My poly coming-out!

Apr 07, 2011 00:49

(I posted this to Dreamwidth last night and I guess there are cross-posting issues. So here you go ( Read more... )

polyamory, relationships, matt

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Comments 8

tartcherry April 7 2011, 17:44:39 UTC
The guy that Im seeing (dating? casually dating? Hooking up with?!) is interested in non-monogamous relationships but I know nothing about them other then what Ive seen on tv with sisterwives and big love. can you hook me up with some links so I can read more on it?

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kschap April 8 2011, 21:55:57 UTC
Sure!

http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html
That's a pretty exhaustive resource right there. Lots of different categories for what polyamory/non-monogamy can look like, and issues that are commonly run into.

http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/
This one is kind of a guide/advice blog with pretty good, no-nonsense advice.

Search iTunes for "polyamory" and you should find the Polyamory Weekly podcast, which is sometimes sort of boring, but has a lot of good information as well.

If you become more interested there are a couple of great books that I have that I'm in the middle of reading. I don't think you'll find them at the library, haha, but they're not that expensive. One is The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, and the other one is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino.

polyamory is also a good place to check out for practical advice for specific situations one might encounter in this sort of ( ... )

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You go, Girl! madcap_maisie April 8 2011, 06:05:46 UTC
Do what you feel is right, organic, inspiring, etc, and (figuratively) fuck the rest! = D Life would be unbearable if the ignorant fucks and haters had complete control. I personally think that in order for a person to grow emotionally/spiritually/intellectually one must experience a variety of people.. And I would bet that the new, worldly you and boyfriend would have an even stronger bond, armed with the awareness and influence of different perspectives. My immediate intuition though, as an outside observer of sorts, is that you may blossom and he may become very jealous at points.. but that's just kind of a random thought that crossed my mind.. best of luck in your endeavours lady!!

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Re: You go, Girl! kschap April 10 2011, 06:25:41 UTC
Actually, it begun a bit in reverse of your intuition. :D Matt actually asked me first about having an open relationship, a few years ago. We were still long-distance at the time and he had someone specific in mind that he wanted to date, so those two things combined with the fact that I was still pretty insecure about a lot of things led me to first approve that, and then freak out for a day or two majorly and change my mind. Haha ( ... )

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Re: You go, Girl! kschap April 10 2011, 06:27:24 UTC
And I think that "begun" at the beginning is wrong. :D

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amokk April 9 2011, 05:54:00 UTC
LJ has to be working for crossposting to work. Also, dump Dan Savage, he's a douchenozzle.

I think more people should accept and be polyamorous, or non-monogamous, or whatever works for them.

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kschap April 10 2011, 06:30:40 UTC
What don't you like about Dan Savage?

I am not saying I think he's my hero or anything, I'm just honestly curious. I've heard of other people having problems with him, too. As for me, I know he's not perfect, but I think a lot of his advice is really quite sound.

And I agree: I think more widespread, open and honest consensual non-monogamy might solve a significant portion of the world's problems. Haha.

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