My world has been spinning lately. Everything goes too fast and too much always needs to get done. I got sick over spring break. I haven't been that sick in a long, long time. I went to urgent care with a fever, but they didn't know what else was wrong. I think my body just quit. It had enough ( Read more... )

I went to a parent support group on Friday. It was at Nature's Playhouse where we spend a lot of our time anyway. As everyone else sat in a circle I told my story while watching Andrew climb up the slide. "I am a single mom with twins. It can be a lot." I took him down from the slide and brought him over to where everyone else was sitting. "I spent ( Read more... )

It's weird Jamie and I use to talk for hour-literally hours every day back and forth in text. I won't do it anymore. I find it irritating-it's not much different than what I did with Heidi and Eleanor. It's terrifying because I was so close to her and now I don't know who to turn to. This will take some sorting out time, but I think it's the right ( Read more... )

Yesterday was an incredibly long day. It was a less than sellar parenting day because I was tired. We went to music class and did a pool party in the bathtub because it was raining, but that was it. It was a hard day to get through. Hopefully today will be better ( Read more... )

Three days of school left with kids. I don't hate school at this point, the kids have settled in and they aren't fighting assignments, me or each other. The kid who was throwing Pop rocks (the firecrackers) and was sent back to my room because it wasn't a major issue brought a knife to school. He was suspended for five days (not expelled the knife ( Read more... )

In about two weeks Eleanor will be dead for a year. I missed her for a long, long time but now I can go for days without thinking about her. She was an amazing part of my life, messy and the lessons were hard, but I loved her. A friend said, "you don't think you will ever find that connection again." I nodded and said, "You are right." And that was ( Read more... )

Things are interesting. I find myself engaging in conversations that I really shouldn't be having because they make me feel pretty drained. My life is draining enough. I haven't written in a while because things were okay, kind of calm. But, my head is getting messy again so it's time to write more. Lots has happened and I don't really know where ( Read more... )

Eleanor's coroner report came out this week. They stated that she hung herself while suffering from a severe mental illness. I haven't talked to her in a year and a half but the fact that she's dead is still weird. In my mind, I had all sorts of ideas about the writing her and I would accomplish together. I still think about her everyday. When ( Read more... )

I am drinking Starbucks tea in Chicago. In about 9 hours I will be in Alaska. I love traveling because it makes me think I could leave and start all over again. It would be nice ( Read more... )

I was home from work yesterday because I had lots to do. My dog thinks I started home to be her entertainment. She is cute and currently laying on my lap and does not want to move. I don't want to move either. That is all for now.