughtered... survivors left terrorized, lives ruined...
Abruptly he turned to Yukito, startling the pale man into taking a step back. "Take me to the wizard."
Yukito blinked at him, baffled. "What -- which one?"
"To Fai! To the damn idiot, that's who!" Kurogane snarled, irrationally annoyed at having to say his name. "I want to see him. I have to see him."
Yukito gave him a very long and solemn look, his pale amber eyes half-hidden behind the glass spectacles, but then he nodded, and changed direction.
***
Yukito took him to another wing of the palace; he'd been this far once, but the guards stationed at the end of the hallway had turned him back. Now Yukito said something to them in the native Ceres tongue, and they reluctantly stood aside for him.
There were more guards outside of Fai's rooms, and one stationed inside the room as well, but Kurogane had expected that, and he was getting almost as good at ignoring the presence of guards in Ceres as he was at ignoring them in Shirasagi Castle. What he hadn't expected to find in Fai's room, though, was a teenaged girl sitting beside his bed, laying a cold compress on his forehead.
She looked up and saw him, and eyes the vivid green of a summer field widened as she squeaked in surprise and shrank back. "Oh, relax!" Kurogane snapped, and tried his best to make his body language non-threatening. "I promise, I don't eat little girls."
"S-sorry." She relaxed, seemed to remember her manners, and smiled hesitantly up at him. "I - um - I don't think we've met before?"
"Kurogane," he introduced himself. After a moment of hesitation, he went around to the other side of the bed and pulled up another seat, so he wouldn't loom over her quite so badly. She was a tiny thing -- skinny-limbed and no taller than his waist. He did his best to smile at her, put her at ease. "Kurogane of Suwa. I just came to visit the w - Fai."
She reminded him a little bit of Tomoyo when she had been this age, although even as a teenager Tomoyo had been grave and dignified, solemn with the weight of responsibility. This girl was all flutters, caught in the coltish awkwardness of adolescence; her frame had begun to grow, but not filled out yet, and her arms and legs were skinny. Her clothes were bright-colored jewel tones, topped with delicate scarves that fluttered as she moved, and an intricately engraved silver headband kept her ginger-colored hair out of her face. She was too young and awkward to be called pretty, but when she smiled, it lit up her whole face.
"I'm sorry he's not awake right now," she said, her smile firming in return to his, and she held out one delicate hand for him to shake. "The doctor gave him a potion to make him sleep, you see. But it's so kind of you to come, anyway. I'm Sakura."
He gazed at Fai, trying to hide his disappointment -- at least Fai seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his breathing deep and even, some color restored to his skin. He was just trying to place the faint association the name made in his mind, when she added offhandedly, "King Ashura is my father."
Kurogane stared at her in astonishment. This was Princess Sakura, Fai's betrothed? "But you're just a child!" he exclaimed despite himself.
"I'm not a child, I'm fourteen!" she said indignantly, glaring at him -- the effect was rather unconvincing, like a kitten trying to intimidate a bulldog.
If she was fourteen, then that meant that Fai was old enough to be her father, almost her grandfather! He knew that the nobility was different when it came to marriages, the royalty even more so -- but that was just ridiculous. He'd been prepared, subconsciously, to dislike Fai's fiancee, but was quite willing enough to transfer his resentment to King Ashura, for pushing such a match on her so young.
She was studying him curiously. "Suwa, isn't that a place in Nihon?" she said, yanking his attention back. "Does that mean you're from Nihon? I wasn't sure at first, because of your eyes -- I thought all Nihon people had black eyes."
"Yes, I'm from Nihon," Kurogane growled wearily; not like he hadn't had people commenting on his unusual, unnatural looks all his life. At least there seemed to be one person in this country who hadn't already been briefed on his identity and his status as a prisoner.
"Oh! I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I think they're very nice eyes, I just didn't know what to expect!" Sakura blushed slightly, covering her mouth with her hands. "Anyway, if you're from Nihon, what are you doing here? Are you an ambassador from Shirasagi Castle?" She eyed him with a new interest.
"No," Kurogane said, somewhat impressed by her knowledge of the outside world, for her age. "I was traveling with the -- with Fai. I came up with him before the pass collapsed."
"So you're Fai's friend!" Sakura's face lit up with that smile again, and the look she gave him made it clear that as far as she was concerned, that made them practically family. "I'm so glad to meet you! I've never had a chance to meet anyone from Nihon before. I've been practicing nihongo with the other people from the court, but I've never had a chance to talk with a native speaker before. If I say something wrong, you have to tell me right away, okay Kurogane-san?" she added earnestly.
"Okay," Kurogane said, somewhat stunned by her enthusiasm. This had to be the first person he'd met in Ceres -- including Fai -- who didn't speak of his home country with a buried resentment and hostility. "But I don't think so, you speak it very well for someone who's never been there."
"I wish I could go there, someday." Her expression turned wistful. "What's it like? Really?"
Kurogane sat in silence. He had no idea how to begin, and he was too painfully aware of the other ears listening - Yukito, pale in the shadows, and the guard, who probably couldn't even understand what they were saying. He was no poet, no man of words. How could he tell her about the endless rows of carefully measured fields, blossoming over with rice and barley plants, shining so vivid a green in the summer sunshine that they seemed to glow with a light of their own? How could he show her the towns and villages, the wooden beams of the houses a dark weathered brown with age, plaster walls with paper charms and tiny glass chimes tinkling in the wind? How could he describe for her Shirasagi Castle, the dark glistening surface of the moat stirring with koi underneath, the stone walls towering above them under the graceful oak beams and black slate tiles of the roof? How could he make her see his home as he saw it, with these unfriendly ears listening in?
"It's a lot different from Ceres," he said lamely, well aware that this wasn't nearly enough. "It's... more spread out. More green."
She nodded eagerly, and her eyes dropped to the sleeping man on the bed. "Fai told me it's like spring and summer all year round, down there," she said, sounding envious. "There are always flowers blooming, and the trees never fully lose their leaves."
"That's not true," he objected. "We have winter, and snow and ice, too. It just -- it doesn't last as long, that's all. And it doesn't get quite as cold."
"It's not the same winter," Sakura said, her voice quiet, but certain. "Winter in the mountains lasts more than half the year. It's..." She bit her lip, and her green eyes turned dark. "It's awful, for the people up here. They have so little -- it's so hard for them, to grow all the food they need, and then they have to tithe to the castle, too..."
She looked upset, almost teary, and Kurogane shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Fai had talked about the famine situation in Ceres as well, but he'd been angry at the time, and it was easy to dismiss it as someone else's problem. Facing an upset little girl was another thing entirely. "It's their duty as subjects, to supply their king," he said gruffly.
Sakura nodded, looking miserable. "Fai-niisan says I must eat, because they need a strong and healthy future leader more than they need one little girl's worth of food. But it's still... I feel so terrible. I just wish there was some way I could help them." She sighed.
Kurogane did a double-take. The word the princess had used for Fai meant 'brother,' but it was not inappropriate for a young girl to use the same word to address an unrelated older man of whom she was fond. What was inappropriate, however, was using the same word to describe a man you were going to marry.
"Brother?" he said carefully. "I didn't think you were related." In fact, he didn't see how they could be.
The princess made a face. "Oh... well, we aren't, not actually," she said. "He's only my foster brother, really, because Father raised him. But he's always been like a brother to me. Ever since I was little he's always looked out for me, watched over me... played games with me, taught me things, and cheered me up when I was sad." Her green eyes softened, and she smiled down at the man in the bed with tender affection.
Kurogane rubbed his face. "And you don't think it's at all weird that you're supposed to marry the man who changed your diapers when you were little?" he said sharply.
Her face fell, and Kurogane immediately regretted his question. She looked down and bit her lip, still cradling Fai's hand in her lap. After a moment she said, in a voice scarcely louder than a whisper, "Father says... it's the best match for me. Because of who he is, his blood rank is equal to my own. It will help unite our two countries, he says. And... and..."
She looked up at him, and her eyes were filled with uncertainty and a tinge of fear.
"And I know he'll never raise a hand to harm me," she said, "because I know he does care for me, and I -- I don't mind spending the rest of my life with him, I love him. What more could I ask for in a marriage?"
Kurogane didn't know what to say to that, so he looked away, breaking eye contact. He couldn't understand what it was like to be in her position, not really -- to have so little control over your own life that you knew, someday, you might be bartered off to a total stranger. Royals. Gods, how were they not all insane?
His gaze fell on Fai, so dead to the world that none of their conversation had roused him. He wished Fai was awake, but at the same time, it was a relief that he wasn't; he had no idea what to say to him. How to say what was seething in his mind. Hello, wizard, it's nice to see you again, oh and I hear that your brother was murdered forty years ago? By the way, I talked to Ashura today, and he violated your privacy and told me all of your most painful secrets? Sorry that your parents were a pair of worthless scumbags? Sorry to hear that your childhood was raped and taken away from you?
What it all came down to in the end was that he didn't know this man sleeping on the bed in front of him. He didn't know him at all. The happy Fai that he knew was just a shell, an illusion. And that hurt, a lot.
"He never told me," Kurogane said. "He never told me that he was engaged... or that had a little sister."
Sakura bit her lip. "Well... he couldn't have, really, not even if he wanted to."
"Why not?"
"Nobody's allowed to tell any outsiders about me," Sakura said. "It's a law. Father says it's to protect me." A hint of reservations in her voice said that she had her own doubts about that edict, but not openly.
But the royal politics of Ceres didn't concern Kurogane. Or they shouldn't, but... Kurogane moved around, stared down at the sleeping face. "He never told me a lot of things," he said, quietly. "He never told me he was the King's son. He never told me he was the senior wizard of Ceres. He let me assume that he was -- that I was -- " he broke off, struggling to articulate the betrayal he felt.
Fai had never lied, no, he'd never directly lied, but he'd implied that he was of lower status, just a normal everyday person -- well, and a wizard. He'd led Kurogane to believe that the two of them were equals; but they weren't.
"Maybe he was afraid to tell you?" Sakura suggested tentatively.
"Why would he be afraid of me?" Kurogane said, offended and angered by the suggestion. He thought of Yukito's words, in the receiving hall the first night they'd come in. "Was he afraid that I would try to take him hostage or hurt him, if I found out who he was? Did he think I was that kind of scum?"
"Maybe he was afraid that if you knew who he was, you wouldn't want to be his friend any more," Sakura said quietly.
"That's ridiculous!" Kurogane snapped.
Sakura raised her head, and her penetrating green eyes met his. "Was he right?" she said.
Kurogane was silent for a long moment, until the pause became too uncomfortable. "Well, it isn't just up to me!" he snapped. "He made it pretty clear, when he --" tried to kill me in my sleep, he was about to say, but hesitated, and changed that mid-sentence to " -- when he argued with me about the war with Ceres, that he considered me to be his enemy. If that's the way he feels, I can't stop being who I am!"
The girl looked at him for a long moment, and then shook her head firmly. "I don't think he thinks that at all," she said. "I think he cares about you a lot, no matter who you are or where you're from. All that matters is that you're Kurogane-san."
He knew she was at least partly right, as little as he wanted to admit it to himself, Ashura wouldn't be able to use him to blackmail Fai if the idiot didn't somehow care for him. But that didn't mean that all other considerations could be just swept away. "It still matters," he said.
Unexpectedly, she smiled. "You know, it makes me really happy," she said. When he looked at her incredulously, she laughed and said, "That you two are friends. If two such very different men can become such good friends, then maybe there's a way for Ceres and Nihon to live in peace, after all."
He left the bedchamber, back through the white-glowing palace walls, with those words still ringing in his ears.
Author's Notes: What happened to the twin princes was actually reflective of an even older and more brutal set of infanticide practices in Valeria. In the old kingdom, twins were not merely bad luck; identical twins were born when a demon, a doppelganger, attached itself to an unborn baby. (Sometimes they were let to grow up for a year or two, in order to determine if they were truly identical or merely similar-looking fraternal twins; fraternal twins didn't carry the same stigma.)
The question then became how to determine which twin was human and which was a doppelganger. Since demons were thought not to need to breathe, the traditional method of identifying them was trial by water, which meant holding both twins underwater simultaneously until one of them drowned. If the other twin was still alive, it was assumed to be the demon, and the surviving twin was then burned alive.
Not that either Fai nor Ashura would have any way of knowing this, but the queen actually could not bear to see her babies killed, so she begged the king to lock them away instead. Imprisoning them and slowly starving them to death was seen as a more civilized alternative to the usual method of trial by water. If things had not been as confused in Ceres as they were when Fai finally died, and if Ashura had not invaded shortly after, then Yuui probably would have ended up being burned as a demon after all.
~to be continued....
Pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13
Summary: In which Kurogane meets the princess of Ceres, and learns the terrible truth about Fai's past.
Part 1 - Chapter I - Chapter II - Chapter III - Chapter IV - Chapter V
Part 2 - Chapter VI - Chapter VII - Chapter VIII - Chapter IX - Chapter X
Part 3 - Chapter XI - Chapter XII - Side Story: The Prince of Valeria - Chapter XIII - Chapter XIV
Part 4 - Chapter XV - Chapter XVI - Chapter XVII - Chapter XVIII - Chapter XIX - Chapter XX
Someone was calling him from close by; someone whose commands he could not ignore. "Fai," Ashura's voice came to him, gentle but inexorable. "Wake up now, Fai."
Struggling to obey, he opened his eyes and blinked against the warm brightness. Yellow lamplight against white walls; warm blankets and sheets around him. He was home, and therefore safe; he could feel a deep, aching exhaustion trying to pull him back into unconsciousness, but the crushing weight that he had spent so long fighting against was gone. He was safe.
He was safe, but what about -- memory returned to him all at once, he looked frantically around the room, searching for Kurogane. He hadn't counted on being incapacitated or unconscious for his homecoming, and thus unable to mediate between Kurogane and Ashura. For a moment he feared the worst, and could barely stutter out "Where is K -- where is my -- my friend? Is he -- did you -- ?"
"He is elsewhere in the palace, and unharmed," Ashura assured him, and Fai nearly melted with relief into the mattress until Ashura continued; "For now. At least until we can determine what his status shall be."
He still had a chance, then. Fai took a deep breath, and tried to muster his most eloquent arguments. "Your Majesty, please spare him," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "For all that he is a soldier of Nihon, he has never done us any harm, never meant us any harm. He is not our enemy, and he is powerful, he could be a powerful ally if we could ever convince him to our cause. At the very least, we should try, couldn't we try? To kill him would be wasteful, and a terrible injustice -- I could never... he has never... he has never harmed us, it isn't right..."
When Fai ran down, catching his breath, Ashura raised a hand for silence. "Very well," he said. "Since the prospect of this man's death has driven you to such distraction, then I will grant you the favor you ask for. I hereby rescind my command for the demon-hunter's death. On the condition that he agrees to cooperate and do no harm to Ceres, he will remain in Ruval under my personal protection. None in this country shall harm him."
Fai shut his eyes, relief coursing through him, and let out a breath that felt like he'd been holding it in for weeks. His shoulders slumped as though a thousand-pound weight had been removed, and he murmured, "Thank you. Thank you, my lord..."
But Ashura wasn't finished. "It deeply disappoints me, Fai, that things should come to this," he said, and Fai shuddered from his disapproval. "Much as I love you, the needs of our country are great, and you, it seems, are weaker and more fickle than I had thought. I am forced to wonder if you can truly be trusted to stand at my side, direct my troops and carry out my commands, in the days ahead. Are you still trustworthy, Fai?"
Fai's eyes flared open again, agony twisting inside his chest. "Your Majesty, please. I have never disobeyed you before, I swear that I never will again! Give me a chance to prove myself to you. Please..."
Ashura looked down on Fai, his expression serene and thoughtful. "Perhaps," he said. "Yes, I will give you another chance. If you serve me well in the days ahead, then my trust in you will be restored."
"However," he added after a moment, his voice going stern once more, "I do not want you to encounter or speak with that man again. I think I will leave the geas intact, at least until such time as your powers are needed again. You can do without them in the meantime, and perhaps the marking will serve as... a reminder."
Fai flinched again, and bowed his head, not meeting Ashura's eyes. It was a humiliating reminder of his disappointment to Ashura to be so hobbled, limited to only the simplest of spells. But it was no more than he deserved, for his disobedience, and he knew it. "Yes, my lord," he whispered.
"Rest now, Fai. You must regain your strength, if you are to do your duties by me," Ashura told him, with a gentleness in his voice that spoke of a love that Fai had never earned, could never be worthy of, and that heartache followed him back down into the darkness.
***
They gave Kurogane his own chamber in the palace, small and plain but adequately furnished with comforts; it was certainly no prison cell. They took away his armor but gave him clothes, fur-lined and belted in the style of Ceres. He was grateful for the warmth, but he was sure he looked ridiculous in them, especially since they were a size or two too small and several inches of wrist and ankle stuck out from the ends of the sleeves.
A servant brought meals to his chamber twice a day, and spoke at least enough basic nihongo that after three days of this Kurogane was able to track Ashura down in the library and confront him.
The king was seated at a stone-topped table, a book open before him and a quill and parchment ready at his right hand. He raised his head when Kurogane burst in, trailed by his keeper-guard; and if he didn't look particularly pleased by Kurogane's presence, he didn't look surprised, either.
"Why are you doing all this?" Kurogane said without preamble. "Why go to all this trouble? You wanted me dead; why not just kill me now?"
The king smiled slightly. "Why, because you care so much for Fai, of course. How could I deny charity to someone who shares an object of affection with me?"
"Bullshit," Kurogane said strongly. "What's the real reason?"
The king's smile grew slightly edged, but seemed much more real. "The true reason? Because Fai cares about you."
Kurogane stopped and thought about it. That sounded almost sincere, but it still didn't add up. "His caring about me didn't stop you from sending him out to kill me before," he growled.
"Yes, indeed," Ashura said, rubbed his eyes with one hand and sighed. "An error in judgment on my part, which caused him much unnecessary distress, and a terrible strain on his loyalty which nearly lost me one of my strongest weapons."
"Is that how you see Fai? As some tool to use and throw away?" Kurogane challenged.
Ashura shrugged, and spread his hands in a what-would-you-have-of-me gesture. "Son of my heart, heir to my throne, minister of my court, betrothed to my daughter, lieutenant in my wars, weapon in my arsenal... he's all these things to me, in turns. And yes, my most powerful tool, as well, my best weapon."
"So what do you need me for, if you know he's so loyal to you?" Kurogane demanded with exasperation. "If we're all the best of friends here, why don't you just let me leave?"
Ashura smiled again, and icy light seemed to flicker in his eyes. "Now, I couldn't allow one of my guests to venture out into such a dangerous climate," he said. "You could be hurt."
"I didn't plan to try to winter in Ceres," Kurogane said. "I meant go home to Nihon."
"Yes," Ashura said calmly. "Which is going to be a terribly unsafe place before long."
Kurogane stared, the hair beginning to stand up on the back of his neck; but Ashura continued imperturbably, "It's best for everyone if you stay our honored guest here," he said. "That way, Fai won't be troubled by the thoughts of you in some peril or danger out there, and he will no longer be inspired to any kind of... disloyal acts, knowing that you are safe and secure in my hands."
Something seemed to click over at last in Kurogane's head. "And he also knows that if he does step a foot out of line, you've got me to hold against him," he snarled. "You bastard."
"My dear Lord of Suwa. How did you get to be so cynical at such a young age?" Ashura said in a tone of mild surprise. "I'm only looking out for everyone's well-being; yours, mine, and Fai's as well."
"Why won't you let me see him?" Kurogane said finally. Straightforward and honest questions seemed to be the best way to get results from Ashura; which was just as well, as Kurogane was not good at roundabout word games or deceptions.
Ashura looked at him, his regard steady. "Because I was not sure I trusted you around him," he said equally candidly, "or him around you."
Of course, that didn't mean that he'd get results that he'd like. He ground his teeth in frustration, but Ashura had sensed blood and was moving in for the kill. "Why do you want to see him so badly?" he countered. "Your stated reason for coming to Ceres was to face me."
Kurogane sighed, and rubbed his hands over his eyes. He didn't like talking about this so openly, but Ashura was far too perceptive; it wasn't like hiding his motives was doing either of them a damn bit of good. "I'm worried about him," he said quietly. "He was hurt. I want to make sure he's doing well."
Ashura gave him a cool look. "I assure you, Lord Suwa, that our doctors are more than competent. Certainly, they are more competent to look after his injuries than you."
"It's not his injuries that I'm worried about," Kurogane said. "At least, not his physical ones."
For the first time, Ashura hesitated. "What do you mean?" he said finally, and his voice betrayed a hint of uncertainty.
It almost made Kurogane feel like they were allies, in this strange battlefield; they might be from enemy nations, but in this they could find common ground. "I traveled with the mage for almost a month," he said finally, "and I know he's no coward. He faced down deadly danger any number of times, fought against a force of brigands that outnumbered us ten to one -- watched my back against a demon, and I know exactly what kind of courage that takes. But when we were in the tunnel, he was scared out of his mind, scared in a way no rational person should possibly be. And when we were trapped under the stone..."
He trailed off, trying to find a way to express his worries, to make his own fears seem rational. "He wasn't all there all the time, it was like he forgot where he was, who I was. It was like he forgot who he was, and he talked to himself... a lot. I know he was hit on the head, and I know that can do strange things to a man's mind, break things in funny little ways that can never be repaired." Ashura was listening in a way that made Kurogane sure for the first time that he had all the man's attention; he covered his mouth with his hand and stared at Kurogane intently with sharp gray eyes. "That's what I'm afraid of, that he's lost inside his mind, and can't find his way back."
Ashura leaned across the table towards him, his grey eyes intent, a concerned crease between his brows. "You said he talked to himself," he said. "What do you mean by that?"
Kurogane was confused by the question; didn't he mean exactly what he said? Maybe Ashura just didn't know that phrase. "I mean... he talked to himself as though he thought he were a completely separate person," he tried. "He'd answer my questions, but as though he were hearing a completely different conversation."
"What exactly did he say?" Ashura asked sharply.
"He'd say things like 'Don't be afraid, Fai,' or 'You aren't alone, Fai, I'm with you.' " It made him uncomfortable to repeat the mage's delirious rambling, like he was giving away his secrets; but it seemed to mean something to Ashura.
Ashura sighed, a deep and rich sound, and buried his face in his two hands. It made him look suddenly ten years older, with those penetrating eyes hooded, and much more human. "Oh, my poor boy," he said, voice muffled. After a moment, he raised his head again and regarded Kurogane, rather sadly. "You have nothing to fear, Lord Kurogane," he said. "He has not lost touch with reality. Quite the reverse, in fact... At any rate, he is no less sane than he has ever been."
Kurogane tensed. He didn't like the sound of that. "I don't understand," he said.
Ashura waved his hand in impatient dismissal. "You don't need to understand," he said. "He'll be all right."
Kurogane's hand tightened on the edge of the desk, hard enough that the metal edge creaked. "I need to understand," he said, voice vibrating with intensity.
Ashura looked at him for a long moment, gaze flickering to the abused edge of the desk in his hands, but finally nodded. "Yes. I think perhaps I'd better explain to you. You have the need, and I believe you have earned the right." The king gestured to one of the delicate chairs that graced the library -- metal-framed, as everything in this kingdom seemed to be. Kurogane eyed it warily, but it took his weight well enough.
Ashura began. "Although I consider him my own, Fai is not originally from Ceres. He is of Valeria."
"Valeria?" Kurogane's head came up, startled. He didn't pay much attention to politics, but he was familiar with that name. "You mean he was from Valeria? Wait -- isn't that the country that you guys went out and conquered, what, thirty-five years ago? And to think that you complain that we're conquistadors," he added somewhat bitterly.
Ashura smiled dryly. "Perhaps. But there are some differences. It began when we received a most unusual letter, delivered by a messenger half-dead from exhaustion and injuries, signed by most of the high-ranking noble families of Valeria. The letter was addressed to all the heads of sovereign nations surrounding Valeria, begging for intervention and aid, in any form. We did not invade Valeria. We were invited."
Kurogane snorted. Like he hadn't heard that story before. The histories of Nihon were filled with similar declarations, about how this or that outlying province was undyingly grateful to have been brought under the enlightened rule of the Empire and share in its prosperity.
Ashura shrugged. "I can show you the original letter, still sealed in our archives. Although I suppose you have no reason not to think it a forgery. But it's true. You see, the king of Valeria was mad.
"There is intrigue and conflict in every kingdom, I suppose, between the central appointed authority of the crown and that of the nobles who manage the land. But the then king of Valeria, through whatever disease or curse or heredity, was truly insane. He had progressed from ordering mass arrest and imprisonment of those he thought were plotting against him -- or had insulted him -- or failed to show sufficient proof of loyalty -- to simply sending out his troops to murder them on the spot. Men, women, children and all. Entire villages were disappearing off the map of Valeria overnight. The high court was desperate, terrorized, when they were driven to sign and send out that missive. I am surprised a copy of it never made it to Nihon; perhaps the messenger was caught and killed along the way. History might have turned out quite differently if they had reached you first.
"It is the wrong word perhaps to say that we conquered Valeria. When I went there -- led my army there -- " Ashura's eyes had gone very distant, and Kurogane was led to wonder anew at his age. He didn't look much older than thirty, no lines on his face or grey in his hair, but those eyes were far older than that. It bothered Kurogane that he couldn't remember, off-hand, how many years the present King of Ceres had ruled.
"Except for some last-ditch defenses from the border guards, who were confused and frightened but, I supposed, carrying out their duty in the only way they knew how... we met no resistance on our ride to the court. There was no one left who could resist us, or would. Those who survived were hiding in their homes, or some even in the wilderness, in the rocks and rime. Some threw rocks, or screamed insults; some came out to throw themselves at our feet and beg for mercy. But none of them fought us, no.
"When we reached the court..." The years-distant look in Ashura's expression intensified. It was as though he wasn't seeing Kurogane, or this little chamber, at all. "The gates were locked, but there was no one to defend them. We broke down the gates and rode in, myself and my guard, ready for... anything, we thought, but we met no one. No one alive. We passed through the receiving chambers, through the banquet hall... the old king believed, you see, that if he ate the flesh of those he killed, then their powers would increase his, and make him ever more powerful."
Breakfast was becoming a regret in Kurogane's stomach. He swallowed hard, but didn't interrupt.
"The servants were slaughtered or fled, the nobles missing. Even the royal family had not been spared. The king's half-brother, his male cousins, would of course have been a threat to him; their bodies had been on display for some time before we arrived. We found the queen's body, in the end, broken on the courtyard stones. It was... not entirely clear from the evidence, whether she had jumped from the tower in her last despair, or if she had been pushed.
"It was underground that we at last found people in that castle alive. The jailers were still alive, though we didn't bother to keep them so. Some of the high court were still there, even, locked in cells awaiting their turn at the kitchens. Further down we found even some older prisoners, from much earlier in the king's reign, mercifully forgotten perhaps. And... we also found one cell, more of an oubliette than a proper prison, no light from the outside, no higher," -- he made a gesture with his hand, indicating height -- "than my waist. Even they could not stand up in such a cell."
"They?" Kurogane hazarded, when Ashura did not immediately continue his story.
"The king's young children, the missing heirs to the throne. The twin princes of Valeria, Fai and Yuui of Valeria."
"What?" Kurogane came bolt upright with the exclamation. "Crown prince of -- wait a minute, twins? Fai has a brother?"
Ashura shook his head, slowly. "We found the two of them, in that pit. One alive. One dead. It was hard to tell, from the condition of the cell, how long they had been there. Maybe months, maybe years. But Prince Fai had obviously died only recently -- more than one week, but less than two. Starved to death, by all indications."
Kurogane's head jerked up, gaze locking with Ashura's. "Prince Fai? Don't you mean -- the other one -- Yuui? Because Fai isn't --" Gruesome visions of necromancy danced through his head, and he shook his head helplessly; he didn't understand this.
"No," Ashura said calmly. "I said what I meant. Little Fai was dead; his twin brother, Yuui, was still alive. We took him back to Ceres... I had decided, you see, to raise him as my own since he had no living family remaining. But it took him quite a long time to learn to do things again. To stand straight again, to walk, to meet people's eyes. To speak..."
Ashura trailed off, and for a moment he seemed years away, lost in memories of another time. He shook his head, and seemed to come back to himself. "When he did finally speak, he told us that Yuui of Valeria was dead, and from then on he would be Fai, Fai Flowright of Ceres."
"So when he was talking to 'Fai'... under the ruins, I mean..." Kurogane said slowly. "He wasn't talking to himself, exactly. He was talking to the first Fai, his brother..."
"Yes. Most likely the surroundings reminded him... rather sharply of his childhood, and put him in mind of his lost brother again."
Kurogane sat stunned, trying to reconcile this story with the Fai he knew -- careless and flighty, always finding something new to laugh at, always friendly. No wonder the mage had looked at him like he had two heads when he asked if Fai had loved his parents. Fai had never had parents, just worthless wastes of flesh, royal or not -- and that was another thing he couldn't believe, a prince --
Ashura held up one hand, commanding Kurogane's attention again. "Do keep in mind, this is not something that Fai talks about. To anyone. I'm not entirely certain how much of it he remembers, or how clearly... and how much he has allowed himself to forget. I only told you so that you could understand about his brother, and to some extent why he is... the way he is."
Kurogane opened his mouth, then closed it again. He'd begun asking questions in this audience with the worry that Fai was insane, or had been driven so. The new information he'd learned, while in some ways appeasing that worry, only served to open up more questions. "So he really is -- was -- is the heir to the throne of Valeria," he said, tasting the amazement in his voice, and then shook his head. "Why do you keep him here, then? Why not set him up as king in Valeria, puppet-king if that's what you really wanted? Do you like the idea of keeping another country's royalty under your eye, in servitude to you?"
His voice was challenging, but the king did not rise to the bait. "For many reasons," he said, "some of them having to do with me, some having to do with Fai, and some having to do with Valeria itself. How much do you know about the country of Valeria, and its people?"
"Not much. They're a tiny country way up in the mountains. Backwards." Of course, they said the same things about Ceres, in Edo.
"Backwards is an apt description. The people of Valeria are very superstitious, the nobles no less so in the peasants. It is still said, among -- " Ashura hesitated, then went on, " -- certain segments of the population, that it was the birth of royal twins that cursed the king, sent him into madness in the first place. And as conditions grew worse in Valeria, the twins were blamed."
Kurogane stared in disbelief. "But they were just children!"
"In Valeria, twins are held to be a bad omen, and the higher their rank, the worse the luck they are supposed to bring. The traditional ritual for disposing of twins is -- well, that doesn't matter now." Ashura grimaced, like there was a bad taste in his mouth.
"Even among those who don't believe in the old legends, who don't believe in the curse of the twins... the old king was widely hated, as you can imagine. Any blood relatives of his would be... not welcomed back, not to Valeria, and especially not to the throne. He finds it easier to avoid his home country entirely, and be only Fai of Ceres."
Kurogane pushed himself off the chair, which scraped back with a teeth-grinding noise, and began to pace. He couldn't keep still, not with this feeling, slow black rage like molasses boiling up around the cracks in his self-control. More than anything, he wanted something he could hit, some target he could lash out at... "What about the king?" he asked abruptly. It was probably too much to hope that he'd still be alive for righteous vengeance thirty years after the fact, but he had to ask.
Ashura's eyebrow rose slightly, but he answered, "We found him in his throne room -- on his throne, in fact -- with a blade in his belly. He was still alive when we found him, but he didn't survive for long, and he said nothing of sense in the hours before he died. Quite, quite mad."
"Suicide?" Kurogane inquired hopefully. Harikiri was considered a final way to atone for lost honor, in Nihon; and while he didn't think a simple belly-slitting would possibly make up for a life like his, it was a step in the right direction.
"Possibly. It was his blade, anyway."
Kurogane frowned, and kept pacing. Something still didn't add up quite right, here. Ashura watched him, bemused, but made no move to end the audience. Emboldened, Kurogane went on, "Here's what I don't understand. The old bastard was ax crazy, I get that. And he locked up or killed off most of his court, and terrorized and killed the peasantry. Fine. But if he killed everyone around him who could have supported him, then who was carrying out his orders? One man by himself, even a king, can't personally kill half a country. You said that when you invaded, you didn't even find an army left to fight. So who was doing it?"
Ashura sat back, folding his hands on the table, and looked at Kurogane with a new interest. "An incisive question. I can only tell you what I saw, and no, we encountered no army, not even a city guard. But when asked about it, the surviving court nobles -- and those of the peasants who overcame their terror enough to speak out -- talked about the king's devoted corps of men, who wore black and never showed their faces. They supposedly started showing up several years before, just as the king was going over the edge into madness, and as the army and regular guards became less and less, there were more and more of them."
"They had to have been local Valerians, though, right? Personally sworn to the king?" If there had been that many, then surely there were still some left, even after all this time.
Ashura shrugged, spreading his long, elegant hands. "No single person we talked to ever claimed to know who a single one of them was. Covered faces or no, there should have been at least some parent -- friend -- brother -- but no. They seemed to be complete outsiders. Even the crest they wore was not the King's personal seal."
"What was it, then?" Kurogane said.
"As I said, we never saw any of these special guards. Whether they existed at all or not, there was no sign of them when we entered the scene -- not alive, not a dead body, not even part of a garment. But the people who remembered seeing them talked very passionately about 'the black bat who brings death.' "
Kurogane stopped in mid-circuit.
"Black bat?" he said after a long time, voice very calm and remote. "On a yellow background?"
Ashura regarded him with mild surprise. "Why, yes. How did you know that?"
"I've encountered it before," Kurogane said, still in that flat-level voice. "Excuse me. I have to go now."
"Very well," Ashura said after a bemused silence. "Yukito will escort you back to your chambers."
They walked in silence, for the first part, Kurogane's brain seething so hard that he barely saw the serene beauty of the palace halls. The black bat -- the black bat crest that had been on the sword, on the arm of the figure that had murdered his mother, that had destroyed Suwa? No, surely it couldn't be the same one. Oh yeah? Why not? How many magically appearing-disappearing, murdering bat-wielders are out there? Who says it can't be the same one?
The fall of Valeria had been more than thirty years ago... the fall of Suwa had been barely ten years ago. Could the same man still be alive and active after all this time? He could if he were a wizard. What was it... what was it that Fai had said, about some type of magic that no sane men dared to try? Portals, which could cross the distance between one place and another in a blink of an eye? A portal that could admit a man, or a whole squad of men, could also admit just an arm and a sword, couldn't it?
One thing was for sure: the methods might have been different in each case, but the effects were very much the same. A country destroyed, its people slaughtered... survivors left terrorized, lives ruined...
Abruptly he turned to Yukito, startling the pale man into taking a step back. "Take me to the wizard."
Yukito blinked at him, baffled. "What -- which one?"
"To Fai! To the damn idiot, that's who!" Kurogane snarled, irrationally annoyed at having to say his name. "I want to see him. I have to see him."
Yukito gave him a very long and solemn look, his pale amber eyes half-hidden behind the glass spectacles, but then he nodded, and changed direction.
***
Yukito took him to another wing of the palace; he'd been this far once, but the guards stationed at the end of the hallway had turned him back. Now Yukito said something to them in the native Ceres tongue, and they reluctantly stood aside for him.
There were more guards outside of Fai's rooms, and one stationed inside the room as well, but Kurogane had expected that, and he was getting almost as good at ignoring the presence of guards in Ceres as he was at ignoring them in Shirasagi Castle. What he hadn't expected to find in Fai's room, though, was a teenaged girl sitting beside his bed, laying a cold compress on his forehead.
She looked up and saw him, and eyes the vivid green of a summer field widened as she squeaked in surprise and shrank back. "Oh, relax!" Kurogane snapped, and tried his best to make his body language non-threatening. "I promise, I don't eat little girls."
"S-sorry." She relaxed, seemed to remember her manners, and smiled hesitantly up at him. "I - um - I don't think we've met before?"
"Kurogane," he introduced himself. After a moment of hesitation, he went around to the other side of the bed and pulled up another seat, so he wouldn't loom over her quite so badly. She was a tiny thing -- skinny-limbed and no taller than his waist. He did his best to smile at her, put her at ease. "Kurogane of Suwa. I just came to visit the w - Fai."
She reminded him a little bit of Tomoyo when she had been this age, although even as a teenager Tomoyo had been grave and dignified, solemn with the weight of responsibility. This girl was all flutters, caught in the coltish awkwardness of adolescence; her frame had begun to grow, but not filled out yet, and her arms and legs were skinny. Her clothes were bright-colored jewel tones, topped with delicate scarves that fluttered as she moved, and an intricately engraved silver headband kept her ginger-colored hair out of her face. She was too young and awkward to be called pretty, but when she smiled, it lit up her whole face.
"I'm sorry he's not awake right now," she said, her smile firming in return to his, and she held out one delicate hand for him to shake. "The doctor gave him a potion to make him sleep, you see. But it's so kind of you to come, anyway. I'm Sakura."
He gazed at Fai, trying to hide his disappointment -- at least Fai seemed to be sleeping peacefully, his breathing deep and even, some color restored to his skin. He was just trying to place the faint association the name made in his mind, when she added offhandedly, "King Ashura is my father."
Kurogane stared at her in astonishment. This was Princess Sakura, Fai's betrothed? "But you're just a child!" he exclaimed despite himself.
"I'm not a child, I'm fourteen!" she said indignantly, glaring at him -- the effect was rather unconvincing, like a kitten trying to intimidate a bulldog.
If she was fourteen, then that meant that Fai was old enough to be her father, almost her grandfather! He knew that the nobility was different when it came to marriages, the royalty even more so -- but that was just ridiculous. He'd been prepared, subconsciously, to dislike Fai's fiancee, but was quite willing enough to transfer his resentment to King Ashura, for pushing such a match on her so young.
She was studying him curiously. "Suwa, isn't that a place in Nihon?" she said, yanking his attention back. "Does that mean you're from Nihon? I wasn't sure at first, because of your eyes -- I thought all Nihon people had black eyes."
"Yes, I'm from Nihon," Kurogane growled wearily; not like he hadn't had people commenting on his unusual, unnatural looks all his life. At least there seemed to be one person in this country who hadn't already been briefed on his identity and his status as a prisoner.
"Oh! I'm sorry, did I say something wrong? I think they're very nice eyes, I just didn't know what to expect!" Sakura blushed slightly, covering her mouth with her hands. "Anyway, if you're from Nihon, what are you doing here? Are you an ambassador from Shirasagi Castle?" She eyed him with a new interest.
"No," Kurogane said, somewhat impressed by her knowledge of the outside world, for her age. "I was traveling with the -- with Fai. I came up with him before the pass collapsed."
"So you're Fai's friend!" Sakura's face lit up with that smile again, and the look she gave him made it clear that as far as she was concerned, that made them practically family. "I'm so glad to meet you! I've never had a chance to meet anyone from Nihon before. I've been practicing nihongo with the other people from the court, but I've never had a chance to talk with a native speaker before. If I say something wrong, you have to tell me right away, okay Kurogane-san?" she added earnestly.
"Okay," Kurogane said, somewhat stunned by her enthusiasm. This had to be the first person he'd met in Ceres -- including Fai -- who didn't speak of his home country with a buried resentment and hostility. "But I don't think so, you speak it very well for someone who's never been there."
"I wish I could go there, someday." Her expression turned wistful. "What's it like? Really?"
Kurogane sat in silence. He had no idea how to begin, and he was too painfully aware of the other ears listening - Yukito, pale in the shadows, and the guard, who probably couldn't even understand what they were saying. He was no poet, no man of words. How could he tell her about the endless rows of carefully measured fields, blossoming over with rice and barley plants, shining so vivid a green in the summer sunshine that they seemed to glow with a light of their own? How could he show her the towns and villages, the wooden beams of the houses a dark weathered brown with age, plaster walls with paper charms and tiny glass chimes tinkling in the wind? How could he describe for her Shirasagi Castle, the dark glistening surface of the moat stirring with koi underneath, the stone walls towering above them under the graceful oak beams and black slate tiles of the roof? How could he make her see his home as he saw it, with these unfriendly ears listening in?
"It's a lot different from Ceres," he said lamely, well aware that this wasn't nearly enough. "It's... more spread out. More green."
She nodded eagerly, and her eyes dropped to the sleeping man on the bed. "Fai told me it's like spring and summer all year round, down there," she said, sounding envious. "There are always flowers blooming, and the trees never fully lose their leaves."
"That's not true," he objected. "We have winter, and snow and ice, too. It just -- it doesn't last as long, that's all. And it doesn't get quite as cold."
"It's not the same winter," Sakura said, her voice quiet, but certain. "Winter in the mountains lasts more than half the year. It's..." She bit her lip, and her green eyes turned dark. "It's awful, for the people up here. They have so little -- it's so hard for them, to grow all the food they need, and then they have to tithe to the castle, too..."
She looked upset, almost teary, and Kurogane shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Fai had talked about the famine situation in Ceres as well, but he'd been angry at the time, and it was easy to dismiss it as someone else's problem. Facing an upset little girl was another thing entirely. "It's their duty as subjects, to supply their king," he said gruffly.
Sakura nodded, looking miserable. "Fai-niisan says I must eat, because they need a strong and healthy future leader more than they need one little girl's worth of food. But it's still... I feel so terrible. I just wish there was some way I could help them." She sighed.
Kurogane did a double-take. The word the princess had used for Fai meant 'brother,' but it was not inappropriate for a young girl to use the same word to address an unrelated older man of whom she was fond. What was inappropriate, however, was using the same word to describe a man you were going to marry.
"Brother?" he said carefully. "I didn't think you were related." In fact, he didn't see how they could be.
The princess made a face. "Oh... well, we aren't, not actually," she said. "He's only my foster brother, really, because Father raised him. But he's always been like a brother to me. Ever since I was little he's always looked out for me, watched over me... played games with me, taught me things, and cheered me up when I was sad." Her green eyes softened, and she smiled down at the man in the bed with tender affection.
Kurogane rubbed his face. "And you don't think it's at all weird that you're supposed to marry the man who changed your diapers when you were little?" he said sharply.
Her face fell, and Kurogane immediately regretted his question. She looked down and bit her lip, still cradling Fai's hand in her lap. After a moment she said, in a voice scarcely louder than a whisper, "Father says... it's the best match for me. Because of who he is, his blood rank is equal to my own. It will help unite our two countries, he says. And... and..."
She looked up at him, and her eyes were filled with uncertainty and a tinge of fear.
"And I know he'll never raise a hand to harm me," she said, "because I know he does care for me, and I -- I don't mind spending the rest of my life with him, I love him. What more could I ask for in a marriage?"
Kurogane didn't know what to say to that, so he looked away, breaking eye contact. He couldn't understand what it was like to be in her position, not really -- to have so little control over your own life that you knew, someday, you might be bartered off to a total stranger. Royals. Gods, how were they not all insane?
His gaze fell on Fai, so dead to the world that none of their conversation had roused him. He wished Fai was awake, but at the same time, it was a relief that he wasn't; he had no idea what to say to him. How to say what was seething in his mind. Hello, wizard, it's nice to see you again, oh and I hear that your brother was murdered forty years ago? By the way, I talked to Ashura today, and he violated your privacy and told me all of your most painful secrets? Sorry that your parents were a pair of worthless scumbags? Sorry to hear that your childhood was raped and taken away from you?
What it all came down to in the end was that he didn't know this man sleeping on the bed in front of him. He didn't know him at all. The happy Fai that he knew was just a shell, an illusion. And that hurt, a lot.
"He never told me," Kurogane said. "He never told me that he was engaged... or that had a little sister."
Sakura bit her lip. "Well... he couldn't have, really, not even if he wanted to."
"Why not?"
"Nobody's allowed to tell any outsiders about me," Sakura said. "It's a law. Father says it's to protect me." A hint of reservations in her voice said that she had her own doubts about that edict, but not openly.
But the royal politics of Ceres didn't concern Kurogane. Or they shouldn't, but... Kurogane moved around, stared down at the sleeping face. "He never told me a lot of things," he said, quietly. "He never told me he was the King's son. He never told me he was the senior wizard of Ceres. He let me assume that he was -- that I was -- " he broke off, struggling to articulate the betrayal he felt.
Fai had never lied, no, he'd never directly lied, but he'd implied that he was of lower status, just a normal everyday person -- well, and a wizard. He'd led Kurogane to believe that the two of them were equals; but they weren't.
"Maybe he was afraid to tell you?" Sakura suggested tentatively.
"Why would he be afraid of me?" Kurogane said, offended and angered by the suggestion. He thought of Yukito's words, in the receiving hall the first night they'd come in. "Was he afraid that I would try to take him hostage or hurt him, if I found out who he was? Did he think I was that kind of scum?"
"Maybe he was afraid that if you knew who he was, you wouldn't want to be his friend any more," Sakura said quietly.
"That's ridiculous!" Kurogane snapped.
Sakura raised her head, and her penetrating green eyes met his. "Was he right?" she said.
Kurogane was silent for a long moment, until the pause became too uncomfortable. "Well, it isn't just up to me!" he snapped. "He made it pretty clear, when he --" tried to kill me in my sleep, he was about to say, but hesitated, and changed that mid-sentence to " -- when he argued with me about the war with Ceres, that he considered me to be his enemy. If that's the way he feels, I can't stop being who I am!"
The girl looked at him for a long moment, and then shook her head firmly. "I don't think he thinks that at all," she said. "I think he cares about you a lot, no matter who you are or where you're from. All that matters is that you're Kurogane-san."
He knew she was at least partly right, as little as he wanted to admit it to himself, Ashura wouldn't be able to use him to blackmail Fai if the idiot didn't somehow care for him. But that didn't mean that all other considerations could be just swept away. "It still matters," he said.
Unexpectedly, she smiled. "You know, it makes me really happy," she said. When he looked at her incredulously, she laughed and said, "That you two are friends. If two such very different men can become such good friends, then maybe there's a way for Ceres and Nihon to live in peace, after all."
He left the bedchamber, back through the white-glowing palace walls, with those words still ringing in his ears.
Author's Notes: What happened to the twin princes was actually reflective of an even older and more brutal set of infanticide practices in Valeria. In the old kingdom, twins were not merely bad luck; identical twins were born when a demon, a doppelganger, attached itself to an unborn baby. (Sometimes they were let to grow up for a year or two, in order to determine if they were truly identical or merely similar-looking fraternal twins; fraternal twins didn't carry the same stigma.)
The question then became how to determine which twin was human and which was a doppelganger. Since demons were thought not to need to breathe, the traditional method of identifying them was trial by water, which meant holding both twins underwater simultaneously until one of them drowned. If the other twin was still alive, it was assumed to be the demon, and the surviving twin was then burned alive.
Not that either Fai nor Ashura would have any way of knowing this, but the queen actually could not bear to see her babies killed, so she begged the king to lock them away instead. Imprisoning them and slowly starving them to death was seen as a more civilized alternative to the usual method of trial by water. If things had not been as confused in Ceres as they were when Fai finally died, and if Ashura had not invaded shortly after, then Yuui probably would have ended up being burned as a demon after all.
~to be continued....